Would you sell liquor to this baby?

840 points · 205 comments · view on lemmy.world

205 Comments

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 136 pts · 89d (23 replies)

As a libertarian I would advocate selling liquor to all babies who want it.

drcobaltjedi@programming.dev · 108 pts · 89d (5 replies)

Man, I miss the "As a libertarian" guy on reddit. Dude would start every comment like that before saying something insane.

tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 44 pts · 89d

Hilariously redundant.

Simon_Shitewood@lemmy.ml · 37 pts · 89d (2 replies)

Praximis_Prime_ARG iirc, the best part was that they'd include a link to a libertarian actually saying that exact thing.

drcobaltjedi@programming.dev · 23 pts · 89d

Yeah!!! That's the guy. He's used multiple accounts over the years. Dude was funny as hell.

lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 89d

Omg you guys are taking me back. Fucking loved this guy. Best bit ever

elvith@feddit.org · 15 pts · 89d

As a libertarian, I'd also still comment on Reddit.

Rusty@lemmy.ca · 22 pts · 89d (1 reply)

As a libertarian I would advocate selling liquor to all babies who can afford it.

FTFY

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 8 pts · 89d

If they want it enough they'll get a good enough job to afford it so that's redundant.

Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 89d (3 replies)

As a 19th century physician I can only agree, and suggest pairing it with a spoonful of soothing cocaine syrup for maximum efficacy.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 89d (2 replies)

Liar, you're not a 19th century quack. Mine prescribed tincture of laudanum

Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d (1 reply)

Nonsense! Can you look at how that kid's bouncing off the walls and honestly tell me that cocaine isn't a healthy and energizing remedy?

(Yeah, I was trying to think of morphine but wrote cocaine because brain = dumb)

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d

I mean they're two lines away from each other (with cannabis in the middle) for doc duckerson's miracle cough expressant, it's an easy mistake to make

Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 15 pts · 89d (1 reply)
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 11 pts · 89d

Don’t waste my fucking time, baby beer.

Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 89d

As a libertarian I would advocate selling liquor to all babies who want it

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 89d (5 replies)

As a progressive with libertarian tendencies, I would add that alcoholic babies should also have access to rehab if they want it.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d (3 replies)

should also have access to rehab if they want it. can afford it.

Ftfy what kind of libertarian did you say you were

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 88d (1 reply)

The kind that cares about individual liberty, not the "bUt WhO's GoInG tO pAy FoR iT" kind.

mattyroses@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 84d

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread

mattyroses@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 84d

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.

NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d

Don't be ridiculous. Babies can't consent to treatment!

mattyroses@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 84d

I mean, expecting libertarians to follow age of consent laws in any area is kind of foolish . . .

RagingRobot@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d

It's got what babies crave

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 85 pts · 89d (22 replies)

Objection! They believe that life starts at conception, but not that aging starts at conception! This is why people are not considered 9 months old at birth!

Conceptually, people can also be frozen at any age, which "pauses" or slows their aging (see: Captain America, Han Solo, Dave Lister)

pyre@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 89d (5 replies)

that's a good steelman. but this is why I think the better argument is Hasan's usual hypothetical about this: there's a fire in a hospital and you can only get into one of the rooms in time to save some people. do you go into NICU where you could save a couple babies or to the IVF section where you can save thousands of embryos?

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 89d (2 replies)

This hypothetical is great as it forces them to admit born babies are more important than embryos, but it doesn't prove embryos are not alive

pyre@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 89d (1 reply)

it's not about them being alive; embryos are alive, that's not even disputed. it's about whether the life is a person. if you think the babies are more important you're already conceding the embryos don't have personhood, or at least not to the degree that babies do.

either case they shouldn't have the same rights as actual people. if you think an embryo is a person then you can't choose the couple babies over so many people. or if you do it's still going to be fun hearing you try to justify it without conceding.

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 89d

Ooh yeah makes sense

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · -9 pts · 89d (1 reply)

In a fertility crisis with aging population (e.g as bad as upside down population pyramid) people might save the hundreds of embryos

Edit: I didn't notice that you said babies the first time i read that tbh. Lol.

Yes even a eugenicist would say the babies are more valuable than embryos because you can see that they're healthy, whereas with an embryo it's unproven.

Many would also prioritise them because they have reached consciousness so there is "suffering cost" at play.

