I Used To Be A Real Piece Of Shit

1.0k points · 79 comments · view on lemmy.world

79 Comments

its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 87 pts · 3d

Someone else would have bought these plums and treated them right.

FlexibleToast@lemmy.world · 71 pts · 3d (6 replies)

This is why I like living close to a grocery store. I make lots of small trips instead of a big one.

MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 3d (2 replies)

This is the way. I just buy what I need every day. Barely ever waste something

OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 3d

That's what my parents did growing up. They didn't have a refrigerator and when they got one, it was super small.

adarza@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 3d

when i rode transit every day to work, that's exactly what i used to do. i'd just stop on the way home, then pick up the next bus going my way.

FishFace@piefed.social · 18 pts · 3d

Ew, leaving the house multiple times a week?

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3d (1 reply)

I shop once a week, and get everything I need for the week. One trip, twenty minutes in and out. No processed packaged foods, mostly fresh and frozen vegetables, fruit, and organic chicken (no antibiotics). Zero food waste, because even fresh vegetables will survive a week in the fridge. On the last day before shopping day, my fridge is virtually empty.

I don't like shopping, so I made it as efficient as I could.

FlexibleToast@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2d

Yeah that works. Especially because you could do it once a week at a farmer's market and get the really good stuff. I was doing that for a while.

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 3d (4 replies)

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 3d (3 replies)

Why does this look like Leslie Nielsen doing an impression of the main guy from The A-Team, while cosplaying as Ric Flair?

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 3d (2 replies)
SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 3d

Let's be real, if you haven't watched Eastbound and Down, it's worth it just for Stevie.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2d

100 guesses and I would not have guessed Will Farrell. I did not recognize him at all. Even now that you point it out, it's borderline. Granted I didn't see the video with audio. I saw the video while I was in a public space, and since I'm not an asshole, and since I had no headphones, I just watched it on mute. Still only BARELY see that as Will Farrel.

Like someone else could come along, and troll me, and tell me you're trolling me, and that it's NOT Will Farrell, and I'd probably think they were telling the truth. That's like Tim Curry levels of acting disguise.

Jinarched@lemmy.ca · 28 pts · 3d (7 replies)

hirihit640@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 3d (6 replies)

what movie is this?

LemmyUser0909@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 3d
Hazmatastic@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d

People have said the title, but fun fact those are real skeletons not prop replicas

tetris11@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 2d

It's the episode of Lassie where Martha falls into the cesspit

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3d

Poltergeist.

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 3d

I thought “Poltergeist” but I may be wrong.

renrenPDX@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 3d

Poltergeist, maybe…

baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 3d (2 replies)

I feel like the fridge thinks people can’t change

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 10 pts · 3d

I thought it was the compressor making that sound when I put that food in, but it's just the fridge either laughing or sighing.

tomi000@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3d

Its your fault for getting those sloppy plums.

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 3d (3 replies)

The raspberries and avocados play roulette tho'!

prex@aussie.zone · 12 pts · 3d (1 reply)

You putting it all on red, or black?

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 3d

Yes.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3d

Fuck avocados and their 15-minute ripeness window.

TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 3d (1 reply)

Me every other week throwing out the food I thought better me would make. No. You ate the easy food like always, numbskull.

mig@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3d

I started a compost and freeze all my meat till use. Goodbye, guilt! Those plums are bettering my soil now! I'm stealing south america's water and nutrients!

Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 3d (2 replies)

But are there any leftovers of sloppy steaks?

OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 3d (1 reply)

gotta get them REAL sloppy!

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 3d

They can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water!

Davel23@fedia.io · 14 pts · 3d

I still am, but I used to be as well.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 3d

I bought these plums for you, past me! The fuck?

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 12 pts · 3d (8 replies)

Don't think I have ever really had this problem. I just eat the stuff I buy because it would be a waste of money not to.

Also best before dates are just a suggestion.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3d (3 replies)

I love how my local grocery stores sell steaks at a deep discount when they're a day or two from expiring. Like, 75% off for aged beef? OK, if you insist.

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 7 pts · 3d (2 replies)

I miss when heavy discounts like that were common. Much harder to find now. They usually manage to sell it off at much lower discounts instead.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3d (1 reply)

I found a 5 pound slab of skirt steak for about $6 a couple of weeks ago. I thought I was hallucinating.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3d

Before or after eating the expired beef?

baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 3d (2 replies)

I’ll eat leftovers a week later and people act like I’m eating a baby. Sniff test motherfuckers, heard of it? People waste so much food it infuriates me.

sukhmel@programming.dev · 6 pts · 3d

People have different sensitivity to smells; I wouldn't trust my nose to detect when something starts to spoil, and when it completely went awry I am able to see it anyway.

