Two kitchens, that's what's needed. Two whole kitchens next to each other, then you can cook together.
Don't fucking tell me how to chop onions, I've been chopping onions my whole life. I don't care what you saw on YouTube. And, yes, I just cracked an egg on the edge of the bowl, do you SEE any shell in the egg? No. Because I've been cracking eggs that way longer than you've been alive. Go grind sea salt, or something, leave me alone.
Don't fucking tell me how to chop onions, I've been chopping onions my whole life. I don't care what you saw on YouTube. And, yes, I just cracked an egg on the edge of the bowl, do you SEE any shell in the egg? No. Because I've been cracking eggs that way longer than you've been alive. Go grind sea salt, or something, leave me alone.
That's a toxic spouse. I'm guessing the criticism reaches beyond cooking technique.
Crack your eggs on a flat surface, and they’ll split cleanly around the equator. Crack them on the edge of the bowl if you want to blast a hole in one spot and end up with shell in your eggs half of the time.
That's how it works on paper, but in reality, 98% of the time the membrane holds the shell together, and there's no problem. The other two percent of the time, I just pick the eggshell out, easy-peasy. No one cracked their eggs this way until some TV cook showed it, and people who never cooked decided it was superior and different and good. People who've been cooking with eggs for decades don't bother with this, because it's a non-issue.
I used to do it on side of the bowl, then switched later, so have years of experience with both. I don’t remember where I learned it, but it definitely helps.
My wife and I have both worked in a kitchen, when we are both in the kitchen it works really well, but there are discrete tasks and we don't hoverr over each other or any of that shit. And we call behind and turn pot handles in and put towels on hot handles and keep knife blades turned down. All the little things.
You ever find yourself saying that shit in a store? Can't tell you how many times I almost barked behind into some old woman's ear on accident. I've never done it, but I've been close.
I'm thinking of bailing on the industry. Full of fools full of themselves and half baked chefs. Hours suck, workload is sometimes stupid and you either work at a decent place with dicks and assholes or a shitty place with decent people. Or somewhere in between. No winning.
I'll be honest though fuck construction dunno how you made the switch, good on you.
Last I checked, everywhere is looking for tradesmen. It pays better than a kitchen but the conditions can suck a lot worse. And its infested with some of the stupidest motherfuckers I have ever met. Some of the very smartest to. Pick your poison.
There's a school near where I live called Williamson College of the Trades which offers three-year courses in Carpentry, Electrical, Landscape Management, Machine Tools, Masonry and Power Plant work. Cost is $140 per year (not a typo) since all students get scholarships to cover the normal tuition. I squandered my youth on a liberal arts education long ago, but if I were starting out today this is the place I would try to get into. Somehow, they still have to recruit to get enough people to fill their available positions.
My brother is a chef with similar gripes about the industry. He finally found a job running the kitchen for a retirement community. Set salary, full benefits (including four weeks of vacation), and he's home by 8 o'clock every night. He's been there four or five years now, and he wouldn't dream of leaving.
I'm an avid bicyclist, and I constantly find myself in stores saying "on your left" when I walk past people. I'm sure people are confused, but then it seems like nobody knows what that means on a bike path, either.
Bullshit, I love it when my partner hangs around the kitchen while I cook. We get into all sorts of silly discussions or deep philosophical debates.
I especially love when my child is in the kitchen because I have the chance to teach them new things, or they tell me about their day, or vent their frustrations, or tell me a cheesy joke ect.
Only grumpy assholes wouldn't want other people in the kitchen and frankly I don't care what grumpy assholes want.
I have a tiny "one-butt kitchen" and I would also be uncomfortable using a sharp knife with anyone crowded over me as close as in the picture. But I love(d) cooking with my kids even if we had to spill over into the rest of the apartment, and now when they visit I "sous-chef" by washing and prepping the vegetables ahead of time, making sure they start with all clean dishes and an empty dishwasher to put the used ones in, and making delighted noises about how much more beautiful their dumplings are than mine, that kind of thing. And later I rearrange the dishwasher to my liking/best efficiency, because it's only when you have all the dishes that you can really determine the best arrangement.
Oh my God! One of my absolute fucking FAVORITE things my son does is he really wants to help me cook. It's absolutely fucking adorable. He just turned 6 so there's not a lot that he can manage on his own yet for actual on the stove cooking, but I let him stir certain things, help me pour certain ingredients, stuff like that and he's always so proud.
My wife and I did "date night" ever other Thursday. One of our rules was that if we decided to stay in and cook, we had to do it together. I really liked those nights, but our kitchen was fairly good size. Like you said, it's a nice situation for just chatting. It's like being on a short road trip.
A lot of people are just control freaks about their living space and they can't stand someone doing something differently than they'd do it. My mom was one of them for sure. She was also a shitty cook.
I'm not a control freak and I find it really hard to be around people who are, and goddamn there are a lot of them out there.
I'd just like to find someone who actually cooks. Everyone I date thinks cooking is gross and basically lives off those meal box services. I haven't met anyone who likes to cooks in over a decade.
My mom was a control freak in the kitchen, and now I hate cooking. Every time I make anything more complex than a very simple pasta, I'm subconsciously growing more and more tense because I'm just waiting for someone to yell at me.
it's given me a aversion to very clean spaces, and a lot of comfort in spaces that are dirty and 'lived in', and when i go to someone's house and it looks like it's from a magazine photo and there isn't a spec of dust my skin crawls.
My SO has the uncanny ability to always stand where I'm immediately about to go and is otherwise somehow always in the way when I'm cooking so they are banned from the space for the sake of our relationship and their safety.
look before you turn and stop rushing to do stuff.
My kitchen is tiny and I never have this problem, but I also know how to share space and I have worked in a kitchen with 20 other people before. It's easy if you're not a dick who thinks other people are 'in your way'.
You essentially have no clue about our relationship or the dynamics so are making some frankly wild assumptions with little to go on. I'll make one last good faith attempt to get the point across.
I too have worked in restaurant kitchens with no issue. I've shared the kitchen with many friends (my place and theirs) also with no issue. This is specifically just one person who has demonstrated it's better for everyone if they just steer clear. I love them to death but they have little self-awareness especially when holding a conversion and don't cook, so inadvertently put themselves or others in harm's way because they can't anticipate what might cause an issue. Think things like standing immediately behind someone without letting them know, opening drawers behind them (again without warning), standing in front of the sink as they go to drain a pot of pasta, bending down directly behind someone to get something out of the cabinet, etc. Just generally not making their presence known combined with an almost supernatural ability to be in the worst places at the worst times.