Doesn't prove that embryos aren't life though, as another commenter said.

applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 28 pts · 89d

theres no fertility crisis, its an economic crisis. greedy rich people are ruining the world and making existing unaffordable so no one can afford to have babies.

EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 89d

Like I tell a friend of mine who was premature: Do you want to celebrate your birthday today or in a couple months when you should have been born?

BarrelAgedBoredom@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 89d

Didn't give them any ideas lol

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d (3 replies)

Your age is defined by your birth Thus your age before birth is negative. And an estimate. Quod erat ipsum dolor et maximus.

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 89d (2 replies)

I struggle to parse the Latin. My first reading would be "That's why it was pain and the greatest..."

What does the maximus refer to? Is it an attribute to dolor, and if so, what does the et refer to?

Or am I supposed to read it as an implied duplication or retroactive emphasis? "pain, the greatest (pain) even."

Or is there something I'm missing between morning brain and rusted skills?

Or is it not actually sound Latin and I'm trying way harder than I should?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d (1 reply)

::: spoiler Let me help you a bit since you got morning brain Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Morbi ac ultricies ipsum, nec fermentum quam. Ut gravida nisl purus, et interdum risus porttitor a. Aenean euismod tellus ante, viverra fermentum tortor commodo a. Praesent lacus mauris, efficitur eget odio a, mollis fringilla eros. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Duis bibendum euismod mi id maximus. Vestibulum lacinia tincidunt sapien vel lobortis. Curabitur consectetur iaculis iaculis. Mauris tincidunt elit ac quam finibus, id dapibus leo sodales.
:::

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 3 pts · 89d

I suspected that, but couldn't find the specific bit in the Lorem Ipsum text, nor in the original its fragments were lifted from, so I assumed it was a genuine quote or self-constructed sentence.

I'll file it under "went way too hard on a throwaway blurb" then, thanks.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d

Conceptually

icwydt

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d (3 replies)

Freezing an adult would be murder.

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 89d (2 replies)

not if they can be un-frozen

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Right, that's not a thing. So murder.

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 89d

"Conceptually" makes a lot of heavy lifting, along with the fictional examples like Captain America

ElBarto@piefed.social · -1 pts · 89d (4 replies)

Is Dave Lister an actual real life person? Or is it a fictional character like the others? Otherwise, they can't be taken as examples. That's like saying that oh yeah, a toddler can totally lift a car no problem.... see Superman.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 89d (1 reply)

He’s an absolute smeghead.

sleet01@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 88d

You can't talk about Cloister that way!

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Bro don't get mad it's just fun.

Pretty sure cryogenic freezing will exist one day - scientists seem very bullish on it.

ElBarto@piefed.social · 1 pts · 71d

You're right. I shall chill.

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 56 pts · 89d (13 replies)

If there was a fire and you only had time to save one of these, which would you save: a one-month old baby, or a flask containing 100 frozen human embryos.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Is the fire making me uncomfortable? I might just sit there saying "This is fine" until it's too late to save either.

Or scout outside to make sure it is really safer than inside before discovering it's too late to save either.

Or maybe flip the lever between the front wheels and back wheels going over the switch for some multi-track drifting--ah nm, that doesn't work for this version of the trolly problem.

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 23 pts · 89d

I respect your rejection of the premise.

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 89d (1 reply)

electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 89d

For real though, I'd save a baby (or adult) seal before the 100 human embryos.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 89d

Can I just leave them both?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 89d

I don't have kids and do you have any idea what one of those smoothies costs. I choose 100 horse sized human embryos

antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 89d

Who leaves their infant in an IVF clinic? If I walk out with the flask they’ll suspect me of arson. If I walk out with the baby, who knows. Call 911 and let the fire fighters save the rest of the buildings occupants.

Aneb@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d

If one one-month old baby and 100 embryos spontaneously combusted I'd assume the world was ending in flames. In that case, where humanity is on the line, I would save the embryos because we need to repopulate the earth after the fires extinguished. I'd probably trip though with the case and break all the embryos.

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 1 pts · 89d (4 replies)

If we were to actually treat this as a moral dilemma, without external factors or trying to challenge the premise:

One of these is sentient. The other hundred are not. Much as my heart might bleed for the potential humans that will never be realised, my priority would be the living, feeling, crying one.

