Technically possible. Technically. Without much child rape, even!
The ipad released 2010. Let's say the daughter was 3 years old at that point, they'd be 19 today. Minus 2.5 years to pump out 3 kids, they could have started at 17. Which is not unbelievable in some areas.
Yes, the ipad has been around long enough that generations raised on it could be parents now. If I made you feel old, you're welcome.
Edit: OK, so they had 3 kids 2 years ago. Maybe a teeny bit of Epstein then.
Exactly. Parents who complain about their kids behavior…like, did you drop them off with a pack of wolves or did you actually pay attention to them and take time out for them to teach them as opposed to yelling, dictating and insulting them?
Yeah, my parents are still wondering "where did we go wrong," as if they're surprised I turned out to be worthless...
Like, I fought like hell to thrive despite how they raised me, and in the end it came crashing down around me because the psychological conditioning was just too deep set.
And it didn't help that every time I started to get on my feet, they dragged me back down cause I guess it made them feel bad when they saw me start to do well any time I managed to cut them off temporarily. Buy they'd wriggle their way back into my life and start sabotaging everything all over again by talking down to me in strategic ways designed to trigger my ancient complexes and insecurities like only they know how to do...
I know it’s just words, but try like hell to make a life despite them. I know that with the state of things right now that’s crazy hard to do.
My mom actually got jealous when I finally got a nicer vehicle than she and my dad had. I drove clunkers my entire life until the last 8-9 years and I was proud of my new nice vehicle and she couldn’t even be happy for me. All she could see is that her gay child who escaped the evangelical upbringing was actually living better than she and my father.
I can't, it's too late for that. The struggle and psychological pressure led to too many mental breakdowns, and I've embarrassed myself in public too many times to step outside anymore. I used to live independently but a series of trips to the mental hospital and a spiral of crushing debt led me squarely back into their basement where things were still turbulent for a couple years and I made a series of attempts to move out on my own again but I'm just so psychologically broken at this point that I can't pull off the most basic things.
And yeah, they definitely had that evangelical strain of conservative christianity. It's how I was raised and that did a hell of a lot of damage too, even completely aside from the constant put-downs speckled with unrealistically high expectations.
Being sheltered and homeschooled and taught the bible from a baptist perspective and going to a church youth group where I met my abuser and was told to look up to him as a leader didn't help much either. By the time I was an adult I couldn't even interact with people. I spent all those years when most people are learning how to socialize and be normal, instead I was learning the opposite. People picked up on that easily and so I was ostracized and demeaned even more, cause people love ganging up on an easy target.
By the time I started deprogramming from religion it still took me several years to complete the process, and that finally leaves me at square one, albeit without the decades of social skills that most people have cultivated by my age. And in addition I have all the baggage of every foolish thing I've said or done along the way.
There's really no path forward for me. I'm a hikikomori at this point and I'm just barely starting to accept that fate with resignation.
By any chance, are you neurodivergent or suspect you may be? Before I learned that I was my life made no sense, and I stayed hella depressed. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed as autistic that my life slowly started making more sense. That doesn’t excuse or dismiss the damage caused by your parents, but it does provide a new reframing of things.
Almost certainly. But I never got screened as a kid even when I begged to find out what's wrong with me, because back then an autism diagnosis would have brought shame on the family or whatever, so I just got yelled at and told to stop asking...
And yes, my life does make a lot more sense when I consider that I might be on the spectrum, but that's not enough to convince people to understand or be accommodating. Hell, even if I had a diagnosis, most people still wouldn't understand or be accommodating.
And besides, I've asked my healthcare providers later as an adult to screen me, but it's not exactly their specialty. Also that was back when I was a regular pot smoker and they told me I had to be off weed for a year before they would send me to a specialist.
It's been about a year since I've smoked weed at this point, but it's also been longer than that since I've seen a doctor and I'm pretty sure they've already disenrolled me from their system. I also just don't feel like going through the hassle anymore.
Ah, I see. It is difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult. However, it really doesn’t matter unless you’re trying to apply for SSI or similarly in whatever country to reside in.
The part that helps is to find likeminded people online and in real life if you want. I have matrix group for autistic folks if you’re interested. It’s still small, but it’s slowly growing. It just helps to talk to people experiencing similar challenges.
hey there, sounds like my family. the ONLY thing that allowed me to start healing was a hard cutoff (dad) and low contact (mom). it is different for everyone, but if it is the right thing for you, do it. they made choices while parenting that will have natural consequences for everyone involved
Lol, this is what I tell my wife when she complains about one of our kids. "Guess they weren't brought up right".
For real though....children are humans with independent thoughts and a world of influences. Blaming parents for anything kids do wrong is insane, as if they're little automatons who have been programmed by parents.
For this sort of thing I'm not sure it matters. You either give a shit about this or it doesn't even reach your attention. I've seen people raised by meticulous engineers that do this kind of crap. It drives those of us that care absolutely nutty as it would literally take effort for us to do something like this so we assume it's done to piss us off but it usually is just something that some people don't attend to at all. In their mind it's just pizza in fridge, done, next thing.
People seem to have taken this as a slight against op, but I'm gonna be real with you, for me it's not that deep. Better to be shoved in sideways than not put in the fridge at all.
I tell my wife all the time: if you can at least put it in the fridge, then it won't go bad. If I don't like where you put it, I can always reorganize later. I can't un-spoil food.
why would you look at this and not understand that there is likely some expired or never used product that could be thrown out to make room in the door shelves?
I put my condiments in the veggie drawers and my veggies on the shelves, lol. Can more easily see what I still have and if it's going bad. Too many goopy cilantro or zucchini experiences
Technically not exclusively condiments, we put drinks and fruit in there too, and the freezer has its own situation. But we have what I suppose would be a breakfast nook if we were into that sort of thing, and an extra fridge after moving in, and the aforementioned condiment addiction, so one thing led to another...
Yeah, if I already settled for a shitty takeout pizza I'm not having a good mental health day. That shit is getting jammed wherever it fits, probably 2 minutes before I pass out on the couch drunk. I'll deal with it in the morning.
Why are you ragging on your daughter? It's your fault she doesn't know how to load a dishwasher, and this is a legit pizza strategy. It and the fruit are on top probably because they needed put away quickly. Why are you posting her business on the Internet? If you're infuriated why didn't you reach her how to load a dishwasher? If this is her house, why is any of this your business?
This hurts my heart. If I were to say there was any “failure” (I use that term loosely here), it’s that you obviously deprived your child of the joy that is Tetris.
Remember that those are designed to cover asses and cater to people with many different levels of working immune system. You may or may not need to actually be anywhere near that strict in your own home.
Holy shit this thread is full of holier than thou judgy comments!
I have always been the strict one, no phones at the table, no devices in the room. I taught my daughter to cook, the correct way to clean. I taught her manners.
I learned patience and fortitude as I made her do these things over and over again until they were done right, instead of doing them myself.
My daughter has AuDHD, something that can be a reason but that we never let be an excuse. Part of that disability is struggling with executive function, and you know what? More often than not, she does this same shit. Yes, even at 20 years old.
There are times I needed support and wanted to post similar things somewhere just so someone else could bear witness to how fucking hard it is to raise a kid like that right.
When she was 12 I watched her stand at the sink for I shit you not 6 fucking hours doing the dishes for a family of 3. We watched her and took little notes. Here is a one hour excerpt:
1810 - playing with foam and masher
1812 - playing with masher + silicone mixer (red), then just the foam and silicone mixer
1813 - rubs silicone mixer on spatula, then puts the red mixer in the clean. Lightly rubs once on each side
of the spatula and calls it cleaned.
1814 - playing with sponge. Holding it upright and squeezing to so runs down arm. Then gets a plate to the surface, and uses sponge to drip water + foam over plate (no direct contact).
1815 - refills sponge, and squeezes over arm again. Then gives 2 circles over the plate in the clean area, and calls it done. Goes back to playing with sponge, picking up foam with it and putting it on another dish.
1816 - sponges hand. Then cleans 1 glass. Picks up 2nd glass, but does a water cycle in it. No sponge action.
1817 - after doing nothing for 30 seconds, sponge stuffed in glass then twisted about gingerly.
1818 - glass with inside sponge twisted put in cleaning part of sink, sponge drained over it. Outside of glass not cleaned. Stands there still for next half minute
1819 - stands there still for first half of minute, gets whisk and whisks about. Drops whisk back in water then walks into lounge room
1820 - walks around lounge room, then plays with sponge
1821 - plays with sponge
1821 - still playing with sponge
1822 - rustles some cutlery after being reminded of being watched, then plays with water
??? - wonders off to get hair tie to put in pony tail. Turned on fan.
1829 - 4 things rinsed. Then looking outside. Then playing with pasta strainer
1830 fills pasta strainer, then lifts to see water fall through it. Holds in front of fan towards face. 5 swipes of the sponge, then plays with fan.
1831 - mentions not getting dessert. After being reminded of being watched, starts to sponge correctly.
