How many sexual partners have you had?

33 points · 104 comments · view on lemmy.world

104 Comments

reader@lemmy.zip · 78 pts · 59d (6 replies)

counting your mom?

1

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 44 pts · 59d (5 replies)

Congratulations, you’re the ten thousandth six hundred and forty third that she’s had and also that low on her list to call back.

reader@lemmy.zip · 24 pts · 59d (2 replies)

that sounds about right hahaha

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 11 pts · 59d (1 reply)

She remembers you well with those two pumps and a squirt.

reader@lemmy.zip · 26 pts · 59d

that was the other guy, I was the one with two lumps and a shirt

netvor@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 58d

ten thousandth six hundred and forty third

damn! .. that's my favorite number, I wanted to be that ... th.

(my second favorite number is a 999999 so i better rush..)

socsa@piefed.social · 3 pts · 58d

Oh she calls me back. You can call me Back Shot Daddy.

rustyfish@piefed.world · 42 pts · 59d (2 replies)

Also I am one of the few who didn’t fuck OPs mom.

Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 58d

Don’t lie, everyone fucked ops mom

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 4 pts · 58d

yet !

NewDark@lemmy.today · 31 pts · 59d (1 reply)

About 6-7

SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 59d

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy

Brkdncr@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 59d

Just the number of upvotes I have.

Fleppensteijn@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 59d

By some miracle, more than zero.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 21 pts · 59d (4 replies)

I lost count. I'm on Grindr at least once a week and almost never hook up with the same people twice.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 3 pts · 59d (2 replies)

How many years now?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 6 pts · 59d (1 reply)

4 maybe 5 years now? Forgot when I moved here.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 9 pts · 59d

Five years is at least two hundred sixty partners which is impressive.

underThunder@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 58d
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spacegoat@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 59d (4 replies)

More than 20. I disagree that it makes it less meaningful. But I have learned that there are many women who are bad at sex. It’s not just men.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 6 pts · 58d (1 reply)

Tell us about the bad ones

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 58d

I got one, my second to last partner. I blame "squirting" becoming a thing. She would push so hard to pee to make it seem like she was squirting that she would push me out every minute or so.

Nomad@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 58d (1 reply)

Agreed. The worst once are those who think sex is a thing only men want and swear they have no need at all and don't know what they want or like.

spacegoat@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 58d

My absolute pet peeve is women who don’t know how to get themselves off. I’m willing to put in the work, but if she doesn’t even know what works for her, then it’s never going to work.

unknown@piefed.social · 18 pts · 59d (6 replies)
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SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 58d (5 replies)
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unknown@piefed.social · 7 pts · 57d (4 replies)
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SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 57d (2 replies)
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unknown@piefed.social · 6 pts · 57d (1 reply)

We had a few slightly older Thai and Korean girls at our shop for a bit, who were like that when it came to subtlety. They were fantastic negotiators though and regularly seemed to make bank upselling random bullshit to guys.

I had a double booking with one of them once and spent much of it trying to keep my mouth busy so I wouldn't be keeled over laughing while she was basically rincing this guys wallet of cash selling him her kegal exercises (and he fucking paid her too. The massive Samoan guy standing outside the door was probably good insentive tho).

Some of the fetish jobs were a lot of fun, one lovely older dude I saw a few times had a whole bunch of very expensive sex toys and 'apparatus' and was super into using them on others. Always a fun night.

I also really enjoyed the handful of nights I did at this club that involved basically just edging tied up guys in front of people. The guy running that event was super creepy towards me though, like I'd start feeling unsafe the moment he even entered the room type of creepy. I blocked the club from messaging me again after he escalated things.

The rest of the fet stuff I did wasn't anywhere near as fun tbh. I stopped avertising for it on my profiles after one guy got violent, luckily he still paid me but the bruising it left me with was bad.

Also waaay too many guys want to be pissed on.

SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 57d
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Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 57d

The only time I ever used the services of a sex worker was after my wife passed away. We didn't have sex, we just cuddled naked for an hour and I cried all over her. It was quite healing for me, as she had really huge boobs, like my wife did.

LouNeko@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 59d (5 replies)

Zero. I'm over 30. Who decided to make us so stupidly resilient, I want to fucking die already.