Actually, the crying might be an issue. I tend to be sensitive to some sounds, and particularly in a stressful situation, a wailing baby might be a detriment...

Still, I'm susceptible to emotional bias. I don't like babies or small children, but I won't pretend to be immune to the kind of protective reflex they tend to evoke in (sane) adults. So on top of the above reasoning, I would most likely save the baby, headache be damned.

And then I'd go and find whoever set up this cruel choice in the first place. Why would I be in such a clinic in the first place? Why would it catch on fire? Why does God hate us?

captcha_incorrect@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d (3 replies)

Why would I be in such a clinic in the first place?

You are visiting your partner at the their place of work, which happens to be a lab, with your newborn baby and an accident happens and a fire breaks out. ^/s^

I believe I would save the baby simply because I can emotionally relate to it and not a flask with some frozen content.

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 88d (2 replies)

their place of work

Home?

which happens to be a lab

I mean, it does house all my code experiments, so I guess it's a lab. The sort filled with abominations begging to be relieved. "Delete me!" I can sometimes hear them cry if I open ~/Projects and linger a little too long.

with your newborn baby and an accident happens

If she carries a baby to term, there have been at least two accidents already, what's one more?

Though I'd probably be saving her instead. Odds are the baby could crawl faster than her after pregnancy is done with her.

Shame about my PC though. I've got all the important stuff backed up, but there's a few code projects I've been meaning to get back to some time...

I believe I would save the baby simply because I can emotionally relate to it and not a flask with some frozen content.

Yeah, I think that's on the mark. I can't in all honesty say I'd stand there rationally weighing the ethics of the situation and morality of the choices. The baby feels "more human" than the jar. It also probably has better chances of surviving the lack of refrigeration.

captcha_incorrect@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 87d (1 reply)

Though I’d probably be saving her instead. Odds are the baby could crawl faster than her after pregnancy is done with her.

Pregnancy sure does a number on the body!

Shame about my PC though. I’ve got all the important stuff backed up

You don't happen to have a good off site backup solution to share?

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 87d

I've got a Nextcloud storage at tab.digital, set up to sync with Nextcloud's own client. It does the job just as well as Google Drive, but is hosted in Europe and not by a bloodsucking megacorp.

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 89d (3 replies)

Will I sell booze to this baby? Absolutely.

Will I extend this baby booze on credit? Not in this economy.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d (2 replies)

I dunno, how big a baby?

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d (1 reply)

Elon Musk sized.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d

I'll fight the ducks please. That's one brobdignagian baby.

blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works · 33 pts · 89d (2 replies)

puts on devil's advocate hat

No, because liquor laws don't care about when life began. They care about date of birth. Life beginning at conception does not erase date of birth as a valid type of data.

removes hat because I'm not pro-life

We should not rely on "pro-lifers are too stupid to understand how to refute this" when deciding our views.

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d

Can I have your hat? I eat them, they're an acquired taste. Yours seems interdasting to my entrenchables

RamenJunkie@midwest.social · 2 pts · 89d

If you get a pro lifer giving this excuse comment about how "When life starts and age start are different.". Then flip it into a gender vs sex being different and see where they go.

Crozekiel@lemmy.zip · 31 pts · 89d (5 replies)

What I really want to know: Is Abortionado pronounced like afficianado, and they are an expert in abortions? Or is it like Tornado, and they are a tornado of abortions?

BigDiction@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 89d (1 reply)

I assumed the first one before reading your comment, probably because I am too feeble to imagine an abortion tornado on my own.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d

That's okay I can help you imagine.

It's very gooey.

PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 89d

Like I always say, abortionado, abortionado 🤷‍♂️

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 89d (1 reply)

AngryRobot@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 89d

Well, for starters, I don't think DOS would handle the amount of memory modern PCs use...

Grabthar@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 89d (1 reply)

How is this confusing anyone? We count age from date of birth. Anything that happens before that has nothing to do with your legal age any more than whether you were carried for more or less than 9 months. This would only become interesting if someone froze a toddler for 30 years or something.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 89d

Yeah, seems like this might be a bad faith argument intended to cause more division. It's a flimsy argument that people who like the point it's trying to make might ignore that big thing that makes it fall apart while those against it won't ignore that and will see the other side ignoring it as dishonest.

DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 89d (1 reply)

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 89d

Don't tell me what to let my baby do. Now excuse me but I'm taking little Babythan to the dog fights.

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 89d (22 replies)

He can buy it, but maybe he should wait to drink it.

My rule is, if you are dead when brain dead with a beating heart then you are not alive until you are brain alive with a beating heart. Life starts with brain activity, around 16 weeks.

Codpiece@feddit.uk · 27 pts · 89d (4 replies)

More like 32 years.

S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 22 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Never for some...

13igTyme@piefed.social · 2 pts · 89d

Waiting to be alive any day now

Orygin@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Oh, you mean I get to have some brain activity soon?

bizarroland@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 89d (12 replies)

I go by the Jewish rule.

In the Old Testament, God breathed life into Adam, and thus he became a living soul.

So until the infant takes its first breath, it's not an actual soul. It is a lump of tissue with potential.

I hope that there are as few abortions as are absolutely necessary, but I will not begrudge a single person their choice to have an abortion regardless of the stage of the pregnancy at which it happens.

Canconda@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 89d (2 replies)

it's not an actual soul. It is a lump of tissue with potential.

It's part of the mother according to Jewish law.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Is this one reason why Jewish doctors were historically the only ones okay with performing abortions?

Canconda@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 89d

Yes but abortion procedures are not unique to Jewish doctors. Egypt, China, India, Rome; all of them practiced abortions both medically induced and surgical.

ieGod@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 89d (8 replies)

Respiration still occurs through the umbilical. You shouldn't use sky fairy tales for scientific bases.

BarrelAgedBoredom@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 89d

Internal (diffusion of gases from the bloodstream into the tissues of the body) respiration =/=external respiration (diffusion of atmospheric gases through the alveolus into the bloodstream)

And respiration is only half of breathing, the other half being ventilation.

Don't use science to put someone down when you don't even understand what you're talking about

bizarroland@lemmy.world · -6 pts · 89d (6 replies)
[ removed ]
edible_funk@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d (3 replies)

It would seem turning the other cheek isn't part of your religion.

bizarroland@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 89d (2 replies)
[ removed ]
edible_funk@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Nah man, religion kills people, still, today. It deserves a bit of derision.

bizarroland@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d

But once again, the point was not religion, it was a stance on abortion.

Kind of frustrating that the moderator I'm assuming removed my remarks, but still.

ieGod@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Logic is typically lost on the feeble-minded. I'm aware you are around us. Believe what you want, but it should play zero role in public policy.

Arcka@midwest.social · 4 pts · 89d

Also, public policy should ensure nobody goes hungry.

Maeve@kbin.earth · 10 pts · 89d

Alas, that's not the legal definition. Another reminder that legal is not necessarily ethical, and vice-versa.

edible_funk@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d

Bible says life begins at first breath.

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 89d

Trees are alive without a brain. I think what you mean here is sentience

whimsy@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 89d

Nathan, is that you?

PS: To anyone who hasn't yet, I can highly recommend watching the TV show Nathan for you

Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 88d (1 reply)

I read that cut-off sign as saying

“YAY!

IT’S

TRANSFEM”

and all I could think was “imagine knowing that early AND having supportive parents”

PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 88d

The baby's 30 so it's not that early /s

mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 14 pts · 89d

Trying not to upvote flawed arguments just because it supports my views challenge: IMPOSSIBLE

Coleslaw4145@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 88d (10 replies)

Isnt it called birth day for a reason?

lumettaria@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 88d

whoosh, huh

sureshot0@discuss.online · 1 pts · 88d (8 replies)

What if baby was born in Asia?

qarbone@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 88d (7 replies)

They...have days over there too.

sureshot0@discuss.online · 3 pts · 88d (5 replies)

Asian countries will count the year a child was in the womb as part of their lifespan. A person who is 30 in America is 31 in China, for example.

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d

But it's also like year 12,000 or something in China, so they're all much older in general and why they only have one babby now, because there country is so old.

dgbbad@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 88d (2 replies)

Has he been frozen inside a womb this whole time?

sureshot0@discuss.online · 1 pts · 88d

I'm not sure, sometimes they develop embryos to a certain stage and freeze them to implant later, sometimes it's just the eggs.

