why is it never the 'close friend' who gets shit on?

fuck 'em both, at the very least...

707 points · 97 comments · view on lemmy.world

97 Comments

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 95 pts · 79d (4 replies)

I expect the "close friend" is no longer close, but the person who broke the promise, to whatever degree the promise was there, is the one who should get the most shit.

I say this as someone whose wife cheated on me. She broke her vows, she chose to cheat instead of just leaving me, he was incidental and could have been anyone. I can hardly blame him, my wife was hot af, and she lied to him, of course.

wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 65 pts · 79d (1 reply)

I have two friends who first met because one was this girl's "platonic cuddle buddy" and the other was her fuckbuddy. Neither knew she was effectively getting half the relationship from the other and they both wanted a "full" relationship with her until they both showed up at an event she was at and it came out. When they found out they both "dumped" her and became friends.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 78d

Was her name Krista because I have lived a life

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 79d

hug

manuremy@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 79d

Yeah, if someone is willing to cheat, they will cheat with just anyone. And all the best to you!

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 55 pts · 79d (7 replies)

Ive been on the wrong end of this a few times. A woman comes chatting to me in the pub, and then the boyfriend turns up and starts trying to fight me.

Mate, I dont even know her name let alone her relationship status. Your problem is not with me.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 24 pts · 79d (2 replies)

Ok humble brag

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 36 pts · 79d (1 reply)

It really interrupted my aged single malt whiskey

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · -6 pts · 78d

Whisky

No "E"

Unless you're Irish or *shudder" 'Murican...

icelimit@lemmy.ml · 19 pts · 79d (3 replies)

Drowning in success

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 79d (2 replies)

You guys ever get sick of having so much money? I know I sure do.

PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Don't you hate it when your dick is tired from all the sex you're having?

Slovene85@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 78d

When the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised?

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 79d (10 replies)

This tattoo is not likely to impress any potential new romantic interests.

PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Right?

"Uh... What's up with that tattoo"

Oh that's when my ex cheated on me so I sent my dog to lacereate her achilies

Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 78d

Achtually, my dog bit her before she cheated.

(Or so I understood it)

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 78d (7 replies)

I don't dress for other people why would I get tattoos for them?

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 78d (6 replies)

If we're comparing this tattoo to wardrobe choices, imagine you're single and you show up to dates dressed in a t-shirt that says "I enjoyed it when my dog attacked my previous romantic partner" and the effect that might have on your whole vibe with the other person.

Bogus007@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Or perhaps the other side wearing a t-shirt with „I cheated on my boyfriend, so be warned, I may cheat on you“, right?

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 78d

Not really the same thing.

locahosr443@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Maybe let's not give them advice to the contrary when someone is telling everyone who they really are.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d

okay, so which antisemite that i blocked's alt are you

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 77d (1 reply)

you got bit by a dog for cheating on someone and are expecting us to justify it?

velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 77d

It's not like the tattoo says it's from a cheating scenario. It only shows a woman being attacked by this guy's dog.

kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 35 pts · 79d (7 replies)

Hi, dog speaker here, that dog is actually pretty upset. Dogs won't show their teeth or really the whites of their eyes like this unless they're uncomfortable.

kamenlady@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 79d (1 reply)

Hi, dog speaker here

What's up dog?

No, but seriously - this pic is very strange. Why does the dog look like it just escaped a zombi apocalypse?

Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 78d

It's the 200 grams of meth

JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca · 24 pts · 79d

Idk man, it's a dobie. They are strange creatures when they are happy and content. I love them but a mal mix is enough for me

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 79d (1 reply)

Uh, this isn't true. My dog literally smiles when she's happiest (usually during belly rubs). Belly rub from yesterday. She rolls on her back, exposes her belly, and smiles bigger and bigger as I scratch:

Tonava@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 77d
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redlemace@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 78d

Well dog's can (sort of) simile. But I agree, the way it shows teeth combined with the look of the eye .... He's not relaxed. He's on edge or up to something, I'd be on my guard near him right now.

therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 78d

My dog shows her teeth all the time. Her lips get stuck on them.

