If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.
There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.
I think demeaning or belittling are the old timey terms for the same behavior. Negging is just the term when it’s used as a strategy by incel/pickup culture assholes.
Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying "okay, cheers".
However, we humans do crave drama, and I've been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespearean tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it's all fake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Red flag? "This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry" is way more than you'll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could've told them sooner, but I also don't know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.
Regardless, saying "Thank God" when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.
The proper and respectful way to cancel a date would be to say - for example - "look, I've thought this through and I am not feeling it, I changed my mind about further dates, I appreciate the time you spent with me & I wish you all the best!"
The red flag here is mentioning someone "promising" and not wanting to miss the opportunity. It says in the same words "you are not a promising character". The comparison is the hurtful thing you don't say out loud if you want to be respectful of someone's feelings.
And the proper respectful thing would be to give the person you're cancelling with more notice than an hour before hand, and only after they contacted you to confirm.
Obviously you shouldn't cancel on someone because something more interesting came along. But I would say telling them that's the reason is worse than just not giving one or making up something.
i think i was referencing a movie or tv show scene when a guy was trying to be progressive and when they were talking about an unknown person, he kept going "he ... OR SHE did this or that"
Youre blaming them for not responding for 30min? Im happy when people reply the same day, same goes for me. And Im glad people arent so obsessed with their phones that theyre constantly available.
My mom once blew up at me because I didn't respond to her text for 23.5 hours.
"Sorry to bother you. I thought you might give a fuck but I see I was mistaken. I won't bother you again."
She didn't call, she didn't email, she just sent a text and then exploded when I didn't respond (because I didn't see it).
Anyways, she's blocked now--I don't want to make a liar out of my mother, so I won't let her bother me.
If grey's other opportunity didn't work out, they probably would have unashamedly reached out to green again for a new date, if that exchange hadn't happened.
Non-zero chance they will anyways, especially if grey is a guy.
Though I had a woman get surprised and upset when I declined a 3rd reschedule after she went uncommunicative twice when I asked the "we still on today?". Apparently she didn't have a mobile plan or internet at home and had to go to some public WiFi to communicate and both times had shit come up with her kids, though the second time was her son's birthday party, which isn't something that generally just pops up on you by surprise. It's not even punishment, just the emotional rollercoaster before we even had a first date killed any interest in having a good relationship with her, just like that cancelation message in the OP would have.
Vaguely related story:
Back in the Olden Times before ubiquitous wifi and data plans, I had a friend cancel on me after I'd already gotten in the light rail to meet him an hour away. He didn't call or text, just emailed, so I looked for him for almost an hour before giving up.
Turns out he'd emailed me then was at the hospital with a friend who'd gone into labor, and didn't have his phone with him (so didn't get my calls or texts).
My partner (who'd come with to meet my high school friend) and I had a good time in DC anyway. We went to a geeky bookstore and a nice cafe.
I hate people now. Nobody wants to keep their commitments. You can invite people to an event and they will all say yes, until a more enticing thing comes along and the flake on you last minute. If you say yes, be there, tell the other person “sorry I already made plans that day” like an adult
Most of the time it's not like they are meeting other people. The commitments are like family visits every other week, traveling, studying, fixing something at home and so on. Occasionally it's some birthday party or something. It's mostly that everyone is busy all the time. Which I do understand but it takes a lot of of effort to organize something.
You mean doodle? It still exists but since polls are literally built into every messaging app now, its obsolete. It could be relevant if you have a one-time meeting with people who dont know each other and dont have a common messaging app.
Don't remember the name but I used it couple of times in corpo settings. I think it weird that we have to organize meetings with couple of friends the same way we organized team buildings. I mean, weekends are for resting. Why everyone has everything booked months in advance? I spend every weekend actively but I don't have a lot of plans that I can't drop to meet someone.
I for one will not invite you for anything if I don't want to do it with you. I also will not accept an invitation to do anything that I don't want to do with you. I greatly enjoy my own company and have a lot of things I love to do by myself. More people would be happier if they would learn to like themselves and found some hobbies.