Maybe a kitchen analogy would help: Imagine you're carrying a large full pot across the line and call out "hot behind" and as you are walking a server (who is on the line to have a look) suddenly turns and crouches down to grab something from a lower cooler right as you're about to pass them. This pot is heavy and has lots of inertia so you have a hard time stopping in time to prevent you or your coworker getting burned. Now imagine they do something similar almost every time you are making a critical or dangerous move; you're being a dick in this situation? You're impatient for all the close calls? Or will you wonder: they aren't even cooking so why are they on the line at all?
lol. or you could just not be an ass to your wife.
blows my mind people on here will go into vivid detail to justify their weird and bad takes, rather than just chill out and be like 'maybe it's not all about me'
I assure you, my current gf is like master chef and my notably “cute” dishes are demanded because she loves just helping. “Yes chef” is said frequently to a point where we’re just giggling, but i know it turns her on so I let her do it.
Not just partners but really anyone it's easy if you establish who is the head chef and who is the sous-chef(s).
I'm happy to cook with as many sous-chefs as we can cram into the kitchen. Heck I'll put someone on a grill outside if I get too many. An extra two sous-chefs? Sounds like we're about to have two extra side dishes. Maybe a pie. Now the dishes are washed before we're done. Now they're dried and put away! I can find more tasks! Floors swept, counters wiped, I can find tasks for a small contingent of sous-chefs! Mad with power.
And same in reverse, there's something so hypnotic about just being the sous-chef. YES CHEF. Cut the veggies smaller YES CHEF. Just go with the flow. Ahhh
I disagree. I love cooking with my wife, because we distribute the tasks and I enjoy her company. Those of you, who have issues with stuff like that might need to work on your cooperation skills.
Same here. Only times we have gotten annoyed or even angry, has been when there has been other issues underlying, like being annoyed at something they have done etc.. Normally both cut veggies, other starts to cook and add spices while other cuts the last things, then cleaning while the stuff cooks. Works well and so much faster.
Nah, cooking with my wife is great. And it's best when neither of us necessarily has to delegate tasks. Figuring out which tasks need to be done and and which order can sometimes be a huge cognitive load! That's why if you ask someone what can you do to help they might get mad, you've asked them to take on the mental load of how to make you useful.
Instead a much better approach is too look at what they are doing and think for yourself what needs to be done! Uncut veggies that need to be chopped, ask if they want you to chop the veggies. Dishes piling up in the sink? Ask them if they want you to clean the dishes. Are they making something that needs boiling water, like pasta or potatoes? Go ahead and get a pot of water boiling. It's much better for someone helping to not just complete the task, but to identify it too.
With my partner we often swap between different styles, if it's something she wants, she's in charge but I still try to find ways to help without her asking to do it. Other times the roles are reversed and she's helping me. For big events like Thanksgiving, we are both overwhelmed and will often know what needs to be done and just do it, no one's in charge, we are approaching this like a team.
If your partner never wants you in the kitchen, it's probably because you're useless and have to be babied to handle the simplest of tasks. (Which is not always bad, not everyone can cook, but everyone should be able to do dishes!) Or in a really small kitchen where there just isn't space.
But the same is true if you are a guest, my friends have gotten pretty good at seeing what needs doing and will just do it! Helping with the dishes, setting the table, making cocktails, etc. Making themselves useful without adding to someone's cognitive load that is hosting people or making a meal. However it is very frustrating when a guest who is not familiar asks how they can help, they don't know where anything belongs, so they cannot effectively complete any tasks without being micromanaged, including dishes, because some things can't go in the dishwasher and they won't know what those are! The best things guest can do in these scenarios is usually to bring already made items, like drinks, or prepare them ahead of time, or only need widely available appliances to finish, like 10 minutes in an oven to brown a casserole.
It all depends on the people. Like if I have an overall plan for what I'm making, someone coming in and trying to fill in the blanks themselves to help might just frustrate me because it's either not in the plan or requires modifications to the plan.
Like with chopping, for some things the style doesn't matter but for others, it's important and I wouldn't be happy if someone chopped the carrots instead of shaving them or something like that.
Or for putting a pot of water on to boil, I like to do all prep first before the cooking because I found that the quality improves a lot if I can put my full attention on the timing rather than juggling finishing prep and cooking at the same time (not to mention things that need to be stirred to avoid burning and the like). Putting a pot on early will end up rushing me.
I don't get bent out of shape from any of this, but whether you should ask where to help or just jump in where you think it's needed depends on the person.
Edit: lol just noticed that you had a similar exchange with someone who posted a comment more along my mindset lower down in these same comments.
Definitely it's gonna vary by person, by a lot of it is about approach.
It's still always going to be better to ask someone if they want you to complete a specific task, rather than what you can do to help.
This also probably varies by culture as some people are not comfortable saying no to offers of help, even if they don't want it.
Everyone is different, and everyone has different experiences, so definitely be mindful of all of these things in how you approach this.
That being said, many American men in particular seem to be guilty of this lack of thought, thinking they are be useful by offering help but not realizing that managing them is its own task. Or worse, and and not offering help at all, and defending it by saying things like "well you never asked for help".
You make a good point about taking on the cognitive load when offering help. I would only add that care should be taken when offering to wash dishes. Partly because it could be perceived as a criticism of the dirty dishes piling up, and partly because some people are very particular about how they get washed or loaded into the dishwasher. So use your good judgement and experience with them to phrase the offer nicely.
I love cooking with a group of people for a just that group or an even larger group. My fav. neighborhood restaurant, I often sit at a table adjacent to the kitchen. ZOMG, it sure sounds like they are having a great time, laughing, singing, srsly.
my gf's a chef and loves having me in the kitchen (or so she says) i stay at a station though to keep out of her way eg at breakfast I'm making espresso, cooking toast, heating something in the microwave for her etc she has the stove/sink/fridge/bench area
95% of our meals are at home because she is particular about her food ( and she's good at it IMO)
Ya! You gotta be conscious about the space you're using. If you're going in for cuddles when I'm working the stove.... However if you're in the wings helping out with the myriad of tasks required to get a meal plated? That's when you get the chefs kiss!
I cook and my girl does the dishes because I’m terrible at dish management and when I’m done there’s dishes everywhere. Our system works well for us. She gets good food and I don’t have to do dishes. Win win.
This is the system we use. I cook every few days with big portions of leftovers.. She does the dishes, she says that I don't load the dishwasher efficiently.
Only use ours on Holidays. I clean as I cook so by the time we eat there's only the dishes left and that's 3 .. costs me zero in electric and I know if they've been cleaned or not.
