Disappointed Christians say God is delaying the Rapture until Epstein Files are released
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/disappointed-christians-say-god-delaying-35957306
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/disappointed-christians-say-god-delaying-35957306
218 Comments
givesomefucks@lemmy.world · 160 pts · 322d
Weird...
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be...
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world · 95 pts · 322d
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
https://www.neh.gov/article/rise-rapture-horror-culture
makyo@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 322d
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
Maeve@kbin.earth · 8 pts · 322d
Esoterica channel on YT is a bit over halfway through a lecture series on Merkavah, that talks about apocalypse predictions and the language used and why (which by extrapolation applies to occult topics and language used).
IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 322d
Wow, sounds like we’re already living it today…
HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 2 pts · 322d
What about the 12000 from each of the 12 tribes?
ceenote@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 322d
"Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn't counting on a genius like me coming along."
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
MNByChoice@midwest.social · 8 pts · 322d
The ones that could self selected out. (Or were kicked out.)
Thaurin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d
Which is strange, because Jesus is God and God is all knowing…
Also what disguy was saying of course.
scarabic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 322d
But surely it won’t happen until after God sees those files. They might affect who gets raptured. /s
TommySoda@lemmy.world · 105 pts · 322d
You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I'm down to support it.
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 322d
I think if this idea were seeded into the Facebook frenzy that would have been diabolical
Blackmist@feddit.uk · 84 pts · 322d
What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?
rekabis@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 322d
Oh, please no. I so desperately want humanity (and the planet) to be rid of these people.
hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 48 pts · 322d
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -24 pts · 322d
Then the muslims take their place
dickalan@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 321d
Bro is totally not racist and brings up Muslim faith unannounced, fucking weirdo
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 321d
What has Islam got to do with Race? I'm just saying that getting rid of Christians won't make the earth into an atheist haven. Islam will logically take it's place as it's the second biggest religion.
The hell has this got to do with race???
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 321d
One of those "it's" isn't the same as the other.
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 321d
People of any race can be Muslim. When someone says "Christians are all crazy" do we say that they're racist towards white people just because the majority of Christians are white?
So then why is it that when someone implies that Muslims are all crazy we assume that that is racism at work?
And it's not exactly a random thing to bring up. Rapture is supposedly going to apply to Christians so even if it did happen, theoretically the Muslims would be left behind, and so in the context of the comic posted that says all the religious wackos are gone, he's pointing out that they wouldn't all be gone.
I'm lost on what is racist about this. Could you please explain?
echodot@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 321d
We are used to him in the UK communities. He's a well known prat.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 0 pts · 321d
That's not a very nice thing to say ☹️
Blackmist@feddit.uk · 22 pts · 322d
Hang on lads, I've got an idea.
acockworkorange@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 317d
The all new Rapture Drink, now Kool-Aid flavored!
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 321d
send them all to mars!
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 322d
Wow, covid was an extremely shitty rapture.
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 6 pts · 321d
Even with god's chosen president doing everything he could to get more people up to heaven...
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 322d
explains a lot tbh.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 320d
Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?
Specifically this dude:
F_State@midwest.social · 62 pts · 322d
Christians are almost always been selective about what parts of the bible they believe (or even bother to read) and this is an easy example. The bible makes very clear that the date the world ends will be known to none but god. There won't be a warning from angels and humans won't be able to figure out in advance. There could be signs it's coming that people pick up on but someone saying "it'll be this day on this month" will always be a lie. That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 322d
it's all carnies and rubes.
RattlerSix@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 322d
Even Jesus, who is God, sorta, didn't know when it would happen. He told his disciples he would return in their lifetime.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 322d
He forgot to convert from God Time to mortal time. He was thinking they would live another couple dozen years or whatever, a thousand times as long as it took HimDadSelf to create the universe and speedrun evolution. Forgetting those the same kind of Days.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 321d
Didn't he technically return for a short bit?
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 322d
From what I understand this is a common misconception
CXORA@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 322d
Its literally what it says in the bible.
There's a lot of mental gymnastics Christians do to pretend this isn't true, but that is transparent and pathetic.
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 321d
Apparently it's a case of misinterpretation and he was talking about the destruction of Herod's temple which happened in 70 AD
CXORA@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 320d
So, what got misinterpreted to turn "Herod's temple will be destroyed" into
“Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” ?
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 320d
You need the context of what he said before that. He wasn't talking about his return he was talking about specific signs.
The problem with a lot of the Bible is that it is too easy to misinterpret. Its why biblical scholars exist.
Hell so much of it even requires historical context.
