Missing the point

1.3k points · 153 comments · view on lemmy.world

153 Comments

garretble@lemmy.world · 367 pts · 315d (10 replies)

It’s a perfect metaphor for the performative Christianity they love: all show, no effort

BedSharkPal@lemmy.ca · 89 pts · 315d

He's wearing a suit for fuck sakes.

DaddleDew@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 315d (1 reply)

You're telling me they didn't even nail him to it after?

errer@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 315d

We’re nailing him to it figuratively at least

barnaclebutt@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 315d

A cross without wheels is poor people shit.

ViatorOmnium@piefed.social · 25 pts · 315d (4 replies)

Well the entire thing was an insult to whoever wrote Matthew 6:5. Which is a proud Christian tradition, but Americans take it a whole new level.

echodot@feddit.uk · 16 pts · 315d (3 replies)

Yes I wonder who wrote Matthew 6:5, if only there was some sort of a hint.

skisnow@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 315d (1 reply)

Honestly I’m surprised there aren’t more sects that explicitly reject Matthew by now. It’s the one that has the bulk of the “don’t be a dick” instructions.

Most of them seem to prefer John which can more easily be twisted into “if you’re a Christian you’re a winner and better than everyone who isn’t, no need to worry about the details, you’re already on the list”

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 315d

John the Batshit and Luke the Boomer.

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 10 pts · 315d

The traditional attribution of Gospels to their namesakes may not be entirely accurate – it's plausible that it may incorporate material actually written by the Apostle Matthew, but also seems to lean on Mark and shares literary elements with Luke. There's a whole scholarly debate on it, called the Synoptic Problem.

For all we know, the author might have been someone else drawing both on the teachings of the Apostle Matthew and the works of prior writers, or entirely based on different works and simply attributed it to Matthew. Hence, "whoever wrote" is probably the safest attribution possible.

scala@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 315d

Probably made of the lightest material possible. That dude is hardly struggling.

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 148 pts · 315d (10 replies)

American style Christianity described in one image.

Sabata11792@ani.social · 53 pts · 315d (9 replies)

False. The cross is not self propelled with a $20 a month subscription.

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 22 pts · 315d

With a black guy already nailed to it.

pachrist@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 315d (2 replies)

Needs a sponsorship. I like the sound of the Fanduel Cross to Bear.

Sabata11792@ani.social · 7 pts · 315d

A Nascar logo, the latest shit coin, and Grifters Big Dick Protein Powder.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 315d

CrossFit?

pyre@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 315d (2 replies)

pfft why would i pay for a cross that doesn't even have AI?

Sabata11792@ani.social · 4 pts · 315d (1 reply)

I will be added to the cross in the next release as decreed by the shareholders.

pyre@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 315d

oh take my money then, as a smart tech investor i love paying for promises

psoul@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 315d (1 reply)

Where is my aftermarket lifted cross to own the libs on top of a few slaves?

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 314d

Gotta put some truck nuts on there, for good measure.

chrome_daddy@lemmy.world · 128 pts · 315d (2 replies)

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 315d

Welp, that gif is retired now.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 314d

Optimus Prime

Arrived from the heavens, died for our sins, but in the third season he was resurrected.

miseducator@lemmy.world · 117 pts · 315d (9 replies)

Jesus after seeing this pic:

Ephera@lemmy.ml · 46 pts · 315d

And that even though people kept telling him: Jesus, take the wheel!

kossa@feddit.org · 17 pts · 315d (7 replies)

Nowhere in the bible is explicitly written, that Jesus didn't think of that. Might have had wheels for all we know. Maybe he just skipped gym and was weak af. Or had the wrong wheels for the terrain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 50 pts · 315d (3 replies)

Wrong

Matthew 4:20:69

"And lo, Jesus tried to explain that the cross would be much easier to carry if it has wheels yet the Roman said 'lol, lmao'"

echodot@feddit.uk · 13 pts · 315d

The wheels were being provided by Apple and so Jesus couldn't afford them.

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 315d

Somebody really knows his bible there.

Senseless@feddit.org · 8 pts · 315d

ngl, you got me in the first half.

rarsamx@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 315d (1 reply)

Skipped the gym? Not the Christ depicted in so many churches where he looks like an Olympic gymnast, 6 pack and all.

LordCrom@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 315d

9 pack, he had an extra ab, like Batman.

spinne@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 315d

Maybe he just thought, "Christ, I could really do with some wheels" the whole time

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 97 pts · 315d (25 replies)

Well, to be fair, they are idiots...

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 26 pts · 315d (22 replies)

So. That user name...

thelittleerik@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 315d

Maybe hes a wrestler

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 22 pts · 315d (8 replies)

I like fisting and so does my fiancée

bdonvr@thelemmy.club · 10 pts · 315d (7 replies)

Mutual?

