I have this dream of building my own little socialist company town. where like, instead of people scraping by, we all get universal healthcare and walkable, tree-lined streets.
Basically spend it all making militant resistance cells around the United States, enable them to operate independently via sourcing cnc machines, 3D printers, and hobbyist electronics, then provide financial incentives to targeting other billionaires' assets or persons and/or hate groups and right wing think tanks.
This will continue until I'm arrested, run out of funds, or succeed.
99M in a trust fund for me, my immediate family, extended family and friends. We would live relatively modest and give generously.
901M would go to a wide assortment of charities and causes:
Fund my local foodbank for the next 50 years. Perhaps even a dynasty trust.
Tackle youth unemployment and unmet community needs through investing in non-market solutions. E.g. build greenhouses with raised beds in urban brownfield and greenfield property, hire local people to grow resilient local foods and donate them throughout the community. Some local old age homes had some complaints about food quality and budget and they wanted things like fresh ripe tomatoes. I'd given them 3 seasons worth for free and pay for the equipment, labour, insurance out of pocket. Local youth could get high school credits, jobs not just gardening, but designing and improve closed ag systems, plumbing, deep winter greenhouse design and engineering, logistics, everything. Good experience and spending money. Maybe turn into a market career for some.
Build a few multiplexes as high quality PassiveHousePlus and operate as self funded charity built and operated using only local labour for womans & homeless shelters
I have a few friends in social services and I guarenfuckentee a shitload of orphans and foster kids and poor kids supervised by children services would get new toys, clothes, shoes, bedding, pillows, christmas presents from a bad ass santa, art supplies, comic books, tuition, books, enrichment activity fees and more. Some have this through foster parents and public systems. Way too many don't.
I can't help everyone and even this money won't last long, but Imma go out swinging hard.
Buy up all the media outlets, especially Fox, and ACTUALLY turn them into progressive propaganda outlets.
Once actual progressives are in power, Lobby for government with the teeth to break up my big media empire monopoly and prevent a new one from forming.
Make a trust in each state to have local news outlets with good journalists.
Fund something to help find and stomp out propaganda bot/slave centers in other countries.
Lobby to regulate the fuck out of AI to stop its use as a programmable propaganda slop machine.
Next, I would love to upgrade and spoil the homeless shelter behind my work. I always fantasize about being able to afford food, socks and blankets to distribute.
Maybe, but at least other countries prosecute their rich and powerful when said rich and powerful person rapes kids/steals classified documents. Also, every other developed country is able to ensure their government is funded while giving every person health insurance.
First thing? Probably panic. Second thing? Probably try to wake myself up. Third thing? Probably try to find some rational way that I just got isekai’ed as a billionaire.
After it finally sank in, I’d probably consider lobbying for things before I lose touch with where I used to be. Right to repair, universal healthcare, UBI, etc…
You'd be fighting against other billionaires with established lobbying connections. I feel like you'd blow your billions and have nothing to show for it.
Maybe pay 500 musicians (generally my choice of music) x $20/hr x 3000 hours (about 1.5 person-years) (= $30 million) to write and record anything they want, but it has to be original and released into the public domain.
Exceptions could be made for derivatives of music already in the public domain.
Occasionally I might check on them for if they are composing, or composing and recording; and originality.
I might pay for novelty songs such as hard rock and heavy metal on horns; Suicide's Ghost Rider but replace synths with tuba and harmonica; nonagenarian socialist to do Kid Rock's Bawitdaba; Trump and Epstein look-a-likes do Nugent's Little Miss Dangerous; etc.
With a billion dollars?! I'm crying sad tears and laughing at the same time.
2 billion dollars of PAC money was spent in the 2024 presidential election.
That's a single year. One election cycle.
In order to overturn Citizen's United, you would need at least a couple of Supreme Court justices, too. So you need enough money to elect uncorrupted politicians to Congress, so that they can approve judges who are also not corrupt.
I think people HUGELY underestimate how much money flows into politics now that PACs are legal. Why the fuck else would Trump suddenly get interested in politics at his late stage in life?
1010 mountain bikes, 1000 to give away; a canoe; a little propeller-driven Cessna airplane; and a good non-Telsa non-Chinese electric car without the electronic-digital-internet-AI-bullshit frills might bring more and better satisfaction.
I'd quit my job, buy a small house for my partner and I and give enough to my family that they wouldn't have to worry about money again.
With the rest, I'd set up a trust that donates 1% per year in microgrants to free software maintainers who apply to it. Similar to NLnet, but with no strings attached beyond continuing to maintain the project.
Then, with all my free time, I'd also work on free software.
Dude right wouldn't it be wild if instead of taking as many nickels dimes and pennies as humanly and economically possible for any and every single purchase you just took like, still an insane life changing amount that would make you rich and were able to provide for your entire family on and put everyone else out of business?
"Turns out instead of taking 80% profit margins I got 30% instead and that's how I put Amazon out of business" meanwhile you're still able to be stinking rich with more than any human could possibly ever spend in 100 lifetimes.
Lots of perfectly valid answers here about decent humane things to do with the money and power, and I certainly hope I would do things like end homelessness or otherwise meaningfully improve the world.
