This HAS to be satire

834 points · 337 comments · view on lemmy.world

337 Comments

wetsoggybread@lemmy.world · 213 pts · 1d (10 replies)

Oh hey I recognize that street and that guy. He's a free-stater nutjob who has at least one criminal investigation against him

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 102 pts · 1d (4 replies)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Kauffman

This guy?

Sounds like a libertarian tool.

NotSteve_@piefed.ca · 69 pts · 1d

Wow, i genuinely thought this was satire or rage bait but guy might actually think this way

CorrectAlias@piefed.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 17h (1 reply)

by calling for child labor to be legalized, for the Civil Rights Act to be repealed, and for the Guantanamo Bay detention camp to be reopened "so that Anthony Fauci and every governor that locked their state down can be sent there, never again to be allowed inside of the United States"

After holding up a sign "MAGA = Socialist" at an appearance of Donald Trump, Kauffman later endorsed Trump, calling the Libertarian nominee, Chase Oliver, a "gay race communist."

Yikes.

Kauffman was arrested in April 2026 and charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing government administration following a traffic collision in a New Hampshire parking lot. Kauffman reportedly drove into another car and began fighting several people. Kauffman also made racist comments, telling a bystander to "Go back to Africa!" Kauffman's family members reportedly dragged him from the parking lot into a nearby store. Kauffman defended his conduct in the incident, writing “Low IQ schizophrenic Africans who scream at kids in parking lots should be deported from New Hampshire. We shouldn’t punish decent men who stand up to them."

Double yikes.

carpelbridgesyndrome@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 12h

Does he not realize Guantanamo is still open? I'm a little confused on how operating it is consistent with libertarianisim. Then again libertarians have brain worms

in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social · 1 pts · 1d

Racist, violent, libertarian tool.

MrMeowMeow@mander.xyz · 8 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Is this Concord? I feel like I’ve driven through here a million times but can’t place it.

dadarobot@lemmy.ml · 21 pts · 1d

must be because no one pushed the button and DESTROYED 30 seconds of your life.

snoons@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 1d

I mean, it looks like any one intersection in suburban North America a few years after it was built.

Megap00ps@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d

https://maps.app.goo.gl/GLJaEktQwrcWeR3y7?g_st=ac It's the corner of South commercial and granite in Manchester

wetsoggybread@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 19h

Its the corner of granite and commercial street in manchester. I drive through Manchester on my way to work every day

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 158 pts · 1d (22 replies)

That's a 6 lane road. You must be perpetually on steroids to think that would be normal.

snoons@lemmy.ca · 107 pts · 1d (21 replies)

Stroad, it's a stroad. It's why I hate North America.

harmbugler@piefed.social · 13 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Stroad, n. A road on steroids

Serinus@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 1d

Streets are intended for stops. Homes, driveways, shops. Low speed. Walkable.

Roads are intended for travel. There should be very few turnoffs, no surprise entrances, etc. Roads are intended to get you onto streets. Generally medium to high speeds.

Stroads combine the worst of both to make death traps, accidents, and make walking difficult, uncomfortable, or impossible.

SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · -40 pts · 1d (18 replies)

A left turn lane, a right turn, and a through lane is normal? Anything else allows endless backups. Pedestrians prevent cars from turning right and left, and oncoming prevents cars from turning left, and than no one can go straight either.

It’s usually 2 lanes each way only 100m or so before the intersection and it widens to this configuration. A single lane road still usually has one type of turning lane at all intersection as well.

What are you even complaining about?

5318008@lemmy.ml · 30 pts · 1d

A left turn lane, a right turn, and a through lane is normal?

No. No it's not. That's a design for a major artery, not for every single street with shops on it. If you grew up in the United States, and haven't traveled, I'm afraid to tell you that you've never seen good road infrastructure in your life.

snoons@lemmy.ca · 22 pts · 1d

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motonormativity

It isn't normal to have six lanes (>80% of available space) to be exclusively for vehicles. I mean, it is normal in North America but it really shouldn't be. The problem is two of those lanes could be a bicycle path with a tram line to allow for a lot more throughput while creating space for people to walk around and loiter which then provides increased opportunity for local business' to create sales and boost the local economy. This would also have a knock-on effect of decreasing congestion (backups) because when there are other, viable transportation options, more people will choose not to drive. With less traffic, local trades and shipping companies will also experience greater productivity with less time spent idling, which also means less air pollution which in turn reduces strain on the medical system. Not to mention all the money saved by people not buying gas, insurance, doing maintenance, etc. (which can then be put into other industries instead of being tied up in transportation).

With stroads like in the OP, all potential customers just go right past to strip malls outside the urban centre that are essentially only accessible by driving. If they do stop at places along a stroad like this they usually park, do whatever it is they need to do, then leave asap because it's not a nice place to be with all the traffic noise an noxious gasses. With the intersection in the OP specifically, one can imagine a sort of town square where people can sit with their family and have dinner or whatever else. Instead, it's a few acres of asphalt that raises the local temperature by a few degrees while creating a massive obstacle for pedestrians, especially if they have to cross diagonally. The heat especially makes it a really shitty place to walk through and can even be dangerous for elders or people with weakened respiratory systems. These facts, and the almost non-existent pedestrian infrastructure creates a negative feedback loop where more and more people are using cars to get around because of how awful it is to walk anywhere leading to more focus on vehicle infrastructure, and more people driving cars.

