Radon

396 points · 178 comments · view on lemmy.world

178 Comments

psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 162 pts · 255d (13 replies)

First one: i analyse sales.

Second one: i automate production

Third one: i'm a fucking idiot

ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 26 pts · 255d (7 replies)
  1. I
  2. Am
  3. A
  4. Fucking
  5. Idiot

It doesn't fit

blarghly@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 255d (3 replies)

Imma fucking idiot

fartographer@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 255d

I know you are, but what I am too, also.

HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 2 pts · 254d

Don’t be like that, Imma.

dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 254d
[ removed ]
_lilith@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 255d

well the job is BS so...

guy@piefed.social · 3 pts · 255d

I am idijit

x4740N@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 254d

"I'm Stupid" works

Vellaides@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 255d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
5in1k@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 255d

Nom nom nom.

zxqwas@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Going further with wikipedias article and some of their bullshit jobs listed:

Telemarketing: I sell stuff.

Corporare lawyer: I explain law.

Academic administratrors: I administer students/professors

Compliance officer: I check compliance.

psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Corporate lawyer would be : i'm an asshole

ICastFist@programming.dev · 2 pts · 255d

That's also most lawmakers/politicians/lobbyists

Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net · 86 pts · 255d (2 replies)

I write code

(It's still a bullshit job)

kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I generate bugs.

dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 255d

Honest.

Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social · 73 pts · 255d (7 replies)

I make programs

Quokka@quokk.au · 45 pts · 255d (6 replies)

I make problems

okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Problems make me.

eager_eagle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 255d (1 reply)

student?

okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 255d

teacher?

Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it · 9 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I make bugs

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 255d

The techy kind or the crawly kind?

Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 255d

Practical problems, solve

Zozano@aussie.zone · 68 pts · 255d (12 replies)

3 people above the fisherman:

  • sales analyst
  • automation technician
  • software engineer

Fisherman:

  • I operate a decentralized, sustainability-focused aquatic-resource acquisition methodology utilizing precision-guided line-and-lure interface systems to facilitate targeted biomass retrieval.
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 254d (4 replies)

I think the meme is saying that if you know your job is bullshit, you obfuscate what you do behind a thick layer of corpospeak.

Zozano@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 254d (3 replies)

Everyone likes to act like they're more important than they are.

Ironically the fisherman might actually be worse ethically and ecologically.

Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 254d (2 replies)

Everyone likes to act like they’re more important than they are.

And that impulse is borne out of insecurity.

Zozano@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 254d (1 reply)

Being aware of the system doesn't make you immune from the system.

Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 254d

All it does is convey that the person saying it thinks their job is bullshit and that they're insecure about it. So they either have impostor syndrome or their job is genuinely bullshit.

slampisko@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 255d (6 replies)

In the OP, all the speech bubbles are answers to "What do you do at your job?" I challenge you to try again with that in mind

OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 255d (4 replies)

"I press buttons"

Zozano@aussie.zone · 14 pts · 255d (3 replies)
  • "I analyse sales"
  • "I automate processes"
  • "I create software"
Mossheart@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 255d (2 replies)

I appease Machine-spirits.

Zozano@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 254d (1 reply)

Somehow feels less self-immolating than appeasing billionaire-spirits

Mossheart@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 254d

They're the same picture.

echodot@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 254d

If you ask me what my job is and then you ask for clarification because you don't know what that job is, those are two separate questions.

Just because a person does not understand a job does not mean that it's a BS job. By that logic a cyber security analyst is a BS job. But you would sure as hell would notice if all of them went away.

drath@lemmy.world · 59 pts · 255d (2 replies)

I suck dick

avidamoeba@lemmy.ca · 46 pts · 255d

Nice to see you here Mr. President.

VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 19 pts · 255d

Ah, it's nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 255d (1 reply)

So I either have a bullshit job "I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks" or a real job "I herd electrons"...

icelimit@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 255d

You do math.

frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 40 pts · 255d (5 replies)

Is this really the message we want to send?

Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.

And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.

VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 12 pts · 255d

When I first saw this (maybe years ago), it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.

Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.

SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 255d

Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.

angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com · 7 pts · 255d

Yeah I really don't like the "blue collar good tech bad" undertone here

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 2 pts · 255d
Socialism_Everyday@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 255d

Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution

Couldn't be further from reality. Capitalist firms actively hire the least amount of people possible, because if they can get away with equal production and lower number of employees, that means higher profit.

Capitalism is actually the only system in human history with unemployment: it wasn't a thing in hunter-gatherer society, it wasn't a thing in early agricultural societies, it wasn't a thing during the times of slavery, it wasn't a thing during feudalism, and it hasn't been a thing in any communist nation such as Cuba or the USSR (both guaranteeing jobs to every citizen as a right, and the latter having 10% of all positions vacant from 1970 onward).

Capitalism maintains an unemployed sector of the population because:

  1. Employing more workers costs more money to firms

  2. Having high unemployment decreases wages, improving profits of firms

  3. Having a pool of unemployed people allows firms to spawn, grow and mutate without difficulty of finding workers to do so.

svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 38 pts · 254d (3 replies)

I write code. ✔️ Real job.

I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 16 pts · 254d (1 reply)

I jack lumber.

SirQuack@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 254d

I jack off

missfrizzle@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 253d

I fell trees!

you can use "fell" as a transitive verb. it's a little archaic but sounds cozy.

merc@sh.itjust.works · 38 pts · 255d (3 replies)

Is this a war on being specific?

If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?

If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?

alyth@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 255d
[ removed ]
LumiNocta@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 253d (1 reply)

I guide people

Why is everyone always annoyed at managers?

merc@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 253d

A lot of managers are pretty useless. Some degree of management is needed because you can't just have 10,000 individual contributors all reporting directly to the CEO. But, a lot of managers get where they are by schmoozing, claiming credit, shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, etc.

Novamdomum@fedia.io · 29 pts · 255d (4 replies)

Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?

This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".

phdepressed@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 255d

Yeah as if farmers aren't using gps guidance climate models soil analysis and gmo/selection etc to try and eke out some profit vs the megacorps.

snooggums@piefed.world · 3 pts · 255d

This comic looks like it was drawn by the fisherman.

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 255d

I'm pretty sure that it was definitely not made by anyone who's a fisher.

real_squids@sopuli.xyz · 25 pts · 255d

Grimy@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 255d

I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.

P1k1e@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 255d

I fix shit

cows_are_underrated@feddit.org · 18 pts · 254d (2 replies)

monotremata@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 254d
Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 254d

Everybody do the flop!

hOrni@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 255d

"I hate it". Does this count?

Limonene@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 254d (3 replies)

"Refrigerator Wifi Firmware"

3 words, but my job is still bullshit.

bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 254d

So you're the guy responsible for ads? Get him everyone!

Rooster326@programming.dev · 3 pts · 254d

You are the firmware?

Toes@ani.social · 3 pts · 254d

You’ve been tagged as fridge ads. 🤭

dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 255d (3 replies)

i make websites

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.

ICastFist@programming.dev · 1 pts · 255d (1 reply)

try "I break interfaces"

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 254d

People still prefer our crap over curl for some reason 🤣

BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 255d (5 replies)

Make missiles hit.

Objection@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 255d (4 replies)

Maybe don't.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 255d (2 replies)

You'd think that would help but it probably means they just send more missiles and hit more random things around the target.

Objection@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Maybe they should leak the tech so that everyone's missiles can be more accurate and have less collateral damage. Giving missile targeting systems to, say, Al Qaida is ethical, actually? 🤔

BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

I don't make the targeting systems. I make the carbon fiberhousing for the targeting systems. Deep blue collar job in the bluest collar town you can imagine.

Psionicsickness@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 255d

He’s a fertility doc.

HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Emails and meetings

Karjalan@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 255d

You just successfully described 95% of modern office jobs

myotheraccount@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 254d (2 replies)

I code

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 254d (1 reply)

The requirements said three words, that's how know you're a dev and not a PM pretending to be technical.

MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 254d

"I write code"

Digit@lemmy.wtf · 15 pts · 255d

I make art.

^ real job.

I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.

^ real bullshit job.

