Good on you, when I hear how much people are spending on weddings man. Over 50k is "normal" to them? We put our money to a down payment. Much better use for it.
Our venue was the porch of a friend of ours. No wedding halls or anything. Whole guest list was maybe 30 people, only friends, no family. Just small, intimate, and amazing.
I agree with you, but I'd say it's a 50/50 toss up with women. Half of them would agree with us. The other half are too busy planning a 300k wedding on a 15/hr salary. Those types sometimes care more about the ring than the partner.
I know a lot of women who would be thrilled to be proposed to with a cat.
In the past, I've also known women who would be sour that they didn't get a ring. I try not to know that type of person for long.
Those types sometimes care more about the ring than the partner.
I have heard of them, "he hasn't proposed yet so I left him" kinda thing. That guy was probably happy with things and completely unaware she expected anything to change.
I do find it odd that when I have looked at posts about it before the vast majority of weddings seem to be super expensive or super cheap. Very little in the middle. Like 3 digits going to a pub for food or 5+ getting fucking everything.
We were sort of in the middle? Wedding dress was a prom dress from Debenham's (70 quid), Edinburgh registry office, a few friends, 1 brother and the parentals. Afternoon tea at the Balmoral. Not cheap but not 5 figures either.
Ohh that sounds like a nice idea. Much smaller event but something nice.
Not sure how much of my family would go, they are spread across different corners of the UK. Meanwhile my partner's family is all packed into an area I can walk across.
Thinking that 50 percent of women are shallow gold diggers seems a bit high. There are plenty of men who have superficial feelings about how they want their wife to look, but it's nowhere near 50/50. Usually those gym bros and trophy wives pair up so they're not really hurting anyone normal with their expectations.
Personally, I wear a silicone ring. So does my spouse. Our rings for our wedding were a hand me down and a band with a non diamond stone. That said, it's fair to want a ring. It's fair to want the tradition, and it's fair to be comforted by the idea that your partner has been thinking about asking you to merge lives for longer than just today. A ring used to mean more when women weren't allowed their own bank accounts (actually very recently, in the scheme of things), but it's still meaningful in a society where we're taught (incorrectly) that men value non commitment, and don't want to get "chained" to a "nagging wife."
Funnily, it's guys who make comments like you (that it's a total toss up whether any woman has an ounce of substance to her or if she's a total bimbo who only cares about money) that make women afraid that men are not going to fully commit which is why things like a big unnecessary time commitment before the proposal seems romantic and reassuring
Honestly, propose to me with a new Akrapovic Slip-On exhaust for my Hornet 750 and a small ceremony near the water in the country with a moto camping trip as the honeymoon and I'd be in biker girl heaven.
Could get away with the whole shebang for under $10k
To be fair, that exhaust probably costs as much as most wedding rings anyway lol.
I agree, but also, if you can't afford a cheap ass ring, you probably can't afford a pet. It doesn't need to be something fancy. If you care about that tradition (not implying the person in the image does), you can get rings pretty cheap if you don't need the whole diamond thing, and even cheaper if you're willing to buy second-hand.
Surely a second hand wedding ring must be cursed or something right? Why was it available in the first place? Did they die? Get divorced? Lose their hands and or fingers in some fetish play gone horribly wrong?
Better to just avoid the whole situation and get a cat.
Carbon is the 4th most abundant element in the galaxy. Silicon is twice as rare, so maybe spend 6 month’s salary on a quartz ring instead? Either that, or save up for a down payment on a house. Nah, who needs a place to live when you can have a hunk of mineral, right?
How much for the bridge? I would need a guarantee though that it's actually used and not just buolilt on flat land in the middle of nowhere! I am no fool after all.
They really aren't, De Beers just had a cartel on the diamond industry and artificially restricted the supply to drive up prices. They have massive deep storage vaults filled with gem quality diamonds just so it can maintain pricing.
Yeah I'm not that far into marriage and I swear someday I'll get around to getting a nice ring, but I currently wear a silicone one and my wife wears an heirloom ring from her family.
That he can't afford it is a stupid assumption imo, this looks like a deliberate choice. Being responsible for raising and taking care of a kitten together is a much bigger commitment than wearing a ring.
Meh, it's all fake af probably but the initial post says he was couldn't afford a ring so if we're going with it then yeah he is poor in this hypothetical.
And every cost also multiplies by 400% if you put the word “wedding” in front of it.
In some cases, you can get around that by just not mentioning the whole 'wedding' thing.
And the ring is one of those cases. Just go to the jewelry store, pick one out, and never mention what it's for. No reason for any price surcharges -- a ring is a ring.
In other cases, though, you really shouldn't take such shortcuts. That is, if you're particular about how you want your wedding to go.
Take the florist for example. For a regular (regular price) order, if you've ordered 100 yellow roses for the table settings, but they're out of yellow roses, they'll just substitute in 100 white roses instead and call it a day.
But if you're particular about 'your special day' being perfect and you must have the yellow roses, that's when the florist needs to know that it's for a wedding, specifically. And no matter what happens, they'll do their damnedest to make sure you get the yellow roses you ordered, no substitutions. And that extra mile of effort is what the 400% price surcharge is for.
In other cases, though, you really shouldn’t take such shortcuts. That is, if you’re particular about how you want your wedding to go.
Photographers is the classic example of where you don't want to cut corners. Even if you cheap out on rings, you can always buy different rings later on. You only get one day to get the photos you want.