1833 - handles the pot for a while before touching sponge. Now using pot scraper.
1837 - puts cutlery on clean side even though didn’t clean with sponge. then uses "pot sponge" on cutlery, not regular sponge.
1839 - scoops up foam with large pot spoon, then drops it in.
1841 - now cleans up dinner mess left on table. Out of order on procedure.
1842 - uses sharp side of knife to scrape off cutting board
1843 - confused by used skewers. Puts it down when asked to work it out.
1855 - puts away cleaned knife, then takes another out to look at
1857 - looking intently at finger for a long time.
1859 - using green pot scrubber on plastic containers scratching them
This went on for I am not exaggerating 6 hours. After that I resolved to never judge a parent for not being able to teach their kid something like washing dishes, because for every A type that just fucking does things there is a B type that drives you insane. Most parents give up and just do it themselves.
Now that she's 20 she is doing better, we estimate she is 2-3 years behind her peers when it comes to this sort of maturity and executive functioning. She doesn't take hours to do something, but may take 16 reminders.
Anyway OP, keep fighting the good fight. We all do our best and sometimes a kid just ... Refuses to learn.
I'm going through it with my 8yo AuDHD boy. I wouldn't so much mind needing to constantly remind him things if the reminders didn't anger him. Any wisdom you may have any how to manage them would be like manna from heaven.
Honestly? We had to rule with an iron fist from 8-14. It was brutal for her, brutal for us. The above situation with the standing at the sink for 6 hours? That kind of thing was common for a few years. Any time we let her go without doing them (or any chore, homework, etc) it's like she knew she got away with it and immediately her behaviour would worsen. She would try to get out of it again and again, regressing to crying etc. if we let her get away with something even once.
We had to stick to our guns, every single time. Eventually she would realise that doing dishes was something we were going to make her do, no matter what, and she couldn't do anything fun until they were done, and finally started just doing them.
However the thing about AuDHD kids (in my opinion) is that they cannot apply a lesson or rule to other common sense situations. Like, you say no food in your room, they think "This is candy, not food, therefore allowed" and you end up having to reiterate and refine the rule for each situation.
The same is true with them learning how to do any chore, school work, life skill like brushing their teeth. It will require an exhausting amount of micromanagement and honestly there were times when we cried, raged, or plain old gave up. Every life skill had to be taught, and each situation that it applied to had to be taught separately.
You say that your reminders anger him? Good. He can be angry, that is allowed. He has to respect you, but he can be angry when you make him do something. Remember that he is 8 and your window to change any dynamics is closing rapidly, so if you need to change your parenting style, get help and do it now!
What helped us with the reminders thing is remembering that people with adhd experience time differently, so when he needs to do something, give a soft reminder first "Hey in 5 minutes we need to do xyz." and also respect his interests, we never shut off her pc in the middle of a game or whatever. "After that game, I need you to do xyz."
Of course this gets push back, and that's when we had to get "mean". Taking away devices or scheduling when her internet or phone would not work were the big guns, but around 9 or 10 years old she went through a phase where no punishment or incentive did shit to sway her. She literally ended up in a completely bare room like it was a prison because she couldn't be reasoned with and nothing was a consequence to her. She just doubled down until we had to take something else away. This is typical of AuDHD kids I think, they are strong willed and can go full "monk" and nothing will bother them. Which sucks when you must get through to them when something is not ok. Thankfully that stage didn't last long and it quickly got better after that.
Also, we put her into social activities immediately and through her whole time in primary and high school. Kids with AuDHD are... assholes. People don't like them. Teachers don't like them. She would come home and tell me a teacher was mean to her and I felt terrible for her. Kids were just awful to her.
Putting her in drama classes, dance classes, judo, scouts, you name it meant she had to learn how to deal with other kids, and the acting and drama classes were great for helping her learn how to mask in public. The short one hour class meant everyone had a chance to cool off until next week.
We spent a lot of time watching her social interactions and asking questions about them, examining them with her. "Do you think that girl was backing away from you because you might have been in her personal space?" "Why do you think your friend got mad at you earlier?"
At home we don't have to mask, but in public, around others, the reality is we do. We cannot say to our friends mom "This is disgusting" when they ask what we think of dinner. We cannot tell a friend they look fat in that dress, or invade people's personal space etc.
When we don't learn how to act we hurt people we care about, and we end up hurting ourselves.
She's now 20, going to uni, and doing well. She still sucks with executive functioning, the dishes are still her nemesis, but I am so proud of her. For a while we wondered if she would ever be able to live independently, and now we are sure she will be ready in a year or two.
Sorry for the novel. I know how hard this is for you. Sending you strength!
Thanks for the novel - seriously. There have been times when I felt like my kid is just an asshole too, reading that was oddly healing. If I wasn't his loving father, I could easily write him off as no good. I see the good though, and I've worked to make him self-aware about the things he struggles with. He definitely knows he's time-blind.
Recently he told me he thinks I'm unreasonable, and I explained that it's now how I prefer to treat him, and that sometimes he's so unreasonable himself that being unreasonable is the only possible response. He seemed to understand. He knows we love him.
He's more ADHD than spectrum (according to the expensive private assessment we ended up getting after years of waiting). But I definitely see him completely failing to generalize rules. He seems to do better when he knows the reasons for things, but he will still struggle with any frustration, distraction, understimulation - basically executive dysfunction.
I can't imagine him even attempting to stick with a task for six hours, even in a completely dissatisfactory way. He would sooner fall asleep on the kitchen floor than even pretend to try to do dishes. So at least yours had that much going for her!
I appreciate the validation about ruling with an iron fist (as often as possible with a really soft glove on it, right?). I used to be the most easygoing one in the room, but dad life with AuDHD has turned me into a stereotypical stern-faced patriarch and I often struggle with the role self not matching my true self.
I do need to get him mixing with kids more often in clubs and what-not. He's a social sponge, and the more time he spends gently being asked not to act like shit by people who aren't me, the better for everyone in the long run.
I wish there was a silver bullet for the mess that gets caused when we let them off the hook one single time. I don't like being strict, it takes a toll.
I completely understand the toll that having to be strict all the time takes. My parents were abusive and I never wanted to be the strict parent. I wanted to be the loving hippie mom!
The pressure of knowing that we were the only ones who could raise her into a grown ass adult capable of experiencing all the good things in life are what kept us going though.
So yes, we had a glove on our iron fist. We knew we couldn't let her get away with anything but we tried to be as kind about it as possible, and any time she showed that she was accepting a punishment for screwing up, we would give her a way of "earning" her way out of some of it.
Earn an hour of screen time etc.
I agree I wish there was a silver bullet for any time we let her off the hook. Heck, any change in routine would cause a cascading effect, even something as simple as going away for the weekend as a family meant that all expectations about getting back into the routine of school and life when we returned were off the table.
School holidays? Fuck me, they were the worst for that.
Definitely make the effort if possible to get him into an after school activity at least once a week. Scouts were great for her because she also got to go camping and they often had boisterous children. The musical theatre was great because it attracted the "weird" kids who were more tolerant of her. We let her switch at the end of two terms and any term after, to any activity that wasn't unreasonably expensive to start.
Like no we aren't buying a full uniform for football or something, yes we will buy a basic leotard and shoes for dance, you know?
Feel free to pm me any time, I know it can be really lonely. My husband's parents raised 3 A types who became engineers and it wasn't until they were living with us and trying to get her to do anything themselves that they finally started to understand. No, we aren't letting her get away with stuff, yes we have expectations, no we don't want to raise an asshole. Man it's hard.
Oh yes, I wanted to touch on her "sticking with a task for 6 hours". This is because at a certain point she wasn't learning, and she was growing up so fast we knew we had to get through to her. So when she had a task like this that she refused to do, everything else stopped until it was done.
She would stand there or be in the kitchen until it was done, or it was bed time. Then she would get ready for bed, sleep, wake up and have breakfast and go to school like normal, and when she got home? Back in the kitchen. For however long it took. Forever if necessary.
There were tears, there was pleading, there was an extinction burst of both in the beginning that was just awful before she realised we weren't going to break and life just wasn't going to continue until she did it.
That's when we got to the "Will go to the kitchen and stand there but executive functioning so bad that even with constant reminders end up distracted for 6 hours trying to do a task" stage.
There were similar battles over homework, and various other life skills. The homework would just follow her, she would sit at the table until it was done, and if she tried to out will us until the weekend she had a shock on Saturday morning when she had to sit at the table again til it was done.
It was brutal and we all hated it, because it meant our evenings and weekends were spent monitoring this stuff until she thankfully learned and grew out of it. It was a punishment for us just as much as her, and we were sure to let her know this. No one is having fun right now, this is life stuff that just has to be done.
Thank you so, so much. Especially for the offer to talk about this stuff. I'm dreading the upcoming summer holiday. My mother is in town for most of it, and she's useless at any kind of control, routine, or discipline. Every time family stays with us it's great - free childcare - but also, all routines and hard-won norms go out the window for at least a month after they're long-gone.
