We never cared what other people thought, it gave our kid the chance to be running around in places where they'd have to be carried otherwise. Going through an airport alone with the kiddo becomes much easier, especially when all that want to do is to be running. Kid doesn't care and gets to run, it's an easy win.
Being on a kid leash saved my life. I don't remember this first hand, but my parents often tell about the time they took me to a ball game or something and I fell through the bleachers which was over 30 feet high. The leash prevented me from splattering on the ground.
I had one who would strip and run. I wrote my cell number across the back of their shoulders with Sharpie when we were on vacation and letting them play in the park.
Oh yes, a brief phase for mine at least. Soon after she learned to walk, which in her case was walking and running all in one day. An over-exuberance of that new freedom and power. Feeling the rush of air on her wings, as it were. She would usually leave her diaper on, unless it was moist and heavy enough to slow her down. Of course the phase coincided with our being on a pre-planned trip, constantly in public situations where I didn't know the territory. At least we spoke the language!
I've only got one, but he has successfully made it to his teenage years because he was a leashed toddler. The amount of times I caught him when his face was two inches from concrete I can only count on one hand, but that's enough.
I think this is one of the most overlooked benefits of harnesses. Just being able to save them from a faceplant when they're still really practicing being upright is a huge relief, and gives them more confidence too, because they know you'll be there to catch them if they fall.
No, that's what child muzzles are for. They only says that they were leashed, NOT that they were muzzled.
You probably think you're just telling a joke but you are not funny. Children ARE capable of biting, and sometimes they DO. Don't fuck around with human bites.
My parents only used it on one occasion: A camping trip. They tell me they felt bad and never used it again. But the fact remains. I was on a leash once and now I'm a furry. We have correlation.
Causation is yet to be proven, but my hypothesis is that leashes and furry community participation are both potential results of some set of underlying personality traits that may or may not manifest both or either of these outcomes. Comorbidities that happen to align.
I am asexual and do not enjoy sexual contact in general.
The only animals i have had any experience with are homo sapiens, and based on that experience I have concluded it is not for me. It turns out actual biological bodies are icky. I would rather not have one, let alone have to interact with someone else's.
My "fursona" is a synthetic construct that used to be a bipedal canine with wings. Keeping those features from the character's distant fully biological past was merely aesthetic preference. I've felt very comfortable leaning into an "it/thing" identity.
I'll often look down on a kid themselves, but only because it is impossible to regard a being who is less tall than me without looking down u.u
::: spoiler [explaining the joke]
Subverting expectation of disrespect by indicating purely physical and logistical reasons which contain no value judgement of another person and therefore no commentary upon the concept of respect
:::
When you're walking in a public place overrun with people, no separation between road and sidewalk, multiple other hazards and a toddler who only moves by running full speed, I do not see a problem with putting a harness and lead on the kid. Parents try their best to pay attention at all times, but when you're this tired, it's good to have the insurance. If you want to judge someone's parenting, judge the ones who ignore their kids so they can spend more time on their phones
Same here. There was well-intentioned (though silly) joke. However, right after I explained why I was using the leash, they were very understanding. Also met random people in Manila who praised me for it and said that it really needs to be more common (if there is a city where you need it, it's Manila)
Well, are we still talking about actual parents, or are we talking about a 'Mommy" or "Daddy", because depending on the situation, I can totally support chokers.
When my son was a toddler, I had an older aunt who had no children, but plenty of opinions on how they should be raised. We were visiting one time, and planned a visit to the zoo, and she just insisted that we had to get a leash for him, or he was so going to get away from us, and end up in an animal pen, and get eaten, presumably.
I refused her many orders to get a leash (I didn't even know where to find one, this was before Amazon), and finally just flat out told her that there would be no leash, we would just have to do our jobs as parents and adults, and actually pay attention to him.
And he only got into animal
pens a few times. He hardly got gnawed on at all. He was fine.
I once saw a Mom at an information desk at an art museum take her fussy, fidgeting toddler, gently lay him down on the ground, and put her foot on him, Captain Morgan style:
Kid didn't cry or try to escape. Thoroughly impressive. Might plant the seed to awaken something in the kid when he hits puberty, though.
I know a person whose kid has ADHD and was constantly running carelessly into random directions, failing to immediately react to their mother shouting them to stop. There was so much spontaneous and uncontrolled running here and there that the only option seemed to be to constantly hold their hand.
Eventually the kid's mother came to the conclusion that the kid will have more freedom if she's kept on a leash instead of having to hold hands. The time they had to use the leash didn't end up being many months, either. In the case of that family it was definitely a choice that increased the psychological well-being of the child and supported their development of motor skills.
You can never know what the reasons are, so go careful with judging!