Oof, I'm glad we went to a local silversmith and had her make some basic, silver bands. She was great and probably didn't realize we wanted them for our marriage.
I can never tell when someone is just arguing for the thrill of it or if they're genuine...
As someone who's had five dogs and three cats + been married, divorced, and remarried pets cost more just in terms of money. I bought real wedding bands & engagement rings from a proper jeweler for about $1,500 USD per ring. On the other hand I spent between $1500-3000 in vet bills alone for almost every pet I've adopted just in the first year; not to mention the toys, food, etc that comes along.
I suspect you're gonna say "oh, well some people spend tens of thousands on wedding bands" which is true, but those are also the types of people who spend five-figures on purebred pets and doesn't apply to the average experiece.
Wow, either your pets have been extremely unlucky, or you live somewhere VERY expensive. Considering those are dollars, I can guess it's a probably at least a bit of the second.
My Dutch vet has a "kitten package" which is 550 euros for spay/neuter, first year of (three rounds of?) vaccines and one seperate checkup. I probably spend something like 500 euros on food/grit per cat. Maybe a bit less, it's cheaper if you have two. That doesn't include complications of course, or food/toys.
On the other hand, my wedding ring doesn't exist because neither of us like rings, so it's never going to beat that.
Go to Amazon and search for "Cubic Zirconia ring". Find one you like and order a pair in the appropriate sizes. If you want something less traditional, drop this cubic zirconia part if the search.
That can easily get you a pair if wedding rings for less money than I spend every year testing my cats' poop.
Why would it matter if you can't afford jewelry to get married? If this were at a time where the husband is expected to be the sole earner, that could be a problem. But this is 2026. He's working, she's working, and getting married will not change that.
If anything, his and her individual financial burden will decrease by getting married by combining their finances and sharing bills, if they aren't spending stupid money on diamond rings, big weddings, exotic honeymoons, etc. They'll share a home, utilities, online subscriptions, etc. That will save them both money. If they can afford to live individually without luxuries, they can more easily afford to live together, maybe with the occasional luxury.
Marriage is simultaneously promoted because it saves money due to sharing expenses and often (but not always) tax benefits, but also people don't have enough money to get married. Wut?
The ring and wedding itself might be expensive, but they are also optional.
My father took my mother with to pick out her ring. She insisted on a smaller diamond. He wanted to buy her a larger rock, could afford it, but my mama was thinking about running a household. As newlyweds, they added a room to the house, bought a brand new washer/dryer set and paid off a car.
I saw that when i was like eight years old and apparently you're the only other person in the world who saw it because nobody acts like anything on the internet could ever be fake
Yeah but also there's the "nothing ever happens" crowd and they're equally as annoying.
I think in this case it's a bit irrelevant anyway, the financial situation is irrelevant but clearly he is proposing in clearly he does have a kitten everything else is immaterial really.
It was the only cartoon that was on the minute I got back from school. With 4 channels available it was this, Bargain Hunters, some soap opera or the news.
Arthur was not very funny or particularly interesting, but it sure beat out the alternatives.
The theme tune has been stuck in my head for 30 years...
And likely a treasure trove of memories that both celebrate their cat and symbolize their relationship once they deal with the worst of their grief and can enjoy the positive feelings again.
At least in the US the marriage contract gives a massive ton of legal access to shared things, discounts, medical decisions, and a bunch of other stuff. You can kind of come close by spending a bunch of money on legal documentation, but still not exactly the same.
If a man tried to propose to me with a kitten I think my brain would short out from joy at getting a kitten and I wouldn't hear another word out of his mouth. I'd totally miss the actual proposal and just be delighted at the kitten.
I got my first cat when he was a kitten and the moment I laid eyes on him my heart melted and my brain turned to scrambled eggs and 10 years later I still have the exact same reaction every single time I look at him.
A little data point on the whole marriage thing... I and my life partner have been together for 20 y, will be 21 in September. We never got married and we don't have any rings. I keep hearing that a lot of marriages these days don't last this long.
We do informally call each other "my wife", but still, no formal marriage was ever done.
The only reason marriages lasted longer back in the day was because women were essentially indirectly forced to be with men. The whole bank account thing in the US is a really good example of how screwed women were. There were a lot of very long marriages that were deeply unhappy.
Nowadays, women get at least some amount of freedom to choose their partners and hundreds/thousands of years of men not having to actually be good people has meant that many of us are lonely and blame the women for having some standards. Good communication and mutual respect go a long way and those are the marriages that last these days.
I really hate those pictures that just show some randoms with a sob story. I always feel that they are totally fake.
(and if this is true: You can get cheap wedding rings. You do not have to pay thousands of money for them. You can get a cheap ring and that does work, too. Feel free to propose to the human you love even if you can't afford some expensive ring)
respect to whoever censored the handles and not driving eternal hate to Julie every time this meme gets reposted. Also I didnt realise proposing with a cat was an option this is getting added to my proposal consideration
Shes crass but Julie knows her priorities, the woman in the picture knows hers too I'd hope. Or maybe both are gullible or irresponsible, who can say. Cats are super neat but (ethical) jewellery is neat too. Marriage isnt for everyone but it's nice to think of the people it brings happiness to.
While a cat will cost more on the long term, proposing with a kitten seems like it would be nigh impossible to turn down. Who says no to a kitten? I don't believe it has happened in recorded history.
