It's all fun and games until you say it to someone who happens to be a cop and then he takes it as evidence of guilt for some unspecified crime so he begins stalking and harassing you and making your life hell until you have a mental breakdown and then he books you for disorderly conduct.
I was going to say that I say âoccupiedâ because Iâm used to Spanish âocupado.â Up until then I was never sure in English despite it being my first language.
I don't know if it was intentional, but I like how your riddle option feels like you are so disappointed that nobody ever gets all 3 riddles from "answer these riddles three" and in your loneliness you have just dropped 2 of the riddles and the last remaining riddle is so basic that you can take just about any response as a correct answer.
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
When I met my to-be brother-in-law for the first time 9 years ago (he was 19 then, for context), he was in a public restroom. My to-be mother-in-law called in and said "Hey bub, you in there?"
"Hey, mom. Yea. I'm poopin'!"
"Okay. This is KryptonianCodeMonkey."
"Hi, kryptonianCodeMonkey! I'm poopin'!"
Then I went to pee at the urinal next to his stall and he announced, "Hey, I have shoes just like those."
Not a city slicker perhaps Spacey? :) Key could be behind the counter, with the employee; could be electronically unlockable by employee.
(Guess I donât want to make a person waste time asking an employee, esp if they come back to a couple people now in line.) âCome back with a warrantâ is too good to miss an opportunity on now that I read it in one of the top comments here!
Ahh⊠5-20% of the time! Most commonly seen on portable toilets, the most horrible brand name of which is âHoney Bucketâ (portajohn, portapotty more commonly said).
That design is vastly more common than any other, is it? In the 5-20%, itâs not red versus white dots, but some kind of indicator period. May say âOccupiedâ and rotate to blank, for instance.
Probably most rare is indicators on individual stalls within a larger single gender restroom. (Indicators on single-occupancy bathrooms are the thing youâll see if any.)
I've used a very wide array of urban bathrooms over the past several decades. People are not smart. People can and will keep trying to open a locked door and need reassurance that someone else is in there already shitting. Silence does not accomplish this; "come back with a warrant," which I also saw, is going to be my new go-to as well, replacing the tired old "occupied" - which, while it got the job done, I now feel was too dry.
I just say "occupied" with a certain degree of annoyance like "I'm in here now and I know you're out there and I'll do my best to be out shortly but my body might do some weird stuff and I'll be in here as long as I need to be".
This is why you always hold a little reserves on the public throne. Once someone comes a knockin' you unleash the beast and make sure you get some of that bowl resonance reverb. They will say something like "OHHHH!!" and walk away shamefully.
I assume they are seeking information beyond just the obvious fact that I'm already occupying the stall. I will attempt to be charitable and volunteer how many more minutes I believe I'll be
But what's weird is that 99% of the time I have no idea what to say in any given situation, but this public restroom scenario just came naturally to me one day and still comes naturally to me every time. That's weird isn't it? Like I'm only comfortable & functional in the most uncomfortable situations đ€ŠđŒââïž
Big Joe Grizzly: Hey, buddy, just to give you a heads up, I got a taco supreme talking back at me, so I'm going to be a while. So do you mind waiting somewhere else and let me pass this beast in peace?
[Michael knocks again]
Big Joe Grizzly: Look, brother... if you're looking for some kind of action, you better take it on the arches before I'm done dropping this load. Or you're going to be one sorry a-hole.
[Michael doesn't leave]
Big Joe Grizzly: Okay... you just hold on, Daisy. I've got something for you.
[unsheathes knife, opens door]
Big Joe Grizzly: Let me introduce myself. I'm Joe Grizzly, bitch. And I'm gonna cut that goddamn mask right off your face, you...
209 Comments
SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · 212 pts · 1d
âCome back with a warrantâ is my go to, usually gets a chuckle.
otter@lemmy.zip · 32 pts · 1d
I absolutely love this. Thank you.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 22 pts · 1d
It's all fun and games until you say it to someone who happens to be a cop and then he takes it as evidence of guilt for some unspecified crime so he begins stalking and harassing you and making your life hell until you have a mental breakdown and then he books you for disorderly conduct.
SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1d
Hey if they want to collect my shit as evidence, thatâs totally their prerogative and I just may enjoy the show.
polydactyl@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 20h
Not with my poop. Thatâs why I bring a fish tank net and a plastic bag with me everywhere
BlueOysterCultist@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 1d
That reminds me of this scene in venture bros
Www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2IDBJKU_t4
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 117 pts · 1d
"Occupied"
"Fuck off"
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 1d
"Go away, I'm 'batin'!"
KingGordon@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 1d
I prefer
âOCCUPADO!â
Sunschein@piefed.social · 4 pts · 17h
Estoy cagando!
tourist@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d
"I am fighting for my life in here"
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 103 pts · 1d
âCome in!â
Followed by an earth-shattering shart
muffedtrims@lemmy.world · 89 pts · 1d
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 16h
Why's he covering himself. We all wanna see.
mrfriki@lemmy.world · 74 pts · 1d
"3D printing in progress"
comador@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1d
That one is priceless. I'm taking it.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d
"Compiling!"
Evil_Incarnate@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 21h
Core dumped
db2@lemmy.world · 67 pts · 1d
tatterdemalion@programming.dev · 8 pts · 23h
poopiendo
Curiousfur@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 1d
"Occupied" or "workin on it"
PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 1d
"Workin' on it" is perfect. I can't believe I've never heard that before!
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 1d
"Hnnnggggg!"
metalsonic00@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1d
In a hank hill voice
Curiousfur@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d
hansolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 22h
This is exactly what I do. But from the episode when they went to Mexico.
"Uh... Este Juan es occupado."
Makes me laugh every time, not sure about the other person.
altphoto@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 1d
It's busy!
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 42 pts · 1d
"Occupado Senior"
*does not speak spanish
undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch · 13 pts · 1d
I was going to say that I say âoccupiedâ because Iâm used to Spanish âocupado.â Up until then I was never sure in English despite it being my first language.
SW42@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 1d
Gaza! I mean, occupied!
darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 11 pts · 1d
Shits fired!
cRazi_man@europe.pub · 29 pts · 1d
"I've been waiting for you"
Surp@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 20h
Occupied
Nobody@anarchist.nexus · 28 pts · 1d
âGo away! Baitinâ!â
vrighter@discuss.tchncs.de · 27 pts · 17h
"come in!"
sdfric88@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 12h
This is my go to
canaryWart@programming.dev · 1 pts · just now
All fun and games until your bluff gets called
Zidane@lemmy.ca · 25 pts · 1d
Simple "yo"
miked@piefed.social · 8 pts · 1d
I do a loud, "eh, yo"
sem@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 1d
Ey yo? yo yo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiWIOKKuyGE&%3Bt=9
uuj8za@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d
TĂș??
spittingimage@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1d
"Come in, come in! I was just thinking of you!"
Ozymati@lemmy.nz · 24 pts · 1d
"Go away! I'm 'baitin!"
PlasticExistence@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d
I like money
rumba@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 1d
Occupado, Man
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1d
baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de · 21 pts · 1d
Ey I'm poopin' in here!
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 16h
FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org · 20 pts · 1d
Password?
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d
Hunter2
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 23h
I think you said something but I only heard *******
wewbull@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 21h
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Evil_Incarnate@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 21h
Ken sent me
Hupf@feddit.org · 1 pts · 16h
Iron and copper.
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 1d
OccuuuuuuPAAAADDDDOOO
aesthelete@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1d
Occupado homey
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 1d
fulcrummed@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1d
âThis seat is takenâ Forest Gump kids on the bus accent
Or âok, but youâre gonna have to sit on my lap.â
drre@feddit.org · 18 pts · 1d
besetzt
affenlehrer@feddit.org · 8 pts · 1d
Bin am kacken!
SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 22h
"What's the password?"
"If my ass you wish to see, answer this riddle to me"
"I've got the stuff, do you have the money?"
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 20h
I don't know if it was intentional, but I like how your riddle option feels like you are so disappointed that nobody ever gets all 3 riddles from "answer these riddles three" and in your loneliness you have just dropped 2 of the riddles and the last remaining riddle is so basic that you can take just about any response as a correct answer.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 16h
Occupied????
Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 16h
Occupado
HodorPlease@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 16h
Occupied. It's the default answer. Rest is people making a bigger issue out of something so simple.
inconsistent_octopus@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1d
Just let loose a bloodcurdling scream
InFerNo@lemmy.ml · 13 pts · 14h
I would like to share this timeless classic
motruck@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 12h
Wow. Bryan sounds like a shit head. Good for him to keep stereotypes alive.