“A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.
The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.
Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.
The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.
Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”
The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
The only reason grey is in the won't is for not giving more notice. Like either cancel earlier or plan your other date on another night in the first place. Calling that "horrible" is a but strong IMO. Definitely rude and inconsiderate but dating is completely unpredictable these days.
Grey didn't value Green's time, even stated someone better came along. Green responded with shade in response for this lack of respect, Grey had a crash out because her lesser choice had teeth.
I mean, for most of the post they tried not to and a single "her" fell out. Something to consider.
I feel it is an interesting question though. I too assigned genders while reading this the first time so is it naturally ingrained in me? Or is it because of the first person POV of text message exchanges like this?
Are women reading this and assuming the other way around? Would a different format (eg changing the bubbles to other side, or paragraph format like in a novel) change who we think is which gender?
I try to be impartial, but each misstep online gets hammered on hard because apparently you need to be perfect for the imperfect themselves. Changing now would just be admitting to something i"m not so you cannot win. Shrugs I do my best and try to not let small mistakes turn into mountains.
As well I see other people posting the grey is female initially so that might have influenced me and I didn't see anyone else calling them out.
I must be weird, or maybe it's because I used to date someone like Grey, but the impression I got about green is not that they said that because they didn't want to go out anyway, it was that they were glad grey revealed themselves to be uninterested in them even if it was kind of in a sleazeball way, acting like it was just fine to cancel last minute to go be with someone else.
More like green was happy grey pretty much just sent up a red flag and confirmed that they dodged a bullet.
I mean its 95% fake but it doesnt really make a difference for discussing it as if it was real.
I think it deoends on the relationship between the two and the kind of meeting they had planned. If its a date and grey bailed for an other date, thats really shitty. If it was a casual meetup between friends and grey bailed for a dating opportunity, its not that shitty and green was a bit rude with the follow-up, but again depends on their relationship and how they usually communicate. In any case, the last few messages are completrly overboard.
Maybe they were pals and Green was saying "thank God" in a good-natured "yay, you finally got a date, happy for you bruh" manner but the response went right over Grey's head and led Grey to make a total ass of themself.
Eh, even taking the must charitable view for the canceller, you could also bee charitable to the other one and say that everyone feels relief at cancelled social plans
Hm, not sure I understand what you mean? I dont think its common to feel relieved about cancelled plans. If you dont want to meet, why make plans in the first place?
Its very common for people with ADHD, autism, depression or some other mental problems that fuck with your executive function and mental capacity. And considering how technical and niche Lemmy is, I'd wager that about 50% of the userbase fall under any of those categories.
Their ego was flying high, having choices, only to come crashing down when one was relieved to get rid of her, LOL. Now she'll go on her "opportunity" date, and be all sullen and pouty, and ruin that one, too.
We can’t know for certain based on one single conversation. We don’t know the dynamic between these two. We don’t know the intent behind the “thank god” comment. We don’t know if the response was an overreaction, something that’s been building between these two, or what.
It wouldn’t be smart to make a judgement in this case because we lack full context.
I really don't think teal did anything wrong, in fact I think it would have been wrong to keep it to themself. Too much shitty behavior going unchallenged in our world these days imo.
Fair enough. I'd have gone with a more generic message like "something came up." instead of "sorry you were my backup option but you are no longer needed for tonight."
Oh, grey absolutely could have done way better. That was rude and inhumane. I just don't think teal did anything wrong by expressing that it's a relief to not be connected to a person who would act like grey.
The impression I get is that teal and grey have been hooking up casually for a while and have been open in their discussions about actively looking for other people. Teal's "thank god" is a call back to grey's consistent difficulty finding s suitible partner or complaints about being unable to find one. Grey then responds with faux outrage.
I've had these sorts of message back and forth with fwbs before, but even meaner. They're hilarious
ive got to wonder what benefit holding these broad generalizations to heart has on a person. i realize we all have our hang ups, but applying a gendered lens to every little thing seems tedious and arbitrary.