Yeah, exactly this. Some kids are just different and it really isn't a fault in the parenting that the child is likely to put themselves in a dangerous situation.
Caring for a kid like that is plenty exhausting enough without the snide remarks of fully grown adults that like to entertain themselves at the child's expense. The kid I cared for didn't have a harness but in retrospect that would have been pretty damn handy.
Interestingly, children are way more understanding than most adults.
Leashing kids I'm betting 8 times out of 10 is uncalled for and controlling and stupid.
But you don't know circumstances, and let me tell you, I've met some kids. Sometimes it is appropriate, so I try not to judge.
Even if it is 2 out of 10 that it's appropriate for, those people are going through enough shit without me side-eyeing them. Probably ain't my business.
Oh so it's okay when the KIDS are on a leash, but when I'm wearing one, I'm a "freak" and I'm "being asked to leave the costco". Damn double standards.... I could run into traffic TOO you know!
Well, you're supposed to be wearing more than just the leash. Rookie mistake
And yeah, honestly I'm pretty sure my wife wishes she could get away with keeping me leashed in public. I get distracted and she worries I'll walk into traffic
Gotta say, I'm appreciating the comments on this post a lot more this time around - last time this was posted there was a lot of anti-leashing sentiment.
I'm just trying to figure out - did the people on Lemmy change? Is it the time of day? Pretty sure it's the same community as before!
I'm interested in the previous one because I feel like I'm detecting some defensiveness stemming from that!
Me and my sister were on leashes as kids. Also we had a bouncer that you hung in a doorframe and I described this at preschool as "we hang our baby from the ceiling" 😅
Looks goofy. Keeps people safe. I'd call that a fair trade - it's a tale as old as PPE.
If we're going to criticize peoples' parenting, I'd turn your sights to the dipshits who are sacrificing their children to antivaxxism (which simultaneously sacrifices YOUR children to antivaxxism if the viral mutations they're breeding up manage to null the efficacy of vaccines in the already-immunized).
I'm in the same group. My kid is pretty young (just turning into a toddler) but I could see possibly needing to leash his ass in the future. I also would laugh my ass off if someone asked me in public if he was a stray or made some other joke about it.
Can't take life too seriously but I get people might feel like the joke is insensitive. I suppose I also have a horrible sense of humor and what I find funny might be actually offensive to others at times so ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Just to be clear, this is a pro leash comment.
My kids are very well behaved, not just compared to other ADHD, but to any other kid. However, let them pass the ADHD tipping point where they are too tired, excessively stimulated, over sugared, or god forbid, all 3 at the same time, and they will do the most insane shit just because 2 neurons accidentally bumped together and gave them some stray thought.
You know where those 3 things coincide? At the airport. Among crowds of thousands. Where you can actually lose a kid. I leashed my toddlers at the airport. This also lets you deal with gate attendants and baggage check in. Outside the airport I would tell them to hold my leg while I dealt with counter staff. That way I knew they were with me but had both hands free to deal with paperwork.
I always struggle with this idea that it's ADHD, but maybe there's more than just the ADHD going on.
I have severe ADHD, combined type (inattentive + 'hyperactive'), but running around the airport or mall away from parents was never an issue. The worst I did was climb into clothing racks at Stein Mart because I was bored out of my skull when my mom shopped there.
The main thing I think is I also got taught to let her or my dad know if I wanted to go look at a thing, so they knew where I was if they couldn't come with, and to let them know again if I wanted to look at another thing.
I don't know if there's something specific I was taught or guided on that caused neither me nor my sister to need that kind of supervision, or if there's a different neurological condition that leads to the bolting, but it ain't ADHD on its own, even severe.
Straight up, toddlers just bolt it's in their hardware. Half your job is keeping them in sight and reach of a panic sprint.
I'm a mom with adhd but I didn't know it then, I just knew I had to keep them front and center of my attention or in this case literally attached to me due to the environmental distractions for all of us. Everything else can fail but one must not fail to keep track of the bebe. Oops the car got repoed, the gas is getting turned off, oops I have nothing to wear to the wedding. Fine. I still got this funny little lemming safe and sound.
Hang on I'm going to go hug the grumpy ferret it grew into.
Ok I was of this opinion until I had an autistic son. He's crafty, fast and enjoys doing whatever he is told not to do. He's almost run into traffic several times. We caught him, but barely, enough to make me reconsider this idea. I haven't bought him one, but I understand.
Even without any particular care needs or neuro-differences, a lot of kids can sometimes be a danger to themselves when out in public. Our public spaces are not designed to mitigate this, and it tends to happen at a stage when their ability to understand and obey verbal instructions is low (or at least slow), and physically controlling them is extremely unergonomic for the adult (too heavy to constantly pick up, too short to constantly hold their hands).
Tell me you've never been a parent without using the words.