Starik@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 79d (12 replies)

That’s a cool story, and a well done tattoo, but… We all know that dog really has no clue what that lady did wrong. He’s just a bitey boy.

SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 79d (5 replies)
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iamericandre@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 79d (1 reply)

Art is subjective

Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 78d

But tattoos are forever.

(Well, nowadays you can remove them quite easily)

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 78d (2 replies)

I have one piece of capital A art. It's a watercolor of the Y in South lake Tahoe (you know the intersection) and it also looks like a dog living its best life. Some famous dude painted it for gran for saving his life. Now it's mine!

If you don't know the area, it just looks like splotches. Or a dog licking its balls. But if you know the area, those few streaks of ink evoke home.

SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 78d (1 reply)
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HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 78d

Nah it's more showing off it's butthole

Demdaru@lemmy.world · -10 pts · 79d (5 replies)

Waitwaitwait...

Doggo has a sensitive nose. We know he had to notice a strong smell of another male and scent of sex on the ex.

Now, there is a really, really small, almost nonexistant chance that the doggo connected the dots and assumed she betrayed the pack.

And sure, chance is really low...but I also don't see a lot of claims to similiar story and if something has extremely small chance of happening, it still may happen. xD

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 78d (4 replies)

More than likely the dog detected anxiety/hesitation/etc, saw that as prey/weak pack behavior and attacked accordingly. Dog would probably attack children.

Demdaru@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 78d (3 replies)

We reeeeaaaally wanna believe all dogs are kill machines, don't we? Also dunno if someone who cheats would feel anxiety, isn't there tendency that cheaters blame their faithful partners?

cockmushroom@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 78d (1 reply)

You really think that dog lacks a deep seated inclination to catch bodies? Even shih-tzu have it.

Demdaru@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 78d

My reaction was mostly provoked by the "Dog would probably attack children". It's funny to me that, seemingly, lemmings are more eager to assume each single dog is a non senstient killing machine rather that it tried to protect it's owner. xD

Most dogs have instinct to hunt prey, but like with humans, they can learn to overwrite them and most under good owners do. It's werid to me when I see people immediately assume the dog is aggressive just because of one reported bite scenario, and that specific one at the same time. Like saying that a random person is overly aggresive because when you heard once that they hit someone.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 77d

Idk man not every dog has strong predatory or pack insticts but most the ones that go around biting people do.

And people often do things in the moment and post rationalize as well. Some cheaters absolutely have anxiety, regret or complex emotions about it. Even the ones who don't might hesitate to construct a lie or evaluate whether a partner's response will be dangerous.

Godric@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Yay for violent animals!

TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 78d

I don't condone, but I understand.

TheJesusaurus@piefed.ca · 25 pts · 79d (2 replies)

This reads to me as shitting equally on both of them.

For what's it's worth, the close friend would be dead to me whereas the ex is just an ex?

saltesc@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 79d (1 reply)

They're a tattoo now.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 78d

Every time I am betrayed I get another tattoo

Their souls scream to be free of my flesh prison. MORE. SOULS.

Vespair@lemmy.zip · 24 pts · 78d

Everything about this is trashier than your average junkyard.

Gross.

nulltape@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Well I wonder why he got cheated on lmfao

TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 78d

Ikr

It's like he's a store that exclusively sells red flags.

Rooskie91@discuss.online · 18 pts · 79d (1 reply)

I mean. Why would you want to have people ask you about this and remember it for the rest of your life?

Demdaru@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d

If they spent a lot of life together, it may not be an option to just forget. Move on, yes, but not forget. Having a tatoo imprinting 24/7 the one funny part of the story may force your brain to let go faster.

fruit@lemmy.ml · 17 pts · 79d

This guy in 6 months boo hoo hooing he can't get laid because of his "I assault women" tattoo.

GhostFace@lemmy.today · 17 pts · 79d (1 reply)

Why not just get a tattoo off the dog then?