Something I said to him last night after thinking about what you told me was explaining about how rules should be generalized. I told him "rules exist for reasons, and those reasons are the real rules." I went through a few examples, and he seemed to vaguely get it. I know I'll have to explain this again at least a few more times, but if I can get him pilled on the idea that rules have conceptual depth, maybe that will help him with compliance and masking somewhat. Have you ever tried anything like that? I feel like the more self-aware he is, the more he cooperates with measures taken to mitigate the things he's not good at. He is a sweetheart, but that always shines through best when he feels like we're on the same side.
feels like reading my parenting journey. ours just turned 9 and is on "house arrest" like you described lol. after a couple years of horrendous behaviour with no consequences working, they decided it was a great idea to purposely fuck up an eye exam so they could get glasses like their friend and it was obvious they couldnt see with them. they ended up hiding them for MONTHS and would spend hours "looking" for them. they finally fessed up when we told them if they couldnt find them, we were taking all their pokemon money til they were paid for. we knew they were lying, and sadly they are a compulsive liar. even the therapist told us we were wasting our money bc he believes it is a will issue, not a skill issue. they are diagnosed with ODD but as an audhd person myself, i know they is audhd as well.
thank you for saying it got easier, sometimes i am terrified of what the teen years will bring..
Oh god, yes. We had to teach her how to lie when she was maybe 8 because she didn't get the concept and was being too blunt and hurting her friend's feelings lol. We often wished we hadn't afterwards though, because she became like this. She would do things very similar to this, and we learned we had to be really careful with her around doctors, teachers, etc.
For instance we got a call one day asking if we were food insecure at home. Apparently she had been begging for food from her friends and the lunch lady for months telling them we had no food at home, we were poor, and she had only been having bread and water. /facepalm
So I sent them pictures of her lunch cupboard (we started having her pack her own lunches very early to force the skill and executive functioning) which was overflowing with food and snacks.
I asked her why she did it and she really didn't have an answer.
ODD is tough to throw in the mix. I remember when she was a toddler she begged for ice cream and when I finally gave it to her she screamed "NO!" she didn't want that. ODD kids are like that lol, but take much longer to grow out of it.
I have a coworker who has a kid with ODD and the best advice I have after watching (and commiserating with) her, is be mean NOW because as soon as he had a little puberty in him she lost all control and ability to get him to do anything he didn't want to do. It's better to be a monster for a few years now so you can continue helping them later, you know?
Also for compulsive lying, I hated doing it, but I highly recommend during the early years using a technology tracking software on their devices. We used Qustodio. It works on most phones and devices and allows you to set times they can use them and times they will not work. It allows you to keep tabs on what they are searching for and more.
We used it early on to control how many hours a day she was on the device, and felt especially vindicated when we learned she was on it for hours during the school day, even after her school banned phones!
What made us put it on her phone though? She left her discord open on her laptop and I happened to glance at it and saw a concerning conversation when she was 12. Mind you, we are open minded and don't give a fuck if she wanted to masturbate or have sex when she was ready. We never snooped.
What I saw though was a sexual conversation and a lot of lamenting about her parents (lamenting is normal, and we never brought it up) with a man who seemed to be much older. He seemed like a good guy, seemed supportive and wasn't reinforcing her complaints or encouraging her isolation from us. Thank god.
Upon further snooping we realise he is fucking 19 and she has told him she is 18! She was catfishing that poor boy! We sat her down and spoke with her, asked her what the fuck she was thinking. Told her that if someone besides us had found out she could have accidentally sent that boy to prison and ruined the rest of his life!
Told her that it wouldn't matter if we didn't want to press charges or she didn't want to press charges, if the wrong person found out it wouldn't have mattered, they would have arrested him, sent him to prison, and eventually charged him for being a sex offender.
We made her tell him her real age and stop talking to him. To his credit, the moment she told him how old she really was, he noped out of there, removed her, and went non-contact.
So yeah. Qustodio was a necessary evil. We never turned on the web search tracking or the message tracking, but told her that we reserved the right to check her messages any time. We did use it to prevent her from downloading weird apps constantly, and to schedule times she was allowed to be on the phone.
Like... not during school hours and not at 2 am on a school night. You know.
She was able to "get around it" by clicking menus fast, but it would still log that she was on it or doing something with it, so we would take it away after a talk when this happened. When she hit 14 we turned off everything, and just monitored, and only turned on the block as needed.
Sorry you're going through it now, I see you. I appreciate how hard it is to be the "mean parent". <3
thank you so much, i dont have a lot of support that understands what we are dealing with, so it feels good to not feel like a piece of shit over all this stuff. it is so dangg hard!! my parents just whupped my ass instead of parenting, so i feel like i'm making shit up as i go lol, no good examples to look to even if my child was a "normal kid."
I feel you on that. You are welcome to DM me if you ever need support, I am no expert and have fucked up more times than I would like to admit, but I have been there before at least. <3
In the same way that being trans is not a choice but comes with the human experience of being that person and living in that body, being of a certain age is also just not a choice. Getting randomly bitchslapped for it as I skim through comments is unpleasant, which was clearly your intent.
I'd expect someone who knows what it is to be othered as a matter of rote to also refrain from using othering terms, rather than selfishly offloading the same exact casually offensive shit unnecessarily onto those they in turn consider to be easy targets.
What was expected here? Take all the shit out of the fridge, put the pizza box in the bottom, then stack it all on top again to make it look neat? Maybe I'm a slob but I see no world where this isn't the play unless there's only like 2 slices that can fit in tupperware or a bag.
I know the feeling. Both of my parents do stuff like this and it drives me crazy. I’ve had to clean out the fridge/freezer multiple times and have found so much food that went bad.
My mom firmly believes that empty space is a sin. No matter the context; fridge, attic, basement. This made sense when I was very young, we were a family of 8 and she was the only one working, so she always went insane with coupons, and sales, and "free" stuff. We are no longer a family of 8, nor are we insanely poor, yet her habits have not changed. It pisses me off when I open the freezer, and find it packed like the opening game of Jenga. How the hell am I supposed to find anything in here, let alone reach it? I'd have to take everything out first, and then somehow put it back.
Waking up to find yet more shit on the counters and wanting to just swipe it into the trash. It's not free real estate meme in here! I need the counters clear for cooking, it's not extra storage agghhhh. Stuff does not go on top of the ice cube trays!!!
Counters? Oh you must be confused, those are just convenient shelves for bowls of fruit nobody asked for or will eat. Those should go on the kitchen table? That's a good one, everyone knows that thing is only meant for bags, satchels, notebooks, and trays that could conceivably hold something but do not. And not only does stuff not go on ice cube trays, stuff also does not go on the bottom of the freezer! It's literally sloped so you can't do that. And if for some god-forsaken reason you have to put something down there, don't put it over the defrost drain! Otherwise everything in the freezer gets covered in frost and we have to take everything out to clean it out! Ask me how I know!!
A fridge full of condiments and no food. Why don't you throw out some of those (probably expired) jars of goop so there's room for leftovers?
You're right, I'm getting side tracked; let's keep the conversation about your daughter. Maybe you should have a talk with who raised her?
Edit: just saw your linked post about the dishwasher. Wow dude. Two years and you're bitching to the internet instead of raising your children. I hope you're looking forward to sitting in that nursing home wondering why the kids never call.
Peanut butter, syrup don't need to be refrigerated. Pizza sauce left overs saved, but it'll be trash b4 you make another pizza. I could go on, but i don't care enough
I used to not refrigerate my syrup. However, that changed when I found a scoby growing in it one day. And some people refrigerate natural peanut butter so that the oil doesn't separate.
I have seen the brand on Amazon (I know, ew. But it's one of the few affordable sources to get access to good brands of maple syrup variants and it advertises itself as organic canadian maple syrup from quebec, canada
Source: https://amzn.eu/d/0h3O0xK0 https://escuminac.com/
And on the website they are located in Quebec. So I'd say that sounds as 100% maple syrup.
In what way? Natural peanut butter requires refrigeration, as does any peanut butter you make at home. Maple syrup requires refrigeration. And pizza sauce is perfectly usable after freezing.
If this is a shared fridge i would try to implement a 2-3 drink per person policy to get those boxes of drinks out of there. Keep the boxes of drinks nearby and refill as you take cold ones. The freezer can be used if consumption rate is gonna be faster than the cooling rate.
The only thing that bothers me is leaving the pizza in a box like that. It should be put into a ziploc of similar bag. Refrigerators pull moisture out of things, and the pizza crust is already susceptible to that from just the refrigeration.
Sometimes shitty pizzas use mozzarella with too much moisture and refrigerating/dehydrating it overnight can give you the greatest mozzarella texture and flavor that exists when you reheat it.
Also, there's the water trick where you strategically wet the pizza with water before toaster oven-ing it. You have to be careful, though, because some pizza will absorb it really fast in certain places and turn it permanently soggy INSTANTLY.