But for this specifically you jumped to the end of a long speech Jesus gave and ignored the body of it. And I don't blame you. It's easy to get lost in such a dull and antiquated collection of books.
It's why Young Earth Creationists think there are references to dinosaurs in the Old Testament. Lack of paying attention to a hard to follow text
But yes he was talking about the rise of Christianity and specific things that would come with it. Not his second coming.
CXORA@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 318d
Well that's just not true...
Most of that chapter has to do woth "the identity of christ", not signs and symbols of the rise of Christianity.
CXORA@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 320d
RattlerSix@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 321d
The most common Christian apologetic is to say he was talking about the transfiguration. That fails because the language is clearly talking about his return. The early church clearly thought he was going to return in their lifetime. Also, the transfiguration a few days later. It's weird to say "some of you will still be alive in a few days"
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 321d
Would be funny if that's what he meant
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 321d
I have yet to meet a Christian who doesn't regularly practice at least one of the 7 deadly sins.
In the modern age, just Greedy, Envy and Wrath are already common amongst the vast majority of Christians - I mean, if you want to punish immigrants becuase you think that "they're taking our jobs" that's already Greed and Wrath and possibly also Envy.
Then even the most pious religious people are generally Prideful, at the very least on how close to the Lord they thing they are and how superior their own moral and ways are.
Sloth and Gluthony also tend to be very common - you certainly don't get overweight "epidemics" in a country without tons of people doing very little when they could do more (say, riding their car everywhere) and eating far beyond what they need.
If there's ever a Rapture, nobody will notice because only a handful of people - most of whom eremits living separate from the rest of the World - dissapears.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 322d
They must not think Trump is releasing the Epstein files any time soon.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d
Well.....on that front, they wouldn't be wrong.
Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 322d
Sell car.
Donate to church.
GGEZ
Church: no re
BleatingZombie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d
I wonder if the inverse would hold true
If somebody "knows" its the rapture, then it must not actually be the rapture
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 0 pts · 322d
Pretty sure it is a time when it's least expected
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -1 pts · 322d
This was like a slim minority of Christians
F_State@midwest.social · 6 pts · 322d
Oh I know. But there have been many similar slim minorities of Christians over the Millenia.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -3 pts · 322d
Yes... And?
F_State@midwest.social · 7 pts · 322d
I mean, "Yes...And?" Would have been a fair response to what you said
possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 322d
You do realize Christianity is pretty diverse group, right?
You can believe what you want to believe
F_State@midwest.social · 16 pts · 322d
Diverse, sure. But some statements hold true across most of that diversity. Almost every Christian individual and denomination is selective about what parts of the bible they listen to. Since some parts of the bible are contradictory, this is sometimes a necessity. But other times it's just people being people.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 322d
I'm gonna write a book that contradicts itself, not give clarification on those parts, leave it up to the readers to figure it out, and base the afterlife on how right they were. Because at least some Christians think they are doing it exactly right, and they will not be having the afterlife they think they will.
F_State@midwest.social · 6 pts · 322d
You left out "pick the correct translation of that book". There are people who are 'KJV Only' who believe that the King James Version of the bible is the only correct divinely inspired version.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 321d
Look, the list of corrections and amendments we could make to what I said could fill out a book of their own. The Bible of Why The Bible Is Fallible, or whatever.
Soup@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 322d
If you hold a single text to be the very word of your god, and you use it to justify all that you do or do not do, then you must follow it to the letter or admit that you’re just a tourist. There is zero in between when you claim that the thing is pure and divine, cannot be questioned, and should be the basis for all your laws.
Christians just keep throwing out whole chunks of the fucking thing except all the parts that they can misinterpret and mistranslate to allow them to do awful things to people they don’t like for “reasons”.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 322d
My favorite part is how every pastor and many laypeople will have their own particular set of interpretations. Never mind that, at most, only one of those could be fully right, and therefore the rest are doing/believing some things wrong.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -4 pts · 322d
Although everything is like that. Some people have different political, scientific, philosophical theories about a load of things. It's not that big of a deal.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 321d
Nobody thinks you're going to hell for having a new idea about quantum gravity. Nobody has set up car bombs over whether or not plucked chickens are human. Political differences do have a very different history with violence, of course.
But when there is a large number of people who are happy to make me feel profoundly wrong for not accepting their deity, or thinking the wrong day is the day God wants us to rest, or who think plenary indulgences are or aren't a good idea, or if Jesus abolished or fulfilled the old law, or if God thinks we should kill all trans people... we have hit a different territory.
These are not the same thing, and sometimes it is a VERY big deal. Literally life and death.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -3 pts · 321d
Nobody is going to hell for believing in Calvinism/Arminianism. Nobody is going to hell for believing in Memorialism or Real Presence. You go to hell for your sin.