150 Comments
Snowclone@lemmy.world · 181 pts · 99d
teal really proved living well is the best revenge.
PP_BOY_@lemmy.world · 132 pts · 99d
Neither one is someone I want to talk to but grey really should've just put the phone down and focused on that promising opportunity
sheridan@lemmy.world · 79 pts · 99d
I don't think grey actually has another "opportunity". This feels like a negging tactic to me.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 30 pts · 99d
Remind me what negging is again
aGlassDarkly@piefed.zip · 52 pts · 99d
If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.
There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 5 pts · 99d
That's right, thanks. I haven't heard it in awhile
anomnom@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 99d
I think demeaning or belittling are the old timey terms for the same behavior. Negging is just the term when it’s used as a strategy by incel/pickup culture assholes.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 2 pts · 99d
Gotcha. That makes sense
Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 31 pts · 99d
Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying "okay, cheers".
However, we humans do crave drama, and I've been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespearean tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it's all fake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 99d
Having someone show their red flag this early warrants a "thank god" methinks. Also, "thank the flying spaghetti monster" is more like it.
papalonian@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 99d
Christ alive, y'all are some enlightened individuals. *tips fedora*
SandmanXC@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 99d
Spelled Chris wrong, buddy.
UniversalBasicJustice@quokk.au · 3 pts · 99d
I'd throw in a Hail Satan for good measure tbh
PP_BOY_@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 99d
Red flag? "This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry" is way more than you'll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could've told them sooner, but I also don't know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.
Regardless, saying "Thank God" when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 99d
The proper and respectful way to cancel a date would be to say - for example - "look, I've thought this through and I am not feeling it, I changed my mind about further dates, I appreciate the time you spent with me & I wish you all the best!"
The red flag here is mentioning someone "promising" and not wanting to miss the opportunity. It says in the same words "you are not a promising character". The comparison is the hurtful thing you don't say out loud if you want to be respectful of someone's feelings.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 98d
And the proper respectful thing would be to give the person you're cancelling with more notice than an hour before hand, and only after they contacted you to confirm.
MisterFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 97d
Not sure if I'd count what Green did as bad, in any way.
Petty, maybe, but justice demanded grey have some social consequences for their behaviour, and green most certainly delivered.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 99d
I hope they got in such a tizzy over this that it ruined their "plans with someone else" cause they showed up all sour.
Dating culture is so toxic, I'm glad it's just me and my cat these days...
butwhyishischinabook@anarchist.nexus · 88 pts · 99d
Grey is definitely in the wrong, that's exactly when you should have used a white lie but they were being a huge dick.
Danquebec@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 99d
Being dishonest about it would have been way worse.
But grey's reaction after that is ridiculous.
KombatWombat@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 99d
Obviously you shouldn't cancel on someone because something more interesting came along. But I would say telling them that's the reason is worse than just not giving one or making up something.
Danquebec@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 99d
Yea I'm going to clarify my comment: of course, cancelling for this reason is a dick move.
But I stand by that: being honest about being a dick is better than making up excuses.
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 70 pts · 99d
Greens response could've meant (s)he had a busy day at work and was glad to put their feet up. The bluntness met have been unintended.
Grey then exploded and made it a problem, showing that green actually dodged a bullet.
meekah@discuss.tchncs.de · 46 pts · 99d
✨they✨
Klear@quokk.au · 32 pts · 99d
(t)hey
sem@piefed.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 99d
(t)heyyy
Klear@quokk.au · 10 pts · 99d
(w)hat's the name of that doc?