One of my kids was a runner and could yank their elbow or shoulder out of place of you tried to hold on to them by their hand. A harness and leash made life bearable for all of us for that time period.
We used a leash on our youngest for a few years in crowds. Never will be sorry for it. It gave him the sense of autonomy while keeping him directed, where holding his hand would quickly lead to problems. This was before the better understanding of ADHD, we were told by older adults (who were always critical of how we parented) that he'd "grow out of it". It gave us all peace and kept him safe.
A while back I was driving on a gravel road just outside town and came across a lady going for a walk with a kid and a large dog. The kid was on a leash, the dog was running free.
When I visited a friend in the states back in 2019, I saw a small Russian family who kept their kid on a leash when we visited the aquarium. Initially I was amused, but once that died off I just found it clever. I, a grown ass-man managed to lose my friends in the crowd a few times, that family never lost their kid.
I'll never have kids, but if I did, I'd be leashing it in that kind of situation too.
I only didn't use a leash because the one time I did the kid spun around and tried to strangle themselves on it. Not from being upset, just everyday normal accidentally-suicidal toddler behavior. Had I been that mom I'd have laughed. Hysterically, with an edge veering into insanity, because that's what it's like sometimes, with the infant and toddler tagteaming to keep you up all night and stressed all day. But a good joke is a good joke.
They were popular there for a while. My theory is that we drastically changed raising standards too quickly; we went from spare the rod, spoil the child to don't beat your kids in one generation. Instead of parents learning how to discipline properly instead of using fear as a motivator, many just let the kids free range. When the kids completely lacked any discipline, they decided the backpack leash was the right answer.
We had a couple of years of super-nanny, people learned how to do a timeouts and actually talk to / reason with their kids.
Maybe, but what shocks me is how much quicker children seem to mature outside the US, like 6 year olds walking across town to get to school in Japan, its gotta be more than "how much do physically vs psychologically beat the kid", and it doesn't seem to be "just give the kid more responsibility" since I had an actual conversation with a 6 year old on a train ride in China, he was way more advanced than my 9 year old nephew, and the chinese kid was a private school, only child, so I can't imagine he had much responsibility.
I think it has something to do with the type of enrichment a kid experiences, like being strapped to a carseat playing a "tap button on iPad, get reward" game is probably as bad for a kid's development as locking them in a plain white room.
I think it's at least in part because they're allowed to mature. It's a whole thing letting your kid go to a nearby store alone for the first time in Japan. In parts of America, you will be arrested for "neglecting your child" now if they do that. (That's not hyperbole)
To be honest, my wife used to walk miles in Hartford, Connecticut to go to school.
I don't think it's a maturity thing. It's literally not safe to let our kids travel by themselves. Look at them hiding the epstein stuff to keep businessmen safe. Everyone here is armed, people shoot kids who knock on their doors not infrequently.
Sure, to a certain extent the statistical odds of it happening are low, but they're 0 in most other places in the world.
I suspect the US is still safer, I haven't seen one yet but surely the 12 year olds I see across SEA riding electrics or 125ccs with 4 friends or younger siblings on the bike get in accidents more often than kids get shot in the US.
I swear to God this is terrifying to me. No wonder the US is a creepy place. And you've got people all over this thread defending it cause their parents did it to them. "They were right to leash me I was a runner" Jesus fucking Christ it's a carbon copy of every thread on corporal punishment ever.
Less car-centric infrastructure. Also for whatever reason a lot of Americans are dumb AF and I'd assume that also affects children in a similar manner. So maybe our children aren't as suicidal.
I believe that as long as the best behaved dog is required to be leashed in public, children under 5 should be required to be leashed as well, until the worst behaved toddler is demonstrably better behaved than the best behaved dog.
Leashing a kid doesn't hurt them, and people who have a problem with it are generally real assholes..
Jokes at the expense of neurodivergent/disabled kids are hilarious!!! Hundreds of upvotes for you!!! Ruining that already struggling parents day gets all the internet points!!!
Elopement. Look it up you fuckwits.
This place was supposed to be better than Reddit, but this is Truth Social level posting.
Yeah, I hate people that make these kind of jokes.
A little boy in my son’s class was nonverbal autistic and an eloper. He ended up sneaking out, getting into the unlocked apartment pool, and drowning a few days after school ended this summer.
I feel so bad for his parents. They were always so exhausted trying to keep him safe because he was a little Houdini.
133 Comments
Skyrmir@lemmy.world · 207 pts · 1d
Toddlers can cover the distance from the sidewalk to under a car tire faster than you can blink. Ill never judge a parent for having them on a leash.
The muzzle is a bit much though.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 1d
The little bag dispenser hanging off the handle is great if they're not potty trained yet too.