That said.
I'd build a full-scale, 1:1 replica of the USS Enterprise, NCC 1701-D, from The Next Generation. I'd run it like the Biltmore; technically it would be a private residence, but I'd charge people to take tours. But any time I wanted, I could close it down for a few days and just hang out on the bridge or in main engineering and vibe out to the THRUM THRUM THRUM of the warp core.
Cutting off Israel will hurt the genociders even more.
If you're American, maybe run for President in 2028 on a "No to Israel" platform; put $100 million into it. Don't scare fellow Americans with extremist stuff, but feel free to insult your rivals. Maybe insult MAGAts as dumb fucks who'd take a bullet for Trump and get nothing.
I'd shut the fuck up. Pay off my house and maybe add an addition to where I'm at. Same with some relatives. Fix my Subaru the way I want it, buy a catterham.
Start buying people's debt for pennies on the dollar and cancelling it.
Well firstly there's no europe-wide standard. There's long scale and short scale, the US and many other countries use short scale (billion is 1000 millions). It usually goes by language, but there are exceptions: Spanish and Mexican Spanish are both long scale while USAn Spanish is short scale.
Short scale goes: million, billion, trillion
Long scale goes: million, milliard, billion, billiard, trillion, trilliard... etc.
Then in my language it goes: million, milliard, trillion, quadrillion. We use short scale but replace billion with milliard (miljard actually for the local spelling)
There are also other systems. Once you get to 10^5, India has names for every second power of ten rather than every third power. lakh is 1,00,000, crore is 1,00,00,000, etc. It's funny writing it out with double zeroes instead of triple lol
I would invest it. Every year, I would withdraw the profits, so that my net worth stayed approximately the same.
I would throw an event in a different city each year.
I would get that money ("earned" from doing nothing more than investing it) IN CASH.
All the cash would be loaded up in a plane and dropped in a public place. It would be a spectacle. No advertising needed, word of mouth and social media would be more than enough.
At each event, I would remind people that the money dropping from the sky is merely the crumbs from a single billionaire. Money that I did not earn. Money that was taken from the fruits of their labor and added to my stock portfolio.
I would ask them to imagine how much more money billionaires are hoarding. I would then bid them a fond farewell until next year.
Oh, and also, maybe a nice condo in southeast Asia. Thailand, maybe. Somewhere chill and fairly inexpensive. Not because I deserve a nicer place, but because fuckyouallI'mrichbitchstillnotatotaldickheadthough.
I'd probably put an entire university worth of professors on payroll, along with an army of neurodivergence specialists to make it so I could actually make use of them. If I had functionally infinite money I could become so fucking gigabrain. The saving the world stuff should go without saying since we are all ensouled beings unlike the ghoulish husks who actually have billions of dollars.
go find where Musk is and beat the ever living fuck out of him, I'll be able to access him easier with my billion dollars, after that just do shit to help my local community.
You know I think about this all the time. A lot of those rich fucks are on the hook for meetings and bulshit all the time. If I had to wake up at 430 am every morning to get ready for meetings would it even be worth it to be rich?
We'll.... Yes, probably lol but still it makes me feel better about it. At least I can kind of choose myown schedule with my current job. Not rich but I do get to sleep in sometimes.
And sometimes, every once in a while, that is priceless.
Triple-check that's it's real, make sure to secure it in multiple ways, then research charities so I can give most of it away. A couple of million € would already afford me all the luxuries that I could care about.
Not even sure what I'd actually spend money on that would improve my life. I seem to be accumulating medical issues that are difficult to diagnose, let alone treat; not sure that even a billion dollars would actually help much with that (we do have a somewhat sensible healthcare system in my country). I'd probably look into hiring some kind of personal assistant/caretaker/chauffeur, to improve my odds of actually making it to important appointments (or just having them do it for me, if it doesn't require that I personally show up).
Besides paying off my debt and repairing my house as well as installing a geothermal heat pump, set up investments, basically all the normal shit one would do if they suddenly got a large windfall?
Buy up land to turn into forests, figure out a way to set it up in trusts or something such that nobody will have the right to do a full clear cut for timber any time soon, but maintenance cuts are fine.
Set up about a gigawatt worth of wind power generation in my country if the billions are multiple rather than exactly a billion euros or dollars or whatever. Our power usage peaks at around 1.6 gigawatts in the winter. Wind's unpredictable and I don't expect it to completely fill all demand, but rather make electricity so cheap that the fossil plants wouldn't turn a profit most of the time. Solar would be nice too, but it's borderline useless for about 2-4 months a year, I've forgotten the exact numbers.
Can't change the world with a few billion, but could noticeably improve one particular corner of it - and one that has a particularly dirty power grid at that. Driving an EV is STILL as bad as an ICE here because in the winter our electricity comes not from something as beautifully clean as coal or gas, but fucking shale rock...