I’ve lived without a dishwasher multiple times in my adult life. We actually just sold our house that had a decent sized kitchen and moved into a small apartment on the other side of the country and now the mess is even more concentrated and there’s no dishwasher. So our system is even more of a necessity now lol
Synergy! We do the same thing at our house, but I've gotten pretty good at minimizing the mess. One trick I use is serving everyone first, then using the same dish that held the cooked food as my own plate.
It’s more of an issue of using a lot of dishes to make the food 😅 there’s barely any dishes left to eat with when I’m done! Exaggerating, but sometimes there actually isn’t, I’m adhd af in the kitchen, but at least the food turns out good lol.
Everyone who actually cooks wants free help, they just want to decide what the other person does, and for that person to otherwise stay out of their way.
Someone's willing to peel / chop for me? Great! They're willing to get an early start on cleaning so I don't have lots of dirty dishes, knives, bowls, and pans cluttering things up? Awesome. Sometimes just a clean pair of hands to open a jar while my hands are goopy is amazing. I'll even accept someone giving a quick stir to something on the stove so it doesn't burn if I'm busy with something else.
But, for it to work, they have to know what they're doing. They have to know what not to do. They can't get in my way, they can't take over something I'm doing, or offer unsolicited suggestions. And, if they take over something I was doing / would have done, they have to do a good job of it.
I work well with my sister. If she's cooking, I'll ask if she needs help, and only do the things that she wants help with, staying out of her way otherwise. But, I hate when my mom is around because she'll do things like snack on the ingredients I'm using, or, even worse, add her own ingredients to something I'm making.
This is not quite universal! My wife in particular does not like assigning people on how to help her, as that is additional cognitive load on how to make someone useful to you, she much prefers people either stay out of her way, or help by just looking with their eyes and see what needs to be done.
Do agree they need to know what they are doing too, having someone who doesn't know how to chop veggies the way you like them and just start doing is definitely no good, but after sometime cooking with your partner you should know what needs doing and how to do it.
Is your wife nuerodivergent? I'm not seeing how communicating is a higher cognitive load than executing the task. It also sounds like you're describing coping skill for managing their behavior. Which is fine, of course but I'm not sure it's common behavior.
I love cooking with my partner. They get to focus on fancy techniques and flavor tweaks while I get to spend time with them chopping vegetables or whatever. It’s delightful.
If people stay on the other side of the counter, they can heckle me and tell me all the worst thing in the universe. But don't come in my 2 square meters of cramped space where I work.
They don't need the plate that bad, people will cut the cheese on the wrapper and be okay with that.
Yeah it really depends on the meal but having multiple sets of hands and working on different parts is 100% doable and fun. Does this person think restaurants have a single cook too??
Kneading dough is a one-person job. There is no need to bring an extra pair of hands into this. What kind of psychopath do you have to be to want someone to reach around you and touch the same dough you're already kneading. I think I'm gonna throw up.
I feel this one in my soul. I am not an expert cook, though I don't do too badly--but I do need to concentrate on the kitchen. People need to leave me the heck alone when I'm cooking or baking.
I don't cook well but I don't mind a partner helping. It's easy to delegate "cut this onion" or "wash these dishes". Maybe if I had higher food standards it would be a problem.
That's more to have a commi (I don't know what's the English word for it), like someone who does all the menial things per your orders than "cooking together" IMO.
I like having my husband sit at the counter while I cook, but he provides something to listen to. He does not help cook at all. I don't really want the guy with cerbral palsy to be dicing anything though. He does empty the dishwasher and fill it, as long as I've brought in the dishes from elsewhere in the house, he can't transport them that far.
I absolutely love to cook I've been cooking since I was a teenager when I worked in restaurants as I got older I ran a fine dining kitchen for a while. I absolutely love when I get to cook with other people in my kitchen. It's an absolute joy to share that moment sometimes it feels intimate sometimes it's just fun sometimes it's teaching them sometimes I get to learn things. Anyone that doesn't like to have other people cook with them is just odd to me.
my greatest creations while drunk involved frozen pizzas with added toppings. bake as usual. extra cheese, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes... w/e was available. occasionally passed out before the timer went off. slight smoke damage until it became charcoal. quit drinking but still like the pizzas;
If I am making something that requires a lot of steps or making multiple dishes, I don't mind a helper that actually helps and stays out of the way of what I'm doing while they do what they're doing.
Of course that also assumes I am in a kitchen with room. My apartment's kitchen wouldn't make a difference even if my helper was a clone of myself. Not enough room for a second person to not be in the way constantly.
My wife keeps telling me to play Overcooked with her but keeps getting upset in the game about everything, especially the rats and cockroaches 🤣. But yeah she also hates it when I'm in the kitchen when she is cooking even when i offer to help. When i cook she also doesn't want to be near me 🤷♂️
I think people are too insecure to accept being the prep chef or the heat chef. It cuts down on cook time if you can have someone chopping as you stir. I don’t need a second person manning the spatula or cutting, I need washed, prepped veggies or someone at the stove. If you’re uncertain whether something should be put away, just leave it. Simple as
If you’re reading this, you probably suck at delegation, you’re overly particular about how the other half is done, or your partner is inept. And that’s where the issue lies, figuring out where to improve.
Congratulations on being functional in the kitchen! Sounds like you guys recognize your capacities and work through them rather than ineffectually inserting yourselves into situations. Excellent skills to have!
Everyone gets a role, and communicate. I often do the veggie chopping because it's an undesirable task and I'd rather take the grunt work off my better half. I'm also a little faster at it.
But yea, we're constantly talking about where we are in a recipe, what's next, if there are any other timings to get right (sides, noodles, rice, etc).
My wife is fucking useless in the kitchen. I would absolutely love it if she even attempted to help in the kitchen. Typically she sits on her ass and doomscrolls while I do all the work. She's not a great cook, and for that reason, I do most of the cooking. There are still small things that you can do to help out like cutting veggies, finding spices, setting the table, etc. If she did those things, she might learn a thing or 2 about how to cook and improve her culinary skills. Also, whenever she cooks, she acts like the person in this meme wanting no help, and it comes out tasting like shit (too much oil, not enough seasoning and burnt to hell is her usual). If I try to help, she gets frustrated and quits leaving me to make the meal (which may be what she's trying to do anyway). So think about the other side of this coin OP.
This is my Ex Wife . She could burn water. My new wife is a delight in the kitchen so much so that I make weekend breakfasts with zero help and don't even feel slighted. It's a treat.