Lately, I've been toying with the concept that mozzarella is like a sponge, and at moment of pulling out of an oven, there's an optimum moisture content, and that refrigerating it and direct water application can control for this on a near-precision level.
Dishwasher? My parents had one. As an adult living on my own, even with roommates, I’ve never lived in a home with one. I’ve never had enough dishes to necessitate one. I don’t think I’ve even seen one in decades.
But it does use more electricity. And if you are alone you're either waiting a week to wash dishes or doing more loads that aren't full.
IMO in wetter areas where water use isn't a problem you're better off saving the energy and letting the water run in the sink. If water use is an issue it may be worth it to do at least a prewash/soak in a filled sink then do a faster running rinse in the second sink, or a filled rinse with a mild anti bacterial agent if you're cool with that.
The amount of water used for the first item would be enough to clean all of them, but your method requires fresh rinse water for each, even if you have a sinkful of suds sitting (and getting cold) while you work.
That sounds like a terribly inefficient way to wash. That’s not how I wash my dishes.
Clearly, your mother didn’t teach you how to wash up. Or, she didn’t teach you how to wash up very well. Shame on you both. and I’m a goddamn American, and even I know better.
Ew
And Shame. Shame on you.
And how fucking dare you try to blame anyone other than yourself
I clean up as I cook by loading the cooking items in the dishwasher, arranged to leave places for the serving and eating dishes, which get added immediately after use throughout the day. No rinsing, just scraping. Last thing at night, when I've fed the cat and put her used bowl in, I start the dishwasher. It washes and rinses and sanitizes the whole day's dishes in 3 gallons of water, or about 1½ minutes worth of running my California Water Saver kitchen tap. For a standard unrestricted tap it's less than a minute. Even a highly efficient hand-washer like yourself will have trouble beating that.
I'm sorry that this topic is getting you so upset. And I'm not saying you ought to change how you do your dishes. It's likely that in your area there isn't a constant threat of drought, and your electricity may not come from solar and wind, so the ecological tradeoff works the other way. Plus your method brings you joy, which is worth a lot more than the opinions of a few random people on the internet.
this is fucking baffling to me because EVERYONE here has a dishwasher and has had one for at least.. two generations now..
The only places that don't have one is tiny apartments where it would occupy half the kitchen.
Where is the “here” to which you’re referring? I have lived in the United States for the last 47 years (since my birth), and I have lived in six different states (UT, CO, MN, NY, NH, FL). In each of these, I have occupied apartments and houses that had at least 3 to 6 bedrooms.
I've lived in over 20 apartments in 4 different US states. Only one of them did not have a dishwasher and that was over 20 years ago. It's been exceedingly rare that I even saw a place without one. So yeah your comments and anger about this are strange.
Yeah I agree it's bizarre that someone would tell the lie that they've lived for decades without having a dishwasher and on top of that, pretend it's totally normal.
Also thanks for blocking me! Will be nice not to hear from you moving forward!
i checked their post history and they reference being drunk while commenting previously, so i can only assume they went on one hell of a bender and fixated on dishwashers while struggling with some sort of trauma..
Before I decided to move into my current place I had a moment where I noticed the listing page said the place didn't have a dishwasher and I didn't remember seeing one specifically when viewing the place, so I texted the property manager. His response: "yes, it has a dishwasher, that was just an oversight. All modern properties have a dishwasher." Not sure if he said that because of laws in this state or what but it basically reflects my experience also. I've very rarely even seen a home without a dishwasher, it's been years since I saw one.
174 Comments
atrielienz@lemmy.world · 136 pts · 45d
Just out of curiosity, who raised her?
Waterpumpee@lemmus.org · 68 pts · 45d
Probably an iPad
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 45d
Considering the daughter has 3 daughters of her own, probably not.
AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works · -10 pts · 45d
Technically possible. Technically. Without much child rape, even!
The ipad released 2010. Let's say the daughter was 3 years old at that point, they'd be 19 today. Minus 2.5 years to pump out 3 kids, they could have started at 17. Which is not unbelievable in some areas.
Yes, the ipad has been around long enough that generations raised on it could be parents now. If I made you feel old, you're welcome.
Edit: OK, so they had 3 kids 2 years ago. Maybe a teeny bit of Epstein then.
Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 32 pts · 45d
Exactly. Parents who complain about their kids behavior…like, did you drop them off with a pack of wolves or did you actually pay attention to them and take time out for them to teach them as opposed to yelling, dictating and insulting them?
Oh wait, maybe that’s just how I was brought up.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 45d
Yeah, my parents are still wondering "where did we go wrong," as if they're surprised I turned out to be worthless...
Like, I fought like hell to thrive despite how they raised me, and in the end it came crashing down around me because the psychological conditioning was just too deep set.
And it didn't help that every time I started to get on my feet, they dragged me back down cause I guess it made them feel bad when they saw me start to do well any time I managed to cut them off temporarily. Buy they'd wriggle their way back into my life and start sabotaging everything all over again by talking down to me in strategic ways designed to trigger my ancient complexes and insecurities like only they know how to do...
Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 45d
I know it’s just words, but try like hell to make a life despite them. I know that with the state of things right now that’s crazy hard to do.
My mom actually got jealous when I finally got a nicer vehicle than she and my dad had. I drove clunkers my entire life until the last 8-9 years and I was proud of my new nice vehicle and she couldn’t even be happy for me. All she could see is that her gay child who escaped the evangelical upbringing was actually living better than she and my father.
The toxicity runs deep in some parents.
Also, you’re not worthless!
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 45d
I can't, it's too late for that. The struggle and psychological pressure led to too many mental breakdowns, and I've embarrassed myself in public too many times to step outside anymore. I used to live independently but a series of trips to the mental hospital and a spiral of crushing debt led me squarely back into their basement where things were still turbulent for a couple years and I made a series of attempts to move out on my own again but I'm just so psychologically broken at this point that I can't pull off the most basic things.
And yeah, they definitely had that evangelical strain of conservative christianity. It's how I was raised and that did a hell of a lot of damage too, even completely aside from the constant put-downs speckled with unrealistically high expectations.
Being sheltered and homeschooled and taught the bible from a baptist perspective and going to a church youth group where I met my abuser and was told to look up to him as a leader didn't help much either. By the time I was an adult I couldn't even interact with people. I spent all those years when most people are learning how to socialize and be normal, instead I was learning the opposite. People picked up on that easily and so I was ostracized and demeaned even more, cause people love ganging up on an easy target.
By the time I started deprogramming from religion it still took me several years to complete the process, and that finally leaves me at square one, albeit without the decades of social skills that most people have cultivated by my age. And in addition I have all the baggage of every foolish thing I've said or done along the way.
There's really no path forward for me. I'm a hikikomori at this point and I'm just barely starting to accept that fate with resignation.
Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 45d
By any chance, are you neurodivergent or suspect you may be? Before I learned that I was my life made no sense, and I stayed hella depressed. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed as autistic that my life slowly started making more sense. That doesn’t excuse or dismiss the damage caused by your parents, but it does provide a new reframing of things.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 45d
Almost certainly. But I never got screened as a kid even when I begged to find out what's wrong with me, because back then an autism diagnosis would have brought shame on the family or whatever, so I just got yelled at and told to stop asking...
And yes, my life does make a lot more sense when I consider that I might be on the spectrum, but that's not enough to convince people to understand or be accommodating. Hell, even if I had a diagnosis, most people still wouldn't understand or be accommodating.
And besides, I've asked my healthcare providers later as an adult to screen me, but it's not exactly their specialty. Also that was back when I was a regular pot smoker and they told me I had to be off weed for a year before they would send me to a specialist.
It's been about a year since I've smoked weed at this point, but it's also been longer than that since I've seen a doctor and I'm pretty sure they've already disenrolled me from their system. I also just don't feel like going through the hassle anymore.
Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 45d
Ah, I see. It is difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult. However, it really doesn’t matter unless you’re trying to apply for SSI or similarly in whatever country to reside in.
The part that helps is to find likeminded people online and in real life if you want. I have matrix group for autistic folks if you’re interested. It’s still small, but it’s slowly growing. It just helps to talk to people experiencing similar challenges.
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 44d
hey there, sounds like my family. the ONLY thing that allowed me to start healing was a hard cutoff (dad) and low contact (mom). it is different for everyone, but if it is the right thing for you, do it. they made choices while parenting that will have natural consequences for everyone involved
cRazi_man@europe.pub · 16 pts · 45d
Lol, this is what I tell my wife when she complains about one of our kids. "Guess they weren't brought up right".
