I'm sure having a newborn is plenty stressful as it is, no need to take away another way of him to be able to relieve stress. Sure, she might not have that luxury, but having two stressed parents is worse than one.
Instead of making everyone equally miserable, here's another suggestion: The father can now use his increased capacity to take away as much of the mother's stress as he can. Seems like a much more reasonable solution to me than unnecessarily increasing stress levels of the father.
Imagine setting this this for a nice long dick lick every couple seconds until it's been an hour and you're just quivering from the sheer excitement that with the next lick or the one after that you're finally going to shoot the biggest ropes of your life and just at the point the ai embedded in it asks for your credit card information so it can charge you twenty bucks to cum?
I’d expect Cattle Decap level deathgrind or some Hot Topic grade incelcore with shit solos and too many calls to “open this fucking pit up”, no inbetween.
Eh that wouldn't work on me. Being told that I can't cum kinda causes it... And if I've been getting edged for a while, yeah vocals can be enough. Violently.
I guess I'd have cucked the machine? Is that a new sub-genre of kink? What a weird world we live in.
Nah nah. When they say "go fuck yourself" and you reply "too late", drop trough and pull the tentacle out of your ass, then offer for them to take a whiff.
Then you lunge at them with Mr. Grippy, and chase them around the restaurant. Mr. Grippy don't take no shit. Well, in a matter of speaking. It is 3 feet long after all... But that's their problem now.
IMHO access to sex isn't a good way to encourage/discourage birth rate. Modern people are aware that they'll have more sex if they don't have kids. The desire for sex isn't the same as the desire to reproduce.
The problem is solved by addressing its root causes.
I misread a letter on "a real human lick" (guess which one of course it's that one) and it frankly makes more economic sense to use it for that instead of as a tongue
124 Comments
FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 190 pts · 74d
Tony is a dumbass
NONE_dc@lemmy.world · 117 pts · 74d
Tony lacks imagination.
deacon@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 74d
Or Tony is, like me, a human who takes pride in his work.
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 73d
Look, there isn't always going to be someone there kicking Tony's ass.
Tony better stfu.
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 73d
I AM THE ONE WHO LICKS
- tony probably
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 73d
Think again.
mrmisses@lemmy.world · 166 pts · 74d
For robot blow jobs, Tony. You fucking idiot.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 46 pts · 74d
you can do so much more with tongues
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 44 pts · 74d
Rim jobs?
mrmisses@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 74d
Oh yeah forgot about rim jobs. Fucking Tony
hemmes@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 74d
Don’t forget the balls!
ICastFist@programming.dev · 4 pts · 73d
Instructions unclear, got my tongue stuck in a wheel
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 74d
Like?
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 73d
And subscribe
ICastFist@programming.dev · 3 pts · 73d
Can't I domscribe instead?
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 73d
Nipples, clitotis, anus… there are a lot of things
Probably French kiss as well
FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip · 110 pts · 74d
What a fascinating combination of posts
urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · -18 pts · 73d
Dude should be solidary to his wife and stop jerking
meekah@discuss.tchncs.de · 18 pts · 73d
When she suffers, so should he? What?
I'm sure having a newborn is plenty stressful as it is, no need to take away another way of him to be able to relieve stress. Sure, she might not have that luxury, but having two stressed parents is worse than one.
urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · -15 pts · 73d
Yeah well its only fair
Holyginz@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 73d
Not a good mindset
urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · -15 pts · 73d
Not a good opinion
sukhmel@programming.dev · 4 pts · 73d
But you presented it anyway
meekah@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 73d
Life isn't fair. Get used to it.
Instead of making everyone equally miserable, here's another suggestion: The father can now use his increased capacity to take away as much of the mother's stress as he can. Seems like a much more reasonable solution to me than unnecessarily increasing stress levels of the father.
urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · 0 pts · 73d
But how will he do that if he'd jacking off all the time?
Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 73d
Women can still masturbate after giving birth you weirdo. You just shouldn't have penetrative sex for a few weeks.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 67 pts · 74d
Stamps. Flipping pages. Unattended ice cream. Windows. Linda.
Zachariah@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 74d
wewbull@feddit.uk · 14 pts · 74d
Come to daddy
StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 73d
Always here for an aphex twin reference
Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 73d
I want your soul
DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 6 pts · 74d
Come on then you funny little man.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 73d
This is what paper sacks were made for.
laut_sprecher@feddit.org · 13 pts · 74d
And here i was operating windows with my mouse all this time…
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 65 pts · 74d
Imagine setting this this for a nice long dick lick every couple seconds until it's been an hour and you're just quivering from the sheer excitement that with the next lick or the one after that you're finally going to shoot the biggest ropes of your life and just at the point the ai embedded in it asks for your credit card information so it can charge you twenty bucks to cum?
edinbruh@feddit.it · 50 pts · 74d
If this kind of Pay Per Cum business model worked, hypno content creators would have already capitalized on it
hydrashok@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 74d
Sponsored by OnlyFans.
slaacaa@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d
PPC
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 73d
The Ruined Orgasm machine
swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 73d
Cool band name
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 73d
I’d expect Cattle Decap level deathgrind or some Hot Topic grade incelcore with shit solos and too many calls to “open this fucking pit up”, no inbetween.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 73d
Eh that wouldn't work on me. Being told that I can't cum kinda causes it... And if I've been getting edged for a while, yeah vocals can be enough. Violently.
I guess I'd have cucked the machine? Is that a new sub-genre of kink? What a weird world we live in.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 74d
So, a cash machine?
aketawi@quokk.au · 2 pts · 73d
so if you refuse to pay does it keep you gooning for the rest of eternity
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 53 pts · 74d
Nice. Now llm can literally eat my ass.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 73d
Only thing it is good at doing.
crazycraw@crazypeople.online · 51 pts · 74d
Tony does not understand vaginas.
Don't be like Tony.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 25 pts · 74d
be a vagina
sundray@lemmus.org · 18 pts · 74d
I'm trying!!!
0ops@piefed.zip · 16 pts · 74d
✨ Abracadussy, you're now a pussy! ✨
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 73d
Meow
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 73d
Are you trying to steal @Kolanaki@pawb.social 's niche, or are you his alt?
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 8 pts · 73d
Is this how you find out there's a whole community of furries and I'm not the only one? 🤔
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 73d
XD
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 73d
No, I iust thought you were the only sarcastic furry on Earth, apparently.
I'm very "intimately" familiar with furries.
Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 73d
"Yer a wizard sleeve, Harry!"
crazycraw@crazypeople.online · 8 pts · 74d
so when I say "go fuck yourself" it's really just wishful thinking on my end.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 73d
Nah nah. When they say "go fuck yourself" and you reply "too late", drop trough and pull the tentacle out of your ass, then offer for them to take a whiff.
Then you lunge at them with Mr. Grippy, and chase them around the restaurant. Mr. Grippy don't take no shit. Well, in a matter of speaking. It is 3 feet long after all... But that's their problem now.
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social · 2 pts · 73d
Just think invertopenis and you can't go too far wrong.
stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 73d
nicolauz@feddit.org · 9 pts · 73d
Given that God clearly is a cunt, I'm down with that
bilb@lemmy.ml · -3 pts · 73d
god doesn't exist, fundie 🙄
(edited to add, in order to not upset anyone unduly: this comment is made in jest.)
nicolauz@feddit.org · 7 pts · 73d
Given how certain you seem, I'll take the uno reverse card and say: no! You fundie!
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 73d
I'm a theist agnostic because I, nor anyone, can prove or disprove the existence of a God.
Lord743@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 73d
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 73d
Good.
Etterra@discuss.online · 27 pts · 73d
Well you see, when a person gets very lonely...
bl4ckp1xx13@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 25 pts · 74d
Tony too innocent for this world. 🥀
napkin2020@sh.itjust.works · 25 pts · 73d
For post stamps, obviously.