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 88d

They have Jello shots like that now, with nitrogen n stuff

Coleslaw4145@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 88d

That still wont make the baby in the post 30 years old because embryos arent frozen in the womb.

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d

No, how can the sun set on the land of the rising sun, China?

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 89d (6 replies)

I am pro-choice & think that life begins at birth, but this argument is fallacious. Even if you believed that life begins at conception, you could coherently claim that this baby is physically still a baby and cannot safely take alcohol

QuincyPeck@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 89d (5 replies)

Safely? No.

Legally though?

PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 89d (1 reply)

And what about hilariously? When did we start leaving that one out?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 89d

Did you go to little Bobby Two Pints's birthday party? The little shit falls asleep after two pints of whiskey. Wimp.

plutopos@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 89d

Same thing. You don't see nazis pro-lifers saying their newborn child is 9 months old

prime_number_314159@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Age for legal purposes generally begins counting at birth, even for people whose cells have been active, and whose organs and such have been growing and maturing for longer than that.

If you could put a baby into suspended animation of some form, and return it to usual biological function 25 years later, there might be a real legal issue. As it stands, I don't see it.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d

When someone asks me my age and I feel like being a smartass, I tell them I'm "younger than my tongue, older than teeth". Sometimes I sub "asshole" for "tongue" depending on my mood

BilSabab@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 88d

at least homie's not knee deep in debts at 30. practically dodged a bullet

pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 89d

In this thread: people who are going to lose our liquor sales licenses when we're caught in a sting operation by an undecover cop baby.

Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 89d (1 reply)

Jokes on you: the kid can't pay for liquor!

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 88d

But you can sell the kid for liquor, therefore if you have kids you always have booze!

Avicenna@programming.dev · 7 pts · 89d (6 replies)

well if embryos can be frozen for longer time, perhaps they can be the first humans to travel to other galaxies?

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 89d (3 replies)

What's the benefit of sending babies to Mars? That's just a very expensive recipe for dead babies.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 89d (1 reply)

TIL Mars is in another galaxy

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d

It's in the Mattel Chocobot galaxy, not the Milky Way galaxy

ButteredBread@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 89d
[ removed ]
gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org · 2 pts · 89d (1 reply)

well, there's also questions about whether you could have a species that is entirely made of robots, that could do spaceflight, and kinda incubate humans in a lab when it arrives.


my personal guess is that it's not possible to have a species entirely made of robots because they cannot reproduce reliably. so it would go extinct after a while. but that's just my guess; some people believe that robots can indeed build more of themselves, i.e. completely reproduce.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 89d

You are absolutely correct, we were supposed to go to Alpha Centauri! I have course corrected, and have confirmed that we are now on the correct trajectory.

The new estimated time of arrival is: 1.1E+4932 years. 🚀👨‍🚀

Jokes aside, would they need to reproduce? Or just not break for a long time

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 89d (1 reply)

How fucked up is it to be of legal age, and have no benefits, as a Baby, because your life was literally put on hold while frozen.

The baby can legit be told to get a job, diagnosed with neurodevelopmental disorders, prescribed adult drugs.

Or am I reading this wrong?

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 89d

All those legal obligations start at date of birth. I think that was the point of the post.

robocall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 88d (2 replies)

As long as the ID looks legit and the baby isn't already visibly drunk, I've done my job.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 3 pts · 87d (1 reply)

I ain't ever seen a sober baby look like they weren't drunk. All uncoordinated and shit, can't speak anything but incoherent babbling, shit all in their pants...

robocall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 87d

Ehh I'd just pour them a glass of water first. I need money.

Grimy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 89d

This one is silly and a good way to mock the church (big fan of mocking them).

That being said, what if a 5 year old falls into a coma for 16 years? I figure the mental age is still 5, although I think the chances of this happening are very low since a coma doesn't work like they show it in Hollywood.

WokeMammal420@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 89d (1 reply)

He seems like he'll be a chill drinking buddy lol🤣

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d

You shouldn't drink babies, regardless how well you chill and salt the glass

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 89d

I would, but I'd sell liquor to any baby.

Neural_drift@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 89d (2 replies)

I’m very confused and too buzzed to scroll the comments.

mrodri89@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 88d
[ removed ]
JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 88d

I'm buzzed enough to just imagine what went on, and in my possibly professional opinion it's aliens.