There are always cats available to adopt and way too many end up being put down when they aren't eventually adopted. As a result, most shelters charge as little as they can get away with while remaining solvent and regularly have discounts on adoption fees when they are getting too full.
This is less of an issue for young kittens, but there are still always kittens available, especially in spring/early summer ('kitten season").
Edit: It just occurred to me that you're probably thinking about buying a kitten from a breeder, which can indeed be expensive. Almost no one does that. They adopt a cat or get adopted by them.
I think they're thinking more about properly caring for the cat. Wherever you get them, you still have costs for spaying, vaccination, food, toys, and you need to be prepared for medical emergencies. Over their whole life, a cat will cost much more than a wedding ring. Not considering that cost because the kitten is "free" is just plainly irresponsible.
I spend $2,000 a year just on one of my cat's prescription food, they're expensive af even if you find them for free it's hundreds of dollars in vaccines and stuff for the initial vet visit.
There are always cats available to adopt and way too many end up being put down when they aren’t eventually adopted.
Not for cute little young kittens, though.
Kittens are always in higher demand than adult cats. You can often (but not always!) find them available for 'adoption', but those 'adoptions' often come with hefty 'adoption fees' that basically amount to a sale anyway ... especially for young kittens, again because of the higher demand.
Sometimes those 'adoption fees' are justified because it's a way the shelter funds food and medical care for that kitten and other animals in their care. Paying a $50 adoption fee for a kitten means the shelter has $50 to spend on taking care of the next animal in need. Not just food and shelter, but also vaccinations and spay/neuter operations. Other times, though, it's just a more morally acceptable way of selling animals ... especially used on platforms that ban sale of animals but allow adoptions with 'adoption fees' -- tons of that on Craigslist, where you're not allowed to sell pets, but you are allowed to list pets for adoption, including whatever 'adoption fee' you want to ask for.
Now i‘m not sure about cats, but for dogs i’ve seen them cost a lot, even in the first year, and even if you don’t consider adoption. between taxes, health insurance, and equipment you gotta get, you can spend a lot of money very quickly.
ofc you can also go with the cheapest options, but then sth stupid happens and your dog has a 4k trip to the vet in year two, and insurance won’t cover shit.
tldr: I’ve seen dogs get very expensive very quickly.
Julie's right though, marriage is a contract a financial commitment. If you don't have much money there's no point in getting the government involved in your lifelong partnership. You can have a wedding and all that if you want for cultural reasons, but if you're submitting that paperwork to the government it's just a waste if you're poor. Hell, im middle class and we still aren't getting married because our taxes would go up, so yeah i dont need a government contract telling me i have to stay with my partner or something.
Honest question, where are you that taxes go up if you get married? In most places I know, things get more tax efficient when you're married. You can typically transfer assets (or debts) between each other without incuring the taxes you would if you weren't married, and you can make more efficient use of tax free allowances.
Taxes can go up in certain circumstances in the U.S. Examples would be things where certain deductions are not doubled for married couples, or if a single person could itemize but then uses the standard deduction if married.
These situations generally won't apply to poor people though.
How does nobody get this? The commenter isn’t saying “proposing without jewlery is wild” she’s saying “two people so broke they are making commitments to each other when they can’t even afford to spend some money on a simple tradition that’s been around for generations.” It’s the not being able to afford it part she is referring to not the jewelry itself
Edit: obviously yall are idiots and someone else can explain it better than me if they want
So in her opinion poor people shouldn't get married or have relationships? That's some rather odd gatekeeping.
If we ignore the useless traditions around marriage and won't feed this overpriced industry. It's completely possible to get married rather cheaply and it will not effect the marriage.
I'm fairly sure that this particular marriage will last longer and be much better than many of the ones that spend completely insane amounts or even worse go into dept to get married.
i found a stunning ring on etsy that only cost 400 (the most i can spare for now)..there are options, and diamonds are overrated and i dont trust the "ethical sources" claims that big jewellers give
Only costing and triple digit numbers don't go together in the same sentence.
Marriage is just a legally binding contract, there's nothing special about it. We don't spend significant amounts of money when singing a NDA or employment contract or even just clicking "agree" in the terms and conditions contract.
The generous take might be that they're just being realistic and blunt about marriage: historically and even in many modern social contexts, marriage is more an expression of resource security/stability than an expression of love.
It's not how we like to talk about marriage--the motivations, values, and ideals that make marriage meaningful... But sociologically, security/stability typically plays a pretty big role.
Poor people can do whatever they want the point is if you can’t take care of yourself then your can’t take care of your partner and you shouldn’t promise anyone shit until you can afford to keep yourself alive after spending some money on jewelry
170 Comments
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 206 pts · 64d
the jewelry is the least important thing about being married.
scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech · 67 pts · 64d
I think my spouse and I spent... $80 total on our rings. Seemed like a waste of money to both of us.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 64d
That was us. Our wedding bands were about that all in, and I got their engagement ring for about $125.
I think everything we did for our wedding, rings included, was around $1500. The majority of that was booze.
scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech · 12 pts · 64d
Good on you, when I hear how much people are spending on weddings man. Over 50k is "normal" to them? We put our money to a down payment. Much better use for it.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 64d
Our venue was the porch of a friend of ours. No wedding halls or anything. Whole guest list was maybe 30 people, only friends, no family. Just small, intimate, and amazing.
scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech · 4 pts · 64d
Sounds wonderful!