I have a blast making pizza with my son, but aside from that, everyone can clear the kitchen and let me cook in peace while I listen to some great music. That's my happy place!
For simple, tedious tasks, by all means. Let's sit in a circle around a pot snapping green beans, shucking corn husks, shelling peas/hard-boiled eggs, wrapping dumplings/tomales. Spread the work load, share in the quality time and conversation and contribute to a shared meal. Great.
If you want to get another cutting board and knife and help me peel, chop, and shred to prep some ingredients before the cooking has actually begun, I wouldn't be mad either... provided you can follow simple directions like how big your chopped potatoes should be... and provided you are not a threat to yourself and others with a knife like my wife.
But when I have 3 pots and pans on the stove, two sheets of roasting veggies in the oven that need tossed regularly and I'm trying to keep my eye on everything, time the cooking, prevent burning, etc., or I'm running in and out of the house between the counter, the grill and the sink... Get the hell out of my way. I love my wife, but she is no help in the kitchen.
Everybody I know knows to leave me alone in the kitchen unless I specificallyask for something. It's gotten to the point where I can honestly and literally tell people to "get the fuck out", without them feeling scorn. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It all started when I was prepping Christmas dinner for extended family, and when people were arriving they somehow thought it was OK to hang out in the kitchen just chitchatting while being in the way. I started giving them things to do, such as emptying the dishwasher, loading it, scrubbing a pan, etc, until they realized I was mostly giving them busy work as I ran out of tasks to delegate. "If you're hanging out in the kitchen, I'll assign you something to do. If you don't want something to do, get the fuck out!".
149 Comments
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 65 pts · 29d
Only if they're teaching.
Or, if you have a big enough kitchen.
And, maybe two stoves.
Two kitchens, that's what's needed. Two whole kitchens next to each other, then you can cook together.
Don't fucking tell me how to chop onions, I've been chopping onions my whole life. I don't care what you saw on YouTube. And, yes, I just cracked an egg on the edge of the bowl, do you SEE any shell in the egg? No. Because I've been cracking eggs that way longer than you've been alive. Go grind sea salt, or something, leave me alone.
BallShapedMan@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 29d
In some parts of Asia nice homes have two kitchens. A show kitchen and a used kitchen. Sometimes the used kitchen is outdoors.
blazeknave@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 29d
Rich people having extra shit they don't use is a global phenomenon
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 29d
Hey everyone, here's my show house!
Does anyone live in it?
No, it's the show house. You think we let poor people have housing?
EldestMalk@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
"summer home"
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 29d
That's a toxic spouse. I'm guessing the criticism reaches beyond cooking technique.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
I was joking, but I see now this isn't a meme community, so maybe I over stepped.
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 28d
👌
Blink twice if she's reading this over your shoulder.
starik@lemmy.today · -4 pts · 28d
Crack your eggs on a flat surface, and they’ll split cleanly around the equator. Crack them on the edge of the bowl if you want to blast a hole in one spot and end up with shell in your eggs half of the time.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
That's how it works on paper, but in reality, 98% of the time the membrane holds the shell together, and there's no problem. The other two percent of the time, I just pick the eggshell out, easy-peasy. No one cracked their eggs this way until some TV cook showed it, and people who never cooked decided it was superior and different and good. People who've been cooking with eggs for decades don't bother with this, because it's a non-issue.
starik@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 28d
I used to do it on side of the bowl, then switched later, so have years of experience with both. I don’t remember where I learned it, but it definitely helps.
gaiussabinus@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 29d
My wife and I have both worked in a kitchen, when we are both in the kitchen it works really well, but there are discrete tasks and we don't hoverr over each other or any of that shit. And we call behind and turn pot handles in and put towels on hot handles and keep knife blades turned down. All the little things.
deft@lemmy.wtf · 22 pts · 29d
You ever find yourself saying that shit in a store? Can't tell you how many times I almost barked behind into some old woman's ear on accident. I've never done it, but I've been close.
gaiussabinus@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 29d
I work in construction now and I still do it and its still a very useful habit.
deft@lemmy.wtf · 11 pts · 29d
I'm thinking of bailing on the industry. Full of fools full of themselves and half baked chefs. Hours suck, workload is sometimes stupid and you either work at a decent place with dicks and assholes or a shitty place with decent people. Or somewhere in between. No winning.
I'll be honest though fuck construction dunno how you made the switch, good on you.
gaiussabinus@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 29d
Last I checked, everywhere is looking for tradesmen. It pays better than a kitchen but the conditions can suck a lot worse. And its infested with some of the stupidest motherfuckers I have ever met. Some of the very smartest to. Pick your poison.
deft@lemmy.wtf · 6 pts · 29d
Been eyeballing jobs that offer to pay tuition. Maybe an apprenticeship as an electrician or something reliable
gaiussabinus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 29d
I did that. Can recommend. Trust no one, test everything and you'll be fine.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
There's a school near where I live called Williamson College of the Trades which offers three-year courses in Carpentry, Electrical, Landscape Management, Machine Tools, Masonry and Power Plant work. Cost is $140 per year (not a typo) since all students get scholarships to cover the normal tuition. I squandered my youth on a liberal arts education long ago, but if I were starting out today this is the place I would try to get into. Somehow, they still have to recruit to get enough people to fill their available positions.
tmyakal@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 29d
My brother is a chef with similar gripes about the industry. He finally found a job running the kitchen for a retirement community. Set salary, full benefits (including four weeks of vacation), and he's home by 8 o'clock every night. He's been there four or five years now, and he wouldn't dream of leaving.
Might be something to look for?
deft@lemmy.wtf · 4 pts · 29d
I've considered it people refer to those jobs as "retiring" which is pretty funny but they're always very reliable
fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com · 2 pts · 28d
I do it in IT
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 28d
I'm an avid bicyclist, and I constantly find myself in stores saying "on your left" when I walk past people. I'm sure people are confused, but then it seems like nobody knows what that means on a bike path, either.
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 29d
Bullshit, I love it when my partner hangs around the kitchen while I cook. We get into all sorts of silly discussions or deep philosophical debates.
I especially love when my child is in the kitchen because I have the chance to teach them new things, or they tell me about their day, or vent their frustrations, or tell me a cheesy joke ect.