Bonus, not only would I improve the availability of cheap green power, our government is currently partially funding heating system conversions from SFHs in cities and small towns, to replace solid fuel furnaces with heat pumps (ideally) or at least newer, cleaner burning furnaces, with the goal of improving air quality. Meaning the government would essentially be helping people make the most of the cheaper and greener electricity.
cancel my benefits. tell my wife. I mean I would start trying to figure out my money but if a surface look indicated I was going to be set for life no matter what I do and if all the financials had some setup im sure we would definately take an extended vacay of no planning. Just go and do what we want and indulge. After a bit would start figuring out how to do something useful outside of be hedonistic and figure out where we want to live and such.
Host an anonymous scholarship program for 800 million to throw the money away while giving education opportunities to people in poverty, donate 100 mil to open source projects I use. invest 90 mil to have a steady income throughout the rest of my life.
I can live a satisfying life just with 10 mil, and the income generated from investments would be a good safety net, but I'm not really a high end luxury seeker.
Buy a house and car for every one of my family members. After that I'd set aside a few million to live off the interest and spend the rest on actually fixing problems billionaires and the government refuse to do. Make a robust food distribution system that drastically reduces hunger in the world, build cheap affordable housing in rich people's neighborhoods, buy out land for the express purpose of installing a proper rail system across the state of California, that sort of thing.
Call a fiduciary firm in LA and have them start The Sovereign Fund for Humanity's Poor, and promptly deposit all but $10,000,000 into that. I would hire 5 people to run it. Three fiduciary's and two data analysts. The fiduciary's must be from different financial centers, the data analysts must be from Oxfam. The purpose of the fund will be to use the ROI to create trusts for the poorest people in the world first. I'd basically be privatizing UBI in about 500 years.
Think really really hard if I'm going to work or not. I'd probably go just for the pleasure of being there with a smile and the biggest "I don't give a fuck" attitude ever.
help SO many people. I'd build homeless shelters etc. I always had the dream of building a whole shitload of apartments, and offering them on a sliding scale, or free if homeless. Hell, I'd be a billionaire. I'd probably just offer thme free anyway
Hey now, it's only a billion dollars. Lets not get crazy and plan on buying expensive things. It'd probably be cheaper to just buy the moon than to buy good health insurance.
Buy land, start a building company and build apartments. Then I would turn each building into a cooperative so that only those who live in it are in control.
And I would sponsor Deutschlandtickets for low income people.
From what's left I'd buy a big house and invite my queer and trans friends from mainly the US and UK to live with me.
The premise is like... magic or something, dude. The premise is not that you are a philosophical zombie and gain billions of dollars through actual capitalism only to one day suddenly gain sentience.
OK how about this actually... All the money came from deleting the existing billionaires from reality.
Alternate premise would be "What if everyone in the world would give you anything or do any service for you for free, feel good about it, and be enriched by it in whatever way needed for it not to be exploitative"
I have no idea how much retirement would cost (with buffer for needing care in advanced age since we have no children), so I pulled a number out of my ass with a lot of buffer
If invested and it grows, that's just more I can give away later. Again with the childless thing, anything we had left would go to charitable causes
50 mil is 5% of a billion dollars so ~95% of what I got would be moved to decent causes from the get-go
Perfect is the enemy of good and I never claimed to have some moral highground to begin with. Doing (at least in my opinion) good things with 95% of the money given to me certainly is better than 0% of it.
start a gameshow that has three contestants that have to run while five people hunt them down. the whole time they're running from the hunters people on the streets can turn them in for a reward.
when they're finally caught, we kill them live on air.
185 Comments
schwim@piefed.zip · 174 pts · 140d
Pay my taxes and not rape children.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 140d
Yeah, yah, that's what they ALL say.
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 140d
This should be the bare minimum response from everyone. If you can't even clear this bar...you should not be allowed to participate.
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 140d
A low bar to be sure,but it could be worse.
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 140d
It's apparently one a lot of billionaires struggle with too.
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 13 pts · 140d
Whoa, look at this communist, socialist person here! I bet they hate fascists too!
Dasus@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 139d
Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 138d
Ah, I see you are not an American billionaire.
yizus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
Look at goody two-shoes over here!
ada@piefed.blahaj.zone · 100 pts · 140d
Turn myself in to a millionaire
nixukty@lemmy.zip · 28 pts · 140d
technically if you woke up with $1 billion you can spend $1 and no longer be a billionaire, with $999 million
disregardable@lemmy.zip · 55 pts · 140d
I have this dream of building my own little socialist company town. where like, instead of people scraping by, we all get universal healthcare and walkable, tree-lined streets.
AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 140d
I have had the exact same dream. I shall note your username in case any of my crazy ideas is ever profitable enough to start a company lol
WR5@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 138d
I mean you could just disregard their username. It's disregardable.
serpineslair@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 140d
Take notes from Bioshock and don't build it underwater... And skip the whole genetic modification thing too, ig.
MycelialMass@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 139d
Is a man not entitled to the sweat on his brow?
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 138d
Or you could just move to Sweden and save yourself some money?
ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip · 44 pts · 140d
Basically spend it all making militant resistance cells around the United States, enable them to operate independently via sourcing cnc machines, 3D printers, and hobbyist electronics, then provide financial incentives to targeting other billionaires' assets or persons and/or hate groups and right wing think tanks.
This will continue until I'm arrested, run out of funds, or succeed.