Etterra@discuss.online · 3 pts · 89d

Hey 30 years old is 30 years old. Give that baby a bottle of Jack Daniels.

apftwb@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d

I would sell liquor to that baby. I would sell liquor to any baby. I am not claiming to be a morally righteous person.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 89d

I'd sell liquor to ANY baby. Drunk babies and toddlers are hilarious.

sureshot0@discuss.online · 2 pts · 88d (3 replies)

Wave, pray... ? transform? is that what her shirt says?

SarcasticCephalopod@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d (2 replies)

Wake, pray, transfer, I think. The day they transfer the "embryo" into the uterus is a big, hopeful day.

sureshot0@discuss.online · 1 pts · 88d (1 reply)

Oh, that’s makes sense. She must have custom made the shirt.

SarcasticCephalopod@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 86d

Probably Etsy.

NGC2346@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 88d (2 replies)

Wow, fascinating story. Any chance that this advances the potential of cryogenic stuff for adult humans wanting to do a Futurama thing ?

Tessellecta@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 88d (1 reply)

No not really. The problem with human cryogenic freezing is our size. You can freeze animals up to around the size of a hamster, as you can freeze and thaw them fast enough. Anything bigger than that, you run into issues.

Barbarian@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 88d

And, fun fact, the microwave was originally invented for these small-scale cryogenic experiments. Then researchers starting warming up their lunch in 'em.

IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 38d

The baby stopped aging as they were frozen, so no

IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 38d

He was alive as an embryo, but was frozen and without a mother so he did not get to develop. He has got the chance to develop now, and when he reaches his physical age, he can buy liqour

Janx@piefed.social · 1 pts · 33d

Thaddeus Daniel Pierce is over 30 years old despite being born July 26, 2025

No they fucking aren't. Even if you believe life begins at conception, no one counts age like that!

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d

I don't believe that but I still would

Pacattack57@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 89d

On a separate note I think people like abortianado are just as bad as prolife tards because they think they are educated but they’re not.

Anyone who is “pro-abortion” falls in that category. Nobody wants an abortion. They simply want access to medical care. Like most things it boils down to education. If we actually took sex ed seriously in the US and provided adequate access to birth control for all sexes we’d have less abortions.

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · -6 pts · 88d (3 replies)

But... conception is when the swimmer breaks into the egg, which happened after the egg was thawed out.

If the unfertilized egg is the start of life, then this whole argument just got a lot more stupid.

piccolo@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 88d

Yes... which happened back in 1994 just before the embyro was frozen.

SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 88d

Well it says embryo not egg

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d

Life started billions of years ago, dude. Conception is way older than you think. Just ask Dr. G. Carlin, he did a good talk about this a long time ago.

RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · -25 pts · 89d (12 replies)
[ removed ]
DrBob@lemmy.ca · 39 pts · 89d (9 replies)

¿Isn't that the point? The embryo formed decades ago but implanted in 2024. By anti-abortion arguments the baby is a legal adult.

RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · -23 pts · 89d (8 replies)
[ removed ]
scutiger@lemmy.world · 54 pts · 89d

This says the embryo was frozen in 1994. An embryo is already fertilized.

Bakkoda@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 89d (4 replies)

Which then becomes an... Say it with us...

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d (2 replies)

Omelet?

Bakkoda@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d (1 reply)

I've never seen it. Not really a Shakespeare fan

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 88d

Two eggs, or not two eggs: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous cholesterol,
Or to take arms against a sea of feathers,
And by opposing end them? To dine: to eat;
No more; and by a brunch to say we end
The mouth-ache and the thousand natural calories
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To dine, to eat;
To eat: perchance to bloat: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep after dinner what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal foil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whisks and spatulae of time,
The chicken's wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised meat, the law’s delay,
The insolence of cheffery and the spurs
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his flatus make
With a bare bottom? who would his fartles bear,
To grunt and sweat above a porcelain bowl,
But that the dread of something worse than death,
The undiscover’d anus from whose born
No meal returns, puzzles the senses
And makes us rather bear those smells we have
Then fart at others that we know not of?
Thus trots do make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the beige cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of charmin.–Soft you now!
The fair Eudora Welty! Nymph, in thy eruptions
Be all my sins remember’d.

