You can broadcast one message to the entire world. What do you say?

People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.

Be excellent to eachother, and party on dudes.

"This is God. Quit it with the killing each other and ruining the environment I made for you.

Don't make me come down there."

"You have been chosen. Tell no one. The false idol must be killed."

Then just watch the chaos unfold.

System reboot in five minutes

Or

Man its been awile since I logged into this game

you just lost the game

"Test, test, testicles. That is all."

List of a random string of numbers in a monotone voice, have people go insane trying to figure out it means

There is a very high risk of wildfires nationally. Residents, landowners and visitors should not undertake any activity that could start a fire, including disposable barbequea, firepits, garden incinerators or fireworks. Even a small flame can rapidly develop into a major wildfire placing lives, homes, businesses and emergency responders at risk.

Follow official updates and report signs of fire immediately by calling 999. Search gov.UK/alerts for more information.

"No religion was ever correct so far. Ludo was the son of all gods of the universe all along"

Either that or "12 naked cowboys waiting to be fucked on Ram Ranch"

I think I'll say "I am the Lord your god. You guys are sure fucking the climate up. You'd better lynch those oil executives and have a communist revolution before I send a big fire. I promised no floods, fires are still game."

"A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!," etc.

You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in one place! Now you just have to find it!

'Thank you for your obedience in making us rich and your world warm for us. We have no further use for you, so now we, the Reptilians, will take our rightful place as masters of this planet.'

Hey everyone, the Lord here. The Jews aren't allowed to have Israel anymore. I'm giving it to the Palestinians, because the Jews wouldn't behave. The Jews can have the moon instead.

"Hey, I don't work here "

Change da world

My final message

Goodbye

“Love each other, damnit.”

If you believe in any God, then voting is admitting doubt

I am the lord your god. I sacrificed my only son. To any who would hoard a thousand fold of them that have least are anethma to me. To those who keep the equality of all have my favor.

Visit lemmy.zip and give it a try.

"Behind you!"

Stop using AI and go back to thinking for yourself.

Have you seen my drink?

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

"We're no strangers to love..."

"I will reappear in one year's time." With the subsequent breaths saying the same phrase in the next four spoken world languages, then use the last breath to say it in R'lyehian.

“Alright, we can kill it. Do we want to roll back the save or start over?”

"'We apologize for the inconvenience.”

(stolen from Douglas Adams)

omelette du fromage

“Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.”

“Don’t”

WARNING: INCOMING GAME

the world will end in .. days

just make it sound like the audio cut out for the number of days

THE ONE PIECE! THE ONE PIECE IS REAL!"

ROMANES ITE DOMUM!

Hang on, what year is it now?

Pull my finger.

From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe

We tender this premium beer

For your enjoyment

As a tribute to your good taste.

It comes from the mountain springs to you

33

ASK ME ABOUT MY WEINERS!

Choose again.

On a very full breath, I can do the "badger badger badger badger bager badger badger badger mushroom mushroom" like barely 3 times. So I would get that out like 18 times. My hope would be to cause a worlwide earworm with that terrible song.

It's either I do that, or cause a worldwide rickroll without the backing track. See how far I can go.

Did you hear about updoc?

Please repeat after me. I am one person, on a planet of many be kind

Qǐng gēn wǒ chóngfù yībiàn: Wǒ shì zhè kē xīngqiú shàng zhòngduō shēngmìng zhòng de yī yuán, yào xīnhuái shànyì.

Por favor, repite después de mí: Soy uno entre muchos en este planeta; sé amable

I think that would cover enough people saying it out loud that it would be taken as less of a mass hallucination.

English, Chinese and Spanish would cover much of the world. Spanish is similar enough to French to get the word across. Hindi would be a close runner up but many in India speak English enough that the word would get out.

Butts

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty

I would be humming John Lennon's imagine and hope people would recognize it at some point and look up the lyrics in their native language.

I would just filibuster by reading off as many random Wikipedia articles about random chemicals as I can

It is not the tool that matters, it's how it's used and by who. The technological progress is inevitable, if you want to do good help guide it into the right hands in the right way. Go into making regulations instead of tech development.

“Be well. Things are tough, you have as much a reason to be tired and frustrated as everyone, and should let the storms and knots and voids within go, lest they consume you too. When you have more strength and are rested, admire the beauty of this world. Do the things you wanted to do, things you wanted to try, places you wanted to visit. Be friendly and honest and compassionate even if others aren’t with you. Light births more light. Share yours. And remember to rest again, when you start feeling tired. Love and care for those around you. Tell them you care. It’s not always obvious. Dare. Be you. Show your light, and let your shadows show too to let them go. Be well. I will try my best to do the same, so let’s do it together.”

Hey sup God here. Everyone on earth can hear me btw. Organized religion is a farce built by rich people to get you all to hate and fight each other. Also capitalism is false religion. Can you guys start building communism please?

No matter what I said it wouldn't stop people rationalizing that I actually double super secret meant that its OK to genocide and starve children within (most likely) a few years, so id probably just have fun with it and sing the opening to "backstreet back", including the bass line in accoplelo.

Today is the 99th anniversary of the deaths of Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti.

I'm not sure I could get it out in 6 breaths but I'd try to read a great little piece:

"The Pale Blue Dot of Earth.

Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

— Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

If you want to hear this moving quote in Carl Sagan's own voice (I recommend it):

Pale Blue Dot

Go back, we screwed everything.

Violence is not the answer. Start loving your differences, start working together so solve your problems. Send anybody advocating violence to the frontline of any battle including leaders and politicians.

"The cake is a lie."

weyebrow veminutes agory

God here, only one of your believe systems is correctly worshipoing me. The ones in question know who I'm talking about. Make sure everybody start doing it the correct way. Btw. don't tell anyone but you are doing it right, keep up the good work.

FUCK YOU ALL