Meet my new puppy: Ass!

459 points · 214 comments · view on lemmy.world

214 Comments

over_clox@lemmy.world · 64 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Instructions unclear, ate the puppy.

Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I think we're supposed to name you now?

No_Change_Just_Money@feddit.de · 11 pts · 2y

I suggest "Rover Cloxworth Van Puppyeater"

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 62 pts · 2y (8 replies)

Cum.

I had to jerk off before posting just to make this comment true.

KnowledgeableNip@leminal.space · 43 pts · 2y

Thank you for your snackrifice.

Speculater@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y (1 reply)

This ruins the edge.

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 14 pts · 2y

All goon things must come to an end. 😌

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y (2 replies)

You had to?

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 18 pts · 2y (1 reply)

What was I supposed to do? Lie? I am a good boy, sir. 😤

dumbass@leminal.space · 5 pts · 2y

I respect your commitment to telling the truth!

robocall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Did you aim it towards your face?

hidden_splendor@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Cum, Come!

FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io · 27 pts · 2y

Taquito

Fits pretty well if you ask me...

MsPenguinette@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y

Cheese Stick ain't a terrible name tho

doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 2y

Ibuprofen

owatnext@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Wood glue.

Hule@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

As long as it's non-toxic.

owatnext@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Mmm. Tacky. Now with a new non-toxic formula.

Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Wood-fired pizza ?

owatnext@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

All I do is crunch numbers and eat wood glue. No pizza.

HFMo@lemm.ee · 16 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Puppy

meep_launcher@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

Hush Puppy.

That's not what you ate, that's what you said when you ate it.

Pinklink@lemm.ee · 15 pts · 2y (2 replies)

My left leg.

(If somebody could come get me off this desert island that’d be great)

milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Shuffle one letter over to dessert island and you'll be good for a bit.

AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

I don't know why you went for the left. Plenty of meat left on the right one. We'll send a team out in a month.

S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Richard!

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 7 pts · 2y

please be referring to dick

wander1236@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 2y

Totino's Pizza Rolls

baggins@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 2y

Such a cute ham sandwich 🥹

FlickeringScreens@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y

Puppy 🗿

ted@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Banh mi

CptEnder@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

Fuck I want a banh mi

Vytle@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

Cock

Marzanna@yiffit.net · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Kefir

Technically I drank it but it was thick so it was my meal

boatsnhos931@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

How THICC

simplejack@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

Ass

Entropy@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 2y

Brownie

WereCat@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Pancake

Obi@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 2y

Same! Fits him like a glove too.

Alatarius@lemmynsfw.com · 6 pts · 2y

Sushi. Almost seems kind of fitting.

chtk@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 2y

Tripple Choco Cookie.

Kecessa@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2y

Croquette and I think it's a great name

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It was back last August, so... does Ensure count?

Also, I knew a guy who had a little yippy dog named Mr. President. Best dog name ever.

milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Somehow I have a Mitchell and Webb sketch ringing in my head, but I'm not quite sure which.

....

I think it might be the giant death laser.

key@lemmy.keychat.org · 5 pts · 2y

Wasabi Pea no peeing inside!

tias@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 2y

Toast

hOrni@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Richard.

Death_Equity@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Bosco stick, I guess "Bosco" isn't a bad name for a pup.

robocall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Potato!

zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com · 5 pts · 2y

Pot roast, think it fits pretty well

Pothetato@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Chewy (type of compliments granola bar)

boatsnhos931@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Knuckle sandwich 😞

Sorgan71@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

A black man's ass

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Phò Gâu

Razzazzika@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

Actually, Alfredo is an amazing name for that little goi

hudson@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 2y

C A K E

Cornucopiaofplenty@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Ciabatta with sweet potato madras spread, green olives, feta, and Dutch cheese. Rolls off the tongue

frickineh@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Waffles. But my roommate in college bought a puppy before the summer, named it Waffles, took her home, and came back in the fall with an untrained dog that peed in the house and he never cleaned it up. Poor Waffles, she didn't ask to be raised by terrible owners but I ended up moving out early because of her.

MossyFeathers@pawb.social · 1 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I know you're not the owner and so it isn't your job to house-train the dog, but personally I would have asked if it was okay if I trained it for them. I like dogs and working with animals, so personally I'd be more than happy to do it for free so long as they A) aren't demanding I teach the dog tricks (only basic house-training), and B) they follow any instructions I give them.

frickineh@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Oh I tried, but he undermined everything I worked on. I went home to work every weekend so she'd pee on the carpet and he'd just leave it until I got back, so the idea that peeing in the apartment was bad never really stuck. He let her chew a red marker all over the floor, too, and when I walked in to see her doing it and him in the couch ignoring her, he sat up and was like, "oh, uh, bad dog!" It was impossible.