These aren't necessarily salvation issues, although some beliefs may be signs of someone being unsaved (for example thinking they can buy their way into heaven or wanting to kill trans people- both show examples of someone who hasn't been regenerated by the Holy Spirit)
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 321d
Well, Ortodox Cristians for example, do as a matter of fact, believe you go to hell for believing in heretic shit.
andros_rex@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d
Which not all Christians do. There are many who believe to be the words of human beings, just divinely inspired or significant.
Soup@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d
Sure, but why do they get to pick and choose what is more important than the rest? How do intentionally bad mistraslations for kings and personal gain provide the basis for a religion? Even the best Christians I know, who don’t force their own beliefs on others, still consider themselves to be pro-life because of the bible, or if they treat gay people with all the respect a human being deserves otherwise they still believe beung gay to be a sin. Why choose that stuff to follow but ignore the mixed cloth and tattoo parts?
You(maybe you, maybe the general “you”) don’t get to pick what part of your holy text is important or not. That’s not a religion, just a theology enthusiast with potentially questionable ideas all of their own.
andros_rex@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 321d
The mixed cloth and tattoo parts are from the Old Testament, which many Christians believe was superseded by the sacrifice of Christ. A new covenant - Abraham didn’t sacrifice Isaac, but God sacrificed his son. No longer a need to sacrifice in the temple, no longer a need to follow dietary laws.
There’s nothing in the text of the Bible that justifies a “pro life” position. The only part that mentions abortion is an Old Testament verse about forcing a woman who is suspected of cheating to drink something that will cause an abortion.
The language used by Paul in the New Testament about gay men is ambiguous and could easily be interpreted to only prohibit pedophilic sex.
Several of “Paul’s” letters in the New Testament are known forgeries. It’s very easy to “pick and choose” to reject those. One could even reject Paul entirely.
It’s a text written in multiple different ancient languages. It’s not cut and dry always that “the Bible says this.” (Same with other ancient texts - most translations of the I Ching are absolutely bonkers in how they look nothing alike.)
Even if someone would want to call themselves a “literalist,” there’s clearly poetry and figurative language. I don’t think anyone has baby dear for mammaries.
You cannot flatten Christianity like this. The fundamentalist interpretation/“Biblical literalist” interpretation is really a product of the 19th century (as is fundamentalist Islam - these are both tied to more widespread literacy in the world). It’s not one coherent ideology you can throw r/atheism logical “gotchas!” at.
A lot of shit that is part of mainstream Christianity isn’t even biblical. The Satan and hell most imagine is more from Milton and Dante than it is from the text of the Bible.
Religions aren’t their texts - even the ones that purport to be. They’re centuries of folk traditions and interpretations stacked on those ambiguous texts.
Soup@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d
You’ve proven my point exactly. The only text that christians follow, the one that is front and centre of their entire ideology no matter how they choose to interpret it, is comepletely full of holes. Without the bible there is no religion. What do you honestly think Christianity looks like, and where could you even find enough information on it, if you removed the bible and all references to it?
There is nothing without the bible, and the bible itself is nothing of you refuse to obey it to the letter. If there are clear lies they must be removed or else that is an edorsement of said lies contained within, and a willful corruption of the holy text.
And the extra funny thing is that the muslims believe in the same god and they follow the rules in the book. It’s the same guy but apparently all the people who don’t even live in the birthplace of the religion get a free pass to just go off and do whatever? Sure, ok.
Asafum@feddit.nl · 45 pts · 321d
"With God all things are possible... Except the Epstein files, even God can't help you there."
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 36 pts · 321d
I just realized...GOD is in the Epstein Files. Oh, it all makes so much sense now!
Asafum@feddit.nl · 14 pts · 321d
It all started with the virgin Mary, then God couldn't help himself and created Epstein so he didn't feel so alone in His diddling!
axexrx@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 321d
When Jesus said "suffer the children come unto me" that's not what he was talking about
-Carlin
Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world · -3 pts · 321d
It was sick when he said it, and it still is.
ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 322d
List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, then the people who anticipated this latest failed prediction are absolutely, frothing at the mouth, street corner screaming certifiable.
But then I think we all already knew that.
atzanteol@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 322d
sundray@lemmus.org · 9 pts · 322d
In 2011 one of the skeptic magazines published a form saying something like, "I hereby bequeath all my worldly goods to the bearer of this note on [day after the world was supposed to end]." Obviously a joke, but I wonder how many doomsday-ers were confident enough to sign on the dotted line?
rozodru@piefed.social · 9 pts · 322d
I doubt many because you never, ever, hear of any of these rapture folks giving away all their money and stuff. never. Oh it's going to happen...but just in case...
ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 322d
Not quite the same, but when my wife was a kid, some of her hardcore fundie neighbors ran up MASSIVE loan and credit card debts on the lead-up to one of these rapture dates in the '90s. They thought that since they would soon be chilling with Jesus in Heaven they wouldn't have to face financial consequences. It financially ruined them and they lost everything.
Seleni@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 321d
Huh. Isn’t that the Sin of Greed then? Seems even if there had been a rapture they self-selected out.
ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 321d
I stopped trying to rationalize these people's 'reasoning' a long time ago.
Seleni@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 321d
I mean, I understand it. I think it’s stupid, but I understand it.
They believe Good is something you are, not something you do. So anything they do is Good, because they’re Good. If a Bad Person does the same thing, say, running up debt; they did something Bad, because Bad People only do Bad things.
smh@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 322d
checks list Cool, the one I added (and documented) is still listed.
cenzorrll@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 322d
Well, we're getting close though. Only 5 more left.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 40 pts · 322d
American Christians. Never heard anyone else use the term rapture.
dwemthy@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 322d
The article mentions the preacher who started this rapture excitement is from South Africa
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 322d
I mean that really all depends on the religion that they are. The rapture is used in different context for different religions and it's not always called the same thing. However the word rapture is typically prevalent among sects such as Southern Baptist and any of the other evangelical faith. But it's not typically found among many of the base Lutheran religions and the exact words as well as Catholicism.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 322d
In the UK, some Christians have used the term "Rapture" to just refer to the second coming. I've heard people use the term and not even know Rapture Theology (where Christians just disappear) to be a thing.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 322d
And now guess why the billionaires behave like they do.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 322d
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
Frozengyro@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 322d
He's about to release the... Look squirrel!
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 322d
Jesus is coming! Open your mouth!
RaoulDuke@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 322d
Swallow the sins of man
MJKee9@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d
But is he powerful enough to create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it?
echodot@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 322d
Yeah but he doesn't know how to use windows 11, so he's just going to print out an email and send it in the post.
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 322d
Jesus works for those in power so therefore he's protecting them, that's the only answer to this.
JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 322d
That's Supply Side Jesus, the one Evangelicals worship. He's a dick
manxu@piefed.social · 36 pts · 322d
Imagine you wake up in the morning and realize all the annoying Christian fundies have been raptured away and the world is all unicorn farts and rainbow cotton candy for a while...
YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca · 34 pts · 322d
Somewhere, one single person was raptured and wondering where everyone else is. No one else noticed their absence. But the rapture did happen.
“Just me? Really?”
lime@feddit.nu · 14 pts · 322d
small gods was right all along
BanMe@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 322d
This happened in AD 221.
konalt@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d
The rapture happened ages ago, but none of us went to heaven. We're staying along for the ride.
jj4211@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d
Because it's impossible to be good, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop: "There's this chicken sandwich that if you eat it, it means you hate gay people. And it's delicious!"
Psythik@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d
I'm sorry but Chick-fil-A is bland as fuck and I'll never understand why people love it so much. The chicken is always dry, the sauce selection sucks, and the lettuce & tomato are always warm & soggy. I just don't get it. Even by fast food standards, the quality is shit. I've been to multiple locations and they're all the same.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 2 pts · 322d
It's too bad there's only one fried chicken restaurant in existence
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 322d
Simply do this for every product you buy, or go to the Bad Place.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 3 pts · 322d
I feel like you can keep track of the ones actively doing genocide and famous for it when they're just one franchise instead of a megaconglomerate that makes everything under two hundred different labels.
Go to Popeyes instead of getting in line with the rest of the WASPs, it's not a big ask.
Valmond@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d
Yes Lot, just don't look back, or I'll kill you.
Dragomus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d
And then the probing began.
robocall@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d
The one raptured dude was super high on fent so they assumed it was an OD.
MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 322d
Nice try.
The Rapture did happen, and you failed to make the cut.
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 8 pts · 322d
I was raptured! Or at least I think I was. I was laying in bed when all of sudden everything started shaking and there was a bright light outside. Everything in my bedroom started being lifted up. Then two shadowy figures were in my bedroom. They were short and large heads. They spoke like Biblical angels, completely in tongues.
The next thing I remember, I woke up two towns over with no memory. I also have a pounding headache.
DanWolfstone@leminal.space · 2 pts · 322d
Oh yes I remember that Pixar short!
Strider@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d
Actually, this is something I could relate to.