Sunshine@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 73d
They still make stamps you have to lick or are you just into licking things?
Geldaran@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 73d
Tony, you know why.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 73d
We all know why.
hansolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 73d
Tony's never been licked.
Cmon, y'all. Let's go lick Tony! Then he'll understand!
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 74d
Tony doesn’t know about the tootsie-pop, smh
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d
🦉
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 74d
Pushing ever closer to robot sex while their birth rate is falling off a cliff.
Of course, they're also working on artificial wombs, so who the hell knows where all this is leading?
scytale@piefed.zip · 5 pts · 74d
Axlotl Tanks of course.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 73d
IMHO access to sex isn't a good way to encourage/discourage birth rate. Modern people are aware that they'll have more sex if they don't have kids. The desire for sex isn't the same as the desire to reproduce.
The problem is solved by addressing its root causes.
CubitOom@infosec.pub · 17 pts · 74d
Bidets are about to see a new evolution.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 74d
"I want it clean enough to eat off of!"
Japan, hold my Ramune.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 73d
If this becomes mandatory, I'm leaving for the forests.
Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 73d
LIVE HOMO ERECTUS REACTION
JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 73d
Also:8==========================D
unitedwithme@lemmy.today · 15 pts · 73d
To get to the center of that Tootsie Pop, of course!
isekaihero@ani.social · 15 pts · 73d
I can't wait to buy my anime waifu bot.
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 73d
Those of us that know, know
roserose56@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 73d
Blowjob and pussy licking.
Grabthar@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d
Good to see Bluntman has joined forces with Captain Obvious. Ambiguity never stood a chance.
elucubra@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 73d
No way!
Melatoninmakake@feddit.org · 13 pts · 73d
I do have a couple of thousand ideas. None of them is NSFW...
EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 73d
Oh, yes I suppose there are some SFW ideas. I'll calm down.
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 74d
God damn it Tony.
CannedYeet@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 74d
It's to count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop
UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 73d
Hopefully they have no teeth
whoisearth@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 73d
If my girlfriend can learn so can a robot.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world · 10 pts · 73d
Lick your elbow?
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 9 pts · 74d
How much time ya got, buddy?
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 73d
women would probably love it
shittydwarf@piefed.ca · 8 pts · 74d
Who's gonna tell him?
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 74d
Oh no reason. I just want a few of them ok
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 74d
To figure out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!
“I have no teeth, yet I must bite.” — the robot, probably
BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world · 7 pts · 73d
Tony...
DarkCloud@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 73d
No more bidets.
DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 74d
Probably said the same thing about the Walkman…
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 74d
For experiments
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 74d
Stamps and envelopes. It’s for licking stamps and envelopes.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 73d
Couple with the Pink Trombone
https://dood.al/pinktrombone/
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 74d
Ummm...should we tell him, or just leave him to his bliss?
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 74d
Telling would lead to his bliss.
socsa@piefed.social · 4 pts · 74d
Bend over and I'll show you
csolisr@hub.azkware.net · 4 pts · 74d
I misread a letter on "a real human lick" (guess which one of course it's that one) and it frankly makes more economic sense to use it for that instead of as a tongue
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 74d
a tongue has muscles
bitteroldcoot@piefed.social · 4 pts · 74d
Oh, we all know why they need it.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 73d
Porn
spirinolas@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d
I'm surprised nobody posted THAT gif. You know which one.
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 74d
✂
Whirling_Cloudburst@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 74d
I'm going to need this to be abke to taste as well. Baby steps.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 73d
Can we also get a "recoil in horror" setting?
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 73d
Japan the government? Or do we think our readers are top stupid to understand two words?
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 73d
It was literally the island itself.
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 74d
Don't pretend like you don't know
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social · 2 pts · 73d
Handy if you want to recreate parts of Sweetest Pie?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7JrX7PHGBE
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 73d
But what that tongue do, tho?
echodot@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 73d
Yep that sure is Japan all right.