Spezi@feddit.org · 9 pts · 79d

Maybe he had his ex’s legs tattooed already?

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 13 pts · 78d (18 replies)

The person in the relationship is the one with the responsibility not to cheat, they are objectively the worse person. If my partner is willing to cheat on me my friends might as well hit it because I'm not interested in continuing that relationship after that point anyway.

NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 78d (7 replies)

If that happened to me, I’d be dropping both those relationships - I also expect my platonic friends not to fuck me over

white_nrdy@programming.dev · 13 pts · 78d (5 replies)

My friend group recently excised someone because he was hard core planning on cheating on his soon to be wife.. They weren't married yet, he wanted to end the relationship bud didn't wanna be single. So he was just planning on cheating and how exactly to do it.

We decided to cut him out of the group, because most of us have the opinion "if you're willing to fuck over your supposed partner, you're definitely willing to fuck over a friend". Add on top of that a ton of unremorseful misogyny.

ChexMax@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 78d

Ugh we just got cut out of our friend group for very similar situation, except the asshole won. He almost cheated on his then fiance, he did screw over his "best friend" my husband, and when he learned my husband had told me about the emotional affair, he manipulated us and everyone, campaigned against us and eventually got us disliked and dropped by everyone. It really sucked, these were lifelong friends. My only hope is that they eventually all see who he is. I doubt it, as it's been a year and a half, and his now wife just had a baby. I feel the worst for her in the situation.

NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 78d (3 replies)

It’s so weird to me that people pre-plan cheating. You always hear the story that “it just happened”. However, now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve found that it is so often someone who spends lots of time considering it and shopping the idea around to their friends to see if they can find someone to tell them it’s ok.

white_nrdy@programming.dev · 6 pts · 78d (2 replies)

Yeah, 100%. A few of us tried to talk him out of it. 3 of us had independent 1:1 conversations with him saying it wasn't cool. And if he's not happy in his relationship now, it won't magically get better (he knew that to be true) and he should break it off. However he refused, unless he had a sure thing for a relationship immediately after.

He wanted to use one of our (my SO and me) best friends as "option B" and also had graphic and very explicit fantasies about this individual. He told one of the others that was trying to have a "come to your senses" talk with him about these fantasies, unsolicited. To the point he was apparently graphically imagining fucking them after we had just hung out, while he was home laying in bed next to his Fiancee.

He also said that de wasn't worried about the wedding coming up. The quote "whether I break it off now or a day before the wedding, its the same emotional and financial toll, so I shouldn't rush it". And he wouldn't be willing to get a divorce once they had kids. He didn't want kids, but she did, and he caved.

NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 77d (1 reply)

I can see why you would stop hanging out with someone who treats people so little respect

white_nrdy@programming.dev · 1 pts · 77d

Yeah... And given the person whom he wanted to be "option B" is my wife's best friend....

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 78d

If it's not your friend it'll be someone else eventually. Might as well get it over with sooner.

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 78d (9 replies)

Aren't your friends expected to avoid hurting you also?

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 78d (8 replies)

If my partner is willing to cheat they are the one hurting me. If it's not with my friend it'd be with someone else eventually but i guess it depends on how they handle it. If my friend tells me immediately then I'm not going to care because that allows me to not waste any more time with the cheater. They're doing me a favor by exposing them as the trash they are sooner rather than later. Might as well get laid for their trouble. If they go behind my back for weeks thus causing me to waste time and energy on a cheater then I'd be pissed.

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 78d (7 replies)

I don't understand this at all. If my partner cheats with a stranger, then sure-- all the blame is on my partner. The stranger doesn't know me. But a friend? They are betraying the relationship between us just as my partner is. My expectations for a friend would be more along the lines of "hey man, you really ought to know that your partner tried to fuck me", rather than "btw bro, I got it off with your partner" (high-five??).

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 78d (6 replies)

As far as I'm concerned the relationship is over the instant my partner decides to cheat on me. Whether they get rejected or not. My friend telling me about it has the same end result either way. So I don't really consider it a betrayal assuming they do tell me. The cheater was going to cheat sooner or later anyway might as well get it over with.