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 13 pts · 315d (6 replies)

I've given it a go being on the receiving end because I'm no hypocrite, but it didn't excite me

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 315d (5 replies)

Did she lose her engagement ring?

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 11 pts · 315d (4 replies)

Definitely not

Safety first!

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 315d

Genuine question if you're a dude, how did you prep to not blow out your O ring?

HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 315d (11 replies)

He knows what he's about.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 315d (10 replies)

Oh oh oh! I rarely get to act this insincerely indignant!

hOw Do yOu KnOw It'S a GuY?

(But in all honesty I assumed the same thing) Going back to ask them, brb.

HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 315d (9 replies)

Yeah, I'm doing some assuming here, but here's a (in my opinion) strong indicator: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/53595968.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 315d (5 replies)

Holy shit I'm dieing! Cause it hasn't really been shoved in my face yet, I was assuming Lemmy was without the porn stuff.

HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 315d (4 replies)

Yeah. As far as I know, most if not all the porn stuff is on the lemmynsfw instance, which coincidentally is where @FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com is from. Plus, the '[M]' tag in the post's title helps identify gender.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 315d

Is there a way to see all the nsfw stuff without the porn?

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 4 pts · 315d (2 replies)

That's one of my fiancée's favourite videos of me!

I hope you liked it

HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 314d (1 reply)

It was a nice vid for sure!

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 314d

Thanks!

rarsamx@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 315d (1 reply)

To be fair the idiots are the followers. They are very smart scammers.

themeatbridge@lemmy.world · 95 pts · 315d (10 replies)

Holy shit this is the most accurate metaphorical depiction of modern Christians I've ever seen.

Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de · 9 pts · 315d (2 replies)

But it's so heavy though.

gex@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 314d (1 reply)

It's probably made out of balsa wood

Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 314d

I'm guessing Papier-mâché

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 313d (2 replies)

Fun fact there's a guy in my area who drags around a cross made of recycled oak pieces (bits of old furniture cut and glued together) every Easter. Apparently he made it out of raw spite about performative and hypocritical Christians, he is mildly insane and was not even vaguely phased by my crazed neo pagan schtick so take of that as you will.

Cassanderer@thelemmy.club · 4 pts · 313d (1 reply)

I am a little curious about your crazed Neo Pagan schtick.

I was thinking about a full paegan one...

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 313d

Not much to say about it, I just make batshit insane statements that wouldn't be out of place in viking themed RPG. Shit like "The Norns must hate you for our fates to cross" and "Thine flesh will make a fine sacrifice to the many named god" note I usually avoid saying Odin since he is still so relevant to pop culture as to be effectively stripped of any erieness same with Thor, so I go down the borderline Lovecraft route of names and titles or I just use lesser known ones like Godin which I think is the Lombard version.

KeenFlame@feddit.nu · 7 pts · 315d (3 replies)

Some go further and abuse it (riding on a notorized cross)

Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 314d (2 replies)

If the cross is notarized, does that mean you have to sign for it?

KeenFlame@feddit.nu · 3 pts · 314d (1 reply)

It is carried by twelve slaves, so you have to command them and this privilege is obviously forged every so often

Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 313d

Forged you say, that's ironic.

veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 315d (9 replies)

why didn't Jesus think of that? Was he stupid?

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 315d (7 replies)

Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he'd tried harder

butersnaps@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 315d

On the other hand, I think he nailed it.

explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 315d

The thought must've crossed his mind, just to fuck with the mortals.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 314d (2 replies)

What are you talking about, he did survive it, though he slept for 3 days before going to say bye to his friends then goy the fuck out of there before the sick fucks tried again. He then went to Scandinavia where he taught the people to mostly be cool, but, worried about another backlash, told them that maybe one day they can raid and pillage every now and then as a treat.

FearMeAndDecay@literature.cafe · 2 pts · 314d (1 reply)

Wait I got the rest of it, but what’s the Scandinavia part?

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 314d

Just that Scandinavians are generally pretty chill but there was also those centuries of Viking raids. Plus, with the whole ascending thing, that's about as far north as he could get.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 315d (1 reply)

As God, Jesus wouldn't have died unless he wanted to. Jesus committed suicide by Roman(s).

Omgpwnies@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 314d

You are correct if one were to assume the contents of the bible are an accurate representation of history; it's mentioned several times during the passion. Effectively Jesus, being God, could have just noped out or gone Old Testament or whatever. He specifically talked about that in the garden of Gethsemane basically saying he knows what's going to happen and is doing so voluntarily.

wuphysics87@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 314d

They didn't have the wheel in the bronze age 🙃

methods286@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 315d (6 replies)

If Jesus was so smart, why didn’t he think of this? Would have saved him a ton of work.