FluidBeef@quokk.au · 13 pts · 21h
Yes, come in?
PlasticExistence@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1d
âJust as prophecy foretold, you have come. Enter and meet your destiny!â
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 1d
You. I've seen you. Let me see your face. You are the one from my dreams. Then the stars were right, and this is the day. Gods give me strength.
lyrial@anarchist.nexus · 2 pts · 1d
I've heard this line countless times.
rautapekoni@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 13h
"I am the gatekeeper! Are you the keymaster?"
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 12 pts · 1d
farts loudly
over_clox@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
Tomorrow happens to be my birthday.
Your comment reminds me to get an air horn...
đŻ
ShouldIHaveFun@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 23h
Just leave the door open and nobody will knock
electric_nan@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 1d
"Come in!"
mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 21h
"The hole is in the right wall."
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d
When I met my to-be brother-in-law for the first time 9 years ago (he was 19 then, for context), he was in a public restroom. My to-be mother-in-law called in and said "Hey bub, you in there?"
"Hey, mom. Yea. I'm poopin'!"
"Okay. This is KryptonianCodeMonkey."
"Hi, kryptonianCodeMonkey! I'm poopin'!"
Then I went to pee at the urinal next to his stall and he announced, "Hey, I have shoes just like those."
So, anyway... if your goal is to be memorable...
Hoimo@ani.social · 0 pts · 21h
When the story gives all the wrong details and none of the right ones.
Dagobah@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 23h
Did they meet because of you? I hope you told that story at their wedding.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 10h
Occupied.
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 23h
You're FINALLY here!
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d
I've passed 40 and I still just remain silent
Elgenzay@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 1d
That's the right move. The door is locked, they'll figure it out
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d
People are not smart.
brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d
Not a city slicker perhaps Spacey? :) Key could be behind the counter, with the employee; could be electronically unlockable by employee.
(Guess I donât want to make a person waste time asking an employee, esp if they come back to a couple people now in line.) âCome back with a warrantâ is too good to miss an opportunity on now that I read it in one of the top comments here!
wieson@feddit.org · 4 pts · 1d
Do you guys not have the red and white dots on the lock, signifying occupancy?
Varesti@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 23h
brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d
Ahh⊠5-20% of the time! Most commonly seen on portable toilets, the most horrible brand name of which is âHoney Bucketâ (portajohn, portapotty more commonly said).
That design is vastly more common than any other, is it? In the 5-20%, itâs not red versus white dots, but some kind of indicator period. May say âOccupiedâ and rotate to blank, for instance.
Probably most rare is indicators on individual stalls within a larger single gender restroom. (Indicators on single-occupancy bathrooms are the thing youâll see if any.)
Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
You have locks on the doors?
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
I've used a very wide array of urban bathrooms over the past several decades. People are not smart. People can and will keep trying to open a locked door and need reassurance that someone else is in there already shitting. Silence does not accomplish this; "come back with a warrant," which I also saw, is going to be my new go-to as well, replacing the tired old "occupied" - which, while it got the job done, I now feel was too dry.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 17h
You're risking this:
https://youtu.be/JsthkWOCJn4
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16h
Been wondering about that, why do the Americans put such enormous gaps at the bottom of the bathroom stalls?
Taleya@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 8h
OCCUPADO
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 4h
Australian with a nyc accent??
groucho@retrolemmy.com · 10 pts · 1d
If they knock: a polite "I'll be out in a moment"
If they bust in like some kind of shitting Kool-Aid man: a cheerful "HOWDY!" with sustained eye contact.
PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk · 9 pts · 1d
A vocalisation of the Family Fortunes incorrect answer noise is my reply of choice.
restingOface@quokk.au · 10 pts · 1d
ramble81@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 1d
âNot sure youâre gonna want thisâ
SlothMama@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d
Me estoy cagando
imsufferableninja@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1d
Come on in
prime_number_314159@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d
"C'mon in, water's great!"
Almacca@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 1d
"Full!"
Banana@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1d
"almost empty!"
Almacca@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1d
"I feel lighter!"
gaiussabinus@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d
Wordless scream, works every time. Also laugh afterword.
