No time to explain! Give me a single sentence to transmit to your past self 5 years ago! Hurry!

80 points · 102 comments · view on lemmy.world

102 Comments

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 73 pts · 2d (1 reply)

Start planning a good sentence to send to yourself today and have it ready 5 years from now.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 8h

Reminds me of a scene from TimeSplitters Future Perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss02_tG4N_Q&t=1821

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 39 pts · 2d (9 replies)

"The Lotto numbers for 2026-09-12 are 16 20 25 33 39 45, Superzahl 0."

Sounds materialistic, but I haven't found a solution for any of the issues I had 5 years ago, I didn't make any major wrong decisions since then, and stuff like "buy RAM and GPUs" is irrelevant after winning millions of eurobucks.

HerrVorragend@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2d (1 reply)

"The winning numbers for Friday, Sep17, 2021 are 14 17 20 27 32 EZ 3 7"

Warum lange warten?

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 15 pts · 2d

Look at Herr "I have smart ideas when put on the spot" over here.

lauha@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2d (2 replies)

Plot twist, your past self receives the sentence verbally and they have nothing to write it down to.

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 5 pts · 2d

The sequence of the numbers is not important and it's not all or nothing (5 correct numbers would still net a decent amount of money), so there's a chance that I'd recall enough to make use of it anyway. But it's a good point, this kind of thing hinges on the specifics of how the sentence is transmitted much more than something like "take out fire insurance" or "don't trust X".

Redfox8@mander.xyz · 4 pts · 1d

...receives message whilst scuba diving...spits out regulator in frustration...drowns. Never gets to send message from the future so doesn't drown.

Timeline broken, existence ends except for an endless five-year loop.

Woops!

otter@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 2d

If we had more time, then you could have sent back the lotto numbers from 5 years ago

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d

Winning numbers are public record. Don't make yourself wait the full five years!

Manjushri@piefed.social · 5 pts · 1d

I had a similar thought, but I would send, "The winning Powerball numbers for November 5, 2022 will be 28 45 53 56 69, with a power ball of 20."

Since the Nov. 7, 2022 jackpot was $2.04 billion dollars, I would just send the winning numbers for the previous drawing that no one won. No reason to go small when I could take a huge jackpot with nearly a billion dollar lump sum payout.

lauha@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2d
[ removed ]
Godort@lemmy.ca · 31 pts · 2d (1 reply)

Force mom to go see a doctor.

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 15 pts · 2d

<3 same message, friend. Same message. :(

QueenMidna@lemmy.ca · 28 pts · 1d

You're trans. Divorce the alcoholic abuser and start being happy

the_q@piefed.social · 22 pts · 2d (6 replies)

Stop the house from burning down on April 18th, 2024 at 5AM.

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 2 pts · 1d (5 replies)

Sorry to hear that, do you know how it started?

the_q@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Officially bad electrical.

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 1 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Man that is scary. I've turned down some jobs to do fairly easy electrical stuff after I saw the attic had three sets of convoluted wires everywhere set up in a haphazard fashion, and not grounded. Some of the plugs had the neutral wired to the ground to fool the testers the city inspectors use to test.

I am not an electrician, didn't want to be blamed if a fire did happen from that shithole, (full of cockroaches too.) It's also against the law there, only if I was the owner and there weren't renter would it be legal to do my own work and even then in that city idk.

the_q@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1d (2 replies)

It was bad. I lost my wife, fil, 2 cats and a dog that morning.

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 3 pts · 1d

Oh my god I am so sorry to hear that. What a nightmare. I should put a dog door in my place just in case. I am so sorry for your loss, that is a worst nightmare.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 8h

Very very sorry

zeppo@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 2d

You should just break up with her while you have the chance

invertedspear@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Don’t let mom get that surgery. She is the glue that keeps us all together and we need more years of that.

lonefighter@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1d

I'm so sorry

Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2d

YOU LIKE WOMEN!

DeepDown@leminal.space · 15 pts · 1d

You have enough money to leave, do it now

tal@lemmy.today · 14 pts · 2d (4 replies)

CLS's stock price will increase by 3,860.57% over the next five years.

semisimian@startrek.website · 6 pts · 2d (3 replies)

Put as much money into your index funds and don't stop until October 13th, 2026. Then convert it all to cash.

tryagain@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 2d (2 replies)

Wait what happens on October 14?

tal@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 1d

Clearly someone from five years in Semisimian's future just gave him the inside scoop.

Buckshot@programming.dev · 1 pts · 1d

Anthropic IPO?

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Bitcoin peaks at $100k

dryfter@ani.social · 7 pts · 1d (2 replies)

I honestly thought the same thing but I’m not entirely sure it would have mattered.

BTC 6 years ago was still 10k. Yeah, you could take out a loan for a “sure thing”, but 🤷.

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

For me, it would have, but just because of the timing.

I was selling newspaper ads back then. Typically, a shitty job, but the hospital got a multi million dollar grant to use towards COVID advertising. I made a lot of commissions during that time, but now it's all gone.

some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 7h

5x return is still insane

kindnesskills@literature.cafe · 13 pts · 2d

Remember to bring your protective gear, and don't ever ride even once if you don't have it - you will suffer the consequences for years.

Or possibly: All behavioural changes (even seemingly positive ones like being more brave, assertive, active, loud and outgoing) are symptoms of something going on in your pets, so prioritise going to the vet more often when they appear - catching issues early means less damage to surrounding organs, less suffering and cheaper treatment.

RodgeGrabTheCat@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 2d

Find a new job when Frank retires. Jason, his replacement, is a fuckin idiot.

lonefighter@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Don't move across the country with him, get a divorce, your gut instincts are right, he's been cheating on you this whole time and he's about to financially ruin you.

