This is what a typical british breakfast looks like

77 points · 128 comments · view on lemmy.world

128 Comments

blackn1ght@feddit.uk · 196 pts · 150d (4 replies)

Did you cook that using your camera flash?

determinist@kbin.earth · 54 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Left it out until there was a break in the clouds

kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 150d

Gotta take it in before that UV hits it. What if it accidentally developed some color or flavor?

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 150d

I was going to say something but this is way better.

ieGod@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 150d

Lmao. Cooked 'em with this comment that's for sure.

CelloMike@lemmy.world · 111 pts · 150d (36 replies)

I meannnn

Brit here, all the elements are correct but jeez please cook all of that for at least twice as long

JillSteinsPuckeredAnus@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 150d (25 replies)

Nobody visits England for the food.

Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk · 32 pts · 150d (17 replies)

Well no, people visit the UK to experience our culture and history.

When they arrive they are often pleasantly surprised that our food is actually quite good.

A proper fried breakfast with quality meats and good sundries beats an american breakfast hands down. Proper back bacon instead of that crispy streaky shit Americans eat, proper sausages instead of those shitty little cat turd "links", toast made from thick cut bread from a real bakery (or baked on site). God tier.

I challenge anyone to eat a proper shortcrust pastry meat pie made with slow cooked beef in a rich beer/red wine gravy with vegetables and chips and come away thinking it isn't anything other than delicious (unless they dont like pies....)

hraegsvelmir@ani.social · 7 pts · 150d

Proper back bacon instead of that crispy streaky shit Americans eat,

This is the only part I'll push back on being better, and even then, it's with some qualifications. Rashers are fine, and I think I even prefer them if it's on a sandwich or burger, but just sat on a plate? Slab bacon beats it every time for me. A nice, thick cut piece of streaky bacon is just more tasty to me, though you need the right balance of lean and streaky bits. Honestly, I think that's where rashers lose me at breakfast, they're just too far on the lean side, so you hardly get any of the nice, crispy fat bits, just a little strip of it at the edges.

Then again, I have no complaints with an Irish breakfast roll for breakfast if I'm feeling lazy, which, around here, gets you some sausage links, rasher, and a couple pieces of black and white pudding, wrapped up in the same sort of pastry you'd make a sausage roll with. Not the healthiest of breakfasts, but it certainly does the job when you're hungry and tastes great with some brown sauce on it.

protist@retrofed.com · 7 pts · 150d (2 replies)

When you say "American breakfast," we do have that sometimes, but what it actually consists of and the quality (e.g. type of bacon or sausage, how the eggs are cooked) varies widely. Where I live, breakfast tacos are much more common than the stereotypical American breakfast though

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 150d (1 reply)

I'm not even sure a "stereotypical American breakfast" even exists in 2026.

My go-to is a breakfast sandwich on a toasted bagel

protist@retrofed.com · 1 pts · 150d

Yeah mine is oatmeal with walnuts, honey, coconut, and a bit of cocoa powder with a scoop of cottage cheese. Classic American breakfast 😂

Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 150d (10 replies)

As an Australian, English pies make me sad.

JillSteinsPuckeredAnus@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 150d (2 replies)

As a Kiwi, Australian pies make me sad.

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 150d

Always blow on the pie. Safer communities together

Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 150d

I've never had a Kiwi pie, but I'd like to hope you've toured around the regions and based your opinion on country bakery pies or on-point roadhouse pies rather than the standard city servo fair.

porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 150d (6 replies)

Their sausage rolls pale compared to their oceanic descendants too.

Deceptichum@quokk.au · 4 pts · 150d
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Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 150d (4 replies)

They should be embarrassed by what they call sausage rolls.

porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 150d (3 replies)

they have no idea, haha, they got very offended over there when I told them I was disappointed to find they were so shit compared to NZ ones

Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 150d

I managed to find one good sausage roll at the Southbank market one time (lived there for 8 years and was actively seeking out acceptable sausage rolls and pies the whole time), I blew the mind of the guy selling it by suggesting he should make some with bacon and cheese in the sausage meat.

egrets@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

I'm feeling a bit defensive about UK food in this thread, but it's undeniably true that our sausage rolls are an absolute embarrassment. Supermarkets predictably are the worst -- gristly flavourless meat in anaemic half-baked pastry. Same goes for pasties.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 150d (1 reply)

You can get everything you listed in the US relatively easily

supamanc@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

And you can get pretty much any cusine in the world, at Michelin star quality, somewhere in the UK. What's your point?

saltesc@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 150d (1 reply)

I love English food. All of the British Isles do pub food to die for, especially in colder weather.

starlinguk@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 150d

Sticky toffee pudding is the king of desserts.

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 150d (2 replies)

I disagree

The best, most fun meal of my life was in England

Mantzy81@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Micky D's happy meal?