(Those things are only marginally related)

LouNeko@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 59d (4 replies)

I wish there was like a Craigslist for life.

Offering roughly 40 years of life remaining.

  • Teeth slightly crooked but all still original from manufacturer (missed a service intervall in 2014).

  • Hair at roughly 80% capacity.

  • Glasses have to replaced every 3-4 years.

  • Used to have "Eat what ever you want, never gain weight" package, but the subscription ran out (not offered anymore).

  • Back pain set in a few years ago but still managable.

  • Doesn't like arugula, coriander or chocolate above 60%

  • Addicted to sugar

  • No job and 1.73 GPA Bachelors.

  • ADHD bundled with Depression included

    Genuenly, from the bottom of my heart, something, take me the fuck out. I'll take pancreatic cancer at this point as long as it's certain death.

HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 58d

okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 59d (2 replies)

We should start a club for those who feel like they have lived too long

unknown@piefed.social · 6 pts · 58d

Ngl I sometimes really wish I was wasn't such a misanthrope and more predisposed to cultish behaviour.

Some Jim Jones motherfucker taking the reigns with fruity drinks and the company of all my new cult freinds, would be so, so nice.

I barely even enjoy talking to people online anymore though, so like fuck am I going to be putting myself out there irl and networking to find the right cult.

LouNeko@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 58d

The Suicide Squad.

SadSadSatellite@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 59d

9? I feel like there's one or two I'm not thinking of.

Edit: There were. So 11.

I've never actually tried to count before, I've always felt like i'd been with fewer partners than most others. I guess not.

I've never really gone looking for one time things though, so even though I started at 13, it took twenty years to get to 11 people.

Edit again: 13. Can't remember shit anymore.

Gonzako@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 59d

2 so far, hopefully 3 soon should todays date go well!

laughingm0n@piefed.world · 15 pts · 58d (1 reply)

26 if I include your mom

notgold@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 58d

27 including OP's dad right

TheHotze@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 58d

Zero. One of the easy ways to get wizard powers without being a racist.

phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 58d (4 replies)

Maybe a hundred by now, lost count. My wife has hundreds more than me, and we keep increasing our numbers together, so to speak. God I love my wife and I love my life.

Wife an I love to regularly go to sex clubs, we have regular partners we play with a lot, and we both give eachother the freedom that if we have an opportunity to have sex while the other isn't there, take it. We both simply love sex and we're super open and honest and respectful about our wants, needs, and desires

beegnyoshi@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 58d (1 reply)

With this many partners don't you get afraid of catching STDs? How do you manage that?

unknown@piefed.social · 4 pts · 57d
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Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 57d

Nice. I'm poly and demi so I can't do that myself, but my wife has partners over for sex pretty regularly. She keeps thinking that I care, and I keep telling her they could fuck in front of me and it wouldn't bother me a bit.

eneff@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 56d

Does your name happen to be Jack?

gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 15 pts · 59d

none, and i have no particular desire to have one.

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 58d

So far, I have only had one sexual partner. Thank you for asking, SatansMaggotyCumFart.

Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu · 11 pts · 59d

About 6 iirc. It's been a long time since I started that count, and that wasn't too early in my life.

I think you get to increase that number a lot either in your 20ies or above your 50ies, depending on how your middle age goes and your teen age went.... If you got divorced or widowed and or if your character.

Currently on track not to increase that number in my life.

sns@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 59d (2 replies)

Low 3 digits, lost count years ago.

cokeslutgarbage@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 59d (1 reply)

Glad I'm not the only one. I stopped counting at 50, and that was over 15 years ago, I'd be surprised if that number hasn't tripled at this point.

sns@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 58d

In the immortal words of George Carlin:

"I've never fucked a 10 but I have fucked 5 twos"

BladeFederation@piefed.social · 10 pts · 58d (1 reply)

Is it bad if I say I don't remember?

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 58d

Yeah, I started to count and just got kinda sad. Remembering the mistakes they were, or that I made. I don't really care all that much anyways.

ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 59d

Why do you ask?

Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 58d

Zero

Just don't have the drive. Perfectly happy with not bothering with the social dynamics required to flirt / commit etc. I don't have much need to have a partner either short term or long term.