BooBees@fedinsfw.app · 17 pts · 1d
I’m not a fan of Lowe’s policy letting them in though
DokPsy@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 1d
For some children, they can teleport non edible items into their mouths. The muzzle is necessary
zqwzzle@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 1d
Are the lambs still screaming Clarice?
Wrufieotnak@feddit.org · 11 pts · 1d
The muzzle isnt for the kids benefit, its for the rest of us!
Rooster326@programming.dev · 4 pts · 16h
And yet they'll still complain. Bunch of ungrateful....
ImminentOrbit@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 15h
We never cared what other people thought, it gave our kid the chance to be running around in places where they'd have to be carried otherwise. Going through an airport alone with the kiddo becomes much easier, especially when all that want to do is to be running. Kid doesn't care and gets to run, it's an easy win.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 114 pts · 1d
Being on a kid leash saved my life. I don't remember this first hand, but my parents often tell about the time they took me to a ball game or something and I fell through the bleachers which was over 30 feet high. The leash prevented me from splattering on the ground.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 70 pts · 1d
My kids were leashed in public spaces because we knew they’d run off and they’re too young to give helpful information to find us.
Security guards thanked us because dealing with scared kids was one of the worst part of their jobs.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 1d
I had one who would strip and run. I wrote my cell number across the back of their shoulders with Sharpie when we were on vacation and letting them play in the park.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1d
Mine never did that but we knew kids who did.
Good job working the problem.
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it · 9 pts · 21h
I did not knew what was the name of a sharpie in english until now and i got concerned until i searched (sharpie)
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 16h
Ooh sorry! Not sharp, just a permanent marker with a blunt but narrow tip.
msage@programming.dev · 7 pts · 21h
Is that real? Someone tried to tell me their kids do that and I had hard time believing that.
Is it a phase during development for some or what?
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 16h
Oh yes, a brief phase for mine at least. Soon after she learned to walk, which in her case was walking and running all in one day. An over-exuberance of that new freedom and power. Feeling the rush of air on her wings, as it were. She would usually leave her diaper on, unless it was moist and heavy enough to slow her down. Of course the phase coincided with our being on a pre-planned trip, constantly in public situations where I didn't know the territory. At least we spoke the language!
fartographer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 9h
There's even an episode of Rugrats about that! Not sure how credible a source that is, though...
SmokedBillionaire@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 1d
I've only got one, but he has successfully made it to his teenage years because he was a leashed toddler. The amount of times I caught him when his face was two inches from concrete I can only count on one hand, but that's enough.
notabot@piefed.social · 4 pts · 21h
I think this is one of the most overlooked benefits of harnesses. Just being able to save them from a faceplant when they're still really practicing being upright is a huge relief, and gives them more confidence too, because they know you'll be there to catch them if they fall.
FluidBeef@quokk.au · 33 pts · 1d
Do you still bite?
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 1d
No, that's what child muzzles are for. They only says that they were leashed, NOT that they were muzzled.
You probably think you're just telling a joke but you are not funny. Children ARE capable of biting, and sometimes they DO. Don't fuck around with human bites.
pigup@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1d
We're 1 for 1 for leash kids turning into furries
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 20 pts · 1d
... Oh.
...
I was a leash kid too ._.
My parents only used it on one occasion: A camping trip. They tell me they felt bad and never used it again. But the fact remains. I was on a leash once and now I'm a furry. We have correlation.
Causation is yet to be proven, but my hypothesis is that leashes and furry community participation are both potential results of some set of underlying personality traits that may or may not manifest both or either of these outcomes. Comorbidities that happen to align.
bedwyr@piefed.ca · 5 pts · 1d
Can I ask, what animals do you like to dress as, and bang, as a furry? Just out of curiosity if you don't mind sharing.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1d
Humans but my costume isn't very convincing.
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1d
You've been added to the Best of Lemmy: https://sh.itjust.works/post/65805382
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 16h
I am asexual and do not enjoy sexual contact in general.
The only animals i have had any experience with are homo sapiens, and based on that experience I have concluded it is not for me. It turns out actual biological bodies are icky. I would rather not have one, let alone have to interact with someone else's.
My "fursona" is a synthetic construct that used to be a bipedal canine with wings. Keeping those features from the character's distant fully biological past was merely aesthetic preference. I've felt very comfortable leaning into an "it/thing" identity.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1d
They leashed you because they loved you and wanted you to be safe. It makes sense really.
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 16h
Preferable to the alternative where parents leash their kids out of negligence because they can't be bothered to actually supervise them...