This is hell. Like, literally.
skisnow@lemmy.ca · 29 pts · 322d
It’s 2025 and the Daily Star is now considered one of the more relevant and trustworthy news sources. And not because they’ve improved themselves.
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 321d
In our era, a new way of winning the race to be the British Newspaper with the most Journalistic Integrity appeared: just stand still as a tabloid with little or no Journalistic Integrity whilst everybody else just runs by you in the opposite direction of "better" on their way to Pure Propagand Outlet.
Ronno@feddit.nl · 27 pts · 322d
Faith is such an interesting concept. Believers can make up interesting statements like this, but if this statement is true, then so is the following: God was okay with Epstein's activities, otherwise God would've intervened. Right?
Ougie@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 322d
Naaah we're just too stupid to understand how god operates. Don't even try, just know that god loves you and shut up about Epstein /s
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 321d
God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He knows the number of hairs on your head. Every touch, crime, etc. by Epstein was God's specific will or it wouldn't have happened. The Lord works in mysterious ways!
echodot@feddit.uk · 27 pts · 322d
Every time the rapture doesn't happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
I really should get into the property market around the time the next rapture announcement comes out because surely they'll be selling all their houses off right. If you timed it right you could go on a really expensive holiday and save money by not paying for a return flight.
mudstickmcgee@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 321d
I think I saw someone selling "rapture insurance" a while a go. Iirc they pay a one time fee to get on a registry and they would go around and collect pets that didn't get raptured with their owners.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 321d
Don't forget the annual renewal fee, by automatic withdrawal. Make it expensive, and do it just before Christmas.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 321d
That sounds like a nice little grift to get into. Usually I have to reject these ideas because I have a moral compass, but I might be able to ignore it to fleece gullible MAGA religious freaks. I don't mind separating the money from racist, pedophile traitors.
5too@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 321d
Why make it a grift? Start reaching out to them to check in after each rapture prediction, and you can get word-of-mouth business!
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 321d
What? But the rapture was last night, didn't anyone tell them?
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 321d
"Oh, it was last night, and YOU are still here? Sorry, buddy, that sucks. Well, not for me, I wasn't expecting it. I'm just happy that we'll have fewer arrogant self-righteous Karens."
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 321d
That has to be some sort of Logical Fallacy. If the rapture hasn't happened yet, then it stands to reason that it must happen in the future. That part isn't in doubt, it's the actual date that is controversial.
I mean, assuming you believe the rapture is real in the first place. You have to make that illogical leap first.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 321d
It's like a variant on the Gamblers fallacy. They believe there's a chance, and so every failure means a success is closer
Awkwardparticle@programming.dev · 2 pts · 321d
It sounds so stupid when you break it down like that.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d
And yet the gambler's fallacy hits pretty hard to a lot of people. I know I struggle with it. We as a species tend to organize our world in the form of narrative and intents. Randomness kinda fucks with us in that regard.
That said, the rapture part is stupid. But there's also more to it. When Prophecy Fails is a famous book on the topic
conartistpanda@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d
I was going to say "gambling" semi ironically.
Aqarius@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 321d
They are more convinced. "When prophecy fails" was first published in 1956, it's well documented.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 322d
be the change you want to see in the world
jmsy@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 321d
not even god knows what's in the files? this does go deep!
Bwaz@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 321d
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
foggianism@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 321d
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 321d
Oh God, don't even give them any ideas. I'm already worried with all this symbolism trying to make Charlie Kirk into Jesus they're going to try and claim he was resurrected at some point.
"This was all part of God's plan."
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 321d
Wait people were taking the rapture seriously
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 321d
My aunt is basically a crazy evangelical, and yes, she thinks we are living in the end times, and wants to usher in the end times faster so she can get to heaven. Its batshit insane.
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 7 pts · 321d
It's mental illness is what it is.
Zetta@mander.xyz · 0 pts · 321d
All religion is mental illness, it's just so common it isn't politically correct to tell that truth about it.
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 321d
Bud, my entire family says this every time I talk to them. Which is rare, thankfully.
Kooky shit.
Almacca@aussie.zone · 0 pts · 321d
I can suggest a way she can get to heaven more quickly.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 18 pts · 321d
Sure, okay, whatever, just release the Epstein Files. I'm not religious, like at all, but if that's what it takes, I'm fine with it.
