Needs some cobwebs to hide the plastic appearance

688 points · 62 comments · view on lemmy.world

62 Comments

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 94 pts · 33d (5 replies)

You can buy a full, real human skeleton for about $7,000. Since real skeletons don't stay intact once all the meat is gone, you could just drop a pile of bones in the bottom with a large pile of diatomaceous earth. That would give the local forensic team something to do.

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 84 pts · 33d (2 replies)

Since real skeletons don’t stay intact once all the meat is gone

Sorry but I've seen enough horror movies to know skeletons maintain their position perfectly as the body decomposes. Don't spread misinformation here.

ilovededyoupiggy@sh.itjust.works · 51 pts · 33d (1 reply)

They don't fall apart until some fool of a Took comes along and touches them. Then you're boned.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 33d

I bet the orc that first started banging his drum was just startled by the sudden sound and movement but tried to play it off as intentional by continuing and then it became a whole thing 🤷🏻

Randelung@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 32d

"Mom, what's that smell?"

"Probably just some meat that fell behind the counter, honey. It'll go away on its own in a few months."

"Can't daddy just get it?"

"... no."

Madison420@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 33d

Mmm they sorta do and sorta don't. Ligaments are last to go and aren't horrifically difficult to accidentally partially mummify.

Beacon@fedia.io · 57 pts · 33d (18 replies)

You have to live in a very oversized house in area where space is extremely cheap to decide to just throw space away. Yes that wedge of corner space under the counter is inconvenient, but it would still be useful for things you only need to get to very occasionally.

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 33d (11 replies)

Spaces like that are more common than you’d think when it comes to countertops. Some older kitchens used that space for lazy Susan style rotating shelves, but you don’t see it much anymore.

Zwiebel@feddit.org · 16 pts · 33d (2 replies)

Might be because these corner sections don't work if you want everything drawers instead of shelves. That's the issue I've run into

13igTyme@piefed.social · 7 pts · 33d

Yup. We had a house like that and I told me wife, "fuck it. make it a basic one shelf cabinet and store crap in it.

Beacon@fedia.io · 1 pts · 33d

Even then it doesn't make sense to wall off the space. People have things that they'll almost never use again but don't want to throw away. A tucked away space is perfect for that. Just cut a big hole in the sidewall facing the wedge area, now you have storage space you can reach when you take out the drawers.

MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 33d (3 replies)

I've got the lazy susans! Three of them!! Ahahahaha!!!

kibblebits@quokk.au · 5 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Three? Wow. Susan ain’t lazy in your house.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 33d

Overly conscientious Susan.

BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 32d

Same! Four here. Such a good use of space.

JordanZ@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 33d
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Venator@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 31d (2 replies)

They should make spring loaded shelves that can rise out of the counter top for those spots: the lazy suzan things are better than nothing but still a bit of a pain when something gets in the way of it's path out of the cupboard

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 31d (1 reply)

This guy commented a bit lower with pics of what you mentioned. They look pretty cool.

Venator@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 30d

Oh true, they're really expensive though 😅. A better option would probably be to build one using standing desk legs, would need to wire in some sort of squash detecting safety cutoff however...

grue@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 32d

The blocked-off corner space is what happens when you buy pre-made cabinets instead of having them custom-built. (Unless the cabinet manufacturer happens to offer a dedicated corner piece, and the measurements work out such that it fits in your kitchen, I guess.)

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 33d

I use it for things I rarely ever use, like the microwave.

I would get rid of it but sometimes when we invite people over to have food and they bring microwave meals.

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 32d (3 replies)

"Oversized" and "cheap" are relative terms.

Also, not everyone obsessively buys and hoards crap they don't need. My kitchen cabinets are half empty, because I don't buy things like air fryers, and bread machines, and food dehydrators, or whatever the latest single purpose cheap appliance is.

Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it · 5 pts · 32d (1 reply)

I wouldn't call an air fryer single purpose

hereiamagain@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 32d

My air fryer was free, it was broken and I fixed it.

We use it occasionally, but I don't know that I'd buy another when it breaks

Beacon@fedia.io · 1 pts · 32d

It doesn't have to be for kitchen goods

procrastitron@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 33d (7 replies)

10-15 years is way too frequent to be performing kitchen remodels.

IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com · 11 pts · 33d

"...I just felt like we needed something new!"

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 33d (3 replies)

Right? I got granite that shit is stone it lasts forever.

AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social · 8 pts · 33d (2 replies)

We're moving to a new place and buying a kitchen. Stone/granite is so expensive even for a small kitchen. Everything not an imitation is expensive, really. Actually, everything is expensive nowadays 🫠

Speculater@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 33d

I got a quote to trim my trees and there are six of them, fair. He comes out explains the canopy and growth direction and yada yada. Does some paperwork. $5k

Bruh, what the hell.

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 33d

It's crazy how expensive everything is. I'm lucky the previous owners did it in my house, I hadn't seen how expensive it is. Worth it though, I'd argue, it lasts forever.

finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 32d

Shh! Don't attract the attention of Big Kitchen!

CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 33d

And thats why they get the Random Skeleton.

PlaidBaron@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Its you. You will be remodelling and forget you put it there. Joke's on you.

hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 33d

Ha, as if I could afford to live there until then.

WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 33d (6 replies)

Even better, don't use a Spirit Halloween skeleton. If you really want to do it right, use the real deal:

https://www.jonsbones.com/

https://www.boneroom.com/

https://www.skullsunlimited.com/

Little known fact. You can actually order human skeletons on the Internet.

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 33d (1 reply)

That’s an incredibly expensive prank. Over $2,000 USD for a skull alone.

GenosseFlosse@feddit.org · 24 pts · 33d

That sounds lucrative. You can just dig them up from the ground for free!

Randelung@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 32d

Bone room could absolutely be something else.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Fizz@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 32d

Boner opened to many chrome tabs?

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 33d

That Jon's Bones is the real deal. My cursory perusal found human skulls going from about $2000 up to about $6000. A human vertebra is $52.

helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Or plan your kitchen remodel to not have that stupid corner.

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 33d

So a perfectly round kitchen?

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 17 pts · 33d (2 replies)

Empty space in the corner cabinet? WTF? Is that another American invention that didn't cross the ocean? Thankfully.

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 30 pts · 33d

AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social · 5 pts · 33d

Plenty of that stuff in Europe, too. My mother's custom made kitchen has quite inconvenient shelves in that corner, but at least the space is used. OTOH, we're buying a kitchen and the standard is to just have nothing there. Seems like one has to specifically request shelves or a lazy Susan type mechanism.

9point6@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 33d

Has no one introduced you guys to the concept of the corner cupboard?

heartSagan5@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 33d

Ah, the cobwebs will naturally come.

Jerb322@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 33d

A mannequin arm came with our house. It was up in the attic, right next to the hatch. The inspector came to look over the house and found it. Almost fell off his step ladder.

wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 10 pts · 33d (5 replies)

Why not just hide the actual remains there?

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 33d

Because then I'd have to go back to that one oak tree next to the dried-up riverbed to retrieve them.

OwOarchist@pawb.social · 2 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Gotta keep the investigators guessing with fake decoy remains.

Just wait until they find the one buried underneath the garden shed -- guess what, also plastic!

CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 33d

You've put a hilarious image in my head.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 33d

Found Elaine Chao

CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 33d

The actual remains are in the spike pit.

magnetosphere@fedia.io · 9 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Most contractors I know would appreciate the joke. Just make sure the skeleton is a cheap, obviously fake one. I’m thinking Spirit Halloween.

username_unavailable@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 33d

I would throw in a joke that a child could laugh at too. ( Skelky is holding a poster for "(remodel year) (neighborhood) annual hide-and-seek contest"? )

anon6789@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 33d (2 replies)

The Webcaster gun is amazing and makes low grade props look way better! A bit of a single purpose item, some may say, but I used one all over to throw a killer Halloween party, and my ex built haunted house attractions and used them there.

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Wow! Super cool. Idk about blowing money on one since I don’t already have an air compressor, but it’s a neat tool

anon6789@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 33d

I was able to borrow one from a relative so that was a big help. You should be able to rent one too. If you're a Halloween fan, it should be right up there with a fog machine. It was really fun and easy to use, and cleanup was a breeze because it isn't sticky or anything.

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · -1 pts · 33d (1 reply)

Satan called and said that seems a little over the top.

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 12 pts · 33d

It's actually under the top.