....then I'd buy a sammich.
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 140d
What kind of sammich?
ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip · 19 pts · 140d
Roast bitch ass billionaire.
But fr, probably a pastrami..... Like a REALLY good pastrami.
Sineljora@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 139d
Yes! “Make 2500 Luigis” is the best answer.
ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 139d
Huh? Luigi didn't shoot that guy...
Fredselfish@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 140d
What I do would be redacted here, but when I am done there would be no more billionaires.
darkdemize@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 140d
It's fine, this isn't Reddit.
mech@feddit.org · 15 pts · 140d
Just a heads-up: Everything on the fediverse is 100% public, forever.
Even though it feels like a super-secret conspiratory club sometimes.
P1nkman@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 140d
No, it's not. Posts encouraging violence (or mentioning that they will kill X) is against the community guidelines..
Source:
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 2 pts · 140d
But does that still result in a ban or just a warning?
P1nkman@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 140d
From my experience, the comment is just removed. Nothing else.
huquad@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 138d
This is the way
kboos1@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 140d
He'd probably wonder why I was in his house
Klear@quokk.au · 5 pts · 140d
"Good morning! I'm here to talk to you about UBI!"
Nemo@slrpnk.net · 27 pts · 140d
Hit snooze.
mech@feddit.org · 26 pts · 140d
I'd put him back to sleep 💁♀️
slazer2au@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 140d
Permanently?
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 140d
99M in a trust fund for me, my immediate family, extended family and friends. We would live relatively modest and give generously.
901M would go to a wide assortment of charities and causes:
Build a few multiplexes as high quality PassiveHousePlus and operate as self funded charity built and operated using only local labour for womans & homeless shelters
I have a few friends in social services and I guarenfuckentee a shitload of orphans and foster kids and poor kids supervised by children services would get new toys, clothes, shoes, bedding, pillows, christmas presents from a bad ass santa, art supplies, comic books, tuition, books, enrichment activity fees and more. Some have this through foster parents and public systems. Way too many don't.
I can't help everyone and even this money won't last long, but Imma go out swinging hard.
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 140d
It depends on which billionaire I’m supposedly waking up. Sounds like a shitty job though.
IlmariGanander@lemmy.wtf · 19 pts · 140d
Buy up all the media outlets, especially Fox, and ACTUALLY turn them into progressive propaganda outlets.
Once actual progressives are in power, Lobby for government with the teeth to break up my big media empire monopoly and prevent a new one from forming.
Make a trust in each state to have local news outlets with good journalists.
Fund something to help find and stomp out propaganda bot/slave centers in other countries.
Lobby to regulate the fuck out of AI to stop its use as a programmable propaganda slop machine.
TheTimeKnife@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 139d
First thing?
Probably buy my wife something nice.
Next, I would love to upgrade and spoil the homeless shelter behind my work. I always fantasize about being able to afford food, socks and blankets to distribute.
First selfish thing? Build a new computer.
MrSelfDestruct25@fedinsfw.app · 16 pts · 140d
Hire people to clean the house. White house.
tomi000@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 139d
Probably fuck some kids to blend in
/s
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 140d
I'd take my family and leave behind the shithole that is the United States. God, I hate it here because of Republicans.
Uranus_Hz@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 140d
Unfortunately, there are assholes everywhere.
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 140d
Maybe, but at least other countries prosecute their rich and powerful when said rich and powerful person rapes kids/steals classified documents. Also, every other developed country is able to ensure their government is funded while giving every person health insurance.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 5 pts · 140d
They're rapidly defunding the social safety nets and privacy protection in the countries you mean.
kozy138@slrpnk.net · 15 pts · 140d
Two thousand girls at the same time.
darkdemize@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 140d
Fuckin' A.
PetteriPano@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 140d
Same as I do every morning. A big mug of coffee and a big shit.
No amount of money would change that.
sanguinepar@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 140d
You could afford a bigger mug though.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 140d
And a warm Japanese toilet, with lights and music.
PetteriPano@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 139d
Yeah, but I'm not gonna go mug shopping until I've had my coffee
mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 139d
First thing? Probably panic. Second thing? Probably try to wake myself up. Third thing? Probably try to find some rational way that I just got isekai’ed as a billionaire.
After it finally sank in, I’d probably consider lobbying for things before I lose touch with where I used to be. Right to repair, universal healthcare, UBI, etc…
AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 139d
rkw_social@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 139d
You'd be fighting against other billionaires with established lobbying connections. I feel like you'd blow your billions and have nothing to show for it.
AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 139d
Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 138d
I was thinking this too like "I'd be the lobbyist you would want to be lobbying"
DMCMNFIBFFF@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 139d
Maybe pay 500 musicians (generally my choice of music) x $20/hr x 3000 hours (about 1.5 person-years) (= $30 million) to write and record anything they want, but it has to be original and released into the public domain.
Exceptions could be made for derivatives of music already in the public domain.
Occasionally I might check on them for if they are composing, or composing and recording; and originality.