RegularJoe@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d
Thereâs no toilet paper. Have you got change for a $20?
boonhet@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 1d
Sure. You prefer quarters or nickles?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16h
Half dollars, ideally.
tigermountain@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 21h
I just say "occupied" with a certain degree of annoyance like "I'm in here now and I know you're out there and I'll do my best to be out shortly but my body might do some weird stuff and I'll be in here as long as I need to be".
Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 20h
I get anxious and accidentally say "Ocupado" more then half the time, even though English is my first language and I failed Spanish.
tigermountain@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 18h
Lol. I forgot I used to say that too! It's even better because it makes the person outside think you don't speak English.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 13h
"ÂżDONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA?
VinegarChunks@lemmus.org · 8 pts · 14h
âGO AROUNDâ
007ace@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 13h
Classic Mitch Hedberg. Its this or 'Ocupado' in a tiny high pitched voice every time.
I laugh every time.
Quexotic@infosec.pub · 8 pts · 1d
Sing! đ¶"Another one bites the dust... And another one down, another one down, Another one bites the dust,
... I'm gonna get you, too, Another one bites the dust.. "đ¶
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
Then fart to the beat
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 22h
I prefer "Push it" by Salt-N-Pepa
VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 15h
Occupado
P1k1e@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 10h
Fuq orf am shiten
taiyang@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d
I uh... I said "Hello there." It was instinct.
I'm a little sad they didn't say "General Kenobi" but you can't win them all.
PlasticExistence@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
I sense a plot to destroy the toilet bowl
Randelung@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d
A high pitched scream of terror.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 17h
Loud moan
anon_8675309@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d
Donât say anything, make a loud fart sound.
brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1d
Hmm now that you say that, nobodyâs mentioned clearing your throat
Nvermind@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1d
Knock back
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 1d
"Who's there?"
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 7 pts · 1d
opens door Step into my office, have a seat. Can I get you a coffee?
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 1d
How chunky should it be?
wpb@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 21h
I haven't found a reason to say anything.
ViceroTempus@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 13h
Ask them if they want to play battle shits?
Bahnd@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 13h
I understoon that reference.
SailorFuzz@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d
"Go Around"
nullify3112@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 8h
Sorry babe Iâm flying solo today
decolo@piefed.social · 6 pts · 1d
An ear splitting screech works just fine
socsa@piefed.social · 6 pts · 1d
"oh good you're finally here!"
Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app · 6 pts · 1d
Omnomnom9@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 1d
Password?
Marthirial@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1d
"Only works if we take turns!"
TR3@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
Now, this is a proper shitpost if I ever read one.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 8h
"Come on in, I kept the seat warm for you"
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 16h
Giving credit is cool.
Buage_@piefed.social · 2 pts · 10h
I stole this shitpost from reddit (as always) and the username was already censored
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 9h
I threw your image at https://tineye.com/ and found the uncensored version.
altphoto@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 1d
And just like that, an AI learned everything necessary to respond when a restroom is busy....next step is to learn how to poop.
josephc@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 14h
I shit louder.
Let the butt-song echo through the porcelain trumpet, that it might sound through the heavens.
Summon the butt-cracken.
FantasmaNaCasca@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 13h
Theoden: Yes. Yes! The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep...one last time!
Gimli: Yes!
[runs off to blow the horn]
sunstoned@lemmus.org · 5 pts · 4h
"Come back with a warrant!"
CatpainTypo@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
What is it now?
socsa@piefed.social · 4 pts · 1d
Yeah that's right
jimerson@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 17h
"Who is it?" is my go to.
Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 1d
Still racking up give me a minute
Notyou@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 1d
Yuuuup
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 23h
"Daddy?"
boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 14h
MehBlah@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
You may be wondering why I asked you to come here today.
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 22h
"Shitter's full!"
Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
I just say "What?" Firm but kind. Unless you are yanking on the door then it's "WHAT?"
Ismay@programming.dev · 4 pts · 12h
Want some ?
Lexam@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Jerry get the door!
20cello@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
đ€
bcgm3@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 9h
"Just a sec, I'm doing the paperwork!"
jjlinux@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 12h
"Fuck off" making sure to shout it as loud as the knock.
Leviathan@fedinsfw.app · 4 pts · 1d
YEO!! Then I do my best to hurry because I know what it's like to have a bathroom emergency.