BedSharkPal@lemmy.ca · 36 pts · 315d

Clearly not a great carpenter.

josefo@leminal.space · 9 pts · 315d

Simon wouldn't have to help him carry his own cross, what a loser. The poor guy was just standing there.

0ops@piefed.zip · 7 pts · 315d
Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 315d

Work smart not hard. Probably didnt even need to die for 'everyones' sins. Considering most people aren't Christian. The ROI just isnt there.

If Jesus had put that gold, frankincense, and myrth into a Roth IRA and just sat on it. Well, the church wouldn't need an offering plate, Ill tell you that much.

MML@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 315d

He was just too fucking swole to bother

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 314d

They hadn't invented the wheel yet. I have a degree in history, so you can trust me.

RattlerSix@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 315d (2 replies)

Back on the Saturday before Easter I was driving down a highway when I saw police blocking the right lane. There was a church group walking along the road dragging a cross. I laughed my ass off when I noticed it had wheels. I only got a screen cap from a dashcam video.

prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 315d

Where I grew up there were three churches on the island.

An episcopal church at one end, a Methodist church in the middle and a catholic at the other end.

The episcopal priest would lug the cross to the Methodist church, the Methodist priest would take it over and lug it to the Catholic Church, then the Catholic priest would lug it up into the church and the theee priests would do a communal church service ahead of Easter.

No wheels.

Community.

Everyone welcome.

This was the church community I grew up in, I’m an atheist now because of what the rest of the churches in the world showed me.

Theatomictruth@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 315d
[ removed ]
_stranger_@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 314d

If they're too lazy to even perform during their performative gestures, what's the fucking point?!

They should just send a guy out there wearing a life size replica of Charlie Kirks head like a theme park mascot yelling "OBEY" followed by whatever they want their cult to do/feel/etc.

echodot@feddit.uk · 39 pts · 315d

It's rather poignant I think.

After all the guy they are honouring only ever paid lip service to the religion. So they should to.

stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 315d

🎶I'm here to remind you of the wheels you use on that cross you bear, It's not fair!🎶

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 315d

Hey when you're making up the story you can control the entire narrative

dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 315d (2 replies)

No crown of thorns either. Amateur.

JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 315d (1 reply)

Thorns bite into my skin. And don't get me started on sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating... and it gets everywhere!

Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 2 pts · 315d

Even the woman and the children!

DarkFuture@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 314d

Turns out following the teachings of Jesus Christ and being a good person are too difficult for most Christians.

xxce2AAb@feddit.dk · 25 pts · 315d

21st century Christianity.

PissingIntoTheWind@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 314d (5 replies)

Look at me! Look at me! I’m doing the thing! Look at me!

Vanity will get you sent to hell bro. Hope you know.

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 314d (4 replies)

Hell isn't real.
But guillotines are.

captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 314d

As are crosses.

jerkface@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 314d

bloodlust

PissingIntoTheWind@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 314d (1 reply)

I mean. I don’t hope dude is guillotined. Unless he did some high treason.

ThunderQueen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 314d
[ removed ]
Ging@anarchist.nexus · 20 pts · 315d

11th commandment was work smarter, not harder

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 315d (4 replies)

It's also way undersized. Look at how wide it isn't. They'd be nailing his elbows instead of his hands. It ought to be much taller and thicker too.

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 315d (3 replies)

the og cross was supposedly 9' x 6' and 300lbs according to my quick Google

ps I nearly did a Stonehenge and called it 9"x6"

Omgpwnies@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 314d (1 reply)

IIRC, they did not carry the entire cross, the vertical member was permanently installed. They carried the horizontal portion and were basically hoisted by that into place

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 314d

the vertical member was permanently installed

that's a cigar-waggler of a line

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 314d

Nah fuck it Jesus was a giant confirmed.

Furbag@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 315d (1 reply)

If only we could have people performatively wheel around more practical execution devices, like the evergreen guillotine.

Holy shit that's a great band name. Do not steal.

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 315d

Let me know when you drop your first album!

AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 314d

Holy shit this is so hilarious and so fucking awful. Jesus would be so pissed.

Now I'm imagining Peter Thiel pitching Jesus an easy button as an alternative to sacrificing himself for the sins of humanity.

dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 313d

It's practically a motto: "Optics, not substance."

umbraroze@slrpnk.net · 12 pts · 313d

Yup. American Evangelism summed up in one picture.

plyth@feddit.org · 11 pts · 314d (4 replies)

The convict had to carry a horizontal beam (patibulum), 1.5-1.8 m long, to the place of execution, from the place of flagellation. His hands were tied to the crossbeam with straps. According to Roman source literature, a person condemned to crucifixion, he never carried the entire cross, contrary to customary faith and contrary to many modern recreations of Jesus’ path to Golgotha.

lovely_reader@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 314d

I googled this text to find the source. It goes on to say that the crossbeam alone weighed 45kg (about 100 lbs), so he could at least carry that much of it...