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 34 pts · 64d
We didn't do rings. I worked in a chemistry lab, husband has a skin issue and wearing a ring would probably mean nonstop doctor visits.
So we just didn't have rings. It's really very simple.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 14 pts · 64d
I just really hate the feeling of wearing rings.
If I was ever to get married (I won't), then I wouldn't have a ring.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 64d
I agree with you, but I'd say it's a 50/50 toss up with women. Half of them would agree with us. The other half are too busy planning a 300k wedding on a 15/hr salary. Those types sometimes care more about the ring than the partner.
I know a lot of women who would be thrilled to be proposed to with a cat.
In the past, I've also known women who would be sour that they didn't get a ring. I try not to know that type of person for long.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 64d
I have heard of them, "he hasn't proposed yet so I left him" kinda thing. That guy was probably happy with things and completely unaware she expected anything to change.
I do find it odd that when I have looked at posts about it before the vast majority of weddings seem to be super expensive or super cheap. Very little in the middle. Like 3 digits going to a pub for food or 5+ getting fucking everything.
starlinguk@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 64d
We were sort of in the middle? Wedding dress was a prom dress from Debenham's (70 quid), Edinburgh registry office, a few friends, 1 brother and the parentals. Afternoon tea at the Balmoral. Not cheap but not 5 figures either.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 64d
Ohh that sounds like a nice idea. Much smaller event but something nice.
Not sure how much of my family would go, they are spread across different corners of the UK. Meanwhile my partner's family is all packed into an area I can walk across.
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 3 pts · 64d
We had a reasonably priced wedding and then went to Scotland in our honeymoon. One of the best trips I've ever had.
ChexMax@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 64d
Thinking that 50 percent of women are shallow gold diggers seems a bit high. There are plenty of men who have superficial feelings about how they want their wife to look, but it's nowhere near 50/50. Usually those gym bros and trophy wives pair up so they're not really hurting anyone normal with their expectations.
Personally, I wear a silicone ring. So does my spouse. Our rings for our wedding were a hand me down and a band with a non diamond stone. That said, it's fair to want a ring. It's fair to want the tradition, and it's fair to be comforted by the idea that your partner has been thinking about asking you to merge lives for longer than just today. A ring used to mean more when women weren't allowed their own bank accounts (actually very recently, in the scheme of things), but it's still meaningful in a society where we're taught (incorrectly) that men value non commitment, and don't want to get "chained" to a "nagging wife."
Funnily, it's guys who make comments like you (that it's a total toss up whether any woman has an ounce of substance to her or if she's a total bimbo who only cares about money) that make women afraid that men are not going to fully commit which is why things like a big unnecessary time commitment before the proposal seems romantic and reassuring
qaeta@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 64d
Honestly, propose to me with a new Akrapovic Slip-On exhaust for my Hornet 750 and a small ceremony near the water in the country with a moto camping trip as the honeymoon and I'd be in biker girl heaven.
Could get away with the whole shebang for under $10k
To be fair, that exhaust probably costs as much as most wedding rings anyway lol.
wookiepedia@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 64d
I see that you have impeccable taste.
qaeta@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 63d
Bike go vroom, makes the happy brain chemicals :)
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 63d
men are like that more than women
Cethin@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 64d
I agree, but also, if you can't afford a cheap ass ring, you probably can't afford a pet. It doesn't need to be something fancy. If you care about that tradition (not implying the person in the image does), you can get rings pretty cheap if you don't need the whole diamond thing, and even cheaper if you're willing to buy second-hand.
darthelmet@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 64d
Surely a second hand wedding ring must be cursed or something right? Why was it available in the first place? Did they die? Get divorced? Lose their hands and or fingers in some fetish play gone horribly wrong?
Better to just avoid the whole situation and get a cat.
Cethin@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 64d
Some people would probably pay extra for that last one.
toynbee@piefed.social · 2 pts · 63d
This may very directly address your query.
darthelmet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 63d
Huh. I don’t think I’ve seen a band where the drummer was the singer before.
toynbee@piefed.social · 3 pts · 63d
That's very close to what my wife said when I sent the same link to her.
darthelmet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 63d
On the internet, nobody knows that you’re
a dogtheir wife. (Joking. Or am I? :P)volore@scribe.disroot.org · 95 pts · 64d
Smart. Easier to say 'no' to a shiny rock, hard to say it to a kitten.
BillibusMaximus@sh.itjust.works · 39 pts · 64d
She could say no, but she won't. Because of the implication.
HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca · 36 pts · 64d
"We both know that this cat only lives if you say yes"?
pachrist@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 64d
Nah, unless you're as dumb as a rock, no matter how shiny, this is not a question you ask unless you're 100% sure of the answer.
toynbee@piefed.social · 5 pts · 63d
The circumstances of the proposal are meant to be the surprise, not the answer.
Wilco@lemmy.zip · 89 pts · 64d
22 years of marriage here. Never bought, given, or worn a diamond in my life.
Marriage rings are a marketing campaign created to sell you a piece of carbon that is so "rare" they put them on $12 drill bit sets.
Yep. Yep. Different quality stones. Gotcha. Interested in buying a bridge by chance?
melfie@lemmy.zip · 27 pts · 64d
Carbon is the 4th most abundant element in the galaxy. Silicon is twice as rare, so maybe spend 6 month’s salary on a quartz ring instead? Either that, or save up for a down payment on a house. Nah, who needs a place to live when you can have a hunk of mineral, right?