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 16h
Negligent parents don't bother with a leash. Theirs is the kid running around seeking attention from others while they sit and drink.
kungen@feddit.nu · 1 pts · 1d
Only once? I guess that's further confirmation that childhood trauma runs deep.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 13h
I can add to the conclusion as I wasn't a leash kid and am not a furry
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 14 pts · 1d
I was born a furry. 😤
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1d
Should've gotten one with some elasticity so you could bungee jump with it.
cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d
Good lord. That is insane. Glad you’re still around!
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1d
I'm surprised it didn't pop your head right off!
skisnow@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 1d
I was wondering why some people here felt so strongly about it - are y'all imagining it goes round their necks like a dog's?
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1d
No I was taking the piss.
Bongles@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 1d
Gimme back my piss.
Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1d
I can provide you with some as a replacement if that helps.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 7 pts · 1d
I mean, it wasn't a neck seat belt.
sukhmel@programming.dev · 1 pts · 18h
That's a nice video though
Malica@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1d
Holy shit new fear unlocked
lolrightythen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world · 89 pts · 1d
I will never look down on a parent with a leashed kid. Rather a safe kid on a leash than a dead kid in the streets.
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 38 pts · 1d
I'll often look down on a kid themselves, but only because it is impossible to regard a being who is less tall than me without looking down u.u
::: spoiler [explaining the joke] Subverting expectation of disrespect by indicating purely physical and logistical reasons which contain no value judgement of another person and therefore no commentary upon the concept of respect :::
FishFace@piefed.social · 5 pts · 20h
::: spoiler Tap for spoiler I wasn't ready for the explanation to be funny as well :::
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d
Better a safe kid on a leash than a dead kid on a leash.
OpenStars@discuss.online · 5 pts · 19h
But just as fun, in its own way!
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 60 pts · 1d
When you're walking in a public place overrun with people, no separation between road and sidewalk, multiple other hazards and a toddler who only moves by running full speed, I do not see a problem with putting a harness and lead on the kid. Parents try their best to pay attention at all times, but when you're this tired, it's good to have the insurance. If you want to judge someone's parenting, judge the ones who ignore their kids so they can spend more time on their phones
VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 22 pts · 1d
As a leasher, I know what I'm doing. My one kid is nuts. And you nailed it.
I never had anybody be a dick about it. Most people throw a pet joke, which is funny. But I can't imagine taking offense to it.
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1d
Same here. There was well-intentioned (though silly) joke. However, right after I explained why I was using the leash, they were very understanding. Also met random people in Manila who praised me for it and said that it really needs to be more common (if there is a city where you need it, it's Manila)
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 21h
I draw the line at a choker chain, though.
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 18h
Well, are we still talking about actual parents, or are we talking about a 'Mommy" or "Daddy", because depending on the situation, I can totally support chokers.
ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website · 3 pts · 13h
People act like apronstrings weren't a real thing
AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 10h
Apron strings? I never heard of that and didn't find anything. That used to be a thing?
luxadazy@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 9h
Lyrl@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 9h
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leading_strings
SarahValentine@pawb.social · 50 pts · 1d
I'm less concerned with people who leash a toddler than I am with those who won't leash their dog.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 49 pts · 19h
When my son was a toddler, I had an older aunt who had no children, but plenty of opinions on how they should be raised. We were visiting one time, and planned a visit to the zoo, and she just insisted that we had to get a leash for him, or he was so going to get away from us, and end up in an animal pen, and get eaten, presumably.
I refused her many orders to get a leash (I didn't even know where to find one, this was before Amazon), and finally just flat out told her that there would be no leash, we would just have to do our jobs as parents and adults, and actually pay attention to him.
And he only got into animal pens a few times. He hardly got gnawed on at all. He was fine.
whatstatersprecious@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 18h
Get a leash! You want another gorilla to get shot?
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 15h
This is precisely the 80s VHS parenting payoff I was hoping for
GraniteM@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 16h
I once saw a Mom at an information desk at an art museum take her fussy, fidgeting toddler, gently lay him down on the ground, and put her foot on him, Captain Morgan style:
Kid didn't cry or try to escape. Thoroughly impressive. Might plant the seed to awaken something in the kid when he hits puberty, though.
Uruanna@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 15h
Kid heard the phrase "step on me mommy" and asked his mom what it meant, the mom pondered how to answer.
Saber_is_dead@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 9h
I appreciate the helpful diagram
Lehmuusa@nord.pub · 39 pts · 21h
I know a person whose kid has ADHD and was constantly running carelessly into random directions, failing to immediately react to their mother shouting them to stop. There was so much spontaneous and uncontrolled running here and there that the only option seemed to be to constantly hold their hand.
Eventually the kid's mother came to the conclusion that the kid will have more freedom if she's kept on a leash instead of having to hold hands. The time they had to use the leash didn't end up being many months, either. In the case of that family it was definitely a choice that increased the psychological well-being of the child and supported their development of motor skills.