ChexMax@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 77d (1 reply)

Even if she's immediately an ex due to her behavior, I think a lot of people would rather their close friends not sleep with an ex. It's like, if you two fall in love after we're over, you can't stop love, but if you're just getting your rocks off, there are plenty of fish

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 77d

I guess it's just an each to their own thing. Once someone cheats on me I'm done with them. I don't care what they do. None of my friends are stupid enough to get into an actual relationship with a known cheater but even if they did it's not like it'd be the first time I had to ignore a SO someone was bringing around that I didn't like.

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 77d (3 replies)

I don't understand how you consider one action a betrayal of trust and not the other. Is your friendship also not over the instant your friend decides to sleep with your partner? I guess you have different kinds of friendships than I do.

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 77d (2 replies)

None of my friends would try and initiate something like that. However if my friend tries to fuck my SO and my SO rejects them then I'm going to have a problem with my friend harassing my SO. If my SO goes along with it and cheats on me then my friend has revealed my SO's colors and that relationship wasn't worth shit in the first place, they've done me a favor. No sense in also tanking a friendship over it.

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 77d

Right on, but I just can't relate.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 79d

If you want to see what happened to close friend, you'll have to check the tattoo on that guys balls.

PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 79d

What do you mean, never? This is like the most common thing ever, both as a movie trope and in real life. Guy A sleeps with girlfriend of Guy B, and instead of getting mad at his girlfriend who broke her agreement with him, Guy B goes and beats up Guy A. Now I understand also being angry at the friend, but it should be secondary to being angry at the girlfriend. Anything else is sexist and views the woman as an object IMO

NatakuNox@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 78d

My dad believes our old family dog hated my mom because she could smell other men on her.

conartistpanda@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 77d

This dog is a Mario chain chomp

FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 5 pts · 79d

Omg, that dog is gonna get overweight from all the chimkem nuggers. Goodest boi.

sunshine@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 78d (1 reply)

least crazed monogamous person

velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 77d

The straights are not okay

MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 77d

I'm sure he doesn't like his friend either

Doomsider@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 78d (1 reply)

I got the shotgun, should I put down both of them or just the human?

Patrikvo@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 78d

They are both humans. Quite rude to imply either the friend or the ex aren't.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d

Maybe she did shit on your friend? Did you bother to ask?

JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social · 2 pts · 78d

Did you let the dog keep the bone?

stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 78d

Couldn't she require the dog to get executed if she's a real bitch, from the sound of it she is.

man_wtfhappenedtoyou@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 79d (4 replies)

I see your question and raise you one bros before hoes

arctanthrope@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 79d (3 replies)

I suppose that makes sense if your interpretation of "bros before hoes" is simply "men are to be preferred above women in any circumstance." but if you consider that "bros before hoes" is actually supposed to mean "loyalty to your friends is more important than the arbitrary pursuit of fleeting sexual pleasure," that's actually a condemnation of the friend for doing the exact opposite as efficiently as possible

man_wtfhappenedtoyou@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 79d (1 reply)

Yeah I was just making a really low effort joke on a shit post. I don't support taking your bros hoes.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 79d

Well, I took your comment seriously, and now my friend's dog is going to be pissed.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 78d

Dude my sister from another mister Shania (real name idgaf) was one of the bros before I was one of the bros. And we're not talking trans anything, my bros are very anticonformist.

RedMari@reddthat.com · -3 pts · 79d (2 replies)

Because it's always the woman who is blamed either way

FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d (1 reply)

What?

RedMari@reddthat.com · 7 pts · 79d

Weather the woman is the one cheating or the one someone is cheating with, many people blame her.

Asidonhopo@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 79d (1 reply)

That close friend did him a favor exposing she was going to cheat anyway. Close friend should be there grinning with the dog

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 79d

"I did this for you, bro! And I'd do it again in a heartbeat!"