No idea if I'm just weird or if it's a somewhat common thing for some people.

netvor@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 58d

Lost count but I'm confident it's somewhere between zero and 23423431.

BurgerBaron@quokk.au · 8 pts · 59d (2 replies)

This thread reminded me of Lasagna Cat Sex Survey Results: https://youtu.be/KgmoMO66uPg

BurgerBaron, 5. hangs up

rmuk@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 59d (1 reply)

It still pisses me off that so many Lasagna Cat videos were taken down.

BurgerBaron@quokk.au · 3 pts · 59d

https://archive.org/details/lasagnacat

Yeah :( Grab a copy of the archive!

Takapapatapaka@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 8 pts · 59d

One and still with them :D though i'm far from puritan and really into sexual freedom, in some way i'm weirdly proud of or attached to that.

bhamlin@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 58d

I'm pretty sure all of them were sexual. I however, am not.

Bonje@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 59d

1 Life fucks you without consent

trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 59d (1 reply)

3

MrShankles@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 57d

Ayyyy, twinsies... 3 for me too

ChexMax@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 58d
  1. But it feels really weird that someone I slept with hundreds of times, often in sessions of 40 minutes to two hours would count the same towards that number as someone who I slept with once for 15 minutes.

Of the 12, 4 were a single time, 1 was a few times and the rest were over a year of sleeping together, usually 2 or 3.

For what it's worth the sex was only physically pleasurable in the long term deals for me.

PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@anarchist.nexus · 7 pts · 59d (1 reply)

0 sadness

Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 58d

Emojiguy detected in the wild no way, love that lil guy

rmuk@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 59d

I'd guess a few hundred if we count airport hookups and the like. There was this period where I was doing three return flights a week and rarely missed a hook-up. Also, staying overnight in foreign city.

Also: don't bother with the mile high club. Even the first class toilets on long-hauls don't have room.

Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 7 pts · 59d (1 reply)

1

Never could figure out what the difference is supposed to be between different holes. So every hole was a goal, took the first one, got her pregnant after a while and married her.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 4 pts · 58d

that's very pragmatic

underThunder@thelemmy.club · 6 pts · 58d
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itkovian@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 58d

Somewhere between 0 and 0

OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 58d (2 replies)

Between 20 & 30. I think around 25. Definitely not more than 30.
I’m ugly so I can’t complain.

sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 58d

More than zero means you're not ugly

aGenitalBreeze@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 58d

Pretty much same. I wouldn't call myself ugly though I consider myself aggressively average

And most of em were because I used to do so many drugs. I've died multiple times.

noxypaws@pawb.social · 5 pts · 59d

Does foot stuff count??

Ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 58d

Trick question. Everyone on the Internet is a nerdy virgin waiting for Mom to bring us pizza rolls.

Town@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 59d

It really depends on how you define a sexual partner. Between 6 and many dozens?

python@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 57d

Just one 🤷 I've always been picky, so anyone who'd get that far would be someone I could see working out long-term. We're in our 7th year together now.

fraksken@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 59d

Who's counting? Hundreds.

toomanypancakes@crazypeople.online · 5 pts · 59d

Just two.

jtrek@startrek.website · 5 pts · 58d (1 reply)

I realized the other day that I don't have a solid count. A friend of mine revealed they have a document with a line item for everyone they've slept with and a brief summary.

I'd guess it could reasonably round to 100, though.

phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 58d

I don't mind anyone sleeping with a hundred people, or more even. Don't mind the diary either, just that to me that sounds like too much work that nobody would ever read, but to each their own

manuremy@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 59d

If I only count the people who treated me with respect, cared for my safety and stopped when caused pain, I'd say.. one.

Bipauler@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 59d

This reminds me of that scene from the OG Clerks lol

bumbling_bee@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 57d
  1. Thanks everyone, for the very entertaining lunch break read!
Siegfried@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 58d

2 .. unless you let me count my hands

Typotyper@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 57d (3 replies)

a virgin at 21, a 29 year relationship and then approx 15 in 8 years

Galapagon@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 57d (2 replies)

15 from age 50-58?

