Whats the worst baby name?

113 points · 180 comments · view on lemmy.world

180 Comments

capuccino@lemmy.world · 149 pts · 227d (3 replies)

X Æ A-12

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 48 pts · 226d

Clearly you’ve never done ketamine.

Akasazh@feddit.nl · 7 pts · 226d

I have never, but I would buy a sex implement with that name. Not to attack musk realtives, but to devalue his brand.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 225d

sidareal, techno mechanius or slider.

empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 88 pts · 226d (4 replies)

Doubleohdonut@lemmy.ca · 62 pts · 226d (1 reply)

The tears in her eyes... she knows already lol

Smoogs@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 226d

That’s the look of a child who knows they are facing a lifetime of fixing up shit in the wake of very dumb parents.

WILSOOON@programming.dev · 32 pts · 226d

Never seen a 1000 yard stare PRE traumatic event. That daughter is special in more ways than one.

mech@feddit.org · 1 pts · 225d

Poor kid will be called Qui-Gon in school.

CobblerScholar@lemmy.world · 54 pts · 227d (2 replies)

Standard names spelled with far too many letters. JeighSynn and Kryssteighnah are not people names they are scientific nomenclature or some shit

AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip · 46 pts · 227d

Sounds like real tragedeighs right there.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

its always white midwesterners, trying to sound clever. at least its not ABCDE and the mom said it was "Absidy

gedaliyah@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 226d (5 replies)

MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 226d

People in 1990: maybe enough time has passed that - nooope.

kubofhromoslav@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 226d (1 reply)

I'm curious about the resurgence in the 50/60s

nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 225d

Jim Crow and the KKK maybe. There’s always a backlash when civil rights are gained.

We’re living through one right now. I hope we make it.

hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 225d

Looks like Adolf's signature with a bit Parkinson's disease.

Nomecks@lemmy.ca · 47 pts · 227d (5 replies)

No, there's probably worse baby names than "whats"

Bahnd@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 227d (3 replies)

Who's on first?

Nomecks@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 226d

Whats on second?

N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Third base!

alternategait@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d
[ removed ]
ollie@pawb.social · 7 pts · 226d

happy cake day you silly individual 🙃

RBWells@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 226d (13 replies)

I was doing payroll recently for my work, and came across Harsh Harsh. I had to ask our HR lady, really? His last name was Harsh and his parents named him Harsh?

Well, no. She said his name was simply Harsh but our system required a last name so she repeated it.

Still, pretty harsh I think.

embed_me@programming.dev · 15 pts · 226d (1 reply)

It means joy in Indian languages

Etterra@discuss.online · 6 pts · 226d

That actually makes it funnier lol

PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 226d (5 replies)

My grandfather in law only had one name. When they immigrated, they made his first name "XXX".

One time someone asked him "like the movie?"

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 225d (4 replies)

I met a soldier who's last name was too long to fit on a nametape. They asked if he could shorten it and he chose X instead. iirc he was Indonesian or Thai...

Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 225d (1 reply)

That’s actually against regs in the US military. The correct way is to keep spelling until the name tape runs out of space.

However, who’s going to correct the man about his own name? In his case, X literally pronounces as KingFaldTheBeeswaxBeeblebrox and I’ll be damned if you think it’s anything else, you silly gate guard!

What happened? I blacked out.

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 224d

What happened? I blacked out.

typical gate guards :D

RBWells@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 225d (1 reply)

I worked with a lady whose married name was Xu, she'd kept it when she divorced him. She was Laotian. (Really cool lady, grew up in refugee camp, married high roller Chinese guy, got t educated, when they divorced she moved to the US and was successful on her own). One day i forwarded her an email from a vendor, his name long and unpronounceable, and she looked at it and said, oh! That is the same as my maiden name! I could see why she kept the last name of the Chinese husband :)

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 224d

heh, easy decision to cut a lot of time signing shit out of her life.

I feel bad for the kid in first grade who's like "I'm Bobby, Bobby Laxwhanxijontongsilvalessbronchongamonson"

Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 226d (2 replies)

That's an interesting thing, in many countries such as the UK, it is perfectly legal to just not have a surname. Probably the best example is our own King, Charles.

elephantium@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 225d (1 reply)

But Charles does have a surname. Mountbatten-Windsor? Or does that not count? I'm foggy on what the rules are for the royal family.

Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 225d

That's not his actual surname. Mountbatten-Windsor is a surname given to descendants of royals who aren't working members (or ex royals in Andrew's case). While Charles still doesn't have a surname, generally if you faced a situation where you had a database which absolutely must take a surname, he'd likely simply put down "Windsor" as the Mountbatten thing was a compromise made between the late Queen Elizabeth II and the family of the late Prince Philip.

It kind of applies to working royals as well.

However even then, I believe that would probably only be used by Princess Anne. As the children of the Prince and Princess of Wales will probably use the word "Wales" in place of a surname, and previously would have likely used "Cambridge" in terms of school records. I don't know how this works out for the rest of the family as Princess Beatrice and Eugenie's father (formerly York) lost his title and the Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh's children aren't working royals/prince/princess despite the fact they are normally perfectly entitled to the title, as they are a grandchild of the monarch. (Although with Harry and Andrew gone, some are speculating that Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor might step up).

Queen Elizabeth II still has some living cousins such as HRH The Duke of Kent and HRH The Duke of Gloucester. They aren't really well known but are still carrying out royal duties quite diligently (well, that would also depend on your viewpoint on royal duties, etc)

ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 225d

Woulda made them set my first name as "Just" so it'd be "Just Harsh" and it should make for some who's on first fun.

Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 225d

Sounds like some refugees coming from the african/middle east.
I have one colleague with an "official" and an actual birthdate.
I believe some also don't have the given/sur name system.

Townlately@feddit.nl · 31 pts · 226d (15 replies)

ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Bona Petite

Holy shit. Where to start with this one...

  • Regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl, this name will lead to merciless teasing at school.
  • What a random phrase to name a child after (even if the father is a chef).
  • It's not spelled correctly (it should be Bon Appétit). But even with the correct spelling it would be a bad choice.
  • This spelling is like something Ricky from Trailer Park Boys would name his kid.
  • Related to the above point, they may add well just name their kid 'Bone Apple Tea'.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 226d

Unironically a fantastic drag name though.

gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Great porn star name though

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

dallas is another one.

Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus · 18 pts · 226d

I imagine myself when someone says:"These are my twins, their names are Karke Kristian kale and Karkea Kristiana Kalea!" and i get a cramp all over my head because my face doesn't know if it should show rage, laughter or sadness and does all at once

Lemming421@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Brexet (pronounced “Bridget”)

😐

Townlately@feddit.nl · 15 pts · 226d (2 replies)

"Pimpley" is fairly impressive.

flubba86@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 226d (1 reply)

The inclusion of Pimpley is what gives away that is satire.

chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 226d

As well as Dudeson and KKK. But Pimpley is where I figured it out.

Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 11 pts · 226d (5 replies)

Dudeson would be fine. He'd just go by Dude.

Fondots@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 226d

Or "His Dudeness" or "Duder" or "El Duderino" if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

RouxBru@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Dudeson, and Dudesona for the girl

bob_lemon@feddit.org · 8 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Dudesona sounds like a male alter ego

blackbrook@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 226d

Used when animals dress up like people. Smoothies.

Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 226d

Well, that's better than Dudedaughter. Still about the most survivable name on the list.

Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 27 pts · 226d (4 replies)

Abcde - pronounced Abceedee

And yes it's a real fucking name.

Gonzako@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 226d (2 replies)

AVICII?

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d (1 reply)

Isn't that "a 108" in roman numerals?

Gonzako@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d

it's the name of a tech DJ that offed himself

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

so is crystal methvin and methany.

pulsewidth@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Ask Elon, he tries to come up with a worse one for each child.

bob_lemon@feddit.org · 17 pts · 226d

Speaking of which: Elon

wirelesswire@lemmy.zip · 24 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Not specifically baby name, but I went to high school with a guy whose last name was Bohnert (pronounced like boner). Guess what his nickname was.

It was funny whenever we had a substitute teacher and they would do roll call:

"...Bahnert?"

"It's boner"

PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 226d

If his actual name is pronounced "boner" than I have no idea what nickname could possibly be more nicknamey than his actual name.

Vadge maybe? Depending on how long ago this was

NotACentrifugalBird@infosec.pub · 23 pts · 226d

Moistopher

redlemace@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 227d (1 reply)

Just look at the offspring of the rich and famous. That covers it quite well

ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 226d

I remember a rich kid named Choate (like the school) and laughing every time I saw it because that shit's just way too close to chode.

Tujio@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 227d (2 replies)

Many years ago I lost the naming rights of my firstborn in a bet. If I have a boy I have to name him Dongshaun. If I have a girl she has to be Clydia.

HorikBrun@kbin.earth · 12 pts · 226d

So, not Chalupa Batman? At least Taco didn't get to name your kid.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 225d

her last name isnt cluadia is it.

BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 226d (5 replies)

Isis was a great name, then it got ruined.

sanguinepar@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Great song too. And a pretty decent spy agency. On their day.

hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 226d

You beat me to it.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 225d

next best one, OSIRIS.

jordanlund@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 226d (1 reply)

So you had the Shazam! TV show based on the Captain Marvel comic book character...

https://youtu.be/9NLuRZ3A76U

Which spun off the Isis TV show...

https://youtu.be/FdBRLV6PGro

Which then turned into a new comic character...

hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d

And don't forget Archer.

Hermit_Lailoken@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 227d (10 replies)

I once worked with a guy named Tad. Not Todd nor Thad.

N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Tad, short for Tadalafil.

Hermit_Lailoken@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 226d

That's perfect.

jordanlund@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d

"TADA!" for short...

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

better than techno mechanius, or tau, siderael or AEX.

radix@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d (5 replies)

I also know a Tad. It's not some cringe 2000s kid, either, this guy has to be 70 or thereabouts.

Hermit_Lailoken@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Maybe it is an oldtimey name.

ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 226d (2 replies)

Short for Thaddeus, but you're right, the "Tad" spelling is apparently for the over-forty crowd. I don't personally remember seeing "Thad" before the 90s, and then it left me wondering how to pronounce it when I did.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d (1 reply)

shouldnt it be THAD and tad.

LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 225d

probably same reason "Bill" is short for "William"

LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 225d

I have a distant uncle Tad. Short for Thadeus. Dudes pushing 70 and still an absolute party animal.

N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 226d (2 replies)

Mulva.

AmidFuror@fedia.io · 3 pts · 226d

Delores

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d

🤦🏻‍♂️ Dolorous!

P1nkman@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Went to school with a guy who was baptised Davo. Not Dave, but Davo. Typical Australians to put an o at the end.

Etterra@discuss.online · 5 pts · 226d

I looked up my name, David, once and it is almost unchanged and easily recognizable in most languages - even the Welsh couldn't fuck it up beyond recognition (Dafydd). Them damn biblical names have staying power, what with all the bullshit they've contaminated the world with.

PlzGivHugs@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 226d

Xfrgolszzzxy - pronounced "Surf-goal-see", not "ex-frogs-ly"

Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 226d

myfunnyaccountname@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 226d

Donald Trump.

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 226d (6 replies)

For a boy? Sue.

Etterra@discuss.online · 6 pts · 226d (5 replies)

There's a song about that.

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 226d (4 replies)

That was the joke.

trk@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 226d (3 replies)

No but seriously Johnny Cash has quite a popular song about this exact thing

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 225d (2 replies)

I know, that was why I made the comment!

trk@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 225d (1 reply)

Just in case you haven't heard it before, it's available here:.

https://youtu.be/WOHPuY88Ry4

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 225d

For real? I don’t believe you!

banana@communick.news · 13 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Felanie

N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 226d

Lol, everyone knows it's spelled "Phelany".

Birch@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 226d (2 replies)

Peter, if your last name is Phile

gilgameth@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 226d (1 reply)

You can move to the US

essell@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 226d

Run for office as a republican

Or get ordained.

emotional_soup_88@programming.dev · 13 pts · 227d (1 reply)

There was a case in Japan. An application was handed in to name a boy akuma, which means "devil". That may sound funny or cute or whatever, but it really isn't. The application was denied.

blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 226d

Were the parents big Street Fighter fans

BreadOven@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 227d (4 replies)

+5 chaos zweihander.

KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Excellent Choice. May I interest you in an ä instead of an a? >:)

BreadOven@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 226d (2 replies)

Yes please, I was just lazy haha.

KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 225d (1 reply)

Wonderful. As part of our special offer, you will receive extra chaos.

+5 Chaös Zweihänder

BreadOven@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 223d

Many thanks.

YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 226d

Alexa

CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 12 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Almost certainly people are naming their kids Trump now.

Drusas@fedia.io · 4 pts · 226d

Oh my god, there's going to be a generation of Donnies.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 11 pts · 225d

abcdefg, or whatever musk is naming his children. anna rexxia, ellis dee, crystal methvin, and crystal methany.

i know someone named dallas, pretty much a pornstar name, and austin powers.

Rhoeri@piefed.world · 10 pts · 226d (2 replies)

I would think Meat would be a bad name for a baby.

ghost_towels@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 226d (1 reply)

My friends initials are M.E.A.T

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 226d

My nephew's initials are b.o.m.b !