You can never know what the reasons are, so go careful with judging!
mirshafie@europe.pub · 13 pts · 19h
Yeah, exactly this. Some kids are just different and it really isn't a fault in the parenting that the child is likely to put themselves in a dangerous situation.
Caring for a kid like that is plenty exhausting enough without the snide remarks of fully grown adults that like to entertain themselves at the child's expense. The kid I cared for didn't have a harness but in retrospect that would have been pretty damn handy.
Interestingly, children are way more understanding than most adults.
Serinus@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 1d
Leashing kids I'm betting 8 times out of 10 is uncalled for and controlling and stupid.
But you don't know circumstances, and let me tell you, I've met some kids. Sometimes it is appropriate, so I try not to judge.
Even if it is 2 out of 10 that it's appropriate for, those people are going through enough shit without me side-eyeing them. Probably ain't my business.
olafurp@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1d
FYI, a leash gives a toddler more freedom than the alternatives. Strollers and hand holding both restrict movement a lot more than a leash.
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 1d
Oh so it's okay when the KIDS are on a leash, but when I'm wearing one, I'm a "freak" and I'm "being asked to leave the costco". Damn double standards.... I could run into traffic TOO you know!
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d
Huh, I don't remember writing this comment
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 13h
Well, you're supposed to be wearing more than just the leash. Rookie mistake
And yeah, honestly I'm pretty sure my wife wishes she could get away with keeping me leashed in public. I get distracted and she worries I'll walk into traffic
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 18h
It wasn't the leash, it was that all you were wearing was the leash... and also the not being potty trained the "marking* of stuff.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 30 pts · 1d
Here's a picture of your normal family OP
5too@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1d
Gotta say, I'm appreciating the comments on this post a lot more this time around - last time this was posted there was a lot of anti-leashing sentiment.
I'm just trying to figure out - did the people on Lemmy change? Is it the time of day? Pretty sure it's the same community as before!
Zwrt@lemmy.sdf.org · 12 pts · 1d
Timezone is a big one
Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 1d
Comments sometimes differ a lot on a per post basis tbh.
cosmos8188@leminal.space · 5 pts · 21h
Not only per post but also communities and instances. Different locations attract different people within certain time frames.
FishFace@piefed.social · 6 pts · 20h
I'm interested in the previous one because I feel like I'm detecting some defensiveness stemming from that!
Me and my sister were on leashes as kids. Also we had a bouncer that you hung in a doorframe and I described this at preschool as "we hang our baby from the ceiling" 😅
BC_viper@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 1d
Fuck no, im a pro leash parent.
nova@lemmy.wtf · 23 pts · 1d
as an ex-leash autistic, I would have definitely run into traffic or just straight up disappeared had I not been
BC_viper@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
Haha, I was definitely leashed as a child, and I know why. I was a bolter, my child was also a bolter.
Murse@slrpnk.net · 26 pts · 1d
Looks goofy. Keeps people safe. I'd call that a fair trade - it's a tale as old as PPE.
If we're going to criticize peoples' parenting, I'd turn your sights to the dipshits who are sacrificing their children to antivaxxism (which simultaneously sacrifices YOUR children to antivaxxism if the viral mutations they're breeding up manage to null the efficacy of vaccines in the already-immunized).
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 12h
Seems I'm in a rare group where I think leashing kids is fine but also think that joking about it is fine. ¯\(ツ)/¯
Edit: fixed smiley (maybe?)
LePoisson@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 9h
I'm in the same group. My kid is pretty young (just turning into a toddler) but I could see possibly needing to leash his ass in the future. I also would laugh my ass off if someone asked me in public if he was a stray or made some other joke about it.
Can't take life too seriously but I get people might feel like the joke is insensitive. I suppose I also have a horrible sense of humor and what I find funny might be actually offensive to others at times so ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip · 24 pts · 20h
It's not bizarre. It gives the kid some freedom without risking the bolting the second you're not looking.
Mine thought they were the ones leading us around. So people can chill with the faux projected outage about indignity that the kids are not feeling.
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 1d
My mother leashed me and twin if she had us solo. Which is like. Fair? How you going to deal with two little runners by yourself?
Mother hated doing it though cause other people in the late 80s were so fucking judgemental about it.
Of all the shit in my childhood, being on a leash did not affect me. So leash them kiddies up.
makeshift0546@lemmy.today · 22 pts · 1d
I've watched kids bolt. Some of you need to touch grass and interact with your neighbors.
Beth@piefed.social · 22 pts · 19h
It isn’t bizarre to the parent with a kid who will bolt, but still deserves to go outside.
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 18h
Edit: Just to be clear, this is a pro leash comment.
