A four inch hole has a surface area of 12.57 square inches and one seven inches across has a surface area of 38.48 square inches and this means three of them can pass through your ass at the same time without risking damage to your sphincter.
They also forget to take into account not every raccoon gets along with every other raccoon. Ever had two raccoons fighting each other whole stuck side by side in your anus?! Not a great time
If rent is your objective, I'm afraid you'll have to find a raccoon-sized HUMAN who earns a living wage, and shove HIM up yer arse, because raccoons aren't biologically subject to capitalist slavery, therefore they'd have no money to give you.
This is actually a legitimate anatomy question, so here's the straightforward answer.
The anal canal is quite elastic thanks to its muscular sphincters and surrounding tissue. In terms of practical limits:
Resting vs. maximum opening. At rest, the anus is essentially closed. The two sphincters (internal and external) can voluntarily and involuntarily relax, and the tissue can dilate considerably. During normal defecation, the diameter passing comfortably is typically around 2–3 cm. With gradual, deliberate stretching and lubrication, significantly larger diameters are possible without injury — which is why certain medical procedures work the way they do.
Medical context gives us good benchmarks. Anal exams routinely accommodate an adult finger (~2 cm), and colonoscopes are roughly 1.3 cm in diameter. In surgical and emergency settings, the anus can dilate to accept much larger objects — which is also why accidental foreign-body retention happens, something ER departments deal with regularly.
Practical and safety considerations:
The internal sphincter is not under voluntary control; forcing things past resistance before it relaxes is what causes tears (fissures), which are painful and slow to heal
Gradual, patient dilation with lubrication lets the muscles relax naturally
Anything rigid or sharp poses real perforation risk to the rectum, which has thin walls and a curved anatomy
Over-aggressive stretching can, in extreme cases, contribute to sphincter weakness or incontinence over time
The rectum itself is angled and connected to the sigmoid colon, so "how far" lengthwise is limited by that curve — objects pushed past it tend to lodge or cause damage, which is why ER retrieval is sometimes needed.
If you have a specific context in mind (medical, curiosity, or practical safety), I can go into more detail on that angle.
Lol, "in surgical emergency settings"... and your mom's bedroom. Well, lots of places really. Humans have anal Sex in a lot of settings.
So, like, posting an AI answer that clearly ignores part of the relevant real life data seems even worse to me than posting one that is nominally correct. Did you even read this yourself?
87 Comments
arotrios@lemmy.world · 142 pts · 2d
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2d
"I'm in."
msage@programming.dev · 4 pts · 1d
It has just the most adorable face
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 63 pts · 2d
A four inch hole has a surface area of 12.57 square inches and one seven inches across has a surface area of 38.48 square inches and this means three of them can pass through your ass at the same time without risking damage to your sphincter.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2d
#theyDidTheMath
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2d
They did more than math
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 2d
They did the monster math!
The monster math
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 2d
It was the salesman's path!
The monster math
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2d
It was a raccoon bash
bytejunk@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1d
Which probably cause a serious rash
ElChinchilla@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
Ass rabies
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2d
Too much time determining if you could. Not enough time asking if you should.
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 1d
Came here for the math.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Yeah but I'm sure prep time and speed is a factor.
If a raccoon just suddenly sprinted out your asshole without warning it's definitely gonna cause some damage
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 1 pts · 1d
I’m sure three or four raccoons could sprint out of my ass no problem but it’s not exactly a normal one.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 2d
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
Almost two racoons so far
cattywampas@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 2d
That's gotta be circumference cause ain't no way that diameter is correct.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2d
Can't be. That'd be a diameter of only 2.228 inches. That's half a raccoon. Way too small.
floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 2d
Cherish your innocent eyes, the internet can be a nasty place.
Cypher@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 2d
A bad dragon says you’re wrong!
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2d
<goatse.jpg>
farting_gorilla@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
<mrhands.gif>
fartographer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Oh no, none for me, thanks
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2d
This is where people get into trouble. They round up. They get sloppy.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2d
They also forget to take into account not every raccoon gets along with every other raccoon. Ever had two raccoons fighting each other whole stuck side by side in your anus?! Not a great time
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2d
Don't define what is or isn't a great time for me thank you
Leather@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1d
No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...
The untrained human ass can stretch that far without damage, but with a little practice?
ms_lane@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1d
JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d
Didn't he get silver?
Leather@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Exactly! How much further could he have gone if he trained his asshole before hand?
0x0@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d
Raccoons with boxing gloves.
DrBob@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 2d
itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2d
What you're telling me is I can comfortably house a raccoon up my ass. Why wouldn't I? In this housing market? I could be charging rent!
Tiral@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 2d
They can go steal shit after dark and give you some spoils.
CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 2d
If rent is your objective, I'm afraid you'll have to find a raccoon-sized HUMAN who earns a living wage, and shove HIM up yer arse, because raccoons aren't biologically subject to capitalist slavery, therefore they'd have no money to give you.
beejboytyson@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2d
I guarantee that you can sell that hole.
