whats the cheapest legal way to dispose of my dead body so i can stick it to the funeral industry?

My son is in his water bottle. Never bought an urn from the crematorium.

Direct cremation is the absolute chespest way to handle it. They'll try to sell you a fancy urn, and may even say it's illegal to use another type of container, but you could literally do what they did in The Big Lebowski and use a coffee can if you wanted. The guy who invented Pringles had his ashes put into a Pringles can. The ashes themselves come in a sealed plastic bag, anyway.

My mom's are just in a wooden box I made for her when I was in highschool woodshop.

Pay a local taxidermist to stuff you so your kid/friend/partner can have you hang out in their living room. I told my mom I'm gonna have her stuffed and posed like a bear.

Thinking about this now it makes sense why my mom picked my sister as the executor.

A big part of your question hinges upon where you call home. Some countries have strickt restrictions.

I want my body dumped on the front steps of my least favorite living politician.

When they return my body to my next of kin they will dump it back on the politicians' doorstep

Regardless of the final resting place after the funeral - DON'T EMBALM. They'll pressure your family into embalming to 'ensure the dead look their best on the day of the funeral', but refrigeration does the exact same thing. You might think it's more 'dignified', but just do a quick google at what the process entails. It's ALL smoke and mirrors, and I'd rather have people at my funeral actually understand what my body is doing at that point - not the image of what a 'body at rest' looks like from Hollywood.

i will donate my body to a necrophilia foundation

My family has some experience with this

My mom's cousin was a wonderful person, her husband, however, was an enormous piece of shit in just about every way you could imagine.

She got sick and died, he never had a funeral for her.

Then he up and died maybe a year or so later.

My mom was still listed as the executrix of their wills, so it fell on her to decide what to do with him.

And she decided on nothing. Let the coroner haul his body away and never claimed it.

After a while they cremate the remains, they hold onto them for a while to see if any other next of kin wants to claim them, then after a while they bury or scatter them somewhere if no one does.

I'm sure the exact specifics of how that all works varies a bit from place to place, but in general that's gonna be an option. They can't exactly force you to pay for a funeral you don't want, and the local government has some plan on dealing with bodies no one wants to pony up for a funeral for (otherwise there'd be a lot of corpses of homeless people and such piling up in a freezer somewhere)

My body is going to a medical school, to be used for student dissection. Once they are finished with it, it will be cremated. My relatives can have the ashes if they want, otherwise it will be disposed of. My name will go up on a plaque in a special memorial garden. It was pretty easy to organise, just a matter of signing consent forms with a witness. Family are ok with it.

There's a chance my body will be rejected - infectious, too mangled, whatever - and in that case it's bounced back to family to deal with. I favour forest burial wrapped in an old bedsheet.

Don't die. That'll teach them.

2 things that piss off the funeral industry

1. Aquamation/water cremation/alkaline hydrolysis
2. Human composting

Both are legal in my state. You should join the fight if they aren't legal where you are.

Both are cheaper than burial. With aquamation you get back a bag of cremains just like with cremation. The only difference is instead of fire they boil you in an alkaline solution.

With composting it turns people into literal soil. You can take that back or donate it to a charity that is repairing a forest.

I second the Lemmy user who suggested Caitlin Doughty and the Order of the Good Death.

Edit: spelling

You can shop around for crematoriums near you. Most of them in the US pick up the body as part of their fee. $300-800 to cremate a body. They mail you the ashes in a plastic bag. Some will offer urns, but that's an extra charge you can skip. Most states don't consider burying ashes the same as burying a body. Different laws. You can prepay, and have a card in your wallet with the company's info on it in case someone stumbles upon your body.

My wife and I have spoken about what we want done. My plan for her is to cremate her, then go to a local nursery and find a nice hearty, long living, low-maintenance flowering tree she would have liked and plant her and the tree in my back yard.

If you really want to stick it to the funeral industry, and you're including crematoriums and all other aspects in that, I think the only option is burial at sea.

Put it in your will that you want your friends and family to go on a deep-sea fishing cruise. Specify they must bring you along, and once they reach the approved and legal dumping location and have you naked and weighted so you sink, they can raise their glasses, make a toast, and pitch you over the side.

Meant to include this link:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burial_at_sea

The cheapest method is to abandon the body. People die without family all the time and the State has a method to dispose of unclaimed corpses. Cost $0

Left in the woods for dog walkers to find.