My kids are very well behaved, not just compared to other ADHD, but to any other kid. However, let them pass the ADHD tipping point where they are too tired, excessively stimulated, over sugared, or god forbid, all 3 at the same time, and they will do the most insane shit just because 2 neurons accidentally bumped together and gave them some stray thought.
mig@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 18h
You know where those 3 things coincide? At the airport. Among crowds of thousands. Where you can actually lose a kid. I leashed my toddlers at the airport. This also lets you deal with gate attendants and baggage check in. Outside the airport I would tell them to hold my leg while I dealt with counter staff. That way I knew they were with me but had both hands free to deal with paperwork.
kayohtie@pawb.social · 6 pts · 15h
I always struggle with this idea that it's ADHD, but maybe there's more than just the ADHD going on.
I have severe ADHD, combined type (inattentive + 'hyperactive'), but running around the airport or mall away from parents was never an issue. The worst I did was climb into clothing racks at Stein Mart because I was bored out of my skull when my mom shopped there.
The main thing I think is I also got taught to let her or my dad know if I wanted to go look at a thing, so they knew where I was if they couldn't come with, and to let them know again if I wanted to look at another thing.
I don't know if there's something specific I was taught or guided on that caused neither me nor my sister to need that kind of supervision, or if there's a different neurological condition that leads to the bolting, but it ain't ADHD on its own, even severe.
mig@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2h
Straight up, toddlers just bolt it's in their hardware. Half your job is keeping them in sight and reach of a panic sprint.
I'm a mom with adhd but I didn't know it then, I just knew I had to keep them front and center of my attention or in this case literally attached to me due to the environmental distractions for all of us. Everything else can fail but one must not fail to keep track of the bebe. Oops the car got repoed, the gas is getting turned off, oops I have nothing to wear to the wedding. Fine. I still got this funny little lemming safe and sound.
Hang on I'm going to go hug the grumpy ferret it grew into.
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 16h
I agree with you. I can see now how my post could be interpreted as an argument against, but it was intended to be just the opposite.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 15h
The only way a toddler should be allowed on a plane is in the cargo hold
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 11h
toddlers are not people
(/j)
chiliedogg@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 10h
We went millenia without toddlers needing to get on a plane. That's one area where we've regressed as a society.
Malica@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 1d
Ok I was of this opinion until I had an autistic son. He's crafty, fast and enjoys doing whatever he is told not to do. He's almost run into traffic several times. We caught him, but barely, enough to make me reconsider this idea. I haven't bought him one, but I understand.
Meron35@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 1d
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 17h
Spoken by someone who never had a child who has disabilities and is hard to keep with you, sheesh.
Rooster326@programming.dev · 16 pts · 16h
As a parent who had one on a leash. It's fine. I thought it was funny. My life is a joke anyways.
Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 12h
Even without any particular care needs or neuro-differences, a lot of kids can sometimes be a danger to themselves when out in public. Our public spaces are not designed to mitigate this, and it tends to happen at a stage when their ability to understand and obey verbal instructions is low (or at least slow), and physically controlling them is extremely unergonomic for the adult (too heavy to constantly pick up, too short to constantly hold their hands).
dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 12h
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 1d
Tell me you've never been a parent without using the words. One of my kids was a runner and could yank their elbow or shoulder out of place of you tried to hold on to them by their hand. A harness and leash made life bearable for all of us for that time period.
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 14 pts · 1d
We used a leash on our youngest for a few years in crowds. Never will be sorry for it. It gave him the sense of autonomy while keeping him directed, where holding his hand would quickly lead to problems. This was before the better understanding of ADHD, we were told by older adults (who were always critical of how we parented) that he'd "grow out of it". It gave us all peace and kept him safe.
Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 1d
A while back I was driving on a gravel road just outside town and came across a lady going for a walk with a kid and a large dog. The kid was on a leash, the dog was running free.
I giggled about that for the rest of the day.
arotrios@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d
"Does he bite?"
Dojan@pawb.social · 11 pts · 22h
When I visited a friend in the states back in 2019, I saw a small Russian family who kept their kid on a leash when we visited the aquarium. Initially I was amused, but once that died off I just found it clever. I, a grown ass-man managed to lose my friends in the crowd a few times, that family never lost their kid.
I'll never have kids, but if I did, I'd be leashing it in that kind of situation too.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1d
I only didn't use a leash because the one time I did the kid spun around and tried to strangle themselves on it. Not from being upset, just everyday normal accidentally-suicidal toddler behavior. Had I been that mom I'd have laughed. Hysterically, with an edge veering into insanity, because that's what it's like sometimes, with the infant and toddler tagteaming to keep you up all night and stressed all day. But a good joke is a good joke.
Thankfully my kids survived to adulthood.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 9 pts · 1d
I have never seen a leashed kid outside of the US/Canada.