MossyFeathers@pawb.social · 1 pts · 2y

Damn, that sucks.

lobut@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y

Carbonara

christov@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Katsu

Happy with that!

ThelittleDoe@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 2y

Taco 🌮

Donkter@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Cimmanim Roll!

aphlamingphoenix@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

Sprout

OldGrayDog@lemmynsfw.com · 4 pts · 2y

Waffles!

SirBucksworth@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

My girlfriends ass?

Snailpope@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Phat bitch dip: 2 blocks cream cheese 3 cans of shredded chicken drained 5 diced jalapeños Siracha to taste Shredded cheddar

Microwave cream cheese till soft. Mix in chicken, jalapeños, and Siracha. Put in a casserole dish and top with shredded cheese. Bake @ 350f for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted

Edit: Phat is 80s slang for 'Pretty hot and tempting'

Aggravationstation@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 2y

Chicken caesar wrap

MossyFeathers@pawb.social · 4 pts · 2y

Chips and queso

copymyjalopy@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
Killing_Spark@feddit.de · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Chickpea <3

Vytle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Do yk the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on my face

twotonebax@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Hotdog

randint@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz · 3 pts · 2y (4 replies)

soy milk

(kinda fitting actually)

Dave@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Do you eat milk? Or just drink it?

rmuk@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 2y (2 replies)

What about soup?

Dave@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Haha I searched this up, general consensus seems to be if you sip it from a spoon you're eating it, if you do it straight from the bowl you're drinking it. I guess it's the same for milk?

randint@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz · 3 pts · 2y

I interpreted the to eat in this post rather broadly as to consume.

Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y

Cake

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Ramen

whyalone@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y

Emmi Energy Milk High Protein Double Zero Ananas-Kokos

Nomad@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 2y

Tomato

Whirlygirl9@kbin.melroy.org · 3 pts · 2y

Leftovers

RGB3x3@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Enchilada.

Perfect.

kamenlady@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

My little sweet gummy bear

redxef@feddit.de · 3 pts · 2y

Maki

Theme@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 2y

Rex. That's a coincidence, that was my neighbour's dog's name. Shame what happened to him, he was always so friendly. Tasty too

IkarusHagen2@feddit.de · 3 pts · 2y

Ice cream with big juicy balls

pjwestin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Cacio E Pepe

MrBusiness@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 2y

Fist full of granola

Or Fist for short

niktemadur@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Long ago I had this one cat named Birria, because I used to jokingly tell her mother "If you don't behave, I'm going to make birria tacos out of you!"

When I rescued her mom, I thought she was a male, still quite young, and before I'd found a vet she disappeared for a couple of days and came back pregnant. After that, she and every cat I've had since then, male or female, I've taken to the vet to be neutered or spayed before anybody gets knocked up.

Nualkris@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y

Hello Fruit Snack!

Frozzie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Schoggigipfeli

eager_eagle@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Popcorn

Linnce@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Soy milk

randint@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz · 2 pts · 2y

hi fellow soy milk enjoyer. I named this puppy soy milk too

108@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (2 replies)
[ removed ]
JoShmoe@ani.social · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I had to scroll pass eighty people claiming they ate ass before I saw this. Yeah I ate ass then hopped on lemmy, yup.

samus12345@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

And the joke is already made in the title, so either they don't read them or they thought it was so funny they had to repeat it.

EllyEinhorn@feddit.de · 2 pts · 2y

Radish

pipows@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 2y

Bread

MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Gai Satay

NGC2346@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y

blueberry protein milkshake

BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 2y

Udon

CptEnder@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Chip

Not bad actually

Rekonok@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y

Almonds

He can go with Almond

sloppy_diffuser@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y

Waffle

bluemellophone@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Tums

capital@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Potato

MrWafflesNBacon@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Pepperoni and Sausage Pizza

tpyoman@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Wendy's

squid_slime@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Pizza

KeenFlame@feddit.nu · 2 pts · 2y

Ida

TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Awe... little Burrito. So cute.

valek879@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y

Strawberry

Or alternatively: Breakfast.

SuperIce@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Ginger chew

CaptnNMorgan@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 2y

Pulled chicken with BBQ sauce

sirico@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 2y

sirratcha pizza

synae@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 2y

Quesadilla!

