Your username has suddenly become your only means of staying alive. How bad is it?

No shit, Sherlock

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

Oh dear.

I dont like this game

Finally, my time to shine.

A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge

I’m just confused

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.

Pretty sure my time would be up.

I like my odds

I planned for this exact scenario

I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...

Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.

It’s great.

It’s the choice of a new generation.

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?

The cure is worse than the disease.

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

Guess Im poopin.

Pretty good I think!

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

I have meat at least

I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.

I guess something is better than nothing.

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

I'm used to it.

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

Can i manifest it as a super power?

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

I cast spells

Not happy about this, but present

I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽

I'm pretty happy.

I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

....... Ohhh.......

...... Ohhhh nooooo........

(unless it doesn't have to be literal if I can get a job voicing Facebones let's fuckin gooooo)

Oh fuck.

Uhhhh...

Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.

I'll be OK.

Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

Looks like I'm drinking my way out of this. Who wants a brewski?

Not nice

Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge

It's me or the other guy

At least I’ll be fed

I mean... I'm a pope and a king. I think I'll be alright.

Not too bad,

I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!

(And it's got a picture of a train!)

I'm... uhh. I think I'm screwed here.

May very well go up in flames, is how bad.

I feel pretty safe

Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.

I gotta eat pineapples

For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

I think I'll be ok.

I'm gonna have what plants crave.

Another day on the job, comrades

This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….

I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.

Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Si vous dites mon nom, vous comprendrez.

Not bad at all.

I spelt mine wrong.

Not so bad

It's bad.

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.

I think it'll be okay come night time.

Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal

could be worse

I'll be fine

My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger

Everyone will let the Wookie win?

Brb, loading up on carbs.

It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.

... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.

Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly

I’ll figure something out

I uh ... might be okay once I figure out what's going on

I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse

I guess I'm a rightwing pod caster now.

As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...

Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.

You got a quarter?

Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside

I certainly wont be starving to death!

I'm in luck! 😁

Sorry guys, the end times are on us, but at least they're cute and fluffy.

Has a slightly toxic, mysandristic taste to it, but overall the stew is much more palatable than anything else that came from this awkward creature.

Oh well, I'll die happy

I'll be just fine.

Well, fuck

It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?

Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.

:,(

With the US healthcare system? Expensive.

I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay

Ganon with the Morph Ball upgrade would be U N S T O P P A B L E

I'm a very old Musketeer.

Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...

People think I'm bullshitting all the time.

We musn't speak of him. He is legend.

I can live off soiled bread I suppose

The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

Pretty good actually.

It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.

McDonald's stocks go up 200%

Basically no change.

I'm aceing at it, sadly.

Ooo fishies

Link and Shulk, doing it 69 style, would have to be involved.

I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!

Well, I can hunt, I guess.

Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.

I'd be just fine.

Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.

I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.

I'm going to pick my nose!

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

I'm fucked.

If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?

Not a lot changes

I try to save money anyway, so I guess it’ll be ok. At least as long as nobody needs avenged.

I hope for your sake that your name isn't Jack.

Being a 'jockbox genius' means I'd be living on 'spam street', good buddy!

I guess this one is a bit of a freebie for me.

I would have to go back to reddit to get an "open in new tab" function. This username is actually because I created an account once (years ago) after nuking my first one just so I could have the "open in new tab" functionality back.

Porn i guess

I got an RC car... At least I'll die having fun.

I now rule a highly advanced, militaristic, and xenophobic alternate reality and have psionic abilities. It's not as great as is sounds, my future wife is going to psionically teleport a gray-goo bomb into my chest at the end of the big climactic boss fight.

I'm not gonna worry about it

I think I'd be alright.

My name is genuinely not actually Steve so I'm good

Most of them are dead, but Mr Burns has enough money to keep me going a while.

Monté Christo was quite skillful.

Not bad, especially if she comes with her ship.

im now a vampire with a slutty thrall?

i guess theres worse ways to live

your cash and your jewelry is what i expect

Mecha + Magic = Mechagic Im in a magic mecha, i think im doing well

But what if it didn't happen in my timeline?

Seems like a fun spell

I'm already dead

I need to work on my temper

I'm mostly fine, I hope

It doesn't have to be good, right?

Would be nice to be buzzed all the time

The walls are closing in...

Bollocks.

The Grasshopper Mouse kills scorpions and then screams about it afterwards, so I think I'll do alright.

Yeah I’m pretty fucked if my ability to stay alive is predicated upon my assembly programming abilities. Don’t ask me to multiply.

I'm fire proof, and a shit speller.

Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.

Curse this mortality, amiright fellow human?

I was once told "meco" is Spanish for semen (likely not the formal word but slang or something with a dialect). So... 50/50?

I feel like I'm not the one it's bad for.

I’m good.

Omnipotence helps.

I'll be fiiiiiine

I'm a fake Belgian/Dutchie.

Well, I was almost a music major.

shrugs I just do.

I... I don't know. I legitimately do not know.

