I honestly don't know how the onion is still in business when you have to try this hard to come up with something that actually feels satirical instead of just another normal headline in a sea of the unimaginable
I didn't apologize because I didn't harm them. I asked if they were serious. Whatever harm you think happened is unrelated to my comment.
I said it was "unfortunate" because, by the ratio of '1 initial upvote:entirely downvotes' they already had when I made my comment, other people had been confused like me and had just silently downvoted them.
Yes, it was the victim's fault that you shot them because they were not wearing it. Don't shoot me vest. Clearly you thought they were an armed gunman we get that but you know context matters. You are on a shooting range.
"Shot them". I asked if they were serious. Why are you pretending I've harmed someone by not understanding? I didn't even downvote him, as immaterial as that is. And it wasn't even like I insulted him in the process of asking.
To fix your hit piece: it's like I saw someone with a gun and asked "what are you doing with that gun?". And then someone pointed out we were at a gun range.
"Socialist NYC Mayor sets highest rate of subway fares for regular Americans while providing subsidies for criminals to come to your neighborhood" /Fox news
Jokes aside, I'm with you my dude, I just want people who aren't psychopaths running things, it shouldn't be that hard and New York has proven that you can have not just a mediocre leader, but an actual good one...
Clearly he's antagonizing hard workers by supporting lazy parasites that do nothing but take social support money and spend it on alcohol. This is how America dies. /s
It's dumb but it's an existing 50% discount program he's just increasing the income limit. Probably the best thing about this is drawing attention to the program since most of the people eligible don't know it exists.
Thanks. That's definitely better than I thought. That it was existing I mean. Doing all the infra required to add a means tested program did not sound like a Mamdani style policy. But just making it a less strict means test is a step in the right direction. Just better quality of life changes over and over from Mamdani. He's really selling sewer socialism well to New York.
I don't even think the talking heads have to do much editorializing before printing this one, much like they didn't do anything but post the word-for-word DSA platform in that viral photo of their anchor pointing at it incredulously.
Their target audience already see this is as a clearly bad decision in that it benefits many poor(er) people at the expense of some rich(er) people; that's political suicide for the American Right in 2026.
its the same in the west coast. low income, older people get thier monthly fees half off(must show ID and income plus your pic is going to be on the bus card). but fees for in-city and ouer city transport as risen though for non low income people.
Well it depends how it was done. Was it done by subsidising the ticket prices of low income earners with tax dollars? Or did the prices just halve because they chose to charge half as much? Where will the lost tax revenue be made up?
106 Comments
BloodMuffin@lemmy.ca · 182 pts · 46d
desiccated_event@piefed.blahaj.zone · 62 pts · 46d
I hate you and love you all at once. /s?
BloodMuffin@lemmy.ca · 30 pts · 46d
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 46d
It's not too late to be a satirest. Practically the same skillset
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 44d
Satire dies when reality becomes this crazy.
I honestly don't know how the onion is still in business when you have to try this hard to come up with something that actually feels satirical instead of just another normal headline in a sea of the unimaginable
mastod0n@lemmy.world · 111 pts · 46d
"Antifa Mamdani spends New Yorkers' tax payer money to transport illegal and homeless people to work at abortion clinics"
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 46d
sounds awesome
bajabound@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 46d
Made possible by viewers like you, the SPLC, and the George Soros Foundation for anti-american activities.
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 46d
Dang. That's the one thing I feared the most.
Leather@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 46d
Oh Dayum Tucker, did you and Banon come up with that together?
mastod0n@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
I nearly puked but I managed myself ;)
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 94 pts · 46d
Democrat/Muslim mayor of NYC claims to cut spending for transit, but is it really helping everyone?
Syndication@lemmy.today · 44 pts · 46d
red_tomato@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 46d
This is bad news for the already struggling millionaires in New York.
huppakee@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 46d
OR: Democrat/Muslim mayor of NYC claims to cut spending for transit, but does it decrease congestion?
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 5 pts · 46d
As a German that is included in "everyone": definitely not!