Wytch@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 322d
Yeah I get it, it's like when the forecast called for heavy snowfall overnight, and you're like "fuck yeah snow day tomorrow!" but then it's barely a dusting and you're watching for your school to come up on the news crawl, and like all the other towns schools are closing, but yours is still open, and then you realize the bus is coming in like ten minutes, and your snow day dreams are shattered and you gotta sit in English and Algebra instead of making a snow fort... yeah that sucks, man. Life is unfair
notsosure@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 322d
Well I went to heaven, just as predicted. Let me tell you: it is GREAT up here. And free WiFi too, as you can see.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 322d
Cool. How's the food? Are there orgies?
notsosure@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 322d
Food is surprisingly good actually. Lots of grapes. No Orgies yet, but they drag Epstein from hell everyday to give us all bjs.
DreamAccountant@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 322d
Death cult makes up another excuse for their god not existing.
"We know it's fiction, but we hate you for not believing our bullshit!"
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you 'good' religious assholes. Fuck you specifically for supporting evil religions.
Without religion, we'd be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
Lumisal@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 322d
Pretty sure bad people don't need religion to still do bad things and lie. I'm pretty certain murder and other such horrors existed before religion did.
Which is to say, y'all would be still talking about Charlie Kirk, tariffs, etc still instead of Epstein.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -1 pts · 322d
A large portion of American Christians I've talked to reject Trump being a Christian. They just preferred him over Kamala. They'd rather someone pretending to be Christian than flat out reject Jesus openly.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 321d
"I'd rather the anti-chtist lying that they are the Christian than an honest person saying they aren't a Christian."
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 0 pts · 321d
She told Christians not to vote for her.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 322d
72% of Americans have some form of religious belief.
If religious people fuck everything up you are literally surrounded by them.
ripcord@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d
"Some form" is pretty broad. They may not actually mean all religions, either.
But I don't think that raging against the majority is uncalled for.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · -2 pts · 322d
There's a difference between raging against the majority, and saying things like "all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up". It's a wonder anything is standing if that was the case.
VinesNFluff@pawb.social · 6 pts · 322d
I mean
It kind of is a wonder anything is standing.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 322d
Indeed. Feels like there must be a flawed premise involved...
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 322d
That's not really what they said, though. Most of that 72% does non-religious stuff most of the time. Imagine how much better things could be if we were less fucked up!
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 322d
Sure sounds like they don't care if they do "non-religious stuff most of the time"
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d
Ok.......then we're surrounded by people who fuck up the planet.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
Like we're already past the point of no return for climate change. We can't unfuck the planet.
So why is it hard to believe that the majority of people are huge fuck-ups in life? Including you.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 322d
I never claimed otherwise?
And how helpful is it to scream "fuck humans, all they do is fuck everything up, even the so called good humans fuck you for supporting the humans fucking things up!"
There, have I fixed climate change now?
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -5 pts · 322d
Without religion we'd be raping children and bashing babies against rocks, and possibly genocided each other several times over.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 321d
If the only reason you're not doing those things is out of fear of eternal punishment then you're not a good person.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · -2 pts · 321d
Define "good"
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 321d
Oh shit, Jordan Peterson is on Lemmy.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 321d
No. Not him. Anyone but him.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 321d
Define "anyone".
My statement was clear, and instead of addressing it you are trying to change the subject to arguing about definitions. I'm not biting.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 321d
He's not even a Christian
npcknapsack@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 321d
You guys, we have the best opportunity. Next time they hold a Rapture, we all just go completely cold turkey silent for like, three days. Let them all think they've been left behind. Then we all come back to social media and the rest of the real world on the third day like, "whoa, that was so cool, what was your favourite part of it?"
ghosthacked@lemmy.wtf · 15 pts · 321d
The files need to be released already. That's one thing I can agree with the cultists with
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 15 pts · 321d
It is so utterly insane that so many humans that I share this planet with are basically in a doomsday cult, and what really gets me is that you're considered an asshole or an extremist if you ever say something like "I hate the doomsday cult and the people in the doomsday cult are stupid". You get called intolerant etc etc. You're damn right I'm intolerant of a bunch of morons who have literally no incentive to care about the long-term well being of our planet and species. Just because the doomsday cultists happen to share the same name for their beliefs as people who are substantially less insane than them does not mean that they get a pass on being insane or that they get to be entitled to the same degree of respect that their less insane counterparts are entitled to.
I'm tempted to say well, at least they also want the Epstein files to be released. But the people with this type of mentality are just going to sit around waiting for some literal miracle to take place to release the files, because they believe in miracles and that's not an irrational plan of action as far as they're concerned.
stevedice@sh.itjust.works · -2 pts · 321d
By "doomsday cult", do you mean the very specific subset of Christians that follow the rapture conspiracy theory or all Christians? Because one of those answers is fun and games and the other actually does mean you're an asshole, extremist and intolerant.