For real though....children are humans with independent thoughts and a world of influences. Blaming parents for anything kids do wrong is insane, as if they're little automatons who have been programmed by parents.
atrielienz@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 45d
In my family this would have resulted in one parent telling the other parent that "your daughter" wasn't raised right. That's all I'm saying.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 45d
For this sort of thing I'm not sure it matters. You either give a shit about this or it doesn't even reach your attention. I've seen people raised by meticulous engineers that do this kind of crap. It drives those of us that care absolutely nutty as it would literally take effort for us to do something like this so we assume it's done to piss us off but it usually is just something that some people don't attend to at all. In their mind it's just pizza in fridge, done, next thing.
fartographer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
Me, and I couldn't be more proud of her for at least trying.
atrielienz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 44d
People seem to have taken this as a slight against op, but I'm gonna be real with you, for me it's not that deep. Better to be shoved in sideways than not put in the fridge at all.
fartographer@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 44d
I tell my wife all the time: if you can at least put it in the fridge, then it won't go bad. If I don't like where you put it, I can always reorganize later. I can't un-spoil food.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 84 pts · 45d
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 61 pts · 45d
Condiments are the death of refrigerator space. All different sizes, almost never consumed quickly, and they eat up space waiting to be used.
kobra@piefed.social · 26 pts · 45d
that's why they have shelves in the doors. also, why is the syrup in the fridge?
Dave@lemmy.nz · 35 pts · 45d
If you look closely, you'll see that syrup is structural, load bearing syrup. That's why it's in the fridge.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 44d
My fridge is full of load bearing pickle jars with no pickles only brine from that one time I made pickles like 4 years ago lol
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 45d
Why would you look at this and not understand the door shelves are full too?
Syrup lasts longer in the fridge, particularly real maple syrup. It can get mold growing on it.
kobra@piefed.social · -4 pts · 45d
why would you look at this and not understand that there is likely some expired or never used product that could be thrown out to make room in the door shelves?
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 45d
That’s not what we’re debating. Don’t change the subject.
kobra@piefed.social · -3 pts · 45d
Change the subject? I just gave you back what you gave me you weirdo
Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 45d
I put my condiments in the veggie drawers and my veggies on the shelves, lol. Can more easily see what I still have and if it's going bad. Too many goopy cilantro or zucchini experiences
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 44d
I keep mine in bins in the dedicated condiment fridge, but then my wife has a condiment addiction so my situation may be abnormal.
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
bro, if you have a dedicated fridge for just condiments...
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 44d
Technically not exclusively condiments, we put drinks and fruit in there too, and the freezer has its own situation. But we have what I suppose would be a breakfast nook if we were into that sort of thing, and an extra fridge after moving in, and the aforementioned condiment addiction, so one thing led to another...
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
lmao, I love the labels. This is hilariously awesome
False@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 45d
Seems fine to me. Taking everything out to put the pizza box on the bottom, then removing it again to take out a slice of pizza is inefficient
adarza@lemmy.ca · 25 pts · 45d
i do the same thing. the leftover pizza will be gone first thing in the morning anyway.
village604@adultswim.fan · 36 pts · 45d
That's pretty efficient, though. She's making use of the vertical space.
baldingpudenda@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 45d
Spouse got into containers. MAXIMUM space achieved, but now we get to eat leftovers for most of the week
TheLowestStone@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 45d
Try cooking in smaller batches.
baldingpudenda@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 45d
Oh I cook for 2. Spouse cooks like they learned at a 15 person farm. Great for meal prep, not so much for variety
Dave@lemmy.nz · 4 pts · 45d
Cooking once and eating leftovers all week might sound like hell to the eater, but it's heaven for the cooker.
toynbee@piefed.social · 1 pts · 44d
So what engine do they use?
BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca · 30 pts · 45d
Gift idea for your daughter
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 44d
Haven't we all been there? Not enough room for the box, you're tired and probably going to eat it tomorrow anyway.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 43d
Yeah, if I already settled for a shitty takeout pizza I'm not having a good mental health day. That shit is getting jammed wherever it fits, probably 2 minutes before I pass out on the couch drunk. I'll deal with it in the morning.
NewNewAugustEast@lemmy.zip · 21 pts · 45d
I am not sure what bad taste in pizza has to do with dishwashers, but if my kids bought dominoes I would be upset too.
ReasonablePea@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 45d
Their pan pizza is pretty good though, I'd say the best of the chain pizzas
CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 44d
Little Caesars is surprisingly good for the price. Id put them above Domino's for sure though I do like their pan pizza too.
agent_nycto@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 44d
Why are you ragging on your daughter? It's your fault she doesn't know how to load a dishwasher, and this is a legit pizza strategy. It and the fruit are on top probably because they needed put away quickly. Why are you posting her business on the Internet? If you're infuriated why didn't you reach her how to load a dishwasher? If this is her house, why is any of this your business?
Fluke@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 44d
I am totally fucking here for this comment.
Right on the fucking button.
Either step up and be the fucking parent you've failed to be thus far, or back the fuck up, wind your neck in, and shut the fuck up.
binux@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 44d
Incredible parenting strategy to post your grievances toward her online at her expense instead of communicating openly with her about it.
DisasterTransport@startrek.website · 9 pts · 44d
i wonder why she does not have basic skills
chrisgpz@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 44d
I can still hear my Dad.
Short shit on the short shit shelf
Tall shit on the tall shit shelf
Fluke@feddit.uk · -1 pts · 44d
Your Dad apparently did some parenting, unlike the sperm/egg donor responsible for this.
systemglitch@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 44d
Glad I don't know you.
abbadon420@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 45d
The tighter a fridge is packed, the more will be thrown in the trash
dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 45d
This hurts my heart. If I were to say there was any “failure” (I use that term loosely here), it’s that you obviously deprived your child of the joy that is Tetris.
But, fear not! It’s never too late.
In case it isn’t obvious, this comment is meant to be lighthearted. Y’all do y’all. 💙TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com · 18 pts · 45d
Weirdly enough I had a similar problem until I took the Washington state food handlers test and certification online. It basically showed me why many of my untrained food storage habits were actually dangerous.
I mean ... I still do that but at least now I know.
farmgineer@nord.pub · 7 pts · 45d
Remember that those are designed to cover asses and cater to people with many different levels of working immune system. You may or may not need to actually be anywhere near that strict in your own home.
LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 45d
You know you're telling on yourself right. Parents are supposed to teach their kids these skills, man what have you been doing!! (/s)
Dookieman12@piefed.social · 15 pts · 45d
Since you didn't learn from the top comment in your last thread, allow me to repeat it here:
It's your fault, accept the shame and teach her.
MinFapper@startrek.website · 20 pts · 45d
As I discovered the hard way with my wife, if someone doesn't care about something, you can't teach them.
You just have to decide if this annoyance is worth putting up with because of other things you love about them.
SailorFuzz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
The problem with teenagers is that they dont care about anything.
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 15 pts · 45d
If the door shuts...
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 45d
the real test is what happens when you open the door again
Dultas@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 45d
What did you do?!
indomara@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 45d
Holy shit this thread is full of holier than thou judgy comments!
I have always been the strict one, no phones at the table, no devices in the room. I taught my daughter to cook, the correct way to clean. I taught her manners.
I learned patience and fortitude as I made her do these things over and over again until they were done right, instead of doing them myself.
My daughter has AuDHD, something that can be a reason but that we never let be an excuse. Part of that disability is struggling with executive function, and you know what? More often than not, she does this same shit. Yes, even at 20 years old.
There are times I needed support and wanted to post similar things somewhere just so someone else could bear witness to how fucking hard it is to raise a kid like that right.
When she was 12 I watched her stand at the sink for I shit you not 6 fucking hours doing the dishes for a family of 3. We watched her and took little notes. Here is a one hour excerpt:
This went on for I am not exaggerating 6 hours. After that I resolved to never judge a parent for not being able to teach their kid something like washing dishes, because for every A type that just fucking does things there is a B type that drives you insane. Most parents give up and just do it themselves.
Now that she's 20 she is doing better, we estimate she is 2-3 years behind her peers when it comes to this sort of maturity and executive functioning. She doesn't take hours to do something, but may take 16 reminders.
Anyway OP, keep fighting the good fight. We all do our best and sometimes a kid just ... Refuses to learn.
yakko@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 45d
I'm going through it with my 8yo AuDHD boy. I wouldn't so much mind needing to constantly remind him things if the reminders didn't anger him. Any wisdom you may have any how to manage them would be like manna from heaven.
indomara@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 44d
Honestly? We had to rule with an iron fist from 8-14. It was brutal for her, brutal for us. The above situation with the standing at the sink for 6 hours? That kind of thing was common for a few years. Any time we let her go without doing them (or any chore, homework, etc) it's like she knew she got away with it and immediately her behaviour would worsen. She would try to get out of it again and again, regressing to crying etc. if we let her get away with something even once.
We had to stick to our guns, every single time. Eventually she would realise that doing dishes was something we were going to make her do, no matter what, and she couldn't do anything fun until they were done, and finally started just doing them.
However the thing about AuDHD kids (in my opinion) is that they cannot apply a lesson or rule to other common sense situations. Like, you say no food in your room, they think "This is candy, not food, therefore allowed" and you end up having to reiterate and refine the rule for each situation.
