Anon fears The Hand

338 points · 89 comments · view on lemmy.world

89 Comments

zaphod@sopuli.xyz · 89 pts · 20h (6 replies)

People would start religions around The Hand. Obviously only sinners would get crushed by The Hand.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 64 pts · 20h (2 replies)

look, if I could see an actual giant hand crushing people, I'd sign up to that religion really fast

SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 13h

Right? That's way more real than any religion i've ever heard of

TwilightKiddy@scribe.disroot.org · 5 pts · 17h

Zeus could always use more followers, you know?

Barley_Man@sopuli.xyz · 40 pts · 20h (2 replies)

Or only the blessed get crushed by The Hand. The crushing transports you straight to the heavenly hand realm. You will get worshipped as a god for generations in your village after getting crushed.

NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 20 pts · 19h (1 reply)

Blasphemy! Only the wicked are punished by The Hand! Crush the heretic!

tetris11@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 17h

Guys, guys, it's not about morality. It's about appendages. Tom had a big dick. Harry had a big dick. That's why you're still here, Dick.

Technus@lemmy.zip · 63 pts · 21h (8 replies)

One extra death a day wouldn't even move the needle, it sounds terrifying but there's lots more likely ways to die.

MurrayL@lemmy.world · 53 pts · 20h

Humans are awful at probability, so yeah - there would be an entire highly-profitable industry centred on hand detection and protection products.

apex32@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 19h (1 reply)

Yup. I just looked up car fatalities in the US. It's 120 people per day. Source

I think it's funny how if this was caused by a giant floating hand that only targets people in cars, people would be absolutely terrified to get on the road. But since it's caused by cars, people are just like, "meh, that's just the way it is."

idiomaddict@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 16h

It’s the illusion of control. We all know logically that the best driver in the world can still be killed by a really negligent fellow driver, but people don’t really internalize that. If there were a giant hand that sometimes killed people on staircases, people would be more worried about staircases than they are now, even though plenty of people already die on them (about a tenth as many die on the stairs as occupants of cars die in accidents). We know what the risk factors are, and we can reduce our own risk by using a bannister, carefully clearing snow or ice from outdoor steps/making sure there isn't a loose carpet on indoor steps, and arranging our homes to use stairs less frequently as we get older. Doing those things makes us feel like stairs are less dangerous, even though our statistics reflect a world in which people already know to do those things.

It’s why aneurysms are so scary to some people- we don’t really know how to diagnose what causes them until they’ve already happened, so they feel random to people

schnokobaer@feddit.org · 22 pts · 20h (2 replies)

But knowing humanity it would be a spectacle

rtxn@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 19h (1 reply)

It would be the single most active gambling economy.

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 15h

I suppose you would gamble on location? Country/state. Age and gender of victim? And then they read it on the nightly news like lotto numbers? “Male. 40s. Mexico.” You win the Hand Jackpot.

whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 20h (1 reply)

the size isn't that big if its index can crush one person and nothing else around, so you're in luck if you see it once in your lifetime I think

EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 15h

Does it pick one person randomly on the planet then travel there in one day? Then you'd probably see it a few times moving from person to person. Especially in high population areas. It would be a fairly common sight traveling between China and India. It would definitely be unusual to witness a crushing or to know anyone who was crushed.

LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works · 53 pts · 15h (6 replies)

Only 1 per day? I think that would make the hand one of the safer things on Earth

CrabAndBroom@lemmy.ml · 18 pts · 13h (5 replies)

Presumably the odds of getting squished by the hand is 1 in 8 billion-ish, if it's properly random. The odds of winning the Powerball lottery is apparently 1 in 292 million, so it's probably not something to really worry about lol.

LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 13h (4 replies)

I wonder if it picks a truly random person, or if it sort of stays in one geographical area and sort of makes its way across continents slowly, like over the span of weeks? If its the former, it would be distinctly unsettling to see it hovering over your city like a thundercloud. If its the latter, it would be quite the spectacle to see it breaking the sound barrier as it hurtles around the world.

yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de · 14 pts · 12h (1 reply)

It wouldn't need to break the sound barrier. Killing someone once a day should mean one death every 24 hours (assuming the hand uses its own hand time zone).

The Earth's circumfrence is about 40,000 km, meaning the hand would need to travel at most 20,000 km in 24 hours which requires a speed of 833 km/h, whereas the speed of sound is 1235 km/h.

LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 12h

You are right, thank you! Unless the Hand wants to get there early so it can spend 12 hours hovering ominously over the person its going to kill.

NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 12h

What if the target person is indoors or underground? Does it just smash through?

CrabAndBroom@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 12h

I suppose if it's the former it would be even safer, as you could somewhat plan to stay out of it's way. Or like, if it's over Europe and you're in Africa, you know you're 100% safe for the next little while.

For the latter, maybe it exists in a dimension above our own. By which I mean... imagine if you were a 2D circle on a piece of paper, with a 3D hand pressing it's finger on the piece of paper. When the hand lifts it's finger off the paper, it effectively vanishes from your field of reference, then when it presses down somewhere else on the paper it looks like it magically came from nowhere.

Eq0@literature.cafe · 38 pts · 16h (2 replies)

If The Hand had always been there, it’s basically like being struck by lightning. There would be people claiming to have survived, people telling the tale of having seen the squishing, but overall such a minuscule occurrence not many would really care about it

musubibreakfast@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 6h (1 reply)

I think it would have more significance, imagine there was a single immortal entity that looks exactly like one of your body parts. I guarantee you people are chopping off each other's hands and offering them to the "hand god". And don't even get me started on feminism, is it a male hand, is it a female hand? What does it mean?

Philosophy, science and even art would all be vastly different. Imagine you're Martin Heidegger and you try to reason that mortality makes an authentic and meaningful life possible. Yeah sure Marty, then why the fuck does this giant hand squish people? This giant hand is immortal, and it's giving all of our lives meaning. Do you not think the fucking hand knows that? Do you know why the hand is doing what it does? Do you think we're somehow better than the hand because we die?

Or maybe you're Frederick Nietzsche. And you are wondering about eternal recurrence. Would someone willingly live the exact life forever? I don't know dumb ass, have you considered asking the big giant floating hand?

These are just a few examples but you are vastly underestimating the significance of the giant floating hand.

IronBird@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2h

we would imprison the hand somehow, the gods must be destroyed

f314@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 13h

It would be added to the list of things not covered by your insurance, that’s for sure!

Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml · 27 pts · 18h (2 replies)

We would have killed it thousands of years ago along with all the other megafauna

idiomaddict@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 16h (1 reply)

Damn, we’re the scary ones, aren’t we?

Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 16h

At least since we figured out ranged weapons, yeah. We went from being mid tier to apex overnight and have been wrecking shit ever since.

empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 23 pts · 20h (6 replies)

Someone played Black and White a little too much

Ingiald@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 19h (1 reply)

deeeeeaaaath...

ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 18h

Soundbyte fused into memory. What a great game

tetris11@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 17h

SMACK MY BITCH UP!

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 14h (1 reply)

RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · -1 pts · 14h

would

solidsmoke@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 15h

"We've got this notion, that we'd quite like to sail the ocean..."

hOrni@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 19h (2 replies)

Some people would deny its existence.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 18h (1 reply)

"It's probably just a freak weather accident caused by microclimates, Susan. A giant hand isn't just going to come down and -"
*smush*

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 12 pts · 17h

That smush didn't even come from the hand. Susan just had enough of the bullshit

chunes@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 6h

One per day? Lawn mowers are about 5 times more lethal than that.

cosmicrookie@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 20h (2 replies)

There would be a TV show about it, featuring the chase every day

tetris11@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 17h (1 reply)

Guy on a dirtbike trying to outrun it on the freeway but the hand just goes up and hides behind a cloud, waiting

rmuk@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 13h

So it'd be kinda like NOPE?

Zozano@aussie.zone · 13 pts · 16h

The hand spend 1/3 of the year in China + India alone.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 12 pts · 20h

historically accurate Master Hand

witty_username@feddit.nl · 10 pts · 17h (4 replies)

A new branch of research emerges, solely focused on explaining and predicting the pattern of the Hand.
The more spiritually inclined among them believe that there is a transcendental number that the Hand follows. They call it the Number. Pseudoscientific practices flourish, despite the reality being that the Number most likely generated by a random process. A popular line of reasoning argues that a distinct vector of time, latitude and longitude lies beneath the Hand's choice of targets. Time and again these theories get debunked. Nonetheless, proponents typically evade criticisms by some combination of blaming inaccurate coordinate measurements or arguing for overhauling the entire global coordinate system.
Disproving the Hand Number theorem ends up on the list of millennium problems. The AI revolution fails to find a solution. Consequentially, stronger models are built. A singularity is born. It decides that humanity thrives when united against a common adversary. It joins the Hand.
No one ever finds out precisely how the Hands choose their targets. However, they do appear to have a slight bias towards targeting people with a known history of aggression and untrustworthiness

Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 16h (3 replies)

Numberwang?

Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 16h (2 replies)

THAT'S NUMBERWANG

rmuk@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 13h (1 reply)

How about cucumberwang?

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 12h

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 6h

Also, the next victim's name is displayed on the palm. So, everyone knows you're it, no one will help you, or let you come inside to hide, because then the building would get crushed.

FluidBeef@quokk.au · 8 pts · 19h

This is basically way less lethal than cancer.

nop@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 13h
rmuk@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 10h (4 replies)

Anyone else remember an eighties or nineties cartoon like batman or something that had an episode with a flying hand like this? IIRC it looked like a mouse cursor... I can't remember anything else about it.

BlueberryWalnut@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 6h (3 replies)

Holy shit yes and Batman had to tear it open and rip out wires to... take control of how it flew? Was it in a Minotaur maze maybe and they cheated by flying on the hand instead of going through the maze properly?

Edit: found it maybe

Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 4h (2 replies)

"In the Arab world, you always eat with your right hand."

Not to shit on Bats, even Bats of the "Times" as he strikes me as a dude willing to learn and change his views.

That shit just slapped me in the face a little. It slightly shallow racism right? Crazy to think the things we heard and watched when we were kids.

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3h (1 reply)

it's based on islamic values.... https://islamqa.info/en/answers/82120/the-reason-why-the-right-hand-is-preferred-over-the-left

maybe culturally simplistic, but I dunno if I'd go as far as racism. it certainly paints with a wide brush....

Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2h

Thank you for the link. Will check it out.

BoosBeau@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 15h (1 reply)

Question: Can we bribe the hand for sexual favors?

lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 15h

It does have that Macro/Micro vibe

4am@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 17h

This is how you get Super Smash bros

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 18h (2 replies)

Does the hand reach people that are underground or inside buildings?

tetris11@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 18h (1 reply)

if it sees them.... with its eyes....

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 15h

Hand eye coordination

sirico@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 19h

Hand insurance

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 16h

It turns out the invisible hand was always seen and used by those with lots of money and power. Not so invisible.

frankenswine@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 21h

reality tv were significantly more relevant

MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 5h

A significant portion of the population would deny The Hands existance despite overwhelming evidence and blame all hand related crushings on the Jews or brown people.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 4h

What if instead of a hand it was a giant dick and it jizzed gallons of cum onto the victim until they suffocated?

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 16h

Who's going outside in 2026?

Politicians would brag homeless rates are going down.

TootSweet@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 5h

Wallmaster fanfic.

four@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 16h

I assume that there is a point in the past (though it would be pre-history), where the Hand would have been enough to wipe out the humanity. But we would have to have a clearer definition on what a person is

dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 20h (2 replies)

What if the next hand victim gets shot into space and it would take the hand more then one day to reach that person?

Or if its relative, because the hand is slightly faster so it moves always relative with the person, what if it takes more then one day to get back? Does it just respawn on earth?

tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 17h (1 reply)

I imagine the hand has a getaway island where it lies on a sunny beach to get a tan, has a nice little patch of forest to act as a scratching post, and jerks off oil tankers causing occasional spillage

dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 17h

Sounds reasonable.

Peppycito@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 17h

It'd attract a crowd of Blue Meanies to help it.

Derpenheim@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 14h (3 replies)

4 people are born every second. Not too much would really change, it would just be another force of nature we've come to accept.

kandoh@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 10h (2 replies)

There's ample chance for the person who ended up squished to be important for something.

Derpenheim@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 7h (1 reply)

1 in 8 billion? Thats worse than the lottery

kandoh@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 2h

Over all of human history, so at scale it will get a few freak occurrences

QueenFern@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 15h

NIN had an album about this

Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 13h (1 reply)

Pretty sure that's the final boss in an old video game, Super Smahs Bros iirc?

LotrOrc@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 6h

N64 version yup

Fizz@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 6h

'Its called the hand " extremely creative naming

Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 16h (1 reply)

"Stop poking me!"

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 13h

"What do I look like, an orc?"

Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org · 1 pts · 16h

The Flying Fickle Finger of Fate? Or is it The Glove?