rapchee@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 99d
he ... OR SHE
MyButSmellsBat@feddit.org · 13 pts · 99d
✨they✨
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq5xLI77TGA
rapchee@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 99d
i think i was referencing a movie or tv show scene when a guy was trying to be progressive and when they were talking about an unknown person, he kept going "he ... OR SHE did this or that"
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 98d
I thought you were referencing this bit by comedian James Acaster: https://youtu.be/Zt5qJC1xQ8A
rapchee@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 98d
yes, this, i converted this into a scene in my memories lol
Hazel@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 99d
https://youtu.be/a-0iaC-1_Fo
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 98d
(s(t))he(y)
meekah@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 98d
That doesn't make a lot of sense. The T could only be there when the S is also there. I think what you're going for would look more like
(s/t)he(y)
Or maybe
(s)(t)he(y)
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 97d
I mean it was a joke but yeah (s/t)he(y) works better
meekah@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 97d
I know it was a joke, I wouldn't have suggested better alternatives otherwise haha
KaChilde@sh.itjust.works · -5 pts · 99d
Counterpoint: Grey’s responses take a solid 30 mins. Green does not bother to clarify what they meant that entire time.
Did green go overboard? Yes. Could grey have communicated at all? Also Yes.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 13 pts · 99d
Maybe they died?
captcha@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz · 8 pts · 99d
Of cringe, checks out
smh@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 99d
or were commuting home, having texted as soon as they got off work
sem@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 99d
I can't find it, but there's a webcomic where stick figure guy sends a text, and then immediately throws his phone off a cliff.
tomi000@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 99d
Youre blaming them for not responding for 30min? Im happy when people reply the same day, same goes for me. And Im glad people arent so obsessed with their phones that theyre constantly available.
smh@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 99d
My mom once blew up at me because I didn't respond to her text for 23.5 hours.
She didn't call, she didn't email, she just sent a text and then exploded when I didn't respond (because I didn't see it). Anyways, she's blocked now--I don't want to make a liar out of my mother, so I won't let her bother me.
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 99d
Everyone in this thread who is too stupid to realize this is fake rage bait.
polydactyl@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 98d
As is your comment. Rage bait within rage bait. Meta rage bait. Ragebaitception. Ragebaiturducken. I see you.
MadhuGururajan@programming.dev · 11 pts · 99d
Have you ever considered that other people are smart enough to realize it's probably a hypothetical scenario?
therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 97d
The important thing is that you found a way to appear superior to everyone.
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 61 pts · 99d
The one who flaked, and then said that there were better options. I’d respond just like the one who luckily got away.
“Hey, I’m so sorry to do this, but, something came up”.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 18 pts · 99d
"Excuse me?!? You're supposed to be absolutely crushed by me blowing you off! I'm clearly in the right and you should be upset about it."
Green dodged a bullet.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 98d
If grey's other opportunity didn't work out, they probably would have unashamedly reached out to green again for a new date, if that exchange hadn't happened.
Non-zero chance they will anyways, especially if grey is a guy.
Though I had a woman get surprised and upset when I declined a 3rd reschedule after she went uncommunicative twice when I asked the "we still on today?". Apparently she didn't have a mobile plan or internet at home and had to go to some public WiFi to communicate and both times had shit come up with her kids, though the second time was her son's birthday party, which isn't something that generally just pops up on you by surprise. It's not even punishment, just the emotional rollercoaster before we even had a first date killed any interest in having a good relationship with her, just like that cancelation message in the OP would have.
smh@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 98d
oof, that sucks.
Vaguely related story: Back in the Olden Times before ubiquitous wifi and data plans, I had a friend cancel on me after I'd already gotten in the light rail to meet him an hour away. He didn't call or text, just emailed, so I looked for him for almost an hour before giving up.
Turns out he'd emailed me then was at the hospital with a friend who'd gone into labor, and didn't have his phone with him (so didn't get my calls or texts).
My partner (who'd come with to meet my high school friend) and I had a good time in DC anyway. We went to a geeky bookstore and a nice cafe.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 99d
I hate people now. Nobody wants to keep their commitments. You can invite people to an event and they will all say yes, until a more enticing thing comes along and the flake on you last minute. If you say yes, be there, tell the other person “sorry I already made plans that day” like an adult
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 19 pts · 99d
For me the issue is that everyone is always busy.