The same is true with them learning how to do any chore, school work, life skill like brushing their teeth. It will require an exhausting amount of micromanagement and honestly there were times when we cried, raged, or plain old gave up. Every life skill had to be taught, and each situation that it applied to had to be taught separately.
You say that your reminders anger him? Good. He can be angry, that is allowed. He has to respect you, but he can be angry when you make him do something. Remember that he is 8 and your window to change any dynamics is closing rapidly, so if you need to change your parenting style, get help and do it now!
What helped us with the reminders thing is remembering that people with adhd experience time differently, so when he needs to do something, give a soft reminder first "Hey in 5 minutes we need to do xyz." and also respect his interests, we never shut off her pc in the middle of a game or whatever. "After that game, I need you to do xyz."
Of course this gets push back, and that's when we had to get "mean". Taking away devices or scheduling when her internet or phone would not work were the big guns, but around 9 or 10 years old she went through a phase where no punishment or incentive did shit to sway her. She literally ended up in a completely bare room like it was a prison because she couldn't be reasoned with and nothing was a consequence to her. She just doubled down until we had to take something else away. This is typical of AuDHD kids I think, they are strong willed and can go full "monk" and nothing will bother them. Which sucks when you must get through to them when something is not ok. Thankfully that stage didn't last long and it quickly got better after that.
Also, we put her into social activities immediately and through her whole time in primary and high school. Kids with AuDHD are... assholes. People don't like them. Teachers don't like them. She would come home and tell me a teacher was mean to her and I felt terrible for her. Kids were just awful to her.
Putting her in drama classes, dance classes, judo, scouts, you name it meant she had to learn how to deal with other kids, and the acting and drama classes were great for helping her learn how to mask in public. The short one hour class meant everyone had a chance to cool off until next week.
We spent a lot of time watching her social interactions and asking questions about them, examining them with her. "Do you think that girl was backing away from you because you might have been in her personal space?" "Why do you think your friend got mad at you earlier?"
At home we don't have to mask, but in public, around others, the reality is we do. We cannot say to our friends mom "This is disgusting" when they ask what we think of dinner. We cannot tell a friend they look fat in that dress, or invade people's personal space etc.
When we don't learn how to act we hurt people we care about, and we end up hurting ourselves.
She's now 20, going to uni, and doing well. She still sucks with executive functioning, the dishes are still her nemesis, but I am so proud of her. For a while we wondered if she would ever be able to live independently, and now we are sure she will be ready in a year or two.
Sorry for the novel. I know how hard this is for you. Sending you strength!
yakko@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 44d
Thanks for the novel - seriously. There have been times when I felt like my kid is just an asshole too, reading that was oddly healing. If I wasn't his loving father, I could easily write him off as no good. I see the good though, and I've worked to make him self-aware about the things he struggles with. He definitely knows he's time-blind.
Recently he told me he thinks I'm unreasonable, and I explained that it's now how I prefer to treat him, and that sometimes he's so unreasonable himself that being unreasonable is the only possible response. He seemed to understand. He knows we love him.
He's more ADHD than spectrum (according to the expensive private assessment we ended up getting after years of waiting). But I definitely see him completely failing to generalize rules. He seems to do better when he knows the reasons for things, but he will still struggle with any frustration, distraction, understimulation - basically executive dysfunction.
I can't imagine him even attempting to stick with a task for six hours, even in a completely dissatisfactory way. He would sooner fall asleep on the kitchen floor than even pretend to try to do dishes. So at least yours had that much going for her!
I appreciate the validation about ruling with an iron fist (as often as possible with a really soft glove on it, right?). I used to be the most easygoing one in the room, but dad life with AuDHD has turned me into a stereotypical stern-faced patriarch and I often struggle with the role self not matching my true self.
I do need to get him mixing with kids more often in clubs and what-not. He's a social sponge, and the more time he spends gently being asked not to act like shit by people who aren't me, the better for everyone in the long run.
I wish there was a silver bullet for the mess that gets caused when we let them off the hook one single time. I don't like being strict, it takes a toll.
indomara@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 44d
I completely understand the toll that having to be strict all the time takes. My parents were abusive and I never wanted to be the strict parent. I wanted to be the loving hippie mom!
The pressure of knowing that we were the only ones who could raise her into a grown ass adult capable of experiencing all the good things in life are what kept us going though.
So yes, we had a glove on our iron fist. We knew we couldn't let her get away with anything but we tried to be as kind about it as possible, and any time she showed that she was accepting a punishment for screwing up, we would give her a way of "earning" her way out of some of it.
Earn an hour of screen time etc.
I agree I wish there was a silver bullet for any time we let her off the hook. Heck, any change in routine would cause a cascading effect, even something as simple as going away for the weekend as a family meant that all expectations about getting back into the routine of school and life when we returned were off the table.
School holidays? Fuck me, they were the worst for that.
Definitely make the effort if possible to get him into an after school activity at least once a week. Scouts were great for her because she also got to go camping and they often had boisterous children. The musical theatre was great because it attracted the "weird" kids who were more tolerant of her. We let her switch at the end of two terms and any term after, to any activity that wasn't unreasonably expensive to start.
Like no we aren't buying a full uniform for football or something, yes we will buy a basic leotard and shoes for dance, you know?
Feel free to pm me any time, I know it can be really lonely. My husband's parents raised 3 A types who became engineers and it wasn't until they were living with us and trying to get her to do anything themselves that they finally started to understand. No, we aren't letting her get away with stuff, yes we have expectations, no we don't want to raise an asshole. Man it's hard.
indomara@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
Oh yes, I wanted to touch on her "sticking with a task for 6 hours". This is because at a certain point she wasn't learning, and she was growing up so fast we knew we had to get through to her. So when she had a task like this that she refused to do, everything else stopped until it was done.
She would stand there or be in the kitchen until it was done, or it was bed time. Then she would get ready for bed, sleep, wake up and have breakfast and go to school like normal, and when she got home? Back in the kitchen. For however long it took. Forever if necessary.
There were tears, there was pleading, there was an extinction burst of both in the beginning that was just awful before she realised we weren't going to break and life just wasn't going to continue until she did it.
That's when we got to the "Will go to the kitchen and stand there but executive functioning so bad that even with constant reminders end up distracted for 6 hours trying to do a task" stage.
There were similar battles over homework, and various other life skills. The homework would just follow her, she would sit at the table until it was done, and if she tried to out will us until the weekend she had a shock on Saturday morning when she had to sit at the table again til it was done.
It was brutal and we all hated it, because it meant our evenings and weekends were spent monitoring this stuff until she thankfully learned and grew out of it. It was a punishment for us just as much as her, and we were sure to let her know this. No one is having fun right now, this is life stuff that just has to be done.
yakko@feddit.uk · 0 pts · 43d
Thank you so, so much. Especially for the offer to talk about this stuff. I'm dreading the upcoming summer holiday. My mother is in town for most of it, and she's useless at any kind of control, routine, or discipline. Every time family stays with us it's great - free childcare - but also, all routines and hard-won norms go out the window for at least a month after they're long-gone.
Something I said to him last night after thinking about what you told me was explaining about how rules should be generalized. I told him "rules exist for reasons, and those reasons are the real rules." I went through a few examples, and he seemed to vaguely get it. I know I'll have to explain this again at least a few more times, but if I can get him pilled on the idea that rules have conceptual depth, maybe that will help him with compliance and masking somewhat. Have you ever tried anything like that? I feel like the more self-aware he is, the more he cooperates with measures taken to mitigate the things he's not good at. He is a sweetheart, but that always shines through best when he feels like we're on the same side.
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 44d
feels like reading my parenting journey. ours just turned 9 and is on "house arrest" like you described lol. after a couple years of horrendous behaviour with no consequences working, they decided it was a great idea to purposely fuck up an eye exam so they could get glasses like their friend and it was obvious they couldnt see with them. they ended up hiding them for MONTHS and would spend hours "looking" for them. they finally fessed up when we told them if they couldnt find them, we were taking all their pokemon money til they were paid for. we knew they were lying, and sadly they are a compulsive liar. even the therapist told us we were wasting our money bc he believes it is a will issue, not a skill issue. they are diagnosed with ODD but as an audhd person myself, i know they is audhd as well.
thank you for saying it got easier, sometimes i am terrified of what the teen years will bring..
indomara@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 44d
Oh god, yes. We had to teach her how to lie when she was maybe 8 because she didn't get the concept and was being too blunt and hurting her friend's feelings lol. We often wished we hadn't afterwards though, because she became like this. She would do things very similar to this, and we learned we had to be really careful with her around doctors, teachers, etc.
For instance we got a call one day asking if we were food insecure at home. Apparently she had been begging for food from her friends and the lunch lady for months telling them we had no food at home, we were poor, and she had only been having bread and water. /facepalm
So I sent them pictures of her lunch cupboard (we started having her pack her own lunches very early to force the skill and executive functioning) which was overflowing with food and snacks.
I asked her why she did it and she really didn't have an answer.