Only grumpy assholes wouldn't want other people in the kitchen and frankly I don't care what grumpy assholes want.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 29d
I have a tiny "one-butt kitchen" and I would also be uncomfortable using a sharp knife with anyone crowded over me as close as in the picture. But I love(d) cooking with my kids even if we had to spill over into the rest of the apartment, and now when they visit I "sous-chef" by washing and prepping the vegetables ahead of time, making sure they start with all clean dishes and an empty dishwasher to put the used ones in, and making delighted noises about how much more beautiful their dumplings are than mine, that kind of thing. And later I rearrange the dishwasher to my liking/best efficiency, because it's only when you have all the dishes that you can really determine the best arrangement.
Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 29d
Oh my God! One of my absolute fucking FAVORITE things my son does is he really wants to help me cook. It's absolutely fucking adorable. He just turned 6 so there's not a lot that he can manage on his own yet for actual on the stove cooking, but I let him stir certain things, help me pour certain ingredients, stuff like that and he's always so proud.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 29d
My wife and I did "date night" ever other Thursday. One of our rules was that if we decided to stay in and cook, we had to do it together. I really liked those nights, but our kitchen was fairly good size. Like you said, it's a nice situation for just chatting. It's like being on a short road trip.
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
yoink Just stealing your idea, don't mind me.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 29d
Awesome, enjoy!
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 29d
A lot of people are just control freaks about their living space and they can't stand someone doing something differently than they'd do it. My mom was one of them for sure. She was also a shitty cook.
I'm not a control freak and I find it really hard to be around people who are, and goddamn there are a lot of them out there.
I'd just like to find someone who actually cooks. Everyone I date thinks cooking is gross and basically lives off those meal box services. I haven't met anyone who likes to cooks in over a decade.
nickiwest@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 29d
My mom was a control freak in the kitchen, and now I hate cooking. Every time I make anything more complex than a very simple pasta, I'm subconsciously growing more and more tense because I'm just waiting for someone to yell at me.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 28d
I can relate. my mom was like it about cleaning.
it's given me a aversion to very clean spaces, and a lot of comfort in spaces that are dirty and 'lived in', and when i go to someone's house and it looks like it's from a magazine photo and there isn't a spec of dust my skin crawls.
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 5d
My SO has the uncanny ability to always stand where I'm immediately about to go and is otherwise somehow always in the way when I'm cooking so they are banned from the space for the sake of our relationship and their safety.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 3d
or you're just an impatient jerk?
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 3d
Lol not sure what patience has to do with not wanting to turn and spill boiling hot food on somebody
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 3d
look before you turn and stop rushing to do stuff.
My kitchen is tiny and I never have this problem, but I also know how to share space and I have worked in a kitchen with 20 other people before. It's easy if you're not a dick who thinks other people are 'in your way'.
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 3d
You essentially have no clue about our relationship or the dynamics so are making some frankly wild assumptions with little to go on. I'll make one last good faith attempt to get the point across.
I too have worked in restaurant kitchens with no issue. I've shared the kitchen with many friends (my place and theirs) also with no issue. This is specifically just one person who has demonstrated it's better for everyone if they just steer clear. I love them to death but they have little self-awareness especially when holding a conversion and don't cook, so inadvertently put themselves or others in harm's way because they can't anticipate what might cause an issue. Think things like standing immediately behind someone without letting them know, opening drawers behind them (again without warning), standing in front of the sink as they go to drain a pot of pasta, bending down directly behind someone to get something out of the cabinet, etc. Just generally not making their presence known combined with an almost supernatural ability to be in the worst places at the worst times.
Maybe a kitchen analogy would help: Imagine you're carrying a large full pot across the line and call out "hot behind" and as you are walking a server (who is on the line to have a look) suddenly turns and crouches down to grab something from a lower cooler right as you're about to pass them. This pot is heavy and has lots of inertia so you have a hard time stopping in time to prevent you or your coworker getting burned. Now imagine they do something similar almost every time you are making a critical or dangerous move; you're being a dick in this situation? You're impatient for all the close calls? Or will you wonder: they aren't even cooking so why are they on the line at all?
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 3d
lol. or you could just not be an ass to your wife.
blows my mind people on here will go into vivid detail to justify their weird and bad takes, rather than just chill out and be like 'maybe it's not all about me'
Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 29d
It works if you establish who’s the lead and who’s helping before you start.
python@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 29d
You do that by figuring out who is more enthusiastic about shouting "Yes Chef!"
Stupidmanager@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 29d
I assure you, my current gf is like master chef and my notably “cute” dishes are demanded because she loves just helping. “Yes chef” is said frequently to a point where we’re just giggling, but i know it turns her on so I let her do it.
MrShankles@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 29d
If we get in each other's way when trying to help cook, we use "Yes Chef" to re-establish the flow and order lol. It works surprisingly well
Pencilnoob@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
This is the real answer right here!
Not just partners but really anyone it's easy if you establish who is the head chef and who is the sous-chef(s).
I'm happy to cook with as many sous-chefs as we can cram into the kitchen. Heck I'll put someone on a grill outside if I get too many. An extra two sous-chefs? Sounds like we're about to have two extra side dishes. Maybe a pie. Now the dishes are washed before we're done. Now they're dried and put away! I can find more tasks! Floors swept, counters wiped, I can find tasks for a small contingent of sous-chefs! Mad with power.
And same in reverse, there's something so hypnotic about just being the sous-chef. YES CHEF. Cut the veggies smaller YES CHEF. Just go with the flow. Ahhh
Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 27d
Yeah basically any relationship I’ve had it’s been like, “wanna cook?”
“Sure, you got an idea?”
“Yes”
“K, you lead”
If both partners are willing to take either role it’s fine.
Slovene85@sh.itjust.works · 27 pts · 29d
Zacryon@feddit.org · 20 pts · 29d
I disagree. I love cooking with my wife, because we distribute the tasks and I enjoy her company. Those of you, who have issues with stuff like that might need to work on your cooperation skills.
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org · 5 pts · 28d
Yeah, my partner and I cook together all the time and it's great! I also enjoy cooking for them and them cooking for me though.
manuremy@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 28d
Same here. Only times we have gotten annoyed or even angry, has been when there has been other issues underlying, like being annoyed at something they have done etc.. Normally both cut veggies, other starts to cook and add spices while other cuts the last things, then cleaning while the stuff cooks. Works well and so much faster.
Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
This
Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 18 pts · 29d
It can, but you better be cleanup or prep if I'm cooking.
magiccupcake@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 29d
Nah, cooking with my wife is great. And it's best when neither of us necessarily has to delegate tasks. Figuring out which tasks need to be done and and which order can sometimes be a huge cognitive load! That's why if you ask someone what can you do to help they might get mad, you've asked them to take on the mental load of how to make you useful.