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 3d

Most things I eat don't even need a sniff test. You can see and feel veg is going off before you can smell it and its safe to eat for longer than I am willing to eat it. Its only once it starts going mouldy or slimy that its unsafe.

Soy sauce, honey, salt, dried herbs are essentially never going off. Worst with herbs is reduced flavour, but I grow my own. Been meaning to make a smoked salt and herb mix sometime. Got to actually smoke some salt though.

Arshem@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3d

I don't worry about the dates, but sometimes it's mouldy or smells rotten and I throw it out at that point.

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 3d (1 reply)

Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg..."I used to be a real piece of shit. I still am, but I used to be too." /s

adarza@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 3d

yup. here, too.

first thing in my head reading the post title was '...still am, but i used to be, too'

Gork@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 3d

Sorry, I was in the mood for beans

Thor_Whale@lemmus.org · 8 pts · 3d

I helped my parents clean out the refrigerator a couple years ago. I found the usual expired jams and jellies and other pickled things that were about 2 to 3 years overdue. But when I went into the freezer the oldest date I found was something that was hovering on 20 years past due. It's amazing how people neglect their icebox.

ryannathans@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 3d (5 replies)

Throw the plums in the garden, free fertiliser

CannonFodder@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3d (3 replies)

Maybe even a plum tree!

ryannathans@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 3d (1 reply)

Even more free food waste!

Bipauler@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 3d

Infinite fertilizer hack

diablicja@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 3d

As long as you live somewhere plum trees can grow! (Cries in taiga)

Katana314@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3d

Yes! Rodent corpses make great fertilizer. Just missing the step where you kill the rodents…

bluegreenpurplepink@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 3d (3 replies)
  • I have eaten
  • the plums
  • that were in
  • the icebox
  • and which
  • you were probably
  • saving
  • for breakfast
  • Forgive me
  • they were delicious
  • so sweet
  • and so cold

(This Is Just To Say, William Carlos Williams)

monotremata@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 2d (2 replies)
Two9A@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d (1 reply)

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So succinct, so poetic.

monotremata@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 2d

oops! Sorry. It's a recent (well, compared to the original) parody/homage/whatever of the poem:

  • This is just to say
  • I have eaten
  • the rich
  • that were at
  • the golf club
  • and which
  • you were probably
  • saving
  • for class war
  • Forgive me
  • they were delicious
  • so white
  • and so old

It was posted on Twitter by "your friend Helen" (@hels) many years back. I assume they were the author but I really don't know.

NastyNative@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 3d (1 reply)

I been so fucking strategic with my food this year that for the 1st time in my life the freezer food gets eaten and I have to go shopping cause we are eating everything in the fridge. I buy small eat everything and repeat and I gotta say it’s a good feeling.

kestrel7_7@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2d

Is it possible to learn such power? Lmao congrats, I’ve always been bad about this.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 3d (4 replies)

Literally have a few oranges in the way back that have been in there for months.

If oranges could stink, my fridge would probably stink.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 3d

For me it's the limes. They always look fine in there for months but when I grab one the underside looks like Chthulu's butthole.

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 3d (2 replies)

Random craft idea you can say you planned all along! Cut oranges in half and scrape out the insides (eat/drink if safe to do so) then dry out the skins. Either in the oven or placed in direct sunlight should be fine.

Once dry, paint the outside of each half red and add white spots. You now have a mushroom cap! Use a small branch/stick and cut it to length and use that as the stem. Glue together.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2d (1 reply)

Once the skin dries out like that, and you paint it, wouldn't it continue to degrade over time?

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 2d

Once dry it would have quite a long shelf life.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3d (2 replies)

People can change.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3d

Yeah, but you won't. Plum genocidist.

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 3d
[ removed ]
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 3d

It's why I stopped buying milk.

Allero@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 3d

That's why we need to normalize food sharing and foster the community

snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3d

Its easier to just eat crackers.

Taleya@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 3d

Start a worm farm. Every left over is FEED MY GAGH

lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 2d

I'm worried that the baby thinks people can't change.

discocactus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3d

At least at our house it's just more expensive compost.

dr_evil@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 3d
[ removed ]
tigermountain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3d

I don't keep my plums in the fridge.

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2d (2 replies)

guess i'm worse. i buy eggs and sometimes they spoil before i can get around to using them. lost almost 18 so far this year

Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d (1 reply)

Dude eggs are good like forever past the date. Just put them in water. If they float, toss them, otherwise they are fine. I've eaten them like a month after the date.

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d

thats what i do to test them. lots of floaters

BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2d

I bought muscadine grapes last week. Delicious, like plums and grapes in one.

titanicx@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 2d

Eh, is a part of life. No need to stress this hard over it.