Alsjemenou@lemy.nl · 2 pts · 2y

Popcorn!

turbowafflz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Honestly kiwi is a pretty good name for a dog

RBWells@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Hi, Chip!

p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Corpse doesn't roll off the tongue well, though

Decency8401@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 2y

Rice

w_l_l_w@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Jammy dodger

RandomVideos@programming.dev · 2 pts · 2y

Cake

Spider89@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Salami

ikidd@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Chicken tits

rmuk@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 2y (1 reply)
PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 2 pts · 2y

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

David Firth, is that you?

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

TrendigOsthyvel@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Africana

nifty@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Banana

DampCanary@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

ox heart

::: spoiler Tap for spoiler tomato :::

BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 2y

Meatloaf.

ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

BORGER!

krimsonbun@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Dog

ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Goose

nosey33@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Fried shrimp! I think it fits him :)

Kaiyoto@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Sammich

Sweetpeaches69@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Street taco

Lime66@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Sweet cinnamon popcorn

frcl@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 2y

Jack Fruitburger

Empricorn@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 2y

Tikka (Masala).

db2@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

You must be very bendy.

Moose@moose.best · 2 pts · 2y

Muffin :3

LostWon@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 2y

Egg Salad Tortilla Chip

Siegfried@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Spinach salad

grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 2y

Bean salad what

Magnetron@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 2y

Fish soup

MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 2y

Mini cake

RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
RinseDrizzle@midwest.social · 1 pts · 2y

Hog Frites

Twas at a brewery eating some bomb pork fries. Could dig it.

Liz@midwest.social · 1 pts · 2y

Peanut butter! (⁠✿⁠ ⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠)

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Worms

rmuk@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 2y (3 replies)

FFS, someone always had to bring up politics.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (2 replies)

samus12345@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Those are snakes, not worms. It says so on the container! Reading closer, it's also in German. Why didn't they call them Zwillingsschlangen?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Because then it would be zu lang

shneancy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Egg :)

Skkorm@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Meatball 😁

Baroness_Buttslut@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y

Ritaline

DerpyPlayz18@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Wafer

Draegur@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Potato ball

Either that or empanada, since i'm still in the process of eating the potato ball.

KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
ivanafterall@kbin.social · 1 pts · 2y

Blueberry Muffin

PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Scrambled Eggs and Toast

LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Powder

aww that's a cute name for the kyoot little pup

razorwiregoatlick@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Meatloaf

Sierk@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Wokkel

Brickhead92@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Turkish delight!

Tini@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Mango

TopCoffee@programming.dev · 1 pts · 2y

Derby Pie isn’t the worst name ever. “Here little Derby! Who’s a good wittle Derby Pie? ”

morhp@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 2y

Berry Danish

FreshLight@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y

Grape

FelixMortane@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 2y

Sausage

Marthirial@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Yummmms

jimp@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Heck sausage

PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 2y

Honey Nut Flake

Leah96xxx@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 2y

Custard

cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 2y

Trail Mix

GnomeKat@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 2y

Smarties :3 tbh not a bad name for such a cutie 🥰

NihilisticOptimist@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Cheerios

rjthyen@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Dog? It's an okay name I guess

greedytacothief@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Fig newton, but separately fig or newton would be even better names

VOwOxel@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 2y

Mushroom Soup

Professorozone@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Oooooo, I just ate a Kind bar.

halfeatenpotato@lonestarlemmy.mooo.com · 1 pts · 2y

Panino

Underwaterbob@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Donut

Not bad.

AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Raspberry Chocolate chip ice cream?

Or chicken fingers.

GGNZ@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 2y

Mashed Potato

Landless2029@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Boba

justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 2y

Cute little lahmajo

Tabula_stercore@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Rumination

nutt_goblin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Torta

Honestly it would be kinda cute, if not for the slang meaning...

chrisbit@leminal.space · 1 pts · 2y

Moussaka

Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Tofu

FlembleFabber@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y

Golden cup (goudkuipje in Dutch)

HessiaNerd@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Falafel

SAF77@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Cheese Noodles.

PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 2y

Richard 😏

lath@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Peaches

littletranspunk@lemmus.org · 1 pts · 2y

Beans

Crack0n7uesday@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Potato

TheCheddarCheese@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Sandwich

Manzas@lemdro.id · 1 pts · 2y

Eggs with spilled tea (Spilled egg)

samus12345@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Pretzel

erie09@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Pik-nik

rektdeckard@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Mexican Bowl

yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com · 1 pts · 2y

Pastry

737@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
Xanis@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Corndog 😎

R3tl3f@feddit.de · 1 pts · 2y

Honeybread

MacNCheezus@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 2y

Apple

doublenut@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Burnt Cookie

UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 2y

Sushi

MilitantVegan@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
Thcdenton@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

Brownie

Shadowedcross@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

Muffin.