Sirdubdee@piefed.social · 15 pts · 64d
If I’m spending 6 months salary on silicon, it better at least run Doom.
myotheraccount@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 64d
How much for the bridge? I would need a guarantee though that it's actually used and not just buolilt on flat land in the middle of nowhere! I am no fool after all.
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 64d
Silicone band to not interfere in workouts
$3
protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 64d
natural diamonds, are indeed rare, in part because of the marketing campaign driving up demand for an completely useless use of them
TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today · 25 pts · 64d
They really aren't, De Beers just had a cartel on the diamond industry and artificially restricted the supply to drive up prices. They have massive deep storage vaults filled with gem quality diamonds just so it can maintain pricing.
ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk · 16 pts · 64d
Gem quality materials are overall "rare", but among gems... diamonds are practically common.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 64d
Yeah I'm not that far into marriage and I swear someday I'll get around to getting a nice ring, but I currently wear a silicone one and my wife wears an heirloom ring from her family.
dis_da_mor@anarchist.nexus · 66 pts · 64d
noo but they didn't pay a significant amount of money to the diamond industry!!
rockerface@lemmy.cafe · 45 pts · 64d
Won't anyone think of the slave owners?
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe · 19 pts · 64d
De Beers is de upset.
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 10 pts · 64d
They'll release De Bears on him!
HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 64d
It's the capitalist tithe
CannonFodder@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 64d
It's ok, they'll pay the same in vet bills.
RunawayFixer@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 64d
That he can't afford it is a stupid assumption imo, this looks like a deliberate choice. Being responsible for raising and taking care of a kitten together is a much bigger commitment than wearing a ring.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 64d
Meh, it's all fake af probably but the initial post says he was couldn't afford a ring so if we're going with it then yeah he is poor in this hypothetical.
Pickleideas@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 64d
Guarantee you that cat will cost more in the first year than a ring from a fancy jewelry store
OpenStars@piefed.social · 44 pts · 64d
Cost? Yes.
But WORTH! Also YES!!! 🐈
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 34 pts · 64d
You severely underestimate the cost of jewelry. And every cost also multiplies by 400% if you put the word "wedding" in front of it.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 11 pts · 64d
In some cases, you can get around that by just not mentioning the whole 'wedding' thing.
And the ring is one of those cases. Just go to the jewelry store, pick one out, and never mention what it's for. No reason for any price surcharges -- a ring is a ring.
In other cases, though, you really shouldn't take such shortcuts. That is, if you're particular about how you want your wedding to go.
Take the florist for example. For a regular (regular price) order, if you've ordered 100 yellow roses for the table settings, but they're out of yellow roses, they'll just substitute in 100 white roses instead and call it a day.
But if you're particular about 'your special day' being perfect and you must have the yellow roses, that's when the florist needs to know that it's for a wedding, specifically. And no matter what happens, they'll do their damnedest to make sure you get the yellow roses you ordered, no substitutions. And that extra mile of effort is what the 400% price surcharge is for.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 64d
Photographers is the classic example of where you don't want to cut corners. Even if you cheap out on rings, you can always buy different rings later on. You only get one day to get the photos you want.
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 6 pts · 64d
Wedding kitten as well?
GreenCrunch@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 64d
Yep, the vet has a 4x charge to treat pets that are symbols of marriage
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 2 pts · 64d
Oof, I'm glad we went to a local silversmith and had her make some basic, silver bands. She was great and probably didn't realize we wanted them for our marriage.
Pickleideas@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 64d
I can never tell when someone is just arguing for the thrill of it or if they're genuine...
As someone who's had five dogs and three cats + been married, divorced, and remarried pets cost more just in terms of money. I bought real wedding bands & engagement rings from a proper jeweler for about $1,500 USD per ring. On the other hand I spent between $1500-3000 in vet bills alone for almost every pet I've adopted just in the first year; not to mention the toys, food, etc that comes along.
I suspect you're gonna say "oh, well some people spend tens of thousands on wedding bands" which is true, but those are also the types of people who spend five-figures on purebred pets and doesn't apply to the average experiece.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 64d
Wow, either your pets have been extremely unlucky, or you live somewhere VERY expensive. Considering those are dollars, I can guess it's a probably at least a bit of the second.
My Dutch vet has a "kitten package" which is 550 euros for spay/neuter, first year of (three rounds of?) vaccines and one seperate checkup. I probably spend something like 500 euros on food/grit per cat. Maybe a bit less, it's cheaper if you have two. That doesn't include complications of course, or food/toys.
On the other hand, my wedding ring doesn't exist because neither of us like rings, so it's never going to beat that.
homura1650@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 64d
Go to Amazon and search for "Cubic Zirconia ring". Find one you like and order a pair in the appropriate sizes. If you want something less traditional, drop this cubic zirconia part if the search.
That can easily get you a pair if wedding rings for less money than I spend every year testing my cats' poop.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 64d
Sure, but you can also spend 15k on a ring. On the other hand, you can also spend 15k on a kitten.
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 64d
Why would it matter if you can't afford jewelry to get married? If this were at a time where the husband is expected to be the sole earner, that could be a problem. But this is 2026. He's working, she's working, and getting married will not change that.