Oh what a great system you have there. >:[

Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 255d (1 reply)

My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.

rustyfish@piefed.world · 5 pts · 255d

Same. I don’t work because I like my stupid ass job. I work because I like everything outside my job and some of these things are in dire need of being financed.

magic_lobster_party@fedia.io · 13 pts · 255d

Generate shareholder value

Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 255d (1 reply)

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems."

Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 255d

Fucking cartoonist. You draw pictures. Lol

Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 254d (2 replies)

I jerk off.

vivalapivo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 254d (1 reply)

Almost everybody??

Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 254d

I have a limited number of appointments available. Easy, but not cheap.

BilboBargains@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 255d

OPs has distilled his job title from 'political agitation meme technician' to 'shitposter'.

NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 254d

I fix things.

ethaver@kbin.earth · 10 pts · 255d

Refreshments and Narcotics

(an old joke about registered nurses)

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 255d (9 replies)

Saying "I catch fish" is as descriptive as the first guy saying "sales analyst". Second person is a software developer, third guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you're destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?

Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.

JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 255d (8 replies)

The whole concept is more akin to whether or not you are working directly with the material fruits of your labor, or if you're some secondary or tertiary job to the actual work being done.

Basically, their view is that if you are not directly making the product or apart of the physical logistics for that product, then you're in a bullshit job. I would not say I agree with the philosophy myself, but i kind of get it. 'I farm Corn', 'I Truck frozen food', and 'I catch fish', do exist in a very different realm from 'I manage a team of QA specialists', 'I am an Advertisement Consultant', and 'I contribute to my company's server backend codebase'.

Also, yeah, the 3-word rule of thumb sucks.

Taldan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 255d

The problem, to me, is that not everyone on a boat is catching fish. There are plenty of different roles. It's just that people outside the industry don't have a concept of the nuanced differences between roles, so it gets simplified to "I catch fish" even if they aren't involved in catching fish at all. Most people outside of tech have no idea between the different roles that exist in tech either. It wasn't too long ago where no matter your role in tech, you'd tell laymen, "I work in IT" as a catchall for any technical role

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d (6 replies)

Thank you for your insight.

The concept is still bullshit. You can describe any job in three words to the same extent that "I catch fish" is informative. That's all I'm saying.

Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social · 1 pts · 255d (5 replies)

What does a Astronaut do in 3 words?

exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 255d (3 replies)

Go to space

Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social · 0 pts · 255d (2 replies)

IDK if that checks out.

'Go to house' wouldn't describe what a builder does, nor would 'go to ocean' describe what a fisherman does.

It describes something going to a location, but not what you do.

TIL astronaut is a BS job

elephantium@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 254d

Oh, I think it checks out. Maybe it should be "fly to space" or "fly rocket ships", but the point of the job is the trip. Unless -- hmm. Did explorers of yesteryear have BS jobs, too?

exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 254d

It describes something going to a location, but not what you do.

Going to that location is a much bigger part of the astronaut job than it is any other job you've listed.

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

Vacuum the moon.

thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I move files

Valmond@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 254d

Everything is a file

turdcollector69@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 254d

Cum on camera

OF is a real job

blarghly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 255d

I do things

Samsy@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 254d

I help people.

Cool, I have a real job.

Tom, 32, school crossing guard.

madjo@feddit.nl · 7 pts · 254d (2 replies)

I break software

Hupf@feddit.org · 2 pts · 254d (1 reply)

Hello there, fellow QA

madjo@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 253d

Howdy fellow nightmare for developers

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 255d (4 replies)

I draw lines

Furbag@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 255d

You draw lines? I draw lines, too!

echodot@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 254d (2 replies)

Can you draw three lines perpendicular to each other?

jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 254d

Yes, easily

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 254d

Heck yea, it's computer aided and shit

polle@feddit.org · 6 pts · 254d

I like Turtles.

Diddlydee@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 255d (2 replies)

I can't say.