ODD is tough to throw in the mix. I remember when she was a toddler she begged for ice cream and when I finally gave it to her she screamed "NO!" she didn't want that. ODD kids are like that lol, but take much longer to grow out of it.
I have a coworker who has a kid with ODD and the best advice I have after watching (and commiserating with) her, is be mean NOW because as soon as he had a little puberty in him she lost all control and ability to get him to do anything he didn't want to do. It's better to be a monster for a few years now so you can continue helping them later, you know?
Also for compulsive lying, I hated doing it, but I highly recommend during the early years using a technology tracking software on their devices. We used Qustodio. It works on most phones and devices and allows you to set times they can use them and times they will not work. It allows you to keep tabs on what they are searching for and more.
We used it early on to control how many hours a day she was on the device, and felt especially vindicated when we learned she was on it for hours during the school day, even after her school banned phones!
What made us put it on her phone though? She left her discord open on her laptop and I happened to glance at it and saw a concerning conversation when she was 12. Mind you, we are open minded and don't give a fuck if she wanted to masturbate or have sex when she was ready. We never snooped.
What I saw though was a sexual conversation and a lot of lamenting about her parents (lamenting is normal, and we never brought it up) with a man who seemed to be much older. He seemed like a good guy, seemed supportive and wasn't reinforcing her complaints or encouraging her isolation from us. Thank god.
Upon further snooping we realise he is fucking 19 and she has told him she is 18! She was catfishing that poor boy! We sat her down and spoke with her, asked her what the fuck she was thinking. Told her that if someone besides us had found out she could have accidentally sent that boy to prison and ruined the rest of his life!
Told her that it wouldn't matter if we didn't want to press charges or she didn't want to press charges, if the wrong person found out it wouldn't have mattered, they would have arrested him, sent him to prison, and eventually charged him for being a sex offender.
We made her tell him her real age and stop talking to him. To his credit, the moment she told him how old she really was, he noped out of there, removed her, and went non-contact.
So yeah. Qustodio was a necessary evil. We never turned on the web search tracking or the message tracking, but told her that we reserved the right to check her messages any time. We did use it to prevent her from downloading weird apps constantly, and to schedule times she was allowed to be on the phone.
Like... not during school hours and not at 2 am on a school night. You know.
She was able to "get around it" by clicking menus fast, but it would still log that she was on it or doing something with it, so we would take it away after a talk when this happened. When she hit 14 we turned off everything, and just monitored, and only turned on the block as needed.
Sorry you're going through it now, I see you. I appreciate how hard it is to be the "mean parent". <3
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 44d
thank you so much, i dont have a lot of support that understands what we are dealing with, so it feels good to not feel like a piece of shit over all this stuff. it is so dangg hard!! my parents just whupped my ass instead of parenting, so i feel like i'm making shit up as i go lol, no good examples to look to even if my child was a "normal kid."
indomara@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 44d
I feel you on that. You are welcome to DM me if you ever need support, I am no expert and have fucked up more times than I would like to admit, but I have been there before at least. <3
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 44d
hey, if you can admit you've fucked up, you're already ahead. i may take you up on that sometime :)
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 45d
ok boomer
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 45d
“Everyone I don’t like is a boomer. “
StumblingWasabi@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 45d
ok boomer /s
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 45d
"Every lifestyle different from mine is inferior and a sign of bad character!" - Dipshit Boomer, esq.
ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
In the same way that being trans is not a choice but comes with the human experience of being that person and living in that body, being of a certain age is also just not a choice. Getting randomly bitchslapped for it as I skim through comments is unpleasant, which was clearly your intent.
I'd expect someone who knows what it is to be othered as a matter of rote to also refrain from using othering terms, rather than selfishly offloading the same exact casually offensive shit unnecessarily onto those they in turn consider to be easy targets.
Guess I expected wrong.
papalonian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 45d
Writing a guilt trip to compare "ok boomer" to the vitriol and hate that trans people experience is some big boomer energy.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · -1 pts · 45d
ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 45d
Isn't that exactly what you yourself are doing?
And aren't you lying about it now, as you insist on trying to imply that "boomer" -- your term -- is not an explicit age-related insult?
uhmbah@lemmy.ca · -2 pts · 45d
LOL
djdarren@piefed.social · 10 pts · 45d
If it fits it sits.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 45d
Says the person who's wasting letters writing titles inefficientlylyly
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 45d
It's okay, the only thing worse than a hot dominoes pizza is day old, refrigerated Domino's pizza.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 45d
Air fryers reheat pizza great
jestho@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 44d
I think "Dominos" was the key word here
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 44d
Cardboard
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 44d
What was expected here? Take all the shit out of the fridge, put the pizza box in the bottom, then stack it all on top again to make it look neat? Maybe I'm a slob but I see no world where this isn't the play unless there's only like 2 slices that can fit in tupperware or a bag.
AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 45d
I mean, this looks pretty similar to the dishwasher setup, so idk why you're surprised / appalled 😊
In all seriousness though, I wouldn't place the pizza at the bottom either. It's the most likely to be grabbed next and finished first.
jrubal1462@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 45d
Agreed. No need to optimize until the door doesn't shut.
justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io · 6 pts · 45d
She also loads the fridge badly.
Baaron87@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 45d
I know the feeling. Both of my parents do stuff like this and it drives me crazy. I’ve had to clean out the fridge/freezer multiple times and have found so much food that went bad.
wattanao@fedia.io · 4 pts · 45d
My mom firmly believes that empty space is a sin. No matter the context; fridge, attic, basement. This made sense when I was very young, we were a family of 8 and she was the only one working, so she always went insane with coupons, and sales, and "free" stuff. We are no longer a family of 8, nor are we insanely poor, yet her habits have not changed. It pisses me off when I open the freezer, and find it packed like the opening game of Jenga. How the hell am I supposed to find anything in here, let alone reach it? I'd have to take everything out first, and then somehow put it back.
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
Waking up to find yet more shit on the counters and wanting to just swipe it into the trash. It's not free real estate meme in here! I need the counters clear for cooking, it's not extra storage agghhhh. Stuff does not go on top of the ice cube trays!!!
wattanao@fedia.io · 2 pts · 44d
Counters? Oh you must be confused, those are just convenient shelves for bowls of fruit nobody asked for or will eat. Those should go on the kitchen table? That's a good one, everyone knows that thing is only meant for bags, satchels, notebooks, and trays that could conceivably hold something but do not. And not only does stuff not go on ice cube trays, stuff also does not go on the bottom of the freezer! It's literally sloped so you can't do that. And if for some god-forsaken reason you have to put something down there, don't put it over the defrost drain! Otherwise everything in the freezer gets covered in frost and we have to take everything out to clean it out! Ask me how I know!!
elephantium@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 45d
Fridge Tetris. Ugh
Dookieman12@piefed.social · 6 pts · 45d
A fridge full of condiments and no food. Why don't you throw out some of those (probably expired) jars of goop so there's room for leftovers?
You're right, I'm getting side tracked; let's keep the conversation about your daughter. Maybe you should have a talk with who raised her?
Edit: just saw your linked post about the dishwasher. Wow dude. Two years and you're bitching to the internet instead of raising your children. I hope you're looking forward to sitting in that nursing home wondering why the kids never call.
GarboDog@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 45d
Well he’s obviously busy drinking his own adulthood away, she probably was in a rush to get away from his drunk ass.
IWW4@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 44d
The only thing I see wrong here is that she is eating dominos.
HelluvaKick@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 44d
Tbf their large carry out 7.99 deal is one of the best price points in fast food rn sadly
IWW4@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 44d
Slop is cheap.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
Sometimes it's a slop eating kinda day.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 44d
I usually get Taco Bell on those days.
My area is so lousy with amazing, authentic pizza places, that it's somehow insulting to myself to even consider eating chain pizza.
I will say that the price of pizza has skyrocketed over the past ten years or so, though. It's easily 2-3x as much as it used to be.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 43d
Have you seen Taco Bells prices recently?
IWW4@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 43d
No, I can’t say that I have.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 43d
Well I can tell you that slop isn't cheap anymore.
motruck@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 44d
That's on you.
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 44d
Dishwasher? Yes
That? No.
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 44d
Omg a clutterbug raised a clutter bug?!?!
Peanut butter, syrup don't need to be refrigerated. Pizza sauce left overs saved, but it'll be trash b4 you make another pizza. I could go on, but i don't care enough
Edit- maybe I care enough?
uncooked24@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 44d
Everything goes in the fridge when you have ants.
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 43d
And you get ants when your place isnt clean and sanitary.
nelly_man@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
I used to not refrigerate my syrup. However, that changed when I found a scoby growing in it one day. And some people refrigerate natural peanut butter so that the oil doesn't separate.
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today · 0 pts · 43d
Crazy take on my party: syrup is pure sugar. You dont need to keep it that long. Have a taste and throw it out quickly.
It has no health benefits, besides gluttonous non-nutritional calories. A dandelion from the sidewalk is healthier for you.