Me: hey, how about we meet next Friday
Person1: I can only do Sunday from 17 to 19
Person2: I can only do Saturday
Person3: I can do Sunday but from 19 to 21
Person4: I can only do the Friday after that
Or even better, they take 5 days to reply and in the end say something came up.
But once I manage to find the one date that fits most people and plan something people do show up.
zqps@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 99d
Yeah I mean that makes sense, your friends respect prior commitments.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 1 pts · 98d
Most of the time it's not like they are meeting other people. The commitments are like family visits every other week, traveling, studying, fixing something at home and so on. Occasionally it's some birthday party or something. It's mostly that everyone is busy all the time. Which I do understand but it takes a lot of of effort to organize something.
zqps@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 97d
Studying and fixing something at home I can see, those you typically move around as needed. The other are prior commitments that you don't.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 99d
Edit: right, Doodle
And wouldn't this also work as a local-wifi-only mobile app?
tomi000@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 99d
You mean doodle? It still exists but since polls are literally built into every messaging app now, its obsolete. It could be relevant if you have a one-time meeting with people who dont know each other and dont have a common messaging app.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 99d
Matrix too? But yes, that one.
zqps@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 99d
If you're German (or not), use https://nuudel.digitalcourage.de/ instead.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 1 pts · 99d
Don't remember the name but I used it couple of times in corpo settings. I think it weird that we have to organize meetings with couple of friends the same way we organized team buildings. I mean, weekends are for resting. Why everyone has everything booked months in advance? I spend every weekend actively but I don't have a lot of plans that I can't drop to meet someone.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 99d
The secret of keeping self-organization flexible. Most people are less sensible to stress than us.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 99d
I for one will not invite you for anything if I don't want to do it with you. I also will not accept an invitation to do anything that I don't want to do with you. I greatly enjoy my own company and have a lot of things I love to do by myself. More people would be happier if they would learn to like themselves and found some hobbies.
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 48 pts · 99d
I am for having read this. Doubly for commenting,
Klear@quokk.au · 9 pts · 99d
Hahaha, sucker!
...
wait, shit
zqps@sh.itjust.works · 47 pts · 99d
Although rude, I appreciate when people tell me outright I'm not a priority for them. So I can adjust my own.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 46 pts · 99d
Mmm the ragebait tastes so good though I feel righteous and angered
saimen@feddit.org · 38 pts · 98d
Sommehow reminds me of this story:
chunes@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 99d
I don't get why people are confused about this.
Grey was horrible human being first. Green's reply was a response that horribleness. It's not like green was genuinely waiting to spring that.
...probably.
Kommeavsted@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 97d
The only reason grey is in the won't is for not giving more notice. Like either cancel earlier or plan your other date on another night in the first place. Calling that "horrible" is a but strong IMO. Definitely rude and inconsiderate but dating is completely unpredictable these days.
fartographer@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 99d
Damn right they deserve to be free from that kind of personality
BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 30 pts · 99d
Grey didn't value Green's time, even stated someone better came along. Green responded with shade in response for this lack of respect, Grey had a crash out because her lesser choice had teeth.
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 99d
Interesting you feel that was the her. There at no genders stated.
blarth@thelemmy.club · 13 pts · 98d
This is an /r/SipsTea male rage bait post, of course the chuds think it’s about them.
KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 98d
I mean, for most of the post they tried not to and a single "her" fell out. Something to consider.
I feel it is an interesting question though. I too assigned genders while reading this the first time so is it naturally ingrained in me? Or is it because of the first person POV of text message exchanges like this?
Are women reading this and assuming the other way around? Would a different format (eg changing the bubbles to other side, or paragraph format like in a novel) change who we think is which gender?
BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 98d
I try to be impartial, but each misstep online gets hammered on hard because apparently you need to be perfect for the imperfect themselves. Changing now would just be admitting to something i"m not so you cannot win. Shrugs I do my best and try to not let small mistakes turn into mountains.
As well I see other people posting the grey is female initially so that might have influenced me and I didn't see anyone else calling them out.