I might pay for novelty songs such as hard rock and heavy metal on horns; Suicide's Ghost Rider but replace synths with tuba and harmonica; nonagenarian socialist to do Kid Rock's Bawitdaba; Trump and Epstein look-a-likes do Nugent's Little Miss Dangerous; etc.
yizus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
Start strategically: just buy your way into overturning money in politics. Fire with fire baby!!!
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
With a billion dollars?! I'm crying sad tears and laughing at the same time.
2 billion dollars of PAC money was spent in the 2024 presidential election.
That's a single year. One election cycle.
In order to overturn Citizen's United, you would need at least a couple of Supreme Court justices, too. So you need enough money to elect uncorrupted politicians to Congress, so that they can approve judges who are also not corrupt.
I think people HUGELY underestimate how much money flows into politics now that PACs are legal. Why the fuck else would Trump suddenly get interested in politics at his late stage in life?
tumblechinchilla@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 139d
Turn my country the fuck around so that public servants represent people and decisions are made to improve the lives of people.
redsand@infosec.pub · 12 pts · 139d
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 13 pts · 139d
Sorry about your parents...
DMCMNFIBFFF@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 139d
1010 mountain bikes, 1000 to give away; a canoe; a little propeller-driven Cessna airplane; and a good non-Telsa non-Chinese electric car without the electronic-digital-internet-AI-bullshit frills might bring more and better satisfaction.
Asafum@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 140d
Guillotine myself. I can't let myself be a hypocrite lol
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 140d
Put out hit contracts on the other billionaires.
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 140d
Completely squandering the endless possibilities of being the first billionaire with a soul
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 11 pts · 140d
Lots of folks would get their debt paid off.
Lots of folks would get fed real good.
Lots of folks would get seed money to make their thing or do their art/thing/whatever
Lots of folks would get to do some sick drugs.
Etc.
I’d just spend it all until I spread the wealth around.
ambitiousslab@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 139d
I'd quit my job, buy a small house for my partner and I and give enough to my family that they wouldn't have to worry about money again.
With the rest, I'd set up a trust that donates 1% per year in microgrants to free software maintainers who apply to it. Similar to NLnet, but with no strings attached beyond continuing to maintain the project.
Then, with all my free time, I'd also work on free software.
DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 139d
Destroy capitalism by out competing everyone.
Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 138d
Dude right wouldn't it be wild if instead of taking as many nickels dimes and pennies as humanly and economically possible for any and every single purchase you just took like, still an insane life changing amount that would make you rich and were able to provide for your entire family on and put everyone else out of business?
"Turns out instead of taking 80% profit margins I got 30% instead and that's how I put Amazon out of business" meanwhile you're still able to be stinking rich with more than any human could possibly ever spend in 100 lifetimes.
YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 140d
Cocaine then a sub to check out Titanic. Pretty standard, really.
in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social · 10 pts · 140d
These comments prove billionaires are hoarders with a mental illness. Nobody here is looking to make more billions.
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 140d
True, but none of us have actually been tested. How many of us could taste real power and walk away?
The closest proxy is maybe lottery winners. Some invest, some fall flat on spending orgies. Almost none walk away.
in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social · 1 pts · 136d
You're just describing symptoms of the disease. The problem is that this "power" exists in the first place.
Triumph@fedia.io · 9 pts · 140d
Pee.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 8 pts · 140d
Call a tax lawyer/pay taxes, call a financial planner, and figure out what other calls I'd need to make to set up and fund a couple of charities.
Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 138d
I'm not a fan of cannibalism, but I guess waking up a billionaire would make for a good breakfast opportunity.
erev@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 138d
It's not cannibalism; billionaires don't have enough empathy to be considered human
Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
Ouch!
GraniteM@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 138d
Lots of perfectly valid answers here about decent humane things to do with the money and power, and I certainly hope I would do things like end homelessness or otherwise meaningfully improve the world.
That said.
I'd build a full-scale, 1:1 replica of the USS Enterprise, NCC 1701-D, from The Next Generation. I'd run it like the Biltmore; technically it would be a private residence, but I'd charge people to take tours. But any time I wanted, I could close it down for a few days and just hang out on the bridge or in main engineering and vibe out to the THRUM THRUM THRUM of the warp core.
But solve homelessness first, of course.
MonkeMischief@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 138d
There we go, there's the childlike wonder and whimsy we so desperately need.
Make it so! :D
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 139d
Well if he woke up obviously the first stab didn't kill him so I'd stab him again.
Sabata11792@ani.social · 8 pts · 140d
I'd lobby politicians into bombing Israel, I think they need a turn.
DMCMNFIBFFF@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 139d
Iran's doing that already.
Cutting off Israel will hurt the genociders even more.
If you're American, maybe run for President in 2028 on a "No to Israel" platform; put $100 million into it. Don't scare fellow Americans with extremist stuff, but feel free to insult your rivals. Maybe insult MAGAts as dumb fucks who'd take a bullet for Trump and get nothing.
brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 140d
I'd shut the fuck up. Pay off my house and maybe add an addition to where I'm at. Same with some relatives. Fix my Subaru the way I want it, buy a catterham.
Start buying people's debt for pennies on the dollar and cancelling it.
kiki@feddit.org · 1 pts · 139d
And what about the other 950 million dollar?
AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 140d
Get me, my family, and my friends the fuck out of the US
demonmariner@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 140d
Put him to sleep agai, with a brick.
snoons@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 140d
Hire a fukn lawyer D:
frankenswine@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 140d
get up
RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 140d
Probably yell WOOHOO.
Next is quit my job.
A new off-grid house. We have a lot of power outages here every winter.
An older used car (I want nothing to do with a new car which are basically rolling spyware).
Start helping the worse off in my area such as the homeless and those living below the poverty line.
BussyCat@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 139d
You are a billionaire you can custom design a new car with no spyware using reliable parts from other large brands
RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 139d
Very true but that will take time, months at a minimum.
sturmblast@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 140d
Begin process of leaving the USA.
bufalo1973@piefed.social · 6 pts · 139d
American billionaire (1000 millions) or European billionaire (1 million millions)?
Burninator05@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
I didn't realize there was a difference. What do Europeans call 1,000,000,000?
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 138d
Well firstly there's no europe-wide standard. There's long scale and short scale, the US and many other countries use short scale (billion is 1000 millions). It usually goes by language, but there are exceptions: Spanish and Mexican Spanish are both long scale while USAn Spanish is short scale.
Short scale goes: million, billion, trillion
Long scale goes: million, milliard, billion, billiard, trillion, trilliard... etc.
Then in my language it goes: million, milliard, trillion, quadrillion. We use short scale but replace billion with milliard (miljard actually for the local spelling)
There are also other systems. Once you get to 10^5, India has names for every second power of ten rather than every third power. lakh is 1,00,000, crore is 1,00,00,000, etc. It's funny writing it out with double zeroes instead of triple lol
Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 139d
Build out swathes of affordable housing/mixed use properties in large enough numbers to drive down the prices city wide.
Beth@piefed.social · 6 pts · 140d
JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social · 6 pts · 140d
Buy a house far far away and leave this cesspool I currently call home.
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 138d
Take a day off?
Generica@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 138d
vane@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 139d
Take biggest loan(s) and sell everything I own. Buy big storage space with wall full of leaf blowers and blow the money for the rest of my life.
lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 140d
If i woke up a billionaire, I would tell him to pay some taxes to avoid the guillotine in a couple years.
DFX4509B@lemmy.wtf · 6 pts · 140d
Leave the US for a country that hasn't turned into a dictatorship yet.
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 138d
I would invest it. Every year, I would withdraw the profits, so that my net worth stayed approximately the same.
I would throw an event in a different city each year.
I would get that money ("earned" from doing nothing more than investing it) IN CASH.
All the cash would be loaded up in a plane and dropped in a public place. It would be a spectacle. No advertising needed, word of mouth and social media would be more than enough.
At each event, I would remind people that the money dropping from the sky is merely the crumbs from a single billionaire. Money that I did not earn. Money that was taken from the fruits of their labor and added to my stock portfolio.
I would ask them to imagine how much more money billionaires are hoarding. I would then bid them a fond farewell until next year.
Oh, and also, maybe a nice condo in southeast Asia. Thailand, maybe. Somewhere chill and fairly inexpensive. Not because I deserve a nicer place, but because fuckyouallI'mrichbitchstillnotatotaldickheadthough.
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 140d
I'd probably put an entire university worth of professors on payroll, along with an army of neurodivergence specialists to make it so I could actually make use of them. If I had functionally infinite money I could become so fucking gigabrain. The saving the world stuff should go without saying since we are all ensouled beings unlike the ghoulish husks who actually have billions of dollars.
frog_brawler@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 138d
AlfalFaFail@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 138d
That's it? If you had a billion dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
MufinMcFlufin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
They're making a reference to Office Space.
AlfalFaFail@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 138d
I know. What I wrote was Pete's follow up.
MufinMcFlufin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 137d
Ah my bad, I guess it's been longer than I realized since I've last seen the movie.
dumbass@piefed.social · 5 pts · 140d
go find where Musk is and beat the ever living fuck out of him, I'll be able to access him easier with my billion dollars, after that just do shit to help my local community.
ohhierrybody@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 140d
Get the fuck out of this country
ieGod@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 138d
Finally sleep in.
Coconut1233@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 138d
Exactly, finally get some sleep
Skankhunt420@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 138d
You know I think about this all the time. A lot of those rich fucks are on the hook for meetings and bulshit all the time. If I had to wake up at 430 am every morning to get ready for meetings would it even be worth it to be rich?
We'll.... Yes, probably lol but still it makes me feel better about it. At least I can kind of choose myown schedule with my current job. Not rich but I do get to sleep in sometimes.
And sometimes, every once in a while, that is priceless.
merc@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 140d
The problem is that everything I'd want to do would be opposed by other billionaires worth hundreds of billions.
LunarLoony@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 140d
If you were smart with your §1b, you could make it grow and move against the other billionaires.
merc@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 139d
You'd never live long enough to grow your $1b into enough to worry someone like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, etc.
FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 140d
I'd see a tax advisor and then a portfolio manager, and book driving lessons.
Next day I'd pay off my student loans
Konstant@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 139d
hemmes@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 140d
Go back to sleep
Nikls94@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 140d
Trying to figure out how to tax them so I won’t get in trouble.