Erusset@slrpnk.net · 8 pts · 1d

Some people just suck

SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 1d (1 reply)

You will have a lot more money, if you don’t spend it all on drugs.

AndyMFK@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1d

Yeah but you'll have a lot less drugs if you stop spending your money on it

Quazatron@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d

Dump this job, it's making you miserable.

dontpanic@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 1d

Just leave, he doesn’t love you.

Shadow@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 2d

Buy Nvidia stock.

CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d

Divorce him now!

FellowEnt@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Don't fucking marry her you idiot.

anarchy79@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

I was there five years ago, ten years ago, fifteen twenty and thirty years ago, and I said that to them. I was right. But it didn't help.

Don't beat yourself up, it takes a lot of guts to love.

farmgineer@nord.pub · 8 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Staying in Japan is a mistake. When your company cuts the rest of the staff, GTFO to Europe.

(it will be up to a future version of me to send another message about if/how that works out).

snoons@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1d

o7 gl

it_depends_man@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d (1 reply)

"Nvidia is going to be stable for longer than you think."

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 4 pts · 1d

The market can stay irrational longer than the realists can remain solvent, has never been more true.

anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 2d

Make shure you do administrative stuff well ahead of deadlines, then double and triple check you actually did it.

sicarius@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2d

When you apply for van insurance make sure you siren the names of the drivers correctly!

kazerniel@piefed.world · 6 pts · 1d

Call grandma more frequently, you have less than 3 years to chat with her :(

(I miss her)

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 6 pts · 1d

"Idk either, girl, sorry."

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1d (1 reply)

wait to sell your biomedical stocks until may 2022.

had I waited, I would have made a cool $32 million.

ryannathans@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 1d

Yeah well had I waited to sell my cool ~12000 bitcoin for more than like 30 cents each, I probably wouldn't be working my ass off right now

squirrel@cake.kobel.fyi · 5 pts · 1d

That anxiety, that depression, that feeling of never fitting in, that feeling of either boredom or overwhelm... is ADHD.

Tbh, I wish I could transmit this to my past self 30 years ago.

Eq0@literature.cafe · 5 pts · 1d

You’ll get the job, eventually, but you have to keep trying!

zxqwas@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d (1 reply)

It's me 5 years from the future, [secret I've never told anyone should prove it] buy European defense stocks before 2022.

Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 1m

I litterly, 5 years ago was thinking of doing it even with the little money i had.

Am regretting it daily. And tortuting myself almost monthly on how i could have turned 10€ into 1000€

3holly3@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Do. Not. Seek. The treasure!

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 3 pts · 1d

I thought you was a toad.

AndyMFK@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1d

Don't invite any of your family to your wedding, the sooner you sever all ties from your family, the better.

FRYD@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Take estrogen.

Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 3m

Crack that egg

Okokimup@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

Start painting immediately.

Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

You're gonna get a tractor in a year.

Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 3m

Im curiouse, what was the occasion to get a tractor?

CorrectAlias@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1d

Don't ever go bouldering again or you'll regret it for the rest of your life

XeroxCool@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

"I don't remember you" was my idea to say the last 5 years have completely changed my life, but I'd probably assume I got Alzheimers ahead of schedule. One sentence is tough.

"It worked out" feels like what if want to hear, but that ignores growing global and national issues. Might even make me lazier, believing in some grand natural path, creating a paradox.

I could send details on the job move that made life better, but I'm on the path that took me out of that job already, so why try to change it?

Are monetary moves the only thing that would work for me? Not to change my route, but give me some more padding today?

anarchy79@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

"Do drugs don't drink, bro."

I probably would have ended up drinking and doing even more drugs I think...

galacticworm@piefed.social · 3 pts · 21h

She is seeing someone else, start planning

crystalmerchant@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

Do everything you can to save the money faster to buy the house sooner

Naive@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

Live the life, stupid.

gastroglizzy@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1d

Stay home all day long, no matter what, on January 3rd, 2022.

terranoid@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 1d

"I'm going in dry"

dektep@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

stay single

GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 8h

Grow a spine and book the therapy appointment.

RecursiveParadox@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d

Shit's about to hit the fan from multiple directions and all at once. There is nothing you can do to stop it, but instead focus on how to handle it. In a more healthy way.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

"Fuck you, loser!"

sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 2d

Twenty Juan?

Whoo stoopid.

LeftReddit2@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

"Hi, how ya doing?"

snoons@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1d

Buy gamestop, study in cafes not uni. Also :3.

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1d

Don't sell your Bitcoin yet.

Landless2029@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 8h

Buy a house right now.

neidu4@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d

"It'll all work out brilliantly"

Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1d

Enjoy the time you have with your family, they won't last forever.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 8h

Start trying now, it's going to take longer than expected

DrSleepless@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

Eat the mushrooms

GraniteM@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

Move in with your aunt and uncle now, before the dementia gets any worse.

metalaco@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 5h

Buy ram and nvidia stock

TonyOstrich@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 4h

Fuck!

Ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 4h

Go to a therapist your insurance will take.

stopforgettingit@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 8h

He is not worth it. Send it back to when ever, it will always make sense.

Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 6m

"Keine Angst!"

janus2@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 6h

Don't move cities stop ignoring her red flags and go to the fucking gym

MuttMutt@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 6h

You'll survive.

Tehhund@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 4h

You're doing great, maybe start Jiu-Jitsu now because you'll really like it in 3 years. Otherwise no notes.

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 0 pts · 1d

My message is, don't bother trying to help democrats. It's a thankless and fruitless mission that ends in this.

A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 8h

give up, nothing matters and continuing isnt worth it.

Etterra@discuss.online · -1 pts · 1d

Just give up already.