I appreciate it anyways, go go Mr M!
carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 46d
OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works · 68 pts · 46d
Mamdani is inviting the homeless to stay on the subway for a reduced cost while normal people pay the price.
Leather@lemmy.world · 65 pts · 46d
I think people are missing your solid Fox News headline.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 46d
Ooo, now you're working for Sky News. This is the take the magas will use.
Mataresian@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 46d
Ooh no he is inviting those to homeless shelters instead. https://www.nyc.gov/mayors-office/news/2026/02/mayor-mamdani-announces-opening-of-new-safe-haven-shelter-in-low
skisnow@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 46d
qarbone@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 46d
You serious?
OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works · 47 pts · 46d
This whole comment section is dedicated to suggested Fox News headlines. So no, I am not serious.
Slovene85@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 46d
Surely you are serious?
ErmahgherdDavid@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 46d
I'm not serious and don't call me Shirley!
Magnum@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 46d
But like you do really mean it, no?
ThirdConsul@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 46d
Don't call me Shirley :)
sober_monk@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 46d
The title of the post is "Give me that Fox News spin"...
qarbone@lemmy.world · -7 pts · 46d
Ah...
That's unfortunate. The situation was not helped by lack of scaffolding, i.e., no quotation marks, quote formatting, or "false" attribution.
flying_sheep@lemmy.ml · 14 pts · 46d
You mean “sorry, I completely missed that”
qarbone@lemmy.world · -8 pts · 46d
I didn't apologize because I didn't harm them. I asked if they were serious. Whatever harm you think happened is unrelated to my comment.
I said it was "unfortunate" because, by the ratio of '1 initial upvote:entirely downvotes' they already had when I made my comment, other people had been confused like me and had just silently downvoted them.
Forester@pawb.social · 1 pts · 46d
Yes, it was the victim's fault that you shot them because they were not wearing it. Don't shoot me vest. Clearly you thought they were an armed gunman we get that but you know context matters. You are on a shooting range.
qarbone@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 46d
"Shot them". I asked if they were serious. Why are you pretending I've harmed someone by not understanding? I didn't even downvote him, as immaterial as that is. And it wasn't even like I insulted him in the process of asking.
To fix your hit piece: it's like I saw someone with a gun and asked "what are you doing with that gun?". And then someone pointed out we were at a gun range.
cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 46d
This just in:
Subway Revenue Down 50% Since Mamdani Took Office
chaogomu@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 46d
^^*actual ^^revenue ^^increased ^^due ^^to ^^increased ^^ridership ^^and ^^simple ^^anti-corruption ^^efforts ^^in ^^contracting.
Edit; Formatting is hard, and I'm giving up on the joke. Fox would never admit to such truths even in a subscript at the bottom of an article.
JayDee@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 46d
^*actual^ ^revenue^ ^increased^ ^due^ ^to^ ^increased^ ^ridership^ ^and^ ^simple^ ^anti-corruption^ ^efforts^ ^in^ ^contracting.^
Was this the aim? Just do ^this^ for every word.
WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 46d
The escape character turned your markdown to html
JayDee@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 46d
I've checked on voyager and fennec browser. It looks correct on both. Which app are you viewing it on?
WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 46d
Jerboa
JayDee@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
Interesting issue. Jerboa might be having issues with superscript markdown. Does ^this^ show up correct?
Voyager
Fennec
WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 46d
Yep. Original comment looked good in browser too (as you've stated.) epsom *isopropyl* ^methyl^ ethyl
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
Not much. 'sup wit u?
cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 46d
^*I think for superscript on long sentences you just put one carrot at the beginning and end of your sentence like so.^
Subscript uses a tilde at the beginning and end of the sentenceglibg10b@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 46d
🥕Is it working?🥕
matlag@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 45d
Maybe with some fine tuning: "NYC Subway at risk of bankrupcy as Mamdani slashes its revenues!"