There are burial grounds that are basically natural parks, where you have to be buried in something biodegradable, like a shroud or pine needle basket, and no grave markers are allowed besides something like a tree or uncut rock. (Burial locations are recorded by gps.) I'd like to be buried in one of these places. Not sure what the cost is, though.

Donation to a hydraulic press and/or hispeed cam YouTube channel

Where I live the cheapest is to donate your body to science but it depends entirely on if the local university needs bodies or has storage capacity at the moment of death.

https://www.greenmatters.com/p/eco-friendly-burial-methods

https://www.cremation.green/green-burial-options/

https://canadianfunerals.com/guide-to-green-burial-in-canada/

https://environment.co/eco-friendly-funeral-options/

Should get you started.

Donate your body for medical students to dissect

I agree with this sentiment. It's insane to me that people need to cough up thousands of dollars to see their loved one off. It's so wrong, although I do accept that funeral providers can't simply give away their services for free. I would support a taxation that had a provision for funerary needs for all citizens. Universal death care. I mean, we're all gonna die. It's not like you can say "oh boo hoo I'm paying all this tax just for some other cunt to die on my dime??" because your day will come soon enough and you don't want your family having to blow their savings on putting you in a hole.

I wanna be harvested for organs like a Chinese dissident, and whatever is left can be mulched and used to grow trees or something.

But if we're talking "cheapest", in the UK and Ireland there's a pauper's grave thing where the state will put you in a very basic grave and with a very basic marker. Not sure if you need to be poor to qualify, or if they'll just do it when asked.

Become entirely homeless and cut off all contacts and remove all identification so no one will be around to care when you die.

Water cremation can be pretty cheap IF it's legal where you are

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_cremation

Do you have access to a woodchipper?

Live with cats. They will take care of it.

I'm getting planted as a tree

I don't know the cost but I kind of want to be composted. That's a thing.

I think the cheapest way here (the Netherlands) is around €750-900 and you are burned in a (fairly strong) paper bag or cardboard coffin I think.

But to be fair I don't care, i'm dead anyway, I don't have insurance for it, and if there is anyone left around me by then they can do whatever they want or not do anything. I don't have kids so they can't stick the bill to anyone.

In Illinois you can get buried on your own property, I told my kids to claim my skull for the mantle and compost the rest.

Science Vs. did a great episode on Human Composting a few years back. It's really touching and highlights a fantastic way to convert your death into life.

Here is a link to the episode. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6reXXkhnvGxpSvnCz8wP2c

Get eaten by a shark

When I die just throw me in the trash

To praphrase Diogenes and Frank: Just throw me in the trash!

Do a viking funeral. You know, that ceremony where you are sent out in a boat and a fire arrow is fired into the boat so it burns down while floating into the sunset.

But skip the boat. Have someone chuck you into the ocean and shoot arrows at you until you sink.

Donate to science?

Thank you so much for the info! I want to donate my body so I can be useful and help folks a final time. I have been getting awesome tattoos so my corpse looks dope as fuck

Native American pyre

You ever see those old videos and photos of the monks protesting the Vietnam war…or you could do a sky funeral.

Check out https://funerals.org/about/

Have nothing of value left when you die and make sure your relatives refuse ownership of anything. Leave it as a problem for the state to deal with.

Check Caitlin Doughty's "Ask A Mortician" videos, in addition to some of the other suggestions.

Donate everything still working and the rest goes to a medical school for practice.

Who pays if you get so irradiated that you need to be buried in a lead casket, like the firefighters at Chernobyl?

No lie, i want a sky burial. Your body is split open and left on a mountainside populated by vultures, after a few days the villagers return and collect your bones, the only thing left. They grind your bones and mix them into crackers, which are then spread around the fields for birds to eat. Your entire body goes back to the birds, i love it. My wife isn’t taking it seriously but I mean it, i want one of those

I think you can just not claim the body and the government will bury it in a pauper's grave or something, but there might be some downsides to rejecting the body entirely.

have your homies smoke your ashes in a blunt

There's a book called "Stiff" by Mary Roach where she looks into all the various ways to (legally) dispose of your body.

You can donate it to scientific research (my personal preference) and they will use it as a very accurate crash test dummy (usually).

Things like the glass in car windows and car crumple zones were invented with the help of such donations, and she claims that on average 14 lives are saved by every body donated.

I didn't realize that there were any illegal ways to dispose of a body, as long as it's in their will and sanitary

Sky burial.