Instead a much better approach is too look at what they are doing and think for yourself what needs to be done! Uncut veggies that need to be chopped, ask if they want you to chop the veggies. Dishes piling up in the sink? Ask them if they want you to clean the dishes. Are they making something that needs boiling water, like pasta or potatoes? Go ahead and get a pot of water boiling. It's much better for someone helping to not just complete the task, but to identify it too.
With my partner we often swap between different styles, if it's something she wants, she's in charge but I still try to find ways to help without her asking to do it. Other times the roles are reversed and she's helping me. For big events like Thanksgiving, we are both overwhelmed and will often know what needs to be done and just do it, no one's in charge, we are approaching this like a team.
If your partner never wants you in the kitchen, it's probably because you're useless and have to be babied to handle the simplest of tasks. (Which is not always bad, not everyone can cook, but everyone should be able to do dishes!) Or in a really small kitchen where there just isn't space.
But the same is true if you are a guest, my friends have gotten pretty good at seeing what needs doing and will just do it! Helping with the dishes, setting the table, making cocktails, etc. Making themselves useful without adding to someone's cognitive load that is hosting people or making a meal. However it is very frustrating when a guest who is not familiar asks how they can help, they don't know where anything belongs, so they cannot effectively complete any tasks without being micromanaged, including dishes, because some things can't go in the dishwasher and they won't know what those are! The best things guest can do in these scenarios is usually to bring already made items, like drinks, or prepare them ahead of time, or only need widely available appliances to finish, like 10 minutes in an oven to brown a casserole.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
It all depends on the people. Like if I have an overall plan for what I'm making, someone coming in and trying to fill in the blanks themselves to help might just frustrate me because it's either not in the plan or requires modifications to the plan.
Like with chopping, for some things the style doesn't matter but for others, it's important and I wouldn't be happy if someone chopped the carrots instead of shaving them or something like that.
Or for putting a pot of water on to boil, I like to do all prep first before the cooking because I found that the quality improves a lot if I can put my full attention on the timing rather than juggling finishing prep and cooking at the same time (not to mention things that need to be stirred to avoid burning and the like). Putting a pot on early will end up rushing me.
I don't get bent out of shape from any of this, but whether you should ask where to help or just jump in where you think it's needed depends on the person.
Edit: lol just noticed that you had a similar exchange with someone who posted a comment more along my mindset lower down in these same comments.
magiccupcake@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
Definitely it's gonna vary by person, by a lot of it is about approach.
It's still always going to be better to ask someone if they want you to complete a specific task, rather than what you can do to help.
This also probably varies by culture as some people are not comfortable saying no to offers of help, even if they don't want it.
Everyone is different, and everyone has different experiences, so definitely be mindful of all of these things in how you approach this.
That being said, many American men in particular seem to be guilty of this lack of thought, thinking they are be useful by offering help but not realizing that managing them is its own task. Or worse, and and not offering help at all, and defending it by saying things like "well you never asked for help".
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 29d
You make a good point about taking on the cognitive load when offering help. I would only add that care should be taken when offering to wash dishes. Partly because it could be perceived as a criticism of the dirty dishes piling up, and partly because some people are very particular about how they get washed or loaded into the dishwasher. So use your good judgement and experience with them to phrase the offer nicely.
Snapz@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 29d
Per the image... You have admitted that you don't ACTUALLY cook. But couples can reheat subscription box meals together.
"You did so good microwaving that pouch, babe!"
"And you were right there with the scissors to cut the bag open, babe! and only half spilled on the counter!"
"these really are the best rainbow trout sloppy joes I've ever had, chef."
"That's because we chefed them together, babe... Like professional chefs... y'know?"
RavingGrob@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 28d
Where are you getting the impression that they don't "actually" cook?
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml · 15 pts · 28d
Imagine not wanting someone cutting the vegetables and watching the pots for you
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 27d
Having worked in a kitchen, cooking with others brings out the most toxic version of me.
Why are you slicing carrots like its a salad? You've seen a bowl of gumbo, right? Do you need me to show you how to cut a carrot?
The same is true of my family, "you said slice, what you actually wanted me to do is chop" still elicits a feeling of disgust.
Mac@mander.xyz · 15 pts · 29d
There is a distinct difference in cooking as a couple activity and cooking as a chore.
Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 28d
depends on the size of kitchen available.
Furey@ttrpg.network · 3 pts · 28d
100% and like, I cannot cook with my family but my partner is an amazing lead or sous chef. She takes direction well when its my turn to lead.
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 29d
Depends on the cooking. One person peel veg and the other chopping it works perfectly well.
2 people kneading the same bit of dough while one is stood behind is just dumb.
hOrni@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 28d
Really? I had great fun cooking with my girlfriend. Or cooking with kids. Or cooking a massive meal with a bunch of friends. This is a bad post.
Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io · 1 pts · 28d
I love cooking with a group of people for a just that group or an even larger group. My fav. neighborhood restaurant, I often sit at a table adjacent to the kitchen. ZOMG, it sure sounds like they are having a great time, laughing, singing, srsly.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
your friends and girlfriend don't have control issues. a lot of people have massive control issues.
you're a lucky guy.
cecinestpasunecommunication@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 27d
This is really it. I don't have a single friend I can't cook with, even if I need to take a stronger lead with some than others.
curiousaur@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 29d
Love is get the fuck out of my kitchen.
Hegar@fedia.io · 11 pts · 29d
We got into a katsu phase and it was really pleasant to be cooking together - one person breading, the other frying. Love is frying together. 💞
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 29d
Breed together...
Hegar@fedia.io · 2 pts · 29d
Ewww no thank you!
Obi@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 28d
Well, except literally every professional chefs, of course.
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 28d
Professional chefs need someone to scream and throw utensils at.
Spacehooks@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 28d
This chicken is raw!
Dozzi92@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 28d
Yes, Jeff. Why are they all named Jeff?
daddycool@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 28d
If you get in the way of a professional chef, you'll be knocked out, chopped up and served as soup.
Obi@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 28d
Yeah I didn't mean they wanted amateurs in there 🤣
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 28d
my gf's a chef and loves having me in the kitchen (or so she says) i stay at a station though to keep out of her way eg at breakfast I'm making espresso, cooking toast, heating something in the microwave for her etc she has the stove/sink/fridge/bench area
95% of our meals are at home because she is particular about her food ( and she's good at it IMO)
MintyFresh@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 28d
Ya! You gotta be conscious about the space you're using. If you're going in for cuddles when I'm working the stove.... However if you're in the wings helping out with the myriad of tasks required to get a meal plated? That's when you get the chefs kiss!
the_xboxkiller@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 29d
I cook and my girl does the dishes because I’m terrible at dish management and when I’m done there’s dishes everywhere. Our system works well for us. She gets good food and I don’t have to do dishes. Win win.
Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 29d
This is the system we use. I cook every few days with big portions of leftovers.. She does the dishes, she says that I don't load the dishwasher efficiently.
bridgeburner@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 28d
How can people live without a dishwasher
Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
Only use ours on Holidays. I clean as I cook so by the time we eat there's only the dishes left and that's 3 .. costs me zero in electric and I know if they've been cleaned or not.
the_xboxkiller@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 27d
I’ve lived without a dishwasher multiple times in my adult life. We actually just sold our house that had a decent sized kitchen and moved into a small apartment on the other side of the country and now the mess is even more concentrated and there’s no dishwasher. So our system is even more of a necessity now lol
NastyNative@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 28d
Synergy! We do the same thing at our house, but I've gotten pretty good at minimizing the mess. One trick I use is serving everyone first, then using the same dish that held the cooked food as my own plate.
the_xboxkiller@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 27d
It’s more of an issue of using a lot of dishes to make the food 😅 there’s barely any dishes left to eat with when I’m done! Exaggerating, but sometimes there actually isn’t, I’m adhd af in the kitchen, but at least the food turns out good lol.
eestileib@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 29d
It's fine if you're not a control freak.
JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 29d
There's a non-zero chance of a life threatening stabbing.
ceenote@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
With a non-zero chance it was an accident.
merc@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 29d
Everyone who actually cooks wants free help, they just want to decide what the other person does, and for that person to otherwise stay out of their way.
Someone's willing to peel / chop for me? Great! They're willing to get an early start on cleaning so I don't have lots of dirty dishes, knives, bowls, and pans cluttering things up? Awesome. Sometimes just a clean pair of hands to open a jar while my hands are goopy is amazing. I'll even accept someone giving a quick stir to something on the stove so it doesn't burn if I'm busy with something else.
But, for it to work, they have to know what they're doing. They have to know what not to do. They can't get in my way, they can't take over something I'm doing, or offer unsolicited suggestions. And, if they take over something I was doing / would have done, they have to do a good job of it.
I work well with my sister. If she's cooking, I'll ask if she needs help, and only do the things that she wants help with, staying out of her way otherwise. But, I hate when my mom is around because she'll do things like snack on the ingredients I'm using, or, even worse, add her own ingredients to something I'm making.
magiccupcake@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 29d
This is not quite universal! My wife in particular does not like assigning people on how to help her, as that is additional cognitive load on how to make someone useful to you, she much prefers people either stay out of her way, or help by just looking with their eyes and see what needs to be done.
Do agree they need to know what they are doing too, having someone who doesn't know how to chop veggies the way you like them and just start doing is definitely no good, but after sometime cooking with your partner you should know what needs doing and how to do it.
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 29d
Is your wife nuerodivergent? I'm not seeing how communicating is a higher cognitive load than executing the task. It also sounds like you're describing coping skill for managing their behavior. Which is fine, of course but I'm not sure it's common behavior.
BartyDeCanter@piefed.social · 6 pts · 29d
I love cooking with my partner. They get to focus on fancy techniques and flavor tweaks while I get to spend time with them chopping vegetables or whatever. It’s delightful.
bitteroldcoot@piefed.social · 6 pts · 29d
If you walk in my kitchen while I'm cooking I'll cut off your dangly bits.
Mika@piefed.ca · 6 pts · 29d
Wife's coming up with good recipes but is way clumsier than me, so yeah pair cooking is totally a thing.
Croquette@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 29d
If people stay on the other side of the counter, they can heckle me and tell me all the worst thing in the universe. But don't come in my 2 square meters of cramped space where I work.
They don't need the plate that bad, people will cut the cheese on the wrapper and be okay with that.
Garbagio@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 29d
Eh, maybe I'm lucky but we enjoy cooking and enjoy cooking together. We know we can trust each other.
Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 28d
My wife and I love to cook together.
Dnb@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 27d
Yeah it really depends on the meal but having multiple sets of hands and working on different parts is 100% doable and fun. Does this person think restaurants have a single cook too??
rustydrd@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 29d
Kneading dough is a one-person job. There is no need to bring an extra pair of hands into this. What kind of psychopath do you have to be to want someone to reach around you and touch the same dough you're already kneading. I think I'm gonna throw up.
Ephera@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 29d
slingstone@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 28d
I feel this one in my soul. I am not an expert cook, though I don't do too badly--but I do need to concentrate on the kitchen. People need to leave me the heck alone when I'm cooking or baking.
jtrek@startrek.website · 4 pts · 29d
I don't cook well but I don't mind a partner helping. It's easy to delegate "cut this onion" or "wash these dishes". Maybe if I had higher food standards it would be a problem.
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 29d
That's more to have a commi (I don't know what's the English word for it), like someone who does all the menial things per your orders than "cooking together" IMO.
eestileib@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 29d
"Sous-chef"
kreskin@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 29d
That guy is about to have his hand smashed with that rolling pin. I'll do it for her if she doesnt want to, but you know she does.
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 29d
I like having my husband sit at the counter while I cook, but he provides something to listen to. He does not help cook at all. I don't really want the guy with cerbral palsy to be dicing anything though. He does empty the dishwasher and fill it, as long as I've brought in the dishes from elsewhere in the house, he can't transport them that far.
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 28d
I absolutely love to cook I've been cooking since I was a teenager when I worked in restaurants as I got older I ran a fine dining kitchen for a while. I absolutely love when I get to cook with other people in my kitchen. It's an absolute joy to share that moment sometimes it feels intimate sometimes it's just fun sometimes it's teaching them sometimes I get to learn things. Anyone that doesn't like to have other people cook with them is just odd to me.
joyjoy@piefed.social · 3 pts · 29d
yes chef right away chef!
m3t00@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 28d
my greatest creations while drunk involved frozen pizzas with added toppings. bake as usual. extra cheese, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes... w/e was available. occasionally passed out before the timer went off. slight smoke damage until it became charcoal. quit drinking but still like the pizzas;
here's fish tacos with sardines. feel the love;
modus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
With the right marketing and ambiance, those tacos could go for $60.
m3t00@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 26d
craft tacos. actually that was before 30 seconds in the microwave to melt the cheese.
cecinestpasunecommunication@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 27d
What is the right ambiance for a slice of american cheese on store bought corn tortilla with extremely strong fish and tomato sauce?
modus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 27d
Outdoor dining with a disposable plastic table cloth, plastic folding chair, and the aroma of the dumpster from the neighboring animal hospital.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 28d
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 3 pts · 27d
If I am making something that requires a lot of steps or making multiple dishes, I don't mind a helper that actually helps and stays out of the way of what I'm doing while they do what they're doing.