OR I’ll go to some remote island.
Konstant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 139d
Nikls94@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 139d
There’s only one island for billionaires
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 140d
Probably cry from confusion as to how I became a billionaire??
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 4 pts · 140d
Triple-check that's it's real, make sure to secure it in multiple ways, then research charities so I can give most of it away. A couple of million € would already afford me all the luxuries that I could care about.
Not even sure what I'd actually spend money on that would improve my life. I seem to be accumulating medical issues that are difficult to diagnose, let alone treat; not sure that even a billion dollars would actually help much with that (we do have a somewhat sensible healthcare system in my country). I'd probably look into hiring some kind of personal assistant/caretaker/chauffeur, to improve my odds of actually making it to important appointments (or just having them do it for me, if it doesn't require that I personally show up).
Tiger666@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 140d
Create a worldwide socialist revolution.
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 138d
Besides paying off my debt and repairing my house as well as installing a geothermal heat pump, set up investments, basically all the normal shit one would do if they suddenly got a large windfall?
Buy up land to turn into forests, figure out a way to set it up in trusts or something such that nobody will have the right to do a full clear cut for timber any time soon, but maintenance cuts are fine.
Set up about a gigawatt worth of wind power generation in my country if the billions are multiple rather than exactly a billion euros or dollars or whatever. Our power usage peaks at around 1.6 gigawatts in the winter. Wind's unpredictable and I don't expect it to completely fill all demand, but rather make electricity so cheap that the fossil plants wouldn't turn a profit most of the time. Solar would be nice too, but it's borderline useless for about 2-4 months a year, I've forgotten the exact numbers.
Can't change the world with a few billion, but could noticeably improve one particular corner of it - and one that has a particularly dirty power grid at that. Driving an EV is STILL as bad as an ICE here because in the winter our electricity comes not from something as beautifully clean as coal or gas, but fucking shale rock...
Bonus, not only would I improve the availability of cheap green power, our government is currently partially funding heating system conversions from SFHs in cities and small towns, to replace solid fuel furnaces with heat pumps (ideally) or at least newer, cleaner burning furnaces, with the goal of improving air quality. Meaning the government would essentially be helping people make the most of the cheaper and greener electricity.
murmelade@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 139d
Buy politicians.
jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 140d
Start trying to figure out the best way to give away most of it.
reksas@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 138d
i would start looking for causes to fund. extinction rebellion for example would get quite hefty sum
HubertManne@piefed.social · 4 pts · 139d
cancel my benefits. tell my wife. I mean I would start trying to figure out my money but if a surface look indicated I was going to be set for life no matter what I do and if all the financials had some setup im sure we would definately take an extended vacay of no planning. Just go and do what we want and indulge. After a bit would start figuring out how to do something useful outside of be hedonistic and figure out where we want to live and such.
django@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 140d
Buy one more bicycle and then figure out how the money can help me to make my city or at least the neighbourhood car-free.
classic@fedia.io · 3 pts · 140d
top of my list would be similar: reclaim as many greenways and creeks in my town as possible
Linktank@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 140d
Buy back the politicians.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 140d
Make sure I'm not still asleep and dreaming.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 140d
Start giving lectures about the antichrist, buy a barrel of ketamine, pay women to sleep on a bed of cornflakes.
DeepThought42@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 140d
Call my accountant
rodneylives@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 138d
Find everyone in my life who has money issues and give them each a million.
Stormy@thelemmy.club · 2 pts · 138d
yizus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 138d
Satan’s on the phone, he’s looking for someone to brainstorm with…
GameOverFlow@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 140d
Dunno, maybe hate on poor people?
AmazingSUPERG@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 140d
I am so boring I would stick it in my savings account and live off the interest.
OR take a few million and sponsor a Formula 1 team with a made up name and travel with the team for a year.
Bwaz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 138d
Tell him to go back to sleep before he can start up any more damage
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 138d
Get rid of it, that much money is toxic. I’d throw it at every good cause I could, buy a modest house, and get back to being broke as soon as I could.
FrChazzz@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 140d
Ask them why they won’t give their money to those in need?
I don’t know. I’m just surprised no one else read this sentence as though they were waking up some billionaire from their slumber.
some_designer_dude@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 139d
Become Batman and use my wealth to hunt my new peers.
drmoose@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 138d
Give most of it away to free software foundation and put couple million to an low yield ethical index fund and start packing for some traveling.
CaptainBasculin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 138d
Host an anonymous scholarship program for 800 million to throw the money away while giving education opportunities to people in poverty, donate 100 mil to open source projects I use. invest 90 mil to have a steady income throughout the rest of my life.
I can live a satisfying life just with 10 mil, and the income generated from investments would be a good safety net, but I'm not really a high end luxury seeker.
Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 140d
Buy a house and car for every one of my family members. After that I'd set aside a few million to live off the interest and spend the rest on actually fixing problems billionaires and the government refuse to do. Make a robust food distribution system that drastically reduces hunger in the world, build cheap affordable housing in rich people's neighborhoods, buy out land for the express purpose of installing a proper rail system across the state of California, that sort of thing.