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 50 pts · 46d
Z745812939054@lemmy.zip · 45 pts · 46d
fox news spin: "woke communist so-called 'mayor' declares war on middle and upper class. also eats christian babies"
iknewitwhenisawit@fedinsfw.app · 6 pts · 46d
That's a bit more like the New York Post. 😉
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 46d
I could definitely see “Mamdani wants to make doctors pay more for transit” or something
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 46d
"Socialist NYC Mayor sets highest rate of subway fares for regular Americans while providing subsidies for criminals to come to your neighborhood" /Fox news
Rakonat@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 46d
And the republicans said he couldn't govern.
rmrf@lemmy.ml · 38 pts · 46d
It's like reading KDE feature updates as a hyprland elitist. Doesn't affect me directly, but still stoked at what's new
auzy1@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 46d
I think you just confused the MAGA politicians. You might end up on a watchlist
mlg@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 46d
He's been added to the potential furry and/or thigh sock and thigh sock accessories enthusiasts list.
auzy1@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 46d
I'm sick at the moment with the flu. So, those knee high socks sound good. As well as a furry stume
locahosr443@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 46d
I'm currently a KDE elitist, how do I upgrade my subscription?
Also will I need to transition?
rmrf@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 45d
You either have to transition or forego any social life
Canconda@lemmy.ca · 34 pts · 46d
"Muslim Mayor defunds public transit"
Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 46d
"When will Muslim mayor think of the hard working rich?"
OR
"Mamdani declares war on on capitalism!"
vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 30 pts · 46d
This is bad for some reason
lobut@lemmy.ca · 20 pts · 46d
It obviously incentivizes you to be poor because you get all these benefits! /s
mal3oon@lemmy.world · -9 pts · 46d
vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 46d
Holy racism batman
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 26 pts · 46d
Wait, people think this is a bad thing? Guess I'm too Canadian to understand the reasoning.
orenj@leminal.space · 27 pts · 46d
You're not supposed to help the poors, they're supposed to wrack themselves in debt buying and maintaining a car instead
Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 46d
The reason why its bad is those awful poors might show the rest of us how if you help people they prosper.
matlag@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 45d
If the poor can have a decent life, they won't make any effort to become rich, and the US will crumble.
Well, they mean crumble even faster than now!
starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 45d
He has such an electable face. I wish I could vote for him
jamesrandysghost@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 45d
He smiles with his whole face, it's like the polar opposite of the ghouls who's smile never touches their eyes.
I know that kind of thing can be faked, but Mamdani just seems so fucking happy that he actually gets to help people.
I fear for him.
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 46d
Wow, what an asshole for helping other human beings. This fucking guy!
mrodri89@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 45d
jamesrandysghost@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 45d
Be the Mamdani you want up see in the world!
Jokes aside, I'm with you my dude, I just want people who aren't psychopaths running things, it shouldn't be that hard and New York has proven that you can have not just a mediocre leader, but an actual good one...
SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 46d
"Mamdani cut tickets in half, like a magician cuts people in half. Do you want a homicidal wizard running your city?"
This good?
I can see Jesse Waters saying this
It doesn't have to make sense
sirico@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 45d
Watch this cut fare jumpers better than any 12ft barrier
DupaCycki@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 46d
Clearly he's antagonizing hard workers by supporting lazy parasites that do nothing but take social support money and spend it on alcohol. This is how America dies. /s
wheezy@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 46d
Gonna be honest, this is the worst best thing I've heard him do.
Income based means testing policy is awful. I'd have to read more on how it's being implemented. Hopefully just a step towards free transit.
gibmiser@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 46d
Easy. Im not sure how they did it, but they can just piggyback it off something else like food stamps.
So it could be - All riders who present an EBT card with their legal name on it are eligible for half price.