ColonelSanders@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 98d
I must be weird, or maybe it's because I used to date someone like Grey, but the impression I got about green is not that they said that because they didn't want to go out anyway, it was that they were glad grey revealed themselves to be uninterested in them even if it was kind of in a sleazeball way, acting like it was just fine to cancel last minute to go be with someone else.
More like green was happy grey pretty much just sent up a red flag and confirmed that they dodged a bullet.
Dozzi92@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 98d
Was that not the point we were supposed to take away from this?!
Love your chicken, by the way.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 98d
Gray does not understand the relief of cancelled plans.
PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 98d
"Cancelling plans is like heroin." -John Mulaney
Pacattack57@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 98d
It is literally like being told you can leave work early and still get paid.
SunshineJogger@feddit.org · 21 pts · 99d
That's the best answer he gave. Based on the limited, implication based knowledge we have of this conversation we don't even know is real or staged.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 99d
Of course it's real, there's literally a photo. The day we can fake things like that will be a dark day indeed.
nightlily@leminal.space · 18 pts · 98d
See this is the variety of shitpost where it’s just a shit post.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 99d
Most likely, statistically, they're both shitty people.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 99d
That's my take.
texture@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 99d
what did green do wrong?
Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 99d
British
texture@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 98d
how did you figure that out? genuine
possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 99d
Massive sin right there.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 99d
He knows exactly what he did.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe · -6 pts · 99d
Born male.
tomi000@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 99d
I mean its 95% fake but it doesnt really make a difference for discussing it as if it was real.
I think it deoends on the relationship between the two and the kind of meeting they had planned. If its a date and grey bailed for an other date, thats really shitty. If it was a casual meetup between friends and grey bailed for a dating opportunity, its not that shitty and green was a bit rude with the follow-up, but again depends on their relationship and how they usually communicate. In any case, the last few messages are completrly overboard.
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 99d
Maybe they were pals and Green was saying "thank God" in a good-natured "yay, you finally got a date, happy for you bruh" manner but the response went right over Grey's head and led Grey to make a total ass of themself.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 98d
Though if that were the case, I'd figure they'd clear that up rather than no reply and posting the screenshot.
tomi000@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 99d
Oh I didnt even think of that.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 99d
Eh, even taking the must charitable view for the canceller, you could also bee charitable to the other one and say that everyone feels relief at cancelled social plans
tomi000@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 98d
Hm, not sure I understand what you mean? I dont think its common to feel relieved about cancelled plans. If you dont want to meet, why make plans in the first place?
Jako302@feddit.org · 7 pts · 98d
Its very common for people with ADHD, autism, depression or some other mental problems that fuck with your executive function and mental capacity. And considering how technical and niche Lemmy is, I'd wager that about 50% of the userbase fall under any of those categories.
tomi000@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 98d
Oh that may be, doesnt mean its common overall. But I still dont understand the comment I answered to, can someone translate?
wavebeam@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 98d
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 98d
Get em!
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 97d
I want the credit for hanging out without actually hanging out.
tomi000@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 97d
What credit? Who needs you to hang out with people besides you and them?
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 97d
Credit with the person who bailed!
tomi000@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 97d
Ah I understand
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 98d
Didn't mean to universalize but this is a common reaction. Part of my more charitable read
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 98d
Tell me you got banned from reddit and miss it dearly without telling me
BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 97d
Woman bad. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 99d
Also green could have meant "thank god you found someone good luck"
OrgunDonor@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 99d
The Lmao negates this. This is definitely a thank god I don't have to go on a date with you.
texture@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 99d
"thank god i didnt waste my time going on a date with someone who would treat me like this lmao"
seems totally reasonable to me
blarth@thelemmy.club · 2 pts · 98d
Can all of you just stop reacting to stupid rage bait please?