Bout the same, but my life expectancy just got extended by around a factor of 2

I guess my fate is in the hands of the RNG gods.

Pretty good I think.

I’m pretty sure I’d be ok in multiple realities

Mine is the name of a character I used to play tabletop.

He was a Chaos Space Marine.

I think I'll be okay.

I guess I need to find a Gleemonex dealer.

Stressful mostly

Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.

I mean, probably wouldn't be bad initially. It would just get worse as time goes on.

Guess I'm a melee mercenary in a ranged weapons world now. Sucks, but at least I get self healing? Also an immunity, come to think of it.

Idk.

I'm just glad it's not rouge because then I'd likely be a prostitute.

Noisy.

Silver Wings of Morning is a Shatterling ship of Gentian Line. Shatterlings exist six million years in the future. The ship is so large that it contains other ships in its hanger.

I will have no trouble surviving in this futuristic ship.

No one knows.

Whatever it is, it’ll be tremendously important, but I won’t be able to convince anyone.

Suddenly I need to order a lot of explosives...

I'm good. Nom nom nom

Do you guys think Elon would let me take his SpaceX Starship in a time machine back to 2021 so I could fly to Mars and survive?

No, I do not have $4 billion to pay for this endeavor, I'll just take out a loan and tell the bank its for a scientific breakthrough.

Oh my, this is not gonna go well.

Bamboo-fed, succulent and juicy steaks

I'm already gone.

I mean, you tell me.

Make of me what you will…

If everyone dressed like me the world would be a much less violent place

I’m still here.

I’m a tree.

Pretty appropriate considering it means "The fuck is that?" where I'm from (not written the real way mind you, it would be "Quessé ça?" and that would still be "slang")

Welp, im a vampire now

(Universal Infinite Shadow of earth is what my username means soo...)

I guess it's kill or be killed...

I gotta get to Greece!

She has a shotgun. I should be okay.

Nothing changes for me.

Hmm

If the environment is game rich, I could do ok. But if we’re talking animals that are skittish and I can’t get close to, I’d starve. Could probably use the shaft as part of a bow drill to start a fire, so I’d have that going for me.

I'm not allowed to drink anything I guess

At least I'll never go hungry, but eventually I'll get sick of myself.

I think my username says it all. I'm kind of aloof and independent anyway so, being on my own is how I survive best. And nothing really gets me down, I don't own anyone else's sh#t and I just do my own thing and then I'm off on some other pursuit. I think it's sort of an ADHD but I love it kind of thing.

things just work out, it seems

I am in the Matrix where no one can find me.

"CanopyFlyer" is a reference to my skydiving days.

I have a tad over 4500 skydives.

Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I'd be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.

I hope I don’t need a boat. I’m fine if I need a lesbian.

I'm gonna be A-ok

Please, ya gotta help me Tony! I don't know what else to do!

I'm gonna need a bigger van.

I think for me, there'd be some sort of lord involved. Couldn't tell you what would happen, though.

... I think it'd be something you'd call an oxymoron.

So it's now a life and death situation for me to ensure cheetahs don't go extinct?

Sweet, I'm a wizard.

I wish I chose MeeKrob now.

Better than the next guy's.

I'm seriously.

I guess I am drilling wells? Maybe manageable.

My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast. I'll team up and be ok.

I mean, it’s pretty good name for a streamer I think, so I could probably do something there

At least I'll have food.

Bizzle is my legal name so I guess I'm chillin

Either really good, or really bad

Pumpkin seed oil every day 😋

Guess I'm eating a lot of waffles from now on

About the same.

Well at least my shoes will stay tied

Oh shit, I'm gonna have to remember how my past me did this the last time around.

I go to your wedding

Welp. I'm just dead. I can make it to level 6 or 7, but this game is the original souls-like.

I don't know how this is going to go down, but I believe this strange new world is full of regret for me and those around me.

I guess I'm doomed.

~Doom de doom doom de doom doom doom!

I think I have to steal things from glowing bugs.

Uhhhh, depends on if I'm jiggling the sackles or having the sackles jiggled?

Sigh... unzips

I mean, as a software developer I kinda already have the means to stay alive. I’m an underpaid one, but I’m alive non the less.

Well considering Huntress from dead by daylight is my namesake depends what she is supposed to keep me alive from. Starving in the post Apocalypse she has me covered, but if she's not bound there's a good chance I end up as dinner instead

I guess something involving swimming?

I am me. Nothing changes, all is well.

I'm just a civilian here.

Russian fucking roulette

I need uranium, fast!

I guess this tree has leaves on it I can eat?

I’m already dead

Need to find a way to become a lovecraftian horror stat

Name’s Donebrach. It ain’t foreign.

My opacity causes screen burn ins.

Itll either kill me in a burst of inspiration to the dome or be a very colorful and interesting way to kill people.

I would get paid to help people be assholes.

Long as I can evade the authorities I should make bank

If I die, you die. If I eat, you eat. If I drink, you drink. ...

Renere

Well..., by being charming?

Oh shit...

I can handle it..