Is it perfect? No, but it's a damn good and easy step in the right direction.
yogurt@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 46d
It's dumb but it's an existing 50% discount program he's just increasing the income limit. Probably the best thing about this is drawing attention to the program since most of the people eligible don't know it exists.
wheezy@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 46d
Thanks. That's definitely better than I thought. That it was existing I mean. Doing all the infra required to add a means tested program did not sound like a Mamdani style policy. But just making it a less strict means test is a step in the right direction. Just better quality of life changes over and over from Mamdani. He's really selling sewer socialism well to New York.
lefaucet@slrpnk.net · 10 pts · 46d
Can't stop (can't stop), can't stop the beat I won't stop (won't stop), won't stop the beat, and go!!!
Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 46d
Why do people need to ride the subway? Why aren't they driving like reel Americans?
bookmeat@fedinsfw.app · 9 pts · 46d
I like how even the articles that try to put a negative spin on his work always show a photo of him smiling.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 46d
It's actually sorta difficult to find a picture of him where he's not talking or smiling. I found this one, and he's kind of unrecognizable:
Leviathan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 46d
He looks like he's tired of someone's shit.
VAK@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 46d
Looks AI generated
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 46d
Only because him not smiling is so unnatural. It's real.
VAK@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
I was joking. Damn, really need to start being explicit
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 45d
Everything is accused of being AI nowadays, so it's definitely hard to tell whether saying so is a joke or not without making it really obvious.
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 46d
This is not a negative article it's from an account called "democrats deliver"
fox2263@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 45d
THIS IS RACISM AND SEGREGATION. TWO TIER FARES
and other attempts at framing it as bad
HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 45d
I don't even think the talking heads have to do much editorializing before printing this one, much like they didn't do anything but post the word-for-word DSA platform in that viral photo of their anchor pointing at it incredulously.
Their target audience already see this is as a clearly bad decision in that it benefits many poor(er) people at the expense of some rich(er) people; that's political suicide for the American Right in 2026.
one_old_coder@piefed.social · 6 pts · 46d
Muslim mayor wants to encourage poor people to take the subway. Is he planning future bombings in order to get rid of them?
Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
This is a really good fox news take except most faux news zombies want to kill the poor.
snoons@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 45d
I want a Zohran Mamdani for my city ;-;
adarza@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 46d
socialist mayor lures poor new yorkers into citywide surveillance network with cheap transit passes.
Klear@piefed.world · 4 pts · 46d
What a Mamd lad!
BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
So, it looks like you can have unlimited travel around New York City for ~$75-150/month.
I'm not too sure if this reflects the change or not (hence the range). https://www.mta.info/fares-tolls/subway-bus
Honestly, that seems like a good deal to me. I don't live any place w/ public transportation.
UpAndAtThem@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
Socialism! Communism! ReeeEEEeeeEe!!!!! Wait, now the kids like socialism and communism? How did that happen?!?!??
Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 45d
"NY subway set to lose billions of tax dollars
overthreehundredyears, Elon proposes new loop!"Luisp@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 46d
Can he be the Mayor of Buenos Aires instead of the fucking macris?
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 45d
its the same in the west coast. low income, older people get thier monthly fees half off(must show ID and income plus your pic is going to be on the bus card). but fees for in-city and ouer city transport as risen though for non low income people.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 46d
Low-income people who can live amidst that rental jungle? That seems to be a very slim section of the population.
DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 10 pts · 46d
There are a lot of low income projects in New York. Rent controlled apartments and rent stabilized apartments as well.
City is full of retirees and people who are disabled and depend on mass transit because they can't drive.
Moreover, not all of the city is Manhattan.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 2 pts · 46d
Even if they can't live in the city, low-income people might want to visit the city, or commute there for work.
wiLD0@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 46d
Socialist NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani Gives Even More Handouts to Blacks and Immigrants
aceshigh@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 46d
This is already a thing isn’t it?
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 46d
"Lunatic brown person defies dress code by riding subway in his underwear!"
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 46d
This is awful, now those poor people need to tape their tickets back together!
hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 45d
Underground Apartheid!
GoatSynagogue@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 46d
Well it depends how it was done. Was it done by subsidising the ticket prices of low income earners with tax dollars? Or did the prices just halve because they chose to charge half as much? Where will the lost tax revenue be made up?