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 314d (2 replies)

it makes sense as they'd be prepping the uprights while the executed were in transit - digging immense post holes and filling them with posts and packing the remainder so it stays upright.

nomy@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 314d (1 reply)

It makes it possible to utilize those uprights later for other executions as well. It makes sense now that I'm thinking about it.

Have a hill with the uprights in place. Strap the condemned to their own little crossbars and hoist/mount them to the upright when they arrive.

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 314d

yeah man, I just get the strange feeling that most people, even christians who fetishize crucifixion to a disturbing degree, realize how much effort, time and site prep a good upright post to support the ritual takes.

but the romans, heh, they were engineers. planners. builders.

christ never stood a chance!

PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 315d (4 replies)

One of the local churches near me would give everyone a pvc pipe cross lol

echodot@feddit.uk · 10 pts · 315d (1 reply)

At Easter they give everyone a palm cross, then if you still have it by Christmas, you're supposed to burn it, but no one ever does still have it by Christmas, so they give you a new one. Then they burn that one.

This is supposed to signify something, but I don't think anyone knows what.

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 315d

I think you're confusing it with Ash Wednesday, the first day of lent?

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 315d

I've been to many many different churches over the years, and the great majority of them seem to have lost the plot.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 314d

You know they have a big assembly night, and they have to recruit helpers:

"And before we do the benediction, I just want to say that on Wednesday evening, we will be assembling the crosses for next Sunday's service, and we can use all the help we can get. I'm not making this request, God is, I'm just passing along the message.

Oh, and God says that he's not made of money, so if you want snacks and beverages, bring your own."

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 314d

Let me symbolize the suffering that I know others can’t escape that is expected of others while making it easy as possible on the rich guy virtue signaling for their own aggrandizement.

E: words.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 314d

Wait until he gets his 30 lashes with the pink feather boa. That's when the crowd goes wild.

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 315d

You can’t cross a bear with wheels.

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 313d

You can only miss the point if you ever aimed at it.

pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 315d (2 replies)

I don't get it? What am I missing?

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 33 pts · 315d

"bearing a cross" is a phrase meant to refer to persisting through hardship by comparing your struggles to Jesus being made to carry the cross for his crucifixion. (Jesus had to carry his own cross to be crucified from the place of the trial to the place of execution.) However, this person installed wheels onto the cross to make it easier to carry. This defeating the purpose of the metaphor. Jesus certainly did not have wheels on his cross.

comrade19@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 315d

I think dragging the cross is a metaphor because it's heavy but this fellas got the wheels

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 314d

Practicing what he preached.

bigbabybilly@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 313d

Anyone giving these donkeys money deserves to be parted with it, unfortunately.

JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 315d

Jeebus: I have to do WHAT for these idiots? Can't we tone it down a bit? Like maybe if I got billed twice for my Disney subscription one month or something? I'm not on board with this whole DYING thing...

altphoto@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 315d

The new Jesus trike!

A three wheeled cross!

ICastFist@programming.dev · 5 pts · 314d

Pretty sure I heard a parable/fable/story about some asshole impious person doing something like this back during catholic catechism

jenny_ball@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 314d (3 replies)

do you want to hear THAT sound??

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 314d (1 reply)

In the book, the sound gets to him, it's core to the scene.

They cut that for the movie and you know for a fact these idiots don't read, so there you have it.

jenny_ball@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 302d

cool!

AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 314d

Typically when churches reenact the resurrection in on Easter they give the part of Jesus to somebody they know is strong enough to carry the cross. Not just some schmo who looks like he's never even lifted anything, including a finger to help others.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 315d

Just wheeling in the execution frame.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 315d

Man babies need their training wheels.

Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 315d

Should he not be nailed to it?

Cassanderer@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 313d

Yeah what a pussy, this Showboat wants to look like he is respecting Jesus's burden, that has little wheels on his crucifix? What a pussy. Fuck this guy.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 315d

he's being considerate of the carpet, i'll give him that

niktemadur@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 313d

I don't care who this asshole is, but whoever it is, one phrase comes to mind,
Fake christian, fake as A.I.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 314d

The guy is trying to invent a Christian skateboard, but he's got it all wrong.

Kevlar21@piefed.social · -14 pts · 315d (4 replies)
[ removed ]
Godort@lemmy.ca · 23 pts · 315d (1 reply)

If that were true, the stands wouldn't be full of people

MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 18 pts · 315d

They're just crisis actors.

Greyghoster@aussie.zone · 22 pts · 315d

Props are usually put on stage by roadies and not many of them wear jackets.

explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 315d

What else are you pretty sure about?