If anything, his and her individual financial burden will decrease by getting married by combining their finances and sharing bills, if they aren't spending stupid money on diamond rings, big weddings, exotic honeymoons, etc. They'll share a home, utilities, online subscriptions, etc. That will save them both money. If they can afford to live individually without luxuries, they can more easily afford to live together, maybe with the occasional luxury.
Stupid take.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 64d
Thank you.
Marriage is simultaneously promoted because it saves money due to sharing expenses and often (but not always) tax benefits, but also people don't have enough money to get married. Wut?
The ring and wedding itself might be expensive, but they are also optional.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 64d
My father took my mother with to pick out her ring. She insisted on a smaller diamond. He wanted to buy her a larger rock, could afford it, but my mama was thinking about running a household. As newlyweds, they added a room to the house, bought a brand new washer/dryer set and paid off a car.
starlinguk@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 64d
I hate these made up headlines.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 40 pts · 64d
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 64d
I saw that when i was like eight years old and apparently you're the only other person in the world who saw it because nobody acts like anything on the internet could ever be fake
echodot@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 64d
Yeah but also there's the "nothing ever happens" crowd and they're equally as annoying.
I think in this case it's a bit irrelevant anyway, the financial situation is irrelevant but clearly he is proposing in clearly he does have a kitten everything else is immaterial really.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 64d
He could just be giving her a car, no?
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 64d
It was the only cartoon that was on the minute I got back from school. With 4 channels available it was this, Bargain Hunters, some soap opera or the news.
Arthur was not very funny or particularly interesting, but it sure beat out the alternatives.
The theme tune has been stuck in my head for 30 years...
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 64d
Arthur was amazing even if maybe yeah Arthur himself was a mediocre character lol but the other characters are pretty much all excellent
SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 64d
"Man going to eat kitten in front of his succubus goddess wife to proof his devotion"
rumba@lemmy.zip · 34 pts · 64d
That is going to be one very very rough pet passing in 1-2 decades
GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml · 21 pts · 64d
And likely a treasure trove of memories that both celebrate their cat and symbolize their relationship once they deal with the worst of their grief and can enjoy the positive feelings again.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 64d
It's weird to fixate on the eventual death of an elderly cat when you've fully neglected to mourn all the furniture that kitten is going to massacre
Upperhand@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 64d
Could you imagine being so shallow that the only thing that's important is spending a lot of money and not having genuine love...
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 64d
It's not shallow, marriage is a government sanctioned contract. If you two have genuine love then the government sanctioned marriage doesn't matter.
Zacryon@feddit.org · 4 pts · 64d
"Marriage is a government sanctioned contract"
It can't get more romantic than that. /j
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 64d
And a ring isn't necessary for said contact.
snooggums@piefed.world · 1 pts · 64d
At least in the US the marriage contract gives a massive ton of legal access to shared things, discounts, medical decisions, and a bunch of other stuff. You can kind of come close by spending a bunch of money on legal documentation, but still not exactly the same.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 64d
Fuck all that noise man, not interested at all
DupaCycki@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 63d
Normalize not buying useless $2000 USD pieces of junk that starved children in Congo had to dig with bare hands, just to marry your soul mate.
ohshit604@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 63d
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJEbyWT7gIg&t=10
invidious link
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social · 26 pts · 64d
Grab her with the pussy.
lonefighter@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 64d
If a man tried to propose to me with a kitten I think my brain would short out from joy at getting a kitten and I wouldn't hear another word out of his mouth. I'd totally miss the actual proposal and just be delighted at the kitten.
I got my first cat when he was a kitten and the moment I laid eyes on him my heart melted and my brain turned to scrambled eggs and 10 years later I still have the exact same reaction every single time I look at him.
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 5 pts · 64d
"And this is how I met your father."
qaeta@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 64d
Can confirm. Am struck by egg brain every time I see my little guy Wulfgar. So. Freakin'. Cute.
lonefighter@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 64d
Wulfgar is an amazing name for a cat.
qaeta@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 63d
He, uh, lived up to his namesake as a kitten lol. Feisty AF.
LovableSidekick@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 64d
At first glance I honestly thought she looked horrified because he was interrupting her on the toilet.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 64d
"Nice beaver, here's a cat."
ravelin@slrpnk.net · 20 pts · 64d
Too bad they have to divorce when the cat dies.
phx@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 64d
Just put the cat in a box with a radioactive substances. Scroedinger's marriage.
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 64d
Schrodingers taxes…
Marital status: both
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 63d
marital status: yes
Canconda@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 64d
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2026/04/27/japan/science-health/cat-kidney-disease-treatment/
nickiwest@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 64d
That is good news. I've lost two cats (ages 16 and 18) to kidney disease, so I'm glad to hear there's some progress in that area.
Maybe this couple could have a happy marriage for 25 or 30 years if this new treatment can keep their kitten's kidneys working.
SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 63d
A ring is cheaper than vet bills.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 62d
Yeah, I’d agree. I have 3, and they’re little love bugs. But man, the vet bills can be a hard pill.
mnfalconia_a2gc@retrolemmy.com · 19 pts · 64d
A little data point on the whole marriage thing... I and my life partner have been together for 20 y, will be 21 in September. We never got married and we don't have any rings. I keep hearing that a lot of marriages these days don't last this long.
We do informally call each other "my wife", but still, no formal marriage was ever done.