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 99d
chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 99d
Nah, that's just your biases in this scenario. That's not in the text
sem@piefed.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 99d
I ain't sayin she's a golddigger
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 99d
Lmao, the other person for sure. There's no reason to lose your shit like that
DankDingleberry@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 98d
stop posting ragebait this isnt reddit
Slayan@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 99d
Grey is faking outrage to get out of the situation
Djehngo@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 99d
Grey is already out of the situation by message 3, everything after that is just lashing out due to a bruised ego.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe · 4 pts · 99d
Their ego was flying high, having choices, only to come crashing down when one was relieved to get rid of her, LOL. Now she'll go on her "opportunity" date, and be all sullen and pouty, and ruin that one, too.
Hilarious.
timestatic@feddit.org · 10 pts · 98d
Assuming this is not made up obviously grey is in the wrong
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 99d
Could've been, "Thank God, you found a promising opportunity. Hope it goes well".
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 99d
No, he said Lmao. She dumped him after he lost his. job.
captcha@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz · 8 pts · 99d
Did they lose their. job. though?
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 99d
Oh, he said out of work, not...oof
qualia@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 97d
OP, for the drama bait. Woof.
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 99d
We can’t know for certain based on one single conversation. We don’t know the dynamic between these two. We don’t know the intent behind the “thank god” comment. We don’t know if the response was an overreaction, something that’s been building between these two, or what.
It wouldn’t be smart to make a judgement in this case because we lack full context.
urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 99d
Beep bop ai
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 99d
FishFace@piefed.social · 5 pts · 99d
You
Starduster75@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 99d
Their parents.
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 99d
Both half wrong imo. I'm relatively new to the whole dating and multi dating thing but what I've come up with is:
Never ghost if you've made plans or texted a lot off app (so points to other person for actually cancelling)
Don't rub it in people's face that you're seeing other people but be honest if asked (negative points to other person)
Accept rejection gracefully with no hard feelings. I got ghosted recently and struggled with this one but stayed strong.
Any tips appreciated though because it can be tough out there.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip · 37 pts · 99d
I really don't think teal did anything wrong, in fact I think it would have been wrong to keep it to themself. Too much shitty behavior going unchallenged in our world these days imo.
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 99d
Fair enough. I'd have gone with a more generic message like "something came up." instead of "sorry you were my backup option but you are no longer needed for tonight."
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 99d
Oh, grey absolutely could have done way better. That was rude and inhumane. I just don't think teal did anything wrong by expressing that it's a relief to not be connected to a person who would act like grey.
blarghly@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 99d
The impression I get is that teal and grey have been hooking up casually for a while and have been open in their discussions about actively looking for other people. Teal's "thank god" is a call back to grey's consistent difficulty finding s suitible partner or complaints about being unable to find one. Grey then responds with faux outrage.
I've had these sorts of message back and forth with fwbs before, but even meaner. They're hilarious
KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 99d
Fake outrage isn’t spread out over a half hour…
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 0 pts · 99d
Nice fanfic, but next time stick to the prompt
BaraCoded@literature.cafe · 3 pts · 99d
Grey is scum
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 99d
He probably knew he dodged a goldigger.
texture@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 99d
we dont know their gender at all
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · -4 pts · 99d
The behavior is very male coded.
The moronic thank God lmao.
He is and Millennial as well.
Everything together reads moron dodges...to be fair, could be a dude. But....
Something about that genuinely go to hell, you are scum.
Very woman codded.
Mesophar@pawb.social · 5 pts · 99d
It's funny, I read it exactly opposite to that. Almost like we can't know their genders just from this.
texture@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 98d
ive got to wonder what benefit holding these broad generalizations to heart has on a person. i realize we all have our hang ups, but applying a gendered lens to every little thing seems tedious and arbitrary.
andrewmsc@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 99d
sundray@lemmus.org · -3 pts · 99d
I don't know, but both of them should be forced to wear a bell around their necks.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · -8 pts · 99d
Gray in the wrong but teal should've elaborated on the thank god message
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works · 50 pts · 99d
Nah, it's way funnier that they didn't.
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 20 pts · 99d
Yep. Just leave them on read, and let that shit simmer.
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 99d
Also it's 8 PM. The thank god is probably just "thank god I don't have to do anything else today, I'm tired of work and want to just switch off"
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 99d
Why?