Typotyper@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 57d (1 reply)

Ya

Galapagon@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 43d

I love that for you

Strawberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 58d

It depends on what you count

Triasha@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 57d
Semjeza@fedinsfw.app · 4 pts · 59d

About 20.

More if you include oral, manual, and the like.

Beth@piefed.social · 4 pts · 59d

Truly lost count. Not that many. A handful in my twenties but I’m not positive of the exact number. They were either not that memorable one time things, or 2-3 year relationships.

sukhmel@programming.dev · 3 pts · 58d

I think 9, of them one was a one-night stand and the rest I dated for a while

davidgro@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 59d

I think it's 5. I might have forgotten one or two, but it's near there.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 58d

These answers are wild, didn't know lemmings were such dirty dogs (in a good way <3)

Being the awkward socially disabled neuromasala dude that I am, I count myself lucky to have even met my wife and had the guts to say "hello" when we finally met face to face after 5 months of texting. I absolutely can't fathom hooking up with someone I barely know, and here y'all are going "oh I lost count", "low 3 digits", "are we counting orgies..?"

RBWells@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 57d

I am not sure. Older and experienced, though. A few before my first monogamous run with my ex, that lasted about 20 years, then a few more, then my husband & I did some swinging, and have settled down to just us for about 8 years. But every day, it's nice.

LoveEspresso@cafe.coffee-break.cc · 2 pts · 59d

Not a single.

Comrade_Squid@lemmy.ml · -1 pts · 58d (4 replies)

I don't count, find it degrading to others...

phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 58d (1 reply)

Oh come on

What is degrading about simply stating facts? I've had one partner or two or ten, or a hundred or more... What is the degrading part here?

I've had sex with hundreds of partners and all of them enjoyed it by my knowing, what is degrading about it? One, two, or a bunch of people having fun together is degrading for you?

My wife has had hundreds of partners too, probably more than I. She is amazing and I respect her to no end. Am I degrading her by saying this? Is it degrading that she likes sex?

Live and let live, buddy. Don't judge people, and don't make such a huge deal about sex, it's not a religion

Comrade_Squid@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 58d

Idk just feels like a degrading thing to do, I used to brag as a younger man but I don't feel it is appropriate now and looking back don't feel it was appropriate then.

You do you, feel however you feel about it, personally, I find it as degrading.

dabu@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 58d (1 reply)

Having sex with you is degrading?

Comrade_Squid@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 58d

I like to think not, I just wouldn't want to treat previous partners as a notch on the bed post.

SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone · -11 pts · 59d (4 replies)

Do you expect anyone to be honest about this? Do you think if someone honestly had a massive amount of sexual partners we would even believe them? It's the internet, anyone can make up anything about themselves. Even if someone does answer honestly, if they really are a total sex fiend, people will just write it off as someone making shit up. Because it's the internet.

Anyway, I lost count but I've bedded well over a hundred. Never married, no children, nothing to get in the way.

See what I mean? Am I lying or telling the truth? Only I know, and everyone else has good reason to doubt me.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 14 pts · 59d

With a comment like that I’m guessing you’re underestimating and probably hit up two or three hundred.

Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu · 11 pts · 59d (1 reply)

I see plenty of believable and probably not made up replies already that make your comment incorrect.

Get a life, go increase that number for yourself, promise it's worthwhile :)

Take care friend.

SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 59d

I knew no one would believe the truth. *shrugs

backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 58d

I expect reasonable honesty. It’s an anonymous confessional and people seem to like to confess to another human for the sake of putting the truth to words, just ask your local bartender what people will eventually say.

I can’t give an honest answer because my 20s and 30s were a series of non-stop hookups at bars and parties, plus the early years of CL and dating apps before they got overrun by bots and sellers. I’d say low triple digits, but idk. Got a friend my age who claims over 1000, and having known her for 30yrs, yeah, that’s honest.

There’s also a lot of commenters admitting to zero or less than ten. Religious views can push people to downplay their numbers, but I doubt anybody is admitting to being a 30+ year old virgin for Heaven points. I think that’s honesty and reflects what we know about the loneliness and disconnection epidemic that’s been occurring for the past decade and a half.

As a 44yo who’s never been married, has no kids, and only had two significant dating relationships that lasted less than two years each (both of which had at least one threesome), I find your claim entirely plausible.