JillSteinsPuckeredAnus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

spotted dick

MurrayL@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

wow, what an original and well-conceived take

starlinguk@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

I lived there for 30 years, now live in Germany and by God if I see another Maultasche I will scream.

galoisghost@aussie.zone · 25 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Mate they’ve obviously boiled this long enough. All the colours gone

BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 150d

Mostly we just want to be sure it's dead.

Nighed@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 150d (3 replies)

Needs mushrooms still I think. Or fried tomatoes, or black pudding if you are feeling fancy.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 150d (2 replies)

The shit in a full English breakfast always seemed so random to me... Tomato? The fuck are you talking about?

SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 150d (1 reply)

And fried!?

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 150d

you're frying most of the rest, might as well chuck it on

raef@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 150d

The egg will be powder if it gets any more

dustyData@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 150d (2 replies)

I think the picture is also intentionally heavily de-saturated. It's food already somewhat bland in colors, but if you further remove colors from the picture it looks even sadder.

egrets@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 150d (1 reply)

I'm not sure any amount of image correction will make those sausages less criminal.

dustyData@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

At least it reveals that the bacon looks tasty, though the egg is burnt.

blackn1ght@feddit.uk · 56 pts · 150d (5 replies)

I'm convinved that this post is some kind of bait.

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 150d (4 replies)

Some yank who hasn't left their state, let alone understand how to apply for a passport

Steve@startrek.website · -1 pts · 150d (3 replies)

Funny thing to say when the british believe this food looks good

blackn1ght@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 150d

Trust me, we think this looks terrible.

cynar@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 149d

As a Brit, If I got this in a greasy cafe, i would send it back. Fellow Brits will attest how bad it has to be for THAT to happen.

This is an abomination of a fry up.

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 149d

Shouldn't you be celebrating how the slaughter of children in schools means you're free?

cobn@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 40 pts · 150d

Even the bread was boiled to prevent browning.

CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de · 35 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Man the energy crisis has hit UK hard; they’re only half toasting their toast and parcooking their food.

Corngood@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 150d

It looks like they used the egg to protect the rest of the food from the heat.

Mantzy81@aussie.zone · 26 pts · 150d (2 replies)

Maillard would be very upset with the lack of caramalisation and browning on any of this supposedly fried food.

Routhinator@startrek.website · 3 pts · 150d

Was coming to say this.. This is considered cooked?

Even the toast is underdone

SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 150d

So would Gordon Ramsay

Auster@thebrainbin.org · 25 pts · 150d (1 reply)

BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

You just had to get political didn't you?

Frog is wearing a Lego hat, part number 4520723 usually used for Lego Indiana Jones sets.

Yes I'm autistic thanks for asking

Codpiece@feddit.uk · 25 pts · 150d

I mean that’s the literal raw ingredients yeah.

resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe · 19 pts · 150d

Cooked with a withering glare.

Skrapz101@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 150d (1 reply)

That looks so undercooked, where's the tomatoes, mushrooms, black pudding and hash browns?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 11 pts · 150d

By the look of that egg, it seems to have taken all the heat for itself, leaving the other protiens in the cold.

Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe · 17 pts · 150d (2 replies)

Did you microwave that 🤢

fallaciousBasis@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 149d

It's fucking raw.

SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 149d

I've seen more browning from a microwave. This atrocity was intentional

joe_archer@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 150d

The mere fact there are 3 "sausages" but only one rasher of bacon tells me this person has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 150d

The cuisine of England led their people to become the best sailors in the world.

fox2263@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 150d

It really isn’t. Please do not

finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 149d

Have you thought of cooking it?

kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 150d

When you add beans to the plate for some color...

mika_mika@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 150d

I'm offended and grossed, but I upvoted because that's about right.

a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 149d

Is it so pale because of the lack of sun?

kreskin@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 149d

everything on that plate looks like it should be boiled for a little bit longer.

Toribor@corndog.social · 11 pts · 148d

This looks like someone was afraid they might accidentally cook something.

WandowsVista@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 149d

are they aware that the great war has ended?

jobbies@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 149d

Does it fuck. We'd at least cook it first.

chattre@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 149d (1 reply)

ragebait? I'm not even British this food just looks like it was intentionally cooked in the worst ways possible

redhorsejacket@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 149d

Ah, so you're familiar with British culinary principles then..

pastermil@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 150d (5 replies)

All these centuries of robbing countries of their spices and this is the best you can come up with???

neo2478@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 150d

They didn't dip into their own supply, and instead got us fools addicted to flavor

starlinguk@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Curry ring a bell? Chicken tikka? Ginger snaps? Christmas pudding?

pastermil@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 149d

Curry? You mean the Indian food?

Also, are people supposed to live off just cakes?

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Britons still eat like they're trying to survive the Blitz

starlinguk@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

They actually ate really well during the Blitz. They were encouraged to.

rangber@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 150d

The sausages:

PragmaticOne@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 149d

Hahaha in your house maybe :D

tiramichu@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 150d

No no no no no

Psaldorn@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 150d (3 replies)

Ah yes, boiled sausages, my favourite.