Itll literally kill your boner and take your limbs given time.
But sometimes I just like to argue
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 44d
Syrup does.
Even the label says to do it after opening.
Else it could develoo mold. And maple syrup is expensive in Europe.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 44d
That’s not maple syrup. That’s American syrup-like product
PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 43d
Maple syrup should be refrigerated even more than sugar syrup.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 43d
I agree - maple syrup needs to be refrigerated
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 43d
I know it's reddit...
https://www.reddit.com/r/MoldlyInteresting/comments/10hhc8y/can_i_still_use_my_maple_syrup_if_i_pour_the_bad/
I have seen the brand on Amazon (I know, ew. But it's one of the few affordable sources to get access to good brands of maple syrup variants and it advertises itself as organic canadian maple syrup from quebec, canada
Source: https://amzn.eu/d/0h3O0xK0
https://escuminac.com/
And on the website they are located in Quebec. So I'd say that sounds as 100% maple syrup.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · -2 pts · 44d
Peanut butter and syrup should need refrigerating - only the preservative laden crap is shelf stable (which admittedly, is what is pictured).
Pizza sauce freezes very well in silicone cubes.
mriormro@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 44d
Absolutely incorrect on all fronts here.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 43d
In what way? Natural peanut butter requires refrigeration, as does any peanut butter you make at home. Maple syrup requires refrigeration. And pizza sauce is perfectly usable after freezing.
mriormro@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 44d
You raised her, dude.
sirico@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 44d
Amateur if it's not falling out when you open the door are you even trying
Syndication@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 45d
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 44d
pancake syrup doesnt need refrigeration
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 44d
I have good news and bad news.
bad news is, maple syrup most definitely must be refrigerated.
good news, corn syrup with maple flavoring usually does not.
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 44d
That is not maple syrup at all though. That shit is as fake as that mother fucker back there.
Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 44d
Warm syrup? No thanks
FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 45d
If this is a shared fridge i would try to implement a 2-3 drink per person policy to get those boxes of drinks out of there. Keep the boxes of drinks nearby and refill as you take cold ones. The freezer can be used if consumption rate is gonna be faster than the cooling rate.
daychilde@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 45d
The only thing that bothers me is leaving the pizza in a box like that. It should be put into a ziploc of similar bag. Refrigerators pull moisture out of things, and the pizza crust is already susceptible to that from just the refrigeration.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 43d
Sometimes shitty pizzas use mozzarella with too much moisture and refrigerating/dehydrating it overnight can give you the greatest mozzarella texture and flavor that exists when you reheat it.
Also, there's the water trick where you strategically wet the pizza with water before toaster oven-ing it. You have to be careful, though, because some pizza will absorb it really fast in certain places and turn it permanently soggy INSTANTLY.
Lately, I've been toying with the concept that mozzarella is like a sponge, and at moment of pulling out of an oven, there's an optimum moisture content, and that refrigerating it and direct water application can control for this on a near-precision level.
W3dd1e@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 44d
That remind me. I need to clean out my refrigerator tonight.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 45d
With the context of the previous post, surely it's genetic. Did she inherit this trait from Mom or Dad?
homes@piefed.world · 2 pts · 45d
Dishwasher? My parents had one. As an adult living on my own, even with roommates, I’ve never lived in a home with one. I’ve never had enough dishes to necessitate one. I don’t think I’ve even seen one in decades.
Seppo@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 45d
Easy if you don't cook much.
homes@piefed.world · 1 pts · 45d
Well, I do, but I wash as I cook. So, by the time my food is done, I have nothing left to do but eat.
I find it to be very convenient, and a better use of cooking time than staring at my phone
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 45d
Sounds like a lot of precious water going down the drain, again and again.
homes@piefed.world · -2 pts · 45d
Explain how it is anything other than extremely efficient
Seppo@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 45d
A dishwasher generally use less water than running dishes under the tap.
FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 45d
But it does use more electricity. And if you are alone you're either waiting a week to wash dishes or doing more loads that aren't full.
IMO in wetter areas where water use isn't a problem you're better off saving the energy and letting the water run in the sink. If water use is an issue it may be worth it to do at least a prewash/soak in a filled sink then do a faster running rinse in the second sink, or a filled rinse with a mild anti bacterial agent if you're cool with that.
homes@piefed.world · -2 pts · 45d
How? Washing dishes under the tap uses exactly 0 electricity. How does using a dishwasher use less electricity than that?
I like to hear your explanation for that
False@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
They said water not electricity. And unless you're using cold water it takes electricity to heat water usually.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 45d
The amount of water used for the first item would be enough to clean all of them, but your method requires fresh rinse water for each, even if you have a sinkful of suds sitting (and getting cold) while you work.
homes@piefed.world · -3 pts · 45d
That sounds like a terribly inefficient way to wash. That’s not how I wash my dishes.
Clearly, your mother didn’t teach you how to wash up. Or, she didn’t teach you how to wash up very well. Shame on you both. and I’m a goddamn American, and even I know better.
Ew
And Shame. Shame on you.
And how fucking dare you try to blame anyone other than yourself
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 45d
I clean up as I cook by loading the cooking items in the dishwasher, arranged to leave places for the serving and eating dishes, which get added immediately after use throughout the day. No rinsing, just scraping. Last thing at night, when I've fed the cat and put her used bowl in, I start the dishwasher. It washes and rinses and sanitizes the whole day's dishes in 3 gallons of water, or about 1½ minutes worth of running my California Water Saver kitchen tap. For a standard unrestricted tap it's less than a minute. Even a highly efficient hand-washer like yourself will have trouble beating that.
I'm sorry that this topic is getting you so upset. And I'm not saying you ought to change how you do your dishes. It's likely that in your area there isn't a constant threat of drought, and your electricity may not come from solar and wind, so the ecological tradeoff works the other way. Plus your method brings you joy, which is worth a lot more than the opinions of a few random people on the internet.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · -2 pts · 45d
this is fucking baffling to me because EVERYONE here has a dishwasher and has had one for at least.. two generations now..
The only places that don't have one is tiny apartments where it would occupy half the kitchen.
homes@piefed.world · 2 pts · 45d
Where is the “here” to which you’re referring? I have lived in the United States for the last 47 years (since my birth), and I have lived in six different states (UT, CO, MN, NY, NH, FL). In each of these, I have occupied apartments and houses that had at least 3 to 6 bedrooms.
So I’m really not sure what you’re talking about.
What I understand the least is your hostility
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 44d
I've lived in over 20 apartments in 4 different US states. Only one of them did not have a dishwasher and that was over 20 years ago. It's been exceedingly rare that I even saw a place without one. So yeah your comments and anger about this are strange.
homes@piefed.world · -2 pts · 44d
It’s so strange that someone would tell such a fantastical lie. Also strange that someone would feel the need to compete in such an odd way.
I’m gonna block you. You certainly have nothing of value to add to any conversation. Nobody likes a shit stirrer.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 44d
Yeah I agree it's bizarre that someone would tell the lie that they've lived for decades without having a dishwasher and on top of that, pretend it's totally normal.
Also thanks for blocking me! Will be nice not to hear from you moving forward!
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 44d
i checked their post history and they reference being drunk while commenting previously, so i can only assume they went on one hell of a bender and fixated on dishwashers while struggling with some sort of trauma..
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 44d
Before I decided to move into my current place I had a moment where I noticed the listing page said the place didn't have a dishwasher and I didn't remember seeing one specifically when viewing the place, so I texted the property manager. His response: "yes, it has a dishwasher, that was just an oversight. All modern properties have a dishwasher." Not sure if he said that because of laws in this state or what but it basically reflects my experience also. I've very rarely even seen a home without a dishwasher, it's been years since I saw one.
So I agree with you. This guy is quite weird...
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
to all the folks complaining about dry pizza.
skillet, 1 shot glass of water, two slices of pizza, over medium heat. cover it.
boom, fresh as delivery.
0ndead@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 45d
Steamed pizza. Cursed.
justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io · 2 pts · 45d
Only steam it to soften. Then bake as normal.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
I guess I should have mentioned to uncover it and cook it normally to crisp.
Zephyr@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 45d
You need to start early with kids.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 45d
That pizza will keep much better in plastics bags, or foil or containers. The fridge will just dry it out exposed like that.
It’s dominos anyway though, so it’s going to be terrible no matter what. Probably better off not even trying to store it.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 45d
slightly dried-out pizza is gourmet shit, it's like how salami is made.
0ndead@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 45d
I don’t even bother putting mine in the fridge. That shit stays room temp until it’s eaten.
Bloomcole@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 44d
Worse is she has no taste
possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 45d
Honesty I would put it down
remon@ani.social · 4 pts · 45d
She's a her and that really sounds a bit too drastic.
Noja@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 45d
I would eat it personally, cold pizza is fine.
M137@lemmy.today · -3 pts · 45d
"efficientlyly"
Yeah, makes sense your daughter isn't able to do basic things, her parents seem like idiots too.