ICastFist@programming.dev · 1 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Found the glowie

Diddlydee@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 255d

I had to Google what that was. Not as exciting, I'm afraid.

thedoctorlady@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 254d

I heal people

dumbass@piefed.social · 6 pts · 255d

I stack produce

A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 255d

I fix houses.

gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 255d
[ removed ]
vivalapivo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 254d

We need to lower standards. Really. To something like "if your job makes other people worse, it's bullshit work". A lot of good people do stupid job just to put food on the table

Evotech@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 255d

I manage systems

Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 255d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
halvar@lemy.lol · 3 pts · 255d

'of the USA' is one world in some languages. still a bullshit job though

Culf@feddit.dk · 4 pts · 254d (2 replies)

I build PCs

jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 254d (1 reply)

Acronyms don't count, otherwise the two bullshit job dudes could just say "I'm an SFSA" and "I create BDRSs".

Obi@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 254d

Fine, "I build computers".

blackris@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I know it is a shitpost but this fucking fisherman that kills animals and destroys our environment. He is the worst. Fuck you fisherman!

No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 255d

He also leaves nets in the sea when they tangle, because plastic is cheap and fuck the ocean is their preferred pronoun.

ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 255d

That art style reminds me of hotline miami

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 254d

I Beer Lego

ToxicWaste@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 255d

still bad quality. but compression hasn't gotten that bad yet...

OldBoy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 254d

I photograph bones ☠️

QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 255d

test

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 253d (1 reply)

I suck dicks

ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 1 pts · 253d

Presidential material right here, folks.

MehBlah@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 254d (5 replies)

Sysadmin or if you insist Systems Administrator.

Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 253d (4 replies)

My printer is acting crazy, I know it's your lunch, but can you help me out?

stevedice@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 253d

DM'd you the solution

Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 253d (1 reply)

I tried unplugging it, but now I don't even have an error light.

1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 253d

Nvm I fixed it thanks

MehBlah@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 253d

Situations like this are what the DND button on my phone was made for.

Boppel@feddit.org · 3 pts · 255d

i catch fish (and then they rot on his ship, because thats all he does)

Empricorn@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 254d

I fix/break things.

Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 254d

Audio Visual! My job is so much fun!

Yukily@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 254d (2 replies)

I do nothing

JargonWagon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 254d (1 reply)

✅ Real job

Yukily@jlai.lu · 1 pts · 254d

Thx

QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 254d

grocery in bag

for my other... thing?

study and cry

Ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 255d

I pull beef

Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 255d

I temper glass.

ComradePenguin@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 253d

Make websites brrrrr

Pika@rekabu.ru · 2 pts · 254d

Finding better microbes

sirico@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 253d

I do job, I now also do job that's a bit like my job, I now also do John's job,I now also do Jane's job, I now also do the third party's job. I'm a developer I'm a devops technology admin engineer receptionist oh and just now cleaner as well

halvar@lemy.lol · 2 pts · 255d (1 reply)

ironically these examples are pretty close to what would actually qualify as bullshit job

wioum@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d

And here i was about to go pro gooner 🤦

OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d

I manufacture biologics.

pyre@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 254d

i design graphics

zerofk@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 254d

I make babies.

yakko@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 255d

I verb nouns

Zorniac@leminal.space · 2 pts · 254d

I fix equipment

StrongHorseWeakNeigh@piefed.social · 2 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I shop for people

DarkAri@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 255d

Stay away Roman slaver!

Noodle07@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d

I pay sickleaves.. That's 3 words right ?

CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 255d (2 replies)

I Funeral Home...

Fuck.

Saledovil@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I bury corpses.

Hmm, that actually sounds like you run body disposal for organized crime.

CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 255d

Also I don't. I am not a funeral director and the cemetery does that. I do paperwork, make cards and signs, pay bills, move bodies and make sure they are where they are supposed to be.

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 255d

I melt plastic?

frog_brawler@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d
[ removed ]
No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

Numeric question answering.

RabbitMix@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 253d
[ removed ]
Honytawk@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 255d (2 replies)

If someone is willing to pay you enough to live for a bullshit job, is it really a bullshit job?

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 2 pts · 255d

Yes.

Though I don't agree with that person's definition of "bullshit job". Read Bullshit Jobs (the book) if you haven't, the website has all or most of its contents.

ICastFist@programming.dev · 1 pts · 255d

That makes it even more bullshit because the person paying knows it's bullshit.