Jaybird@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 139d
Vandalismo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 138d
Buy Argentina.
yizus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 138d
You’re lucky, buy it in cash and you get Venezuela half off.
Also, we have a great deal on US rust belt states, if you’re interested…
Arcane2077@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 140d
Get them breakfast?
IWW4@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 140d
Quit my job
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 138d
Call a fiduciary firm in LA and have them start The Sovereign Fund for Humanity's Poor, and promptly deposit all but $10,000,000 into that. I would hire 5 people to run it. Three fiduciary's and two data analysts. The fiduciary's must be from different financial centers, the data analysts must be from Oxfam. The purpose of the fund will be to use the ROI to create trusts for the poorest people in the world first. I'd basically be privatizing UBI in about 500 years.
quediuspayu@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 140d
Think really really hard if I'm going to work or not. I'd probably go just for the pleasure of being there with a smile and the biggest "I don't give a fuck" attitude ever.
osanna@lemmy.vg · 2 pts · 138d
help SO many people. I'd build homeless shelters etc. I always had the dream of building a whole shitload of apartments, and offering them on a sliding scale, or free if homeless. Hell, I'd be a billionaire. I'd probably just offer thme free anyway
cdzero@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 140d
First thing? I'd go and fill the car up. Probably pay for a few other people's petrol while I'm there.
(Public transport is good, delayed government projects to implement it are not, actually fuck it I'll go fund the train line myself )
Theroddd@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 137d
Make friends with Luigi.
Rhoeri@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 140d
Probably wake up.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 140d
Get health insurance, a good one
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 140d
Hey now, it's only a billion dollars. Lets not get crazy and plan on buying expensive things. It'd probably be cheaper to just buy the moon than to buy good health insurance.
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 140d
Nothing.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 138d
If I woke up as a billionaire tomorrow I'd probably sleep in.
Jumi@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 139d
Buy land, start a building company and build apartments. Then I would turn each building into a cooperative so that only those who live in it are in control.
And I would sponsor Deutschlandtickets for low income people.
From what's left I'd buy a big house and invite my queer and trans friends from mainly the US and UK to live with me.
verdi@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 2 pts · 140d
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 140d
Good for you man super virtuous and all but that's not the premise
verdi@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 1 pts · 140d
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 140d
The premise is like... magic or something, dude. The premise is not that you are a philosophical zombie and gain billions of dollars through actual capitalism only to one day suddenly gain sentience.
verdi@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 1 pts · 140d
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 140d
OK how about this actually... All the money came from deleting the existing billionaires from reality.
Alternate premise would be "What if everyone in the world would give you anything or do any service for you for free, feel good about it, and be enriched by it in whatever way needed for it not to be exploitative"
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 140d
You're ruining the game!!
verdi@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 1 pts · 140d
Generica@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 138d
Hookers and coke for the win!!
tiredofsametab@fedia.io · 2 pts · 138d
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 138d
It cracks me up that people are like "Hoarding a billion dollars is just morally wrong, so I'll hoard $50 million instead and be a good person."
Pick a lane, people. Hoard the wealth or don't hoard the wealth, but stop feeling guilty about an imaginary scenario.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 138d
That's two orders of magnitude different. It's like a dollar versus a hundred dollars. That doesn't sound hypocritical at all.
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 137d
It's not though?
1,000,000,000/50,000,000 = 1:20 ratio
It's like $20 vs. $1
Except it's still not that. Because whether you've got $1 or $20, it's still a negligible amount of money.
$50 million is enough money to easily collect $1,000,000 in interest every year. Use that as income, keep the rest invested and it would still grow.
Generational wealth. The kind of wealth that creates people like Donald Trump. More money than any single person needs.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 1 pts · 137d
Again, those are an order of magnitude different.
MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 137d
Yeah...you're going to have to remind me again what point you're trying to make?
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 1 pts · 137d
An order of magnitude isn't negligible.
tiredofsametab@fedia.io · 1 pts · 138d
A few things:
StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 140d
Debt then financial advisor, only splurge might be a new video card and some ram
webkitten@piefed.social · 1 pts · 138d
humanspiral@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 138d
so much lottery tickets!!!!!
Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 139d
Build a fuggerei 2.0
daggermoon@piefed.world · 1 pts · 140d
What do you guys think I should do?
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 140d
Donate 99% as taxes to the city.
Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 138d
Donate 900 million, give to friends and family 90 million, invest 10 million
yizus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 138d
The question is: donate to whom?
Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 138d
Good question, it would take some serious research but I would spread it over many different foundations and non profits.
I also wouldn't donate it all at once, I will donate it in donations that are relative to the places' needs over several years.
shut@lemmy.pt · 1 pts · 138d
brush my teeth
hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 137d
give all the money to a homeless charity and then kill myself, same feelings is if i woke up and realized id raped a bunch of kids..
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 139d
start a gameshow that has three contestants that have to run while five people hunt them down. the whole time they're running from the hunters people on the streets can turn them in for a reward.
when they're finally caught, we kill them live on air.
SlippiHUD@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 140d
Redevelop my city to be more walkable/bikeable and better Public transport.
FRYD@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 140d