Of course that also assumes I am in a kitchen with room. My apartment's kitchen wouldn't make a difference even if my helper was a clone of myself. Not enough room for a second person to not be in the way constantly.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 3 pts · 28d
For me, I hate cooking. My spouse hates cooking. To me, love is us encouraging each other to cook.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
There's a reason Nova Scotia Kitchen Parties are a thing.
Unless you're intently planning on cooking for others with no input, sharing the kitchen is the most intimate thing you can do.
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 2 pts · 27d
There is not a single second where the other person isn't standing in front of a drawer or door that you need to acces pronto.
Zephyr@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 28d
Unless the work is easy to break down. Food prep like chopping or split work like you cook I'll prep the salad and dessert.
arin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 29d
My wife keeps telling me to play Overcooked with her but keeps getting upset in the game about everything, especially the rats and cockroaches 🤣. But yeah she also hates it when I'm in the kitchen when she is cooking even when i offer to help. When i cook she also doesn't want to be near me 🤷♂️
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 29d
I think people are too insecure to accept being the prep chef or the heat chef. It cuts down on cook time if you can have someone chopping as you stir. I don’t need a second person manning the spatula or cutting, I need washed, prepped veggies or someone at the stove. If you’re uncertain whether something should be put away, just leave it. Simple as
If you’re reading this, you probably suck at delegation, you’re overly particular about how the other half is done, or your partner is inept. And that’s where the issue lies, figuring out where to improve.
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 29d
I'm reading this, and what you describe is how I roll, I chop chop, she stirs etc. Except onions, I'm the onion stirrer.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 29d
Congratulations on being functional in the kitchen! Sounds like you guys recognize your capacities and work through them rather than ineffectually inserting yourselves into situations. Excellent skills to have!
cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 29d
100% please chop some veggies for me so I can focus on not burning shit. It goes quicker that way rather than having to prep everything beforehand.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 29d
Exactly.
Everyone gets a role, and communicate. I often do the veggie chopping because it's an undesirable task and I'd rather take the grunt work off my better half. I'm also a little faster at it.
But yea, we're constantly talking about where we are in a recipe, what's next, if there are any other timings to get right (sides, noodles, rice, etc).
arc99@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
When I cook, anybody else in the kitchen who is there not there by invitation is just an annoyance. So people can be there if asked, otherwise FOAD.
ragas@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 29d
We have some more difficult recipes that we work together on. However everyone has their own defined part.
Otherwise one is the master chef actually cooking and the other ois just the helper for cutting and peeling stuff.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 28d
only if they are teaching to cook, but usually they get in the way of the cooker.
Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
My wife is fucking useless in the kitchen. I would absolutely love it if she even attempted to help in the kitchen. Typically she sits on her ass and doomscrolls while I do all the work. She's not a great cook, and for that reason, I do most of the cooking. There are still small things that you can do to help out like cutting veggies, finding spices, setting the table, etc. If she did those things, she might learn a thing or 2 about how to cook and improve her culinary skills. Also, whenever she cooks, she acts like the person in this meme wanting no help, and it comes out tasting like shit (too much oil, not enough seasoning and burnt to hell is her usual). If I try to help, she gets frustrated and quits leaving me to make the meal (which may be what she's trying to do anyway). So think about the other side of this coin OP.
Furey@ttrpg.network · 7 pts · 28d
Have you considered therapy?
Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
This is my Ex Wife . She could burn water. My new wife is a delight in the kitchen so much so that I make weekend breakfasts with zero help and don't even feel slighted. It's a treat.
Snapz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 29d
Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoinggggggg!!!!!
Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 29d
Hass028@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 27d
Love is to share all moments togather, and be happy for eachother no matter what
Bluewing@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
As a wise drunk philosopher once said "You Goddamn right not!"
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 29d
Every time I’m cooking for company:
“This looks amazing! What can I do to help?”
“Get the fuck out of my kitchen and go drink wine.”
NastyNative@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 28d
I have a blast making pizza with my son, but aside from that, everyone can clear the kitchen and let me cook in peace while I listen to some great music. That's my happy place!
beejboytyson@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 28d
Either they're want to do everything or don't know anything.
Yeller_king@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 28d
That's what makes it intimate.
cecinestpasunecommunication@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 27d
If you're not in a knife fight, are you really family?
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 29d
Yo who wants people randomly popping into the kitchen while they're cooking no matter how fast they cook?
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 29d
For simple, tedious tasks, by all means. Let's sit in a circle around a pot snapping green beans, shucking corn husks, shelling peas/hard-boiled eggs, wrapping dumplings/tomales. Spread the work load, share in the quality time and conversation and contribute to a shared meal. Great.
If you want to get another cutting board and knife and help me peel, chop, and shred to prep some ingredients before the cooking has actually begun, I wouldn't be mad either... provided you can follow simple directions like how big your chopped potatoes should be... and provided you are not a threat to yourself and others with a knife like my wife.
But when I have 3 pots and pans on the stove, two sheets of roasting veggies in the oven that need tossed regularly and I'm trying to keep my eye on everything, time the cooking, prevent burning, etc., or I'm running in and out of the house between the counter, the grill and the sink... Get the hell out of my way. I love my wife, but she is no help in the kitchen.
slothrop@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 29d
Only if the other person knows *exactly* what I'm about to do.
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · -1 pts · 29d
Everybody I know knows to leave me alone in the kitchen unless I specificallyask for something. It's gotten to the point where I can honestly and literally tell people to "get the fuck out", without them feeling scorn. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It all started when I was prepping Christmas dinner for extended family, and when people were arriving they somehow thought it was OK to hang out in the kitchen just chitchatting while being in the way. I started giving them things to do, such as emptying the dishwasher, loading it, scrubbing a pan, etc, until they realized I was mostly giving them busy work as I ran out of tasks to delegate. "If you're hanging out in the kitchen, I'll assign you something to do. If you don't want something to do, get the fuck out!".
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 29d
You sound exhausting to be around.
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 28d
Congrats on getting the point
pyre@lemmy.world · -3 pts · 28d
shut up Jenni just because you're weird doesn't mean you speak for people who "really" cook.
this is barely a step above "oh, you like cooking? name every food"
Hass028@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 27d
why are you so aggressive it's just a thought
pyre@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 27d
the thought is accusatory