Anyone know what people do differently in the rest of the world?
rumba@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 1d
They were popular there for a while. My theory is that we drastically changed raising standards too quickly; we went from spare the rod, spoil the child to don't beat your kids in one generation. Instead of parents learning how to discipline properly instead of using fear as a motivator, many just let the kids free range. When the kids completely lacked any discipline, they decided the backpack leash was the right answer.
We had a couple of years of super-nanny, people learned how to do a timeouts and actually talk to / reason with their kids.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 4 pts · 1d
Maybe, but what shocks me is how much quicker children seem to mature outside the US, like 6 year olds walking across town to get to school in Japan, its gotta be more than "how much do physically vs psychologically beat the kid", and it doesn't seem to be "just give the kid more responsibility" since I had an actual conversation with a 6 year old on a train ride in China, he was way more advanced than my 9 year old nephew, and the chinese kid was a private school, only child, so I can't imagine he had much responsibility.
I think it has something to do with the type of enrichment a kid experiences, like being strapped to a carseat playing a "tap button on iPad, get reward" game is probably as bad for a kid's development as locking them in a plain white room.
Bongles@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 1d
I think it's at least in part because they're allowed to mature. It's a whole thing letting your kid go to a nearby store alone for the first time in Japan. In parts of America, you will be arrested for "neglecting your child" now if they do that. (That's not hyperbole)
rumba@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d
To be honest, my wife used to walk miles in Hartford, Connecticut to go to school.
I don't think it's a maturity thing. It's literally not safe to let our kids travel by themselves. Look at them hiding the epstein stuff to keep businessmen safe. Everyone here is armed, people shoot kids who knock on their doors not infrequently.
Sure, to a certain extent the statistical odds of it happening are low, but they're 0 in most other places in the world.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 1d
I suspect the US is still safer, I haven't seen one yet but surely the 12 year olds I see across SEA riding electrics or 125ccs with 4 friends or younger siblings on the bike get in accidents more often than kids get shot in the US.
rumba@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 13h
Shot, kidnapped, raped, hung,
There's a surprising number of black people being found hung or lost on boat trips that never makes the news.
Most countries in the world look after each others kids. hell 50 years ago, we used to look after each others kids.
Now a days, they call the cops of kids wandering around.
Zos_Kia@jlai.lu · 5 pts · 15h
I swear to God this is terrifying to me. No wonder the US is a creepy place. And you've got people all over this thread defending it cause their parents did it to them. "They were right to leash me I was a runner" Jesus fucking Christ it's a carbon copy of every thread on corporal punishment ever.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 15h
Yeah no parenting in the US is weird as fuck and you don't realize how weird it is until you leave.
chloroken@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 9h
Thank you for writing my thoughts.
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 2 pts · 1d
Less car-centric infrastructure. Also for whatever reason a lot of Americans are dumb AF and I'd assume that also affects children in a similar manner. So maybe our children aren't as suicidal.
muelltonne@feddit.org · 8 pts · 10h
That tweet is so old that the kid is a teenager now
GarboDog@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 23h
Idk if the environment is dangerous and the kid is prone to running off and play in traffic mood then yeah you might need something at the very least.
DudleyMason@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 11h
I believe that as long as the best behaved dog is required to be leashed in public, children under 5 should be required to be leashed as well, until the worst behaved toddler is demonstrably better behaved than the best behaved dog.
Leashing a kid doesn't hurt them, and people who have a problem with it are generally real assholes..
stylusmobilus@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 9h
Quite often it’s done because the child is autistic or similar and there are flight or escape issues.
Eh_I@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
She realized she put the dog on a bus to school.
cmbabul@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 1d
Didn’t Katt Williams put a stop to this like 20 years ago?
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Wait, what? The comedian?
...
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 3 pts · 1d
Her answer should have been "yes".
RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 18h
y'all have to leash your kids?
Folstar@lemmus.org · -2 pts · 13h
Jokes at the expense of neurodivergent/disabled kids are hilarious!!! Hundreds of upvotes for you!!! Ruining that already struggling parents day gets all the internet points!!!
Elopement. Look it up you fuckwits.
This place was supposed to be better than Reddit, but this is Truth Social level posting.
MJKee9@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 13h
The meme is not your enemy. You seem to be having a hard day. Many of us are. I hope it gets better.
Earthwormjim91@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 11h
Yeah, I hate people that make these kind of jokes.
A little boy in my son’s class was nonverbal autistic and an eloper. He ended up sneaking out, getting into the unlocked apartment pool, and drowning a few days after school ended this summer.
I feel so bad for his parents. They were always so exhausted trying to keep him safe because he was a little Houdini.
Jaysyn@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 12h
Or maybe you're just an asshole.
W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · -8 pts · 1d
Not funny and fuck you (not OP, the poster of the tweet).
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Be civil