0x0@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1d
No raccoons required.
lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 1d
Anything but the metric system.
ILikeStupidMemes@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 1d
Sly cooper in my pooper
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d
How many badgers is that? Asking for a friend.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 9 pts · 2d
I have to know what they define as "taking damage" because there's possibility for tearing even with a fraction of that size.
gastroglizzy@piefed.social · 8 pts · 2d
Small numbers begin appearing out of thin air. A red bar drains slowly.
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2d
#anythingbutmetric
_stranger_@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2d
racooneter?
metercoon?
I don't feel comfortable using either of those words.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2d
The key to doing this is to put the raccoons in serially. You just can't put them in at the same time.
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2d
*without training
TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2d
Almost as unsettling as having 37 open tabs. Like, I've been there before, and it's never turned out well 😆
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1d
My tabs counter usually just makes this face :o
Edit : went to check. Ive got exactly 37 atm. Had to do a little research to make sure OP isnt me on carbon monoxide
0x0@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 1d
Mine's constantly showing ∞.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 1d
My tab counter addon has no issues displaying numbers like 194
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 1d
You mean 438 open tabs?
iusemybrain@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1d
with the power of god and anime on my side I could easily fit three racoon's up my ass.
0x0@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 1d
I knew there was a reason 26.04 is called Rancid Racoon.
Usernamealreadyinuse@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2d
17.8cm...
GrantUsEyes@piefed.zip · 5 pts · 2d
"There was talk of gerbils,"
Iykyk
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 2d
A-COCKAROOOOO!
BigBoyShuanzee@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 1d
Ohh that's why. I had three raccoons and a lot of time on my plate..
Please don't ask me any follow up questions.
ceenote@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2d
37 tabs? They must have researched this thoroughly.
killea@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d
On the way through the parking lot?
phar@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d
Hey! Get back here!
Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
How the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?
Ghosts_Are_Real@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 2d
Is this with our without lube?
myyass@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Perfect post for my user name.
JohnWorks@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2d
Thanks Gork
NorthWestWind@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 2d
HOW MANY P I C K L E S
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2d
Gherkins, or dill.
Don't get me started on coconuts.
rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d
Unrelated question. Can you fit two racoons into a mason jar?
q@piefed.social · 3 pts · 2d
Do I have to put them in like batteries with one head first and one tail first. Then realize it doesn’t work and take them out and reverse it?
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 2d
What kind of sick fuck would put them in arse to head
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
I always thought you can stretch to 12 inches, and the raccoon can squees into 6?
Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 1d
This reminds me of that torture method from the olden days. Hungry rat in a bowl on a person's skin/abdomen. It's going to dig into the person.
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Xatolos@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 2d
Goatse
rumba@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 1d
Almost is the operative word
DrStanleyGoodspeed@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 1d
This is why I’m here
tigermountain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
Now I won't be so worried.
undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch · 1 pts · 2d
What in the Element Inspector is going on here?
phar@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2d
This is actually a legitimate anatomy question, so here's the straightforward answer.
The anal canal is quite elastic thanks to its muscular sphincters and surrounding tissue. In terms of practical limits:
Resting vs. maximum opening. At rest, the anus is essentially closed. The two sphincters (internal and external) can voluntarily and involuntarily relax, and the tissue can dilate considerably. During normal defecation, the diameter passing comfortably is typically around 2–3 cm. With gradual, deliberate stretching and lubrication, significantly larger diameters are possible without injury — which is why certain medical procedures work the way they do.
Medical context gives us good benchmarks. Anal exams routinely accommodate an adult finger (~2 cm), and colonoscopes are roughly 1.3 cm in diameter. In surgical and emergency settings, the anus can dilate to accept much larger objects — which is also why accidental foreign-body retention happens, something ER departments deal with regularly.
Practical and safety considerations:
The rectum itself is angled and connected to the sigmoid colon, so "how far" lengthwise is limited by that curve — objects pushed past it tend to lodge or cause damage, which is why ER retrieval is sometimes needed.
If you have a specific context in mind (medical, curiosity, or practical safety), I can go into more detail on that angle.
*From Lumo
theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 2d
Why are you just posting AI generated output
phar@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
To see what it might actually say about anal stretching and posting it so anyone who was curious doesn't have to go do it themselves? For science
VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1d
Lol, "in surgical emergency settings"... and your mom's bedroom. Well, lots of places really. Humans have anal Sex in a lot of settings.
So, like, posting an AI answer that clearly ignores part of the relevant real life data seems even worse to me than posting one that is nominally correct. Did you even read this yourself?
phar@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
I can't tell if you're trying to goad me or if you're an actual idiot. I guess either way kudos for the shitposting
VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 1d
I was just a bit aghast at someone pasting a clearly reductive answer anyone could generate, should they want it.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 2d
This one rectums.
sartalon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d
I hardly know 'em!
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 2d
Why, thank you for the raccoon stuffing safety tips!
Off I go to find a raccoon.