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 321d
Yes, the other Christians are who I am referring to here. Although I do believe that the fundamental way of religious thinking (belief contrary to logic) does inevitably degrade into the behavior of the doomsday cult, in the same way that a seed inevitably becomes a plant given the conditions that it latently seeks out. So while I do not hate your everyday type Christian, I do think it is important not to create the conditions that they seek out, as that will result in a hate-worthy entity before long. The particular conditions, I believe, are an environment where they cannot be questioned, an environment where logical thinking is not valued, an unequal ability to disperse their beliefs while others cannot, etc. Given those conditions, harmless beliefs will expand to become harmful beliefs in the same way a liquid conforms to whatever container you put it in. This goes for any kind of belief, not just religious ones. But religion is a smart enough meme to encode the importance of creating that environment as part of its core values, which makes it a belief that is at especially greater risk of degrading into harmful behavior. This much is undeniable, as you hardly ever see people getting in doomsday cults over their favorite type of cheese or other non-religious beliefs.
So no, I don't mean all Christians, but in the same way that all Christians think I deserve to go to hell in my current state but may still treat me with kindness in hopes of what I may become, I believe all Christians deserve to be treated with suspicion and wariness in their current state in hopes of what they may NOT become. All things considered, I think it's a pretty de-escalating stance for me to take.
IndridCold@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 322d
The funny thing is the rapture actually happened. They didn't get plucked. Maybe they should figure out why and be better people.
Bahnd@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 322d
To add to this, the only person who did was that stoner that Michael in "The Good Place" has framed on his wall, because he knew too much/was the only human who (for a brief moment) knew roughly how the universe worked.
someguy3@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 322d
God needs to know who's on the Epstein list?
JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 322d
He needs everyone to know.
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d
He was going to give Santa a call and verify but they had a falling out after a leprechaun and the Easter Bunny played a prank on them last Halloween and neither figured out it wasn't the other who played the prank.
aceshigh@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 321d
sunflowercowboy@feddit.org · 2 pts · 321d
See you misunderstood the rapture, it is but children that think the lord is god.
Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken and the other left. Matthew 24:40
Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left. Matthew 24:41
Matthew 24:42
What lord do you know that has stripped the fields of their laborers? No regard of their ability or need to work, ungraciously taken.
God is greater than understanding.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 321d
God is Thanos?
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 322d
Release the Trump/Epstein files
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d
Needs a bigger font. I want it seen from space. Like the great wall of china.
xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 322d
*disclaimer: not actually seen from space. terms and conditions applies. all rights reserved.
maxxadrenaline@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 321d
Jesus loves the little children... all the children of the world....
phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 321d
Fundies think they can force God to do something.
If God existed, he'd be smacking them down hard for this level of arrogance.
Mirshe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 320d
Many fundies, especially Prosperity Gospel folks, see God as a vending machine - prayer goes in, whatever you ask for comes out.
MangioneDontMiss@feddit.nl · 9 pts · 321d
its not just christians that are disappointed TBH. I was really kinda hoping they were right this time...
stevedice@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 321d
A world without Christians?! Sign me in!
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 321d
If only prayer worked. I bet we could get a lot of people to ask God to take all his people ASAP even if we never get to see the Epstein file. The world would be a better place.
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 321d
Ah see it's thoughts and prayers. You need the thoughts also, to make sky daddy do his thing
onslaught545@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 322d
Isn't the Daily Star basically a tabloid, or am I thinking of something with a similar name?
It's also cute that right wing Christians think they'd be raptured since Jesus would be returning to, in part, punish the shit out of them.
PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 322d
The Star is somewhere between The Sun (a Rupert Murdoch spec tabloid rag with a "publish first, verify sources later" approach) and The Sport (contrary to its name, is less about the development and performance of elite ball games, and more about substituting the journalism with as much softcore pornography as possible).
Admittedly, the Star is highly entertaining - like the "nottheonion" comm in print form, with an approach more like a magazine than a newspaper. It's usually a fraction cheaper than most of the major tabloids too.
onslaught545@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 322d
It must be the Sun that I was thinking of.
iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 322d
I like pornography.
rimu@piefed.social · 5 pts · 322d
Yes, and, if you were using piefed.social there would be a little red warning icon next to any post that links to the daily star, with a popup saying "Tabloid".
S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 320d
Dang they truly believe US is the center of the world. Is absolutely baffling.
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 321d
They're so fucking self-important.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 322d
Theyre not going to be in the rolls anyway
stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 322d
Saw the picture thought you were saying Jeff was going to heaven 10/10 unintentional click bait.