DrBob@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 89d
[ removed ]
ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip · 16 pts · 89d

That's what embryo means.

A fertilized egg.

halcyoncmdr@piefed.social · 9 pts · 89d

You're almost there dude... Just keep working through each step and you'll catch up eventually.

tae_glas@slrpnk.net · 36 pts · 89d (1 reply)

they froze an embryo in 1994, rather than eggs / sperm, so doesn't that count as conception and at least the first half of the IVF process?

either way, congrats to the new family!

EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 89d

It doesn't count as long as someone's argument relies on it not counting.

Which is basically how it always is.

majster@lemmy.zip · -38 pts · 89d (35 replies)

No. But life beginning at conception is the only logical line to draw. Every other is arbitrary. And having arbitrary set lines for who is human and who isn't is not something we should want. But banning abortion also doesn't work and is cruel. Life is complicated.

Uruanna@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 89d

No. But life beginning at conception is the only logical line to draw.

No it's not, conception is just as arbitrary. Just because it's the logic you adopted doesn't mean it's the only logical choice.

buddascrayon@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 89d (15 replies)

At the point of conception all you are is a small group of cells that are forming something. There is no brain, there is no heart, there is no anything that would be described as human other than the DNA. At some point during the endless splitting of those cells a heart is created to push blood around the body that has developed, a body I might add looks entirely the same no matter what species you're looking at at this stage. And then, sometime long after that, a brain emerges but it's nothing like what we have when we're born. The human brain of a baby takes a long time to form. The question of "At what point does Life Begin?", is not "At what point is something alive?", it's "At what point can it be considered human and not just a small group of cells working toward being a human one day?"

Anti-abortion groups are not pro-life as they like to claim. For one, more than a few of them are pro death penalty. And for two, they don't actually care about children who are born because more than half of them actively work towards taking assistance away from single mothers and children and adoption services and Foster Care programs. Even if all they do is vote for the wrong party, they are guilty of this.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 89d (4 replies)

Tbh, "At what point does life begin?" is a pointless question and a false equivalence.

A removed appendix or a removed cancer are clearly human life too. They clearly live, and still there is no moral panic about "killing" someone's appendix or cancer.

The actual question here is "At what point is a human a legally protected being?" or "At what point does it make sense that legal protections cover a human being?"

Claiming that the question is "At what point does life begin?" is a purposely wrong question that is used to shift the discussion from the actual question. Because life begins as sperm and egg cells, but legally protecting these would be completely crazy. But if we are talking about "At what point does life begin?" instead of about "At what point is the embryo human enough to warrant human-level protections?" the story rapidly changes.

captcha_incorrect@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d (3 replies)

I always thought of the question as "at what point is it a human being". I think we could both agree that a cut of arm is living tissue and not a human being. From this point of view, the original question stand in my opinion (and could somewhat be equated to yours).

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 88d (2 replies)

“at what point is it a human being”

That is a much more valid question than "at what point does life begin", and that's pretty much the same point as "at what point is it a being covered by the legal protections of human rights?"

captcha_incorrect@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 87d (1 reply)

Yeah, I felt the same when I wrote it. I agree with what someone else said though, these movements are often not about life but about control over women.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 87d

Yeah, that's the really infuriating part. While some people might argue in good faith on the pro-life side, a lot of them don't.

A common scenario:

  • A woman who is not ready, equipped and/or willing to have a child gets pregnant and wants to abort.
  • She ends up not doing it (due to laws and/or social pressure) and has the kid.
  • Turns out, she's not ready, equipped and/or willing to raise the child, and the child ends up neglected in some form.
  • Society turns on the woman telling her she's a bad mother.

If it was actually an honest pro-life movement, the pro-lifing wouldn't end with the birth of the child. Instead, then the movement should step in and be pro-free-school-lunch, pro-free-education, pro-free-child-care and so on.

But no, it's all like "You gave birth to this child, so screw you, it's your own fault, your own responsibility."

nek0d3r@midwest.social · 5 pts · 88d

Cue running to an anti-abortion with a ball of human hair and screaming, "BEHOLD, A MAN!"

majster@lemmy.zip · -6 pts · 88d (8 replies)

I really liked your first paragraph. I can't argue with you regarding the second because I'm not USAian and thus live in completley different socio-political landscape.

