NASA scientists says astronauts should not masturbate in space

People venturing outside of our atmosphere are advised against pleasuring themselves in zero gravity.

The reason? Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.

Seems all they have to do is invent some kind of nutsack.

I think the bigger problem is the female astronauts slonking around the cabin crotch-first

“Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man on the same session… it finds its way,” Smyth replied.

Not buying it at all... I'm not saying it's impossible but the odds must be astronomical (no pun intended) just for one pregnancy... not even in a million years. Life finds a way, I know, but come on!

scientists says

This is not a serious publication.

if you nut in space will it push you backwards

The quote has been misattributed: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/masturbation-in-space-nasa-warning/

It's a valid emergency propulsion method and I'm sick of being told it's not.

One day I'm gonna save a space station, that will show them.

it's highly unlikely, fluids stick together and make drops in the air which you can easily see and avoid. and also, come on, women getting accidentally impregnated by sperm floating through the air is even less likely that women getting accidentally impregnated by sperm swimming in the water of the public swimming pool ...

Great... Another job I'm not qualified for

This website is complete junk.

That reads as "male astronauts should not mastrubate in space". So it's absolutely fine for a female astronaut to rub one out. It's not like she's going to be ejecting eggs all over the place. Think of THAT OnlyFans.

Oh cum on, it's going to be really hard to handle that. Mind you, I'd be more concerned about the stray 'liquid' getting into machinery and shorting something, rather than accidentally impregnating three women at a time.

Fortunately we don't have to worry about this yet as "This article was originally published on 23 July 20222".

Wasn't that a joke from some comedian?

I know this is science memes, but this is just straight up bullshit repackaged with a clickbait title

I thought you were dead, but nice try, Kellogg

Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.

New fetish unlocked

Well everything needs to be studied conclusively but wow.

NASA scientists says-

Shouldn't it be "NASA scientist says-" or "NASA scientists say-"

I'm dyslexic and not native English speaker so I'm not sure. But it sounds weird when I say it in my head.

Than about the other thing: the subject. Doctors say it's necessary to ejaculated at least once a week to lower the chance of prostate cancer. Also, not doing anything about being horny is fucked up. I'm wearing a catheter for 4 weeks (one and half weeks to go) and it sucks so bad. Every woman I see makes me horny now, whenever I see something sexy like a bikini in a commercial or 2 people kissing during a show, I get a woodie, which hurts because I had surgery on my eurethra. Every night, the entire night, I have a woodie. I know, because the pain it causes keeps me awake. The longer the horniness is cropped up, the worse it gets. I know astronauts didn't have surgery down there, but not jurking off makes many men bombs of cropped up horniness. It can also affect concentration and performance of tasks. Men need their relief. As do women.

So, NASA scientists, why don't you invent a seed killing, particle capturing jerkoff sock for astronauts. It sounds stupid but it's oh so important.

Edit: about the Grammer, I was right.

Also, what a slop website.

We might soon have a drug that stops sperm production. That would be welcome news for space gooners.

Edit: I just wanted to say "space gooner".

I'm not looking to have a baby, but I gotta admit that if I were an astronaut and the one-in-a-million chance of getting impregnated by floating sperm happened, that'd be incredible. I'd have the first baby conceived in space! What a cool story to have in a family's lore.

Of course, that's provided it survives the rest of the trip.

Lol. Chances for accidentally short circuit something with stray fluid are much much higher than creating a new human this way.

when you nut, it push you backwards

The female astronauts shouldn't have dressed that way /s

I wanna see the cumball formed by ejaculating in 0 gravity.

This is garbage

Sounds like there might be an emerging market for fleshlight shaped jizz vacuums.

By the same reasoning women should never sit on a single man's computer chair either.

I'm going to make a bet that most female astronauts are going to take hormones to stop menstruation. Which will also stop ovulation.

I mean there are other reasons why this suggested is invalid . See other comments.

But I'm also pointing out this one.

I think a female astronaut is less likely to get pregnant if everybody is allowed to rub one out when they're horny.

Good thing NASA isn't my mom.

"Life finds a way"

Fuck you, I'll shoot ropes up there!

(a spherical teaspoon of white glurp floats past)

"Wot? Wadn't me."

John, you're the only man on board..

"Don't know wot to tell ya, mate. Said it wadn't me.."

The point of thrust is offset so you'd spin around uncontrollably.

Wrong attribution to NASA aside, I think all adults know that there is much more surface tension than water in errr...the rope. Thanks Raiderkev for that awesome rundown in the comments.

There's a research grant to be had here.

Well guess you have a better excuse than “I tripped and fell in to her”

Imagine you just get a wet dream and all of the female crew gets pregnant of stray cum

false article, but fun fact!

astronauts on Mir got porn sendt up, as well as having a small supply of alcohol for special occasions.

aaand nobody got pregnant.

Thought you couldn't get it up in zero G - and even If you could, we don't actually know if the mechanisms needed to ejaculate would function in zero G.

That's an interesting confirmation that everyone on the ISS has no trousers on at all times.

NOFAPSA

huh huhuhh hhuuhhuhuh you said spunk

Jack off with a condom. Problem solved. That or make a designated jack off Suit that keeps all your fluids on one spot. A full body condom if you will. I know some here are born with one, but it wouldn't hurt to have an extra layer.

Listen.

The shit that went down with Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore with the Boeing Starliner incident was written like a NASA fanfic.

Stranded for 10 months alone on the ISS? I hope they used protection lmao

::: spoiler epilogue

"Let's just retire after all this so things aren't weird." :::

I'd feel awful for anyone that needs to masturbate in space. Zero gravity fornication has got to be the bees knees. I would hope our astronauts are so orgied-out that by the end of the day they really just don't have it in them to want to do that.

I'm not sure nofap is the only viable strategy. What about requiring vasectomy or unisex birth control?

Btw, porn in space is an unfapped market niche.

Am I missing a joke or something? "Stray fluids" aren't just forcing their way into people's vaginas.

I don't think there will be any problem if you do it with just one hand instead of two, since you'll need the other hand to hold onto something. Although they have all sorts of straps there, so the problem is completely made up.