Sxan@piefed.zip · 4 pts · 150d

Some day, you should try Weißwurst. It's always boiled, and it's incredible.

Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 150d

Ay, yes, boiled toast, my favorite.

Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 150d

That's from the chippy.

BigDiction@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 150d

Take the egg off the plate (probably best to fry a new one)

Throw the whole plate under a high broiler for 2 minutes

Return the egg

Qzr@programming.dev · 6 pts · 150d

Looks like the weather there...

SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 149d (1 reply)

Ugh wtt why is it all so pale

Karjalan@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 149d

Cause there's fuck all sun in Britain

VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 149d

assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 149d

Deep boiled English breakfast

SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 149d (2 replies)

Where's the fried bread, where's the buttered toast, where's the fried tomatoes, where's the rest of the bacon, why are the sausages raw? For some, the black pudding and hash-browns seem to be missing.

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 149d (1 reply)

for some

oi oi oi whutz goin on ere then

SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 147d

Black pudding - or blood sausage as the Germans call it - is the most disgusting thing I've ever had the misfortune of tasting. I consider hash-browns as something septics eat and less so the British, although they do taste good.

smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 150d (1 reply)

They must hate Maillard.

psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 150d

Dude react to everything.

desiccated_event@piefed.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 150d

If i were as hammered as I am, I might find this appealing. Just saying.

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 150d (3 replies)

Based on how well cooked everything else is on this plate, that tea hasn't got enough milk in it

blackfire@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 150d (2 replies)

Looks like it was cooked with sunlight

AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

Sun tea is a thing. It's quite good when made properly

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 150d

I'll let you into a little secret

::: spoiler spoiler /s :::

melancholia@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 149d

Yikes!

HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 150d (3 replies)

Looks tasty. Ever put hot sauce on the egg?

starlinguk@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Brown sauce.

This breakfast looks ridiculously anemic. I've never seen an English breakfast that looked so sad.

Obi@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 150d

Yeah I love a good full English but this ain't it..

CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 150d

I recently discovered garlic chili crisp on eggs and I have been missing out.

texture@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 149d

im hiding this post in hopes that i never have to look at it again

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 4 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Wait you don't put the beans on the toast?

Mantzy81@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 150d

Different meal. For breakfast, the beans are on the plate. For dinner, it's just beans on toast. Breakfast, the toast is essentially a side dish. Sometime it's fried too. You don't want beans on fried bread.

Avicenna@programming.dev · 2 pts · 149d

Mmm raw sausages and bacon, an essential part of every British breakfast

TTimo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 150d

I like it tbh

Fleur_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 148d

British people will only complain that there isn't enough

NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io · 2 pts · 150d

Deliberately ignoring the elephant in the room, isn't that a lot of protein (and especially meat) for a breakfast?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 1 pts · 150d
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binarytobis@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 149d (2 replies)

Great British Bake-Off gave me unrealistic expectations for British food. Recently I went to a British branded restaurant near me, and ordered a decent shepard’s pie and the world’s worst apple pie.

It was a sphere of what seemed to be Wonder Bread smothered in totally flavorless custard, filled with soggy apple slices containing no flavor that were extraordinarily grainy. No sweetness or saltiness or tart apple flavor or even texture other than the graininess. One of the saddest things I’ve ever eaten.

I don’t think it was a good representation of British food because I’ve been to London before and done the rounds, but it fit the memes perfectly.

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 149d

British branded restaurant

Just like McDonalds is the best and only representation of American cuisine?

jobbies@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 149d

Cool story bro

kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

Soo what do we see in this picture? What looks like a white european's dick cut in half, some part of his bladder, with a splash of vomit and industrial bread.

Oh, and the egg

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d (3 replies)

No, it's not

Yanks like to shit on food from the UK, but that's because they're stupid and insecure

I've had amazing food all over the world, including the UK and US.

I've dined at Heston Blumenthal's restaurants and been blown away, and eaten at Michelin started places in New York City that were hugely disappointing

The cheap shots from 'Muricans are only second in frequency to the shots killing children in their schools because they think owning firearms makes their dicks less shrivelled and pathetic because they cut the most sensitive part off

Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 150d

I mean it's a pretty offensively bad example of an English breakfast but I feel like you could probably chill out a bit mate, holy shit.

NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net · 7 pts · 150d

You're really hung up on other people's sausages aren't you?

Like I'm a brit, but what the fuck does bringing up human rights violations have to do with a breakfast shitpost.

Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

"Yanks like to shit on food from the UK"

Buddy it's not just the Yanks.

hakase@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 150d

Yum!

IWW4@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 150d
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ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 149d
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varnia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Can confirm. Stayed in England for a few days ago. Why don't you like some cheese - when else would you eat Cheddar if not for breakfast?

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 150d

For elevenses of course

fallaciousBasis@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 149d

that's fucking raw! You're going to kill somebody!

-the Internet