Soup@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 64d
The only reason marriages lasted longer back in the day was because women were essentially indirectly forced to be with men. The whole bank account thing in the US is a really good example of how screwed women were. There were a lot of very long marriages that were deeply unhappy.
Nowadays, women get at least some amount of freedom to choose their partners and hundreds/thousands of years of men not having to actually be good people has meant that many of us are lonely and blame the women for having some standards. Good communication and mutual respect go a long way and those are the marriages that last these days.
jestho@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 63d
* my partner and I
JensSpahnpasta@feddit.org · 17 pts · 64d
I really hate those pictures that just show some randoms with a sob story. I always feel that they are totally fake.
(and if this is true: You can get cheap wedding rings. You do not have to pay thousands of money for them. You can get a cheap ring and that does work, too. Feel free to propose to the human you love even if you can't afford some expensive ring)
Zacryon@feddit.org · 23 pts · 64d
(You also do not need a ring at all.)
ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 64d
Well the tagline is bullshit editorialising, yeah.
Treczoks@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 63d
Especially as diamond rings are costly to purchase, but have relatively low resale value.
Buying her a diamond ring only shows you have money to burn.
Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 63d
I bought my wife's engagement and wedding ring at a pawn shop. Fuck the superstitious bullshit. Probably saved $5k
MathiasTCK@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 63d
Buy resold maybe?
andyburke@fedia.io · 15 pts · 64d
what happens when the cat dies, contractually?
Leviathan@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 64d
Ritual suicide.
MousePotatoDoesStuff@piefed.social · 6 pts · 64d
Same as when you lose a wedding ring. Get (in this case, adopt) a new one.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 64d
The wife or the cat?
volore@scribe.disroot.org · 5 pts · 64d
yes
qaeta@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 64d
happy polyamory noises
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 3 pts · 64d
You get a new, similar-looking cat and pretend nothing has changed.
MousePotatoDoesStuff@piefed.social · 15 pts · 64d
Apparently the idea of poor people getting married is too woke for Julie :P
Auth@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 64d
respect to whoever censored the handles and not driving eternal hate to Julie every time this meme gets reposted. Also I didnt realise proposing with a cat was an option this is getting added to my proposal consideration
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 64d
Cat is gonna cost more in the long run.
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 64d
The cat is also going to be worth more and give you more in the long run. 😻
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 64d
Harder to pawn off in 20 years.
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 63d
Also true.
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 63d
❌ proposing by giving the person a ring
❌ proposing by giving the person a pet
✅ proposing to be the person's pet
:3 (lore accurate :3 users)
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 63d
Don't let your dreams be dreams.
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 63d
i need a suitable person tho
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 62d
Any bowls a goal.
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 61d
doggy bowl with my name on it? :3
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe · 11 pts · 64d
I think she said “yes.” And Julie sucks.
Asidonhopo@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 64d
Shes crass but Julie knows her priorities, the woman in the picture knows hers too I'd hope. Or maybe both are gullible or irresponsible, who can say. Cats are super neat but (ethical) jewellery is neat too. Marriage isnt for everyone but it's nice to think of the people it brings happiness to.
StillAlive@piefed.world · 0 pts · 64d
What's Julie's number?
CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 64d
While a cat will cost more on the long term, proposing with a kitten seems like it would be nigh impossible to turn down. Who says no to a kitten? I don't believe it has happened in recorded history.
homes@piefed.world · 7 pts · 64d
I would totally marry that kitten
toebert@piefed.social · 2 pts · 64d
Do they have to get divorced when the kitten dies (of old age obviously)?
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 64d
and the kitten is going to end up in a shelter or abandoned once they break up.
abc@suppo.fi · 2 pts · 64d
A cat can easily cost as much as a pretty ok wedding ring.
Drusas@fedia.io · 4 pts · 64d
You're kidding, right?
There are always cats available to adopt and way too many end up being put down when they aren't eventually adopted. As a result, most shelters charge as little as they can get away with while remaining solvent and regularly have discounts on adoption fees when they are getting too full.
This is less of an issue for young kittens, but there are still always kittens available, especially in spring/early summer ('kitten season").
Edit: It just occurred to me that you're probably thinking about buying a kitten from a breeder, which can indeed be expensive. Almost no one does that. They adopt a cat or get adopted by them.
MML@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 64d
I mean food, litter, vet bills, scratching posts, cat trees, the bills add up.
Drusas@fedia.io · 2 pts · 63d
Those are not upfront costs like a wedding ring is.
python@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 64d
I think they're thinking more about properly caring for the cat. Wherever you get them, you still have costs for spaying, vaccination, food, toys, and you need to be prepared for medical emergencies. Over their whole life, a cat will cost much more than a wedding ring. Not considering that cost because the kitten is "free" is just plainly irresponsible.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 64d
I spend $2,000 a year just on one of my cat's prescription food, they're expensive af even if you find them for free it's hundreds of dollars in vaccines and stuff for the initial vet visit.
Drusas@fedia.io · 1 pts · 63d
Those are not upfront costs like a wedding ring is.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 63d
Ok
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 2 pts · 64d
Not for cute little young kittens, though.
Kittens are always in higher demand than adult cats. You can often (but not always!) find them available for 'adoption', but those 'adoptions' often come with hefty 'adoption fees' that basically amount to a sale anyway ... especially for young kittens, again because of the higher demand.