TheObviousSolution@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 321d
The rapture happened, unfortunately the only guy they pulled up because he didn't follow proper procedures and suit up, so he's a stiff now. Still legally fulfilled according to celestial law.
circuscritic@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 322d
After reading most of the article, because frankly even that was too much, it sounds like it's people on Twitter trolling them.
Maybe it eventually got some buy-in from the unraptured, but that doesn't appear to be where the idea started.
BilliamBoberts@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 321d
God wants the epstein files
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 321d
What would an all knowing all seeing God want with some files ? (Or a starship?)
stevedice@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 321d
Only logical explanation is that He's on the files and is trying to keep them hidden.
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 320d
But an all knowing being would already know the future outcome of his efforts
BilliamBoberts@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 319d
His will is unknowable
Almacca@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 321d
It's the only possible explanation!
MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 322d
I don’t get it, Rapture was released back in 1981 by Blondie…
Is sheAre they doing a remaster?QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 322d
That would be difficult given Blondie is a band and not a “she”.
N0MAD@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 322d
I tell you one thing that really drives me nuts, is people who think that
Jethro TullBlondie is just a person in a band.QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 322d
I knew Debbie’s grandma. It was important we knew that her granddaughter wasn’t named Blondie.
N0MAD@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 322d
Its a quote from the movie Armageddon that sticks in my gray matter every time someone mentions Jethro Tull or a band that has a human sounding name that isn't named after a band member.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 322d
You can listen to any song any time you want these days, what's the problem?
https://youtu.be/pHCdS7O248g
lemmie689@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 322d
They just can't wait to get to that glorious pie in the sky.
MrSulu@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 321d
Ah, the old rule of unfounded consequence.
kokesh@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d
Oh Jesus.
someguy3@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 322d
Unlocking_Freedom@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 238d
JE is very much alive, whilst some of the victims are not.
August 9, 2019 Jeffrey Epstein (Jewish) is reported dead, released in July 2025, the Federal Bureau of Prisons release an 11 hour surveillance video of Jeffrey Epstein's upper atrium corridor, except it contains this sudden cut and minute removed from it. The footage has been transformed on the X axis and scaled about 3.5% on X axis so, again, there's no way to check frame by frame for repeat use frames.
The United States Department of Justice (DOJ) release the 11 hour prison surveillance in two modified versions :
https://www.justice.gov/video-files/video1.mp4 https://www.justice.gov/video-files/video2.mp4
The video at 11:21:34pm shows a mouse cursor moving over the released footage, which signifies this is not RAW video 'source footage’, the purest form of footage captured by the camera sensor. The FBI released a doctored version, through a video editing program. The timestamp at the beginning is 7:40:00pm and the last timestamp is 6:40:00am, but the video is 10:52:23 in length, meaning there's almost 7.5 minutes missing, not just this one minute, which is seen in the cut. The initial report tells us that Jeffrey Epstein (Jewish) was allowed to make an unscheduled, unrecorded phone call (unmonitored) to Epstein's mother (who was dead in 2004). Using a non inmate telephone system line to a local 646 area code, at 6:58pm, contrary to BOP policy but with the permission of a Unit Manager, which lasted until 7:19pm then Epstein was taken back to his cell, without a cellmate. Whose DNA is on the ligature, as the bodies are not identical? A double was placed in his cell. Was the FBI able to get any information from the jail cell's video and hall video? The photograph of the body being wheeled out, which is clearly not Jeffrey Epstein medics attempted intubation, on a already establish dead corpse, purposely to conceal paparazzi photographs of the head. Intubation is a process where a healthcare provider inserts a tube through a person's mouth or nose, then down into their trachea (airway/windpipe) Was the FBI able to get any information from the jail cell's video and hall video? Did the FBI interview any of the inmates? Did they interview any of the guards who were allegedly asleep? Were both guards drugged to simultaneously sleep? Rigor mortis is a postmortem change of taphonomic alterations, resulting in the stiffening of the body muscles due to chemical changes in their myofibrils. Rigor mortis helps in estimating the time since death as well to ascertain if the body had been moved after death What the authorities claim as "lack of evidence" is infact "the evidence" of : August 10th 2019 the event was not dealt with as a crime scene, required under legal process The "malfunction" of two cameras in front of the prison cell containing Epstein, which shows Epsteins death was feigned Epstein was supposed to be inspected every 30 minutes, this was not followed The two guards assigned to check Epstein's cell overnight, Noel and Michael Thomas, both simultaneously fell asleep at their desk At least some of the security cameras in the wing were not operating
https://www.printernational.co.uk/timmann2/history.htm#epstein