FanciestPants@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 225d

Pubert has a lovely ring to it.

regdog@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 225d

Elon

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 227d (5 replies)

Fucknugget

czl@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 226d (1 reply)

The questions is the worst baby name

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 226d

Ah, sorry. In that case, Greg.

ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Fucknugget

That's more of a technical label, no? Like this is what their list looked like:

Spawn
ProcessedBabyBatter
RipenedOvum
FailedCondom
Sprog
Fucknugget

"Oh, I like that one! Let's go with that!"

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 226d

I mean, even a technical label can be a name.

But maybe that makes the worst name something like Raisin Toast or something.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

fulnecky.

squirrel@piefed.kobel.fyi · 8 pts · 227d

Phyllipph

DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 226d

Donald

JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 227d

Depends on what we're qualifying as a name, because I could say "Penis" and I think that would land pretty high on the list, relatively speaking.

slazer2au@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 227d

Maven

/s

Etterra@discuss.online · 7 pts · 226d

Karen.

lemmy_acct_id_8647@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 225d

Fuckstick the Accident

kubofhromoslav@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 226d (3 replies)

Scholastika. Real name in Slovakia. I have never ever met anyone of that name. I am still waiting for brothers Nihilizmus and Solipsizmus.

SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 225d (2 replies)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scholastica

probable reason of its existence in your language

kubofhromoslav@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 223d (1 reply)

Nice. Possible. But I like to imagine that someone woke up some morning and thought "I am going to name my child based on philosophy" 😎

SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 223d

more probably hardcore christians

HeyJoe@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 227d (3 replies)

I think for obvious reasons Adolf is up there. Although I have heard it is still a semi common name in some parts of the world.

6nk06@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 226d (1 reply)

It's not obvious because it was a popular name in France before the war.

Maestro@fedia.io · 3 pts · 226d

At least there it's spelled Adolphe IIRC

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

theres african man named adolf

Smeagol666@crazypeople.online · 7 pts · 226d

I actually worked with someone named Richard Glick.

gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 226d

"Whatsyourname"

Nutteman@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 225d (1 reply)

Braxton

n3on_Navigat0r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 225d

I always think of Braxton Hicks. Lol You named your child after uterine contractions (false labour)?!

A7thStone@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 225d

While not the worst, a friend of mine who worked an appointment desk once came home and announced "I just made appointments for three people named Unique today"

2piradians@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 225d

Perhaps not the worst, but I've had it with anything that rhymes with Aiden

rwdf@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 226d

Shartin

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 226d (3 replies)

it's a 3 way draw between Adolf Hitler, Donald Trump, and Elon Musk.

garbagebagel@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 226d (1 reply)

Adolf Mump

ExtremeUnicorn@feddit.org · 2 pts · 226d

Eldonadolf Trumskler

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d

donald drumf.

hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 225d

Elon

Una@europe.pub · 5 pts · 226d (2 replies)

Chlamydia is a cute name for girl, but unfortunately it already has meaning that is not so much cute.

starlinguk@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 226d

How about Clitoris with the emphasis on the o.

mrunicornman@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 225d

"CHLAMYDIA! YOUR DAD'S HERE!"

kbal@fedia.io · 4 pts · 226d

Omnizuckerbub

murmelade@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 226d

Grannyfanny

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 226d

doorknob if it's a girl. because, like her mother, everyone gets a turn.

solrize@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 226d
palordrolap@fedia.io · 4 pts · 226d

"Uncle Grandma"

RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 226d

Hitler

Bgugi@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 226d

Removed

johsny@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 225d

Lil’ Shit.

philipsdirk@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 225d

Jocodemus

Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 225d (1 reply)

Shithead, pronounced shi-thayd.

lengau@midwest.social · 3 pts · 225d

Colón

oozy7@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 225d

Dickson

reksas@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 226d

Lil' git

Toes@ani.social · 2 pts · 226d

Any of the biblical names, let's try to be more original and not get bullied

mech@feddit.org · 2 pts · 225d

Fey-Lea

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 224d

Bartholomew

Edit: The award for coolest baby name goes to Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

Outdated4134@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 226d

Winifred

Janx@piefed.social · 1 pts · 225d

Tobert.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d

Bastard

fiendishplan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d

Ruettiger

emirbutdumb@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 224d
[ removed ]
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 226d

Judas

Slayan@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 225d

L'or-ange

LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 226d

Bdjcjtjridmrbritignrkepdkfngkgk would be a pretty bad name for a baby