At what point can it be considered human and not just a small group of cells working toward being a human one day?

This is intelectually stimulating position. But this same line of thought can be traced further into extremes such as eugenics and scientific racism. Because of these historical aberrations that stem from this same principle, I reject this position and thus adopt position that life begins at conception. And trying to discriminate who/what is human is dangerous and should not be done.

piccolo@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 88d (2 replies)

And trying to discriminate who/what is human is dangerous and should not be done.

By that logic, cancer treatments should be illegal.

majster@lemmy.zip · -4 pts · 88d (1 reply)

I do not find much logic in your reply. But fear not, to me you are still human! Have a great day!

piccolo@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 88d

Cancer is made of a living human cells growing to its own means. Killing it is killing a human by your logic.

captcha_incorrect@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 88d (2 replies)

Instead of trying to define a point where something is a human based on how much it has developed, because of the associated risks and historical failings, your standpoint is that life begins at conception.

Did I understand correctly?

majster@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 88d (1 reply)

Correct

captcha_incorrect@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 87d

👍

buddascrayon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d (1 reply)

trying to discriminate who/what is human is dangerous and should not be done.

People who eat meat and eggs already make this distinction. You want to get rough and stupid? Then let's get rough and stupid.

magnetosphere@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 88d

I’m not particularly interested in debate. However, I am down for getting rough and stupid with the right person.

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 89d

The question of "when does life begin?" is deceptive. Life does not begin at conception with each life. Life began some 3.5 billion years ago and has never stopped. Each life continues unbroken from other lives. If the complaint is that any point we choose is arbitrary, well this is what nature gave us. The only logical point to begin from is when the new life separates from the old.

And frankly, nature eats way more babies than adults.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d (14 replies)

Ok, let's take "life begins at conception". And let's say that means "life that should be legally and ethically be protected like a human being begins at conception", because if we don't add that, it doesn't actually mean anything.

At conception, we have a single cell, nothing more or less. If we logically extend that, that would mean every single cell is a protected human. If you get your appendix removed, it's a protected human that was removed and thus killed. If you remove cancer, that's a protected human.

What about the HeLa cell line? That's a line of cells derived from the cancer of Henrietta Lacks in the early 50s. These are human cells that have mutated so that they can multiply and live as single-celled organisms. Each of them are protected humans. In fact, there are more HeLa humans (by that definition) than there are actual humans.

So does this definition make any sense?

IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 38d (11 replies)

If my appendix could develop into a full human, I wouldnt get it removed. How many cells we have is irrevelant, personhood matters.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 37d (10 replies)

So you are talking about potential personhood here or currently active personhood?

I guess it's more about potential, because otherwise we wouldn't have the debate.

Sperm and egg cells could develop into a full human. There's potential personhood here. If you follow that train of thought, it would be a requirement for every woman to get pregnant constantly and every man to never "waste" sperm or something crazy like that. Doesn't make sense.

IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 37d (9 replies)

Life begins at conception. Then it's active personhood

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 36d (8 replies)

So your definition of "personhood" does not depend on the existence of a person?

What is your definition then? I'm sensing a circular definition incoming.

IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 36d (5 replies)

when they are conceived and given their rational soul.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 34d

Circular reasoning.

IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 36d (1 reply)

embryos exist?

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 34d

Circular reasoning exists.

majster@lemmy.zip · -3 pts · 88d (1 reply)

In your first paragraph you are directly attaching legal consequences which I explicitly did not propose in my original comment.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 88d

Yeah, because the discussion is about legal consequences and ommitting them in favour of some nebuous "when life begins" is just a misdirection, nothing else.

Life begins when the sperm and egg are created. Or actually life begins as the parents, or as their ancestors, millions of generations ago, when they weren't even multi-cell organisms.

None of that matters at all to the discussion.

The only point relevant to the discussion is "When does this cross from being a 'thing' to being a 'human' worthy of legal protections?"

Sperm and egg cells don't have legal protection, they are firmly in the 'thing' category. A baby that survived birth is firmly in the 'human' category. The question is not "when does life begin", because that's an absurd thing to ask.

RichardNixos@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 89d

life beginning at conception is the only logical line to draw

What if the question of life or non-life is irrelevant?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Singer#Abortion_and_euthanasia

WokeMammal420@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d
[ removed ]