ThirdConsul@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 1d
"Enter".
Or with a flare "Avanti!".
Agent641@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 17h
You just knock back, louder.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16h
Bonus points if it's Babadook-style
5ha99y@lemmus.org · 4 pts · 22h
I only know crazily trying to open the door, because they don't know what a locked door means...
craigers@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 16h
Occupado is my go to
REDACTED@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 20h
"busy"
slight pause
"With myself"
AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 1d
Sup
fodor@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d
... Well, uh, you can say nearly anything and they'll go away.
restingOface@quokk.au · 3 pts · 1d
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
rethnor@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d
I didn't say anything, I put my full faith in the lock. If that isn't enough of a hint then it's their problem.
VanRayInd@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 18h
I lay on a thick country accent and say "Oc-Yew-Pod-Oh!"
KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 1d
shits and screams
PacketPilgrim@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 1d
This is why you always hold a little reserves on the public throne. Once someone comes a knockin' you unleash the beast and make sure you get some of that bowl resonance reverb. They will say something like "OHHHH!!" and walk away shamefully.
quitthebiz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 15h
Go away, senator
Randelung@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 15h
estoy pooping
urushitan@kakera.kintsugi.moe · 2 pts · 1d
slowmorella@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 1d
"Nope"
Epp@lemmus.org · 2 pts · 6h
"Nein! Ich habe farfrompoopen!"
arotrios@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Who's there?
STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
"DON'T ANSWER!"
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 22h
"Aye, come in, I was just getting the place ready for you!"
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 14h
I assume they are seeking information beyond just the obvious fact that I'm already occupying the stall. I will attempt to be charitable and volunteer how many more minutes I believe I'll be
InFerNo@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 14h
Say nothing but try to get eye contact through the gap
fartographer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 8h
THANK GOD, I NEED A WITNESS!
Taleya@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 8h
"STOP! STOP! YOU'RE MAKING IT GO BACK IN!!"
whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 1d
The Jakes is occupied
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 20h
Get out while you still can!
Obi@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 22h
Usually just go with "nope" or some such.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16h
Try "Yes, and..." next time. That's the #1 rule.
bhamlin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 10h
Occu-poo-do
canaryWart@programming.dev · 1 pts · 2m
"Who's there?"
"No solicitors"
"I'm full"
crystalmathadept@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 18h
I just say Come In
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 14h
Moan silently and rhythmically and make some rustling noises?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 15h
Just start screaming unhingedly.
guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 1d
Start a conversation, with all that.
echodot@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 7h
Let's get ready to rumble.
chunk6235@piefed.social · 1 pts · 2h
"There's no door on this side, go around!"
"Cover charge is $10"
Avicenna@programming.dev · 1 pts · 23h
cough loudly
myyass@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 10h
Poop Patrol!
Doom@discuss.online · 1 pts · 10h
Just ask for help
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 13h
"whatcha want?"
CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 3h
OCCUPIED!
But what's weird is that 99% of the time I have no idea what to say in any given situation, but this public restroom scenario just came naturally to me one day and still comes naturally to me every time. That's weird isn't it? Like I'm only comfortable & functional in the most uncomfortable situations đ€ŠđŒââïž
gabbath@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 10h
Best answer I found even though I don't remember to apply it: just knock back.
This happened to me more than once in... Bulgaria, I think? It was a long time ago.
Varesti@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 23h
[Michael knocks on stall door]
Big Joe Grizzly: Hey, buddy, just to give you a heads up, I got a taco supreme talking back at me, so I'm going to be a while. So do you mind waiting somewhere else and let me pass this beast in peace?
[Michael knocks again]
Big Joe Grizzly: Look, brother... if you're looking for some kind of action, you better take it on the arches before I'm done dropping this load. Or you're going to be one sorry a-hole.
[Michael doesn't leave]
Big Joe Grizzly: Okay... you just hold on, Daisy. I've got something for you.
[unsheathes knife, opens door]
Big Joe Grizzly: Let me introduce myself. I'm Joe Grizzly, bitch. And I'm gonna cut that goddamn mask right off your face, you...
Win012@lemmy.today · 0 pts · 11h
Comedian Shawn Reynolds has an answer
https://youtu.be/H2RqPCpn5YQ?is=LICYcwCXPw98fXeB