Sometimes those 'adoption fees' are justified because it's a way the shelter funds food and medical care for that kitten and other animals in their care. Paying a $50 adoption fee for a kitten means the shelter has $50 to spend on taking care of the next animal in need. Not just food and shelter, but also vaccinations and spay/neuter operations. Other times, though, it's just a more morally acceptable way of selling animals ... especially used on platforms that ban sale of animals but allow adoptions with 'adoption fees' -- tons of that on Craigslist, where you're not allowed to sell pets, but you are allowed to list pets for adoption, including whatever 'adoption fee' you want to ask for.
TerHu@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 64d
Now i‘m not sure about cats, but for dogs i’ve seen them cost a lot, even in the first year, and even if you don’t consider adoption. between taxes, health insurance, and equipment you gotta get, you can spend a lot of money very quickly. ofc you can also go with the cheapest options, but then sth stupid happens and your dog has a 4k trip to the vet in year two, and insurance won’t cover shit.
tldr: I’ve seen dogs get very expensive very quickly.
velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 64d
It's hilarious that you completely spaced the ongoing costs of having a pet here.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 63d
That look on her face is "I thought you were my gay bestie, what?"
Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 63d
If he can't afford a $200 ring, how can he afford to take care of a cat??
flop_leash_973@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 64d
This is just the movie Big Daddy but with a cat instead of an orphan.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 64d
is a wild.
Maroon@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 63d
EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 63d
Why wouldn't they use the toad as the mascot? Instead they use a cat, an animal that has caused the extinction of multiple species?
No no none of this adds up at all.
pulsey@feddit.org · 1 pts · 63d
Maybe they are actually against conservation and all for extinction.
realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip · -3 pts · 64d
The average woman these days is even more of a wild
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · -6 pts · 63d
Okay but why would he want to marry her? Maybe she has a trust fund or disability benefits he wants to mooch off.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · -7 pts · 64d
Julie's right though, marriage is a contract a financial commitment. If you don't have much money there's no point in getting the government involved in your lifelong partnership. You can have a wedding and all that if you want for cultural reasons, but if you're submitting that paperwork to the government it's just a waste if you're poor. Hell, im middle class and we still aren't getting married because our taxes would go up, so yeah i dont need a government contract telling me i have to stay with my partner or something.
notabot@piefed.social · 8 pts · 64d
Honest question, where are you that taxes go up if you get married? In most places I know, things get more tax efficient when you're married. You can typically transfer assets (or debts) between each other without incuring the taxes you would if you weren't married, and you can make more efficient use of tax free allowances.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 64d
Taxes can go up in certain circumstances in the U.S. Examples would be things where certain deductions are not doubled for married couples, or if a single person could itemize but then uses the standard deduction if married.
These situations generally won't apply to poor people though.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · -1 pts · 64d
We happen to make basically the same amount of money so the married tax brackets hurt us rather than help.
Bo7a@piefed.ca · 3 pts · 64d
No.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 64d
None of this is correct.
biggeoff@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 64d
How do taxes work in your country? I've not heard of a tax burden increasing before due to marriage
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · -12 pts · 64d
How does nobody get this? The commenter isn’t saying “proposing without jewlery is wild” she’s saying “two people so broke they are making commitments to each other when they can’t even afford to spend some money on a simple tradition that’s been around for generations.” It’s the not being able to afford it part she is referring to not the jewelry itself
Edit: obviously yall are idiots and someone else can explain it better than me if they want
OR3X@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 64d
I encourage you to look at the price of engagement rings and wedding bands, homie.
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 9 pts · 64d
So in her opinion poor people shouldn't get married or have relationships? That's some rather odd gatekeeping.
If we ignore the useless traditions around marriage and won't feed this overpriced industry. It's completely possible to get married rather cheaply and it will not effect the marriage.
I'm fairly sure that this particular marriage will last longer and be much better than many of the ones that spend completely insane amounts or even worse go into dept to get married.
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 64d
i found a stunning ring on etsy that only cost 400 (the most i can spare for now)..there are options, and diamonds are overrated and i dont trust the "ethical sources" claims that big jewellers give
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 1 pts · 64d
Only costing and triple digit numbers don't go together in the same sentence.
Marriage is just a legally binding contract, there's nothing special about it. We don't spend significant amounts of money when singing a NDA or employment contract or even just clicking "agree" in the terms and conditions contract.
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 64d
it is special to my partner so i am going to make it special for her
Soleos@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 64d
The generous take might be that they're just being realistic and blunt about marriage: historically and even in many modern social contexts, marriage is more an expression of resource security/stability than an expression of love.
It's not how we like to talk about marriage--the motivations, values, and ideals that make marriage meaningful... But sociologically, security/stability typically plays a pretty big role.
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 64d
Who says they're broke
LePoisson@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 64d
I get what you're saying but also, shouldn't poor people be allowed to get married if they want?
It's really inexpensive to get the paperwork done at the courthouse.
Like, why try to gatekeep love behind physical wealth?
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 64d
Poor people can do whatever they want the point is if you can’t take care of yourself then your can’t take care of your partner and you shouldn’t promise anyone shit until you can afford to keep yourself alive after spending some money on jewelry
LePoisson@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 64d
I think you're taking a huge leap on what in all likelihood is some made up shit that not buying a ring = not able to care for one another.
Anyways, I hope your day is going and goes well. Take care.
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 64d
We do get this, but we have differing opinions.
It's a stupid and pointless tradition impulsed by a marketing agency.
Jax@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 64d
What a stupid take.