Using only personal vehicles to get anywhere is not a scalable transportation solution and greatly hampers economic growth outside of specific industries (that are usually related to vehicles). By providing other transportation options to people by using land that would 'normally' be used for parking or right/left turns (especially intersections), more economic opportunity is created, business' that rely on transportation (shipping, delivery, plumbers, electricians, etc.) will become more efficient as traffic is reduced and people that live in the area will become healthier.

I mean, overall it's just good for the economy to provide more options and not pave the entire place with asphalt.

kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 1d

Why would you need three incoming lanes, though? Three outgoing makes sense temporarily, but you only need a single incoming lane if you're going to go back down to two total, and the OP has three incoming.

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 13 pts · 1d

This is is about pedestrians having to cross all 6 lanes at that spot while cars rush past. I don't care how good it is against congestion.

Next you're gonna tell me they should ignore the friendly button, walk 100m and cross where it's "only" 4 lanes anymore.

What are you even complaining about?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroad#Disadvantages

There's also some very nice YT videos explaining the problem and better solutions.

SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d (8 replies)

“I never walk further than my driveway, so I don't see a problem.”

SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 1d (7 replies)
[ removed ]
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d (6 replies)

God forbid that someone would want to walk somewhere in cities, right? Let those assholes walk in forests like normal people. They can do all the walking they want there, then get back in the car and drive in the city like the founding fathers intended.

SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · -8 pts · 1d (5 replies)

Why would a road prevent that?

You don’t think I didn’t walk to that park from my house?

You’re assuming a hell of a lot, and slandering me with fake quotes as well, based off your assumption I’m apparently some cave dweller that can’t walk?

jerkface@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1d

slandering me with fake quotes as well

you're one more hard headed post from actually hurting yourself.

balsoft@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 1d

No, it should not be normal. In fact it is not normal in almost any city outside NA. While we still have cars in cities (which we categorically should not), we must at the very least make sure there is no more than one lane in each direction, including most intersections. "Endless backups" are unavoidable with cars in any case because of a combination of basic geometry and induced demand. We should instead optimize for the safety & speed of other road users, literally all of which are more efficient than car drivers.

Armok_the_bunny@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d (2 replies)

I see three right hand lanes there (as in, the side of the road closest to the camera has three lanes for a single direction of traffic), which means that it's 6 lanes by default and widens to somewhere between 7 and 9 at the intersection, depending on turn lane configuration. That is unless you want to assume an unbalanced configuration where there are three lanes in one direction and only two lanes in the other, which frankly I consider unlikely.

SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · -6 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I said there was 3 lanes on each side?

A right turn, a left turn, and a through lane.

Those 3 close lanes would merge back into 2 100m from the intersection. It allows free flowing traffic. It allows a through lane, a lane for vehicles to turn right into as well.

Armok_the_bunny@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d

That's not how any intersection I've ever seen works, you don't have more outgoing lanes than incoming straight through lanes.

huppakee@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d

This is what you describe:

This is how i think the intersection on the image looks like:

The difference seems small, but the amount of lanes after cars crossing the street is a big deal.

| < | ^ | > |

If the outer lanes are only for traffic turning left or right, at the other side of the interchange there should only be one lane left. That is not how this interchange looks to me.

ceenote@lemmy.world · 118 pts · 1d (10 replies)

What's with the assumption that the pedestrian getting to their destination is less important than all the drivers? If a bunch of people get held up a long time for a smaller number of people, blame the city planners.

LodeMike@lemmy.today · 39 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Oh you mean like a bus full of people sitting behind a 1995 camary?

ceenote@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Yeah, if the busses are used a lot they should get their own lanes and other special considerations.

As long as I'm adding another comment, I should mention that it's usually not the city planners fault. It's interest groups leaning on elected officials to lean on the city planners, who would design safe and efficient cities if left to their own devices.

clanker_victim_555@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d (2 replies)

You've got it backwards. Give them their own lane and priority at signals etc. Then they will get used a lot.

ceenote@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

More realistically they have to work in parallel. The NIMBYs will easily destroy a bus service that inconveniences all the drivers if nobody is riding it yet.

jumping_redditor@sh.itjust.works · -4 pts · 1d

as they should, the government needs to not discriminate again their existing infrastructure unless they have a real replacement (as far as I am aware no place actually has public transit that replaces cars properly)

harmbugler@piefed.social · 12 pts · 1d (2 replies)

Not to mention the fact that to cross to the opposite corner, a pedestrian often has to press two buttons and wait for two sets of light changes. Drivers only have to wait more than one when there are too many cars.

snoons@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 1d

While also sitting on cushioned seats in a closed off, air-conditioned space. The lazy bastards can fucking wait for me to mozy on by.

Pika@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1d

I've always found that really stupid. Just have two buttons, one for the diagonal and one for the crossing. And if you press the button for the diagonal, it stops all lanes of traffic so you can cross diagonally. Like, you can't tell me it would take less time having to stop the lights twice for you to cross one way and then cross the other, then it would be to just stop all the lanes of traffic momentarily while you cross diagonally.

OwOarchist@pawb.social · 3 pts · 1d

What’s with the assumption that the pedestrian getting to their destination is less important than all the drivers?

The pedestrian is probably poor.

Flower@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1d

Class warfare

HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world · 96 pts · 1d

Making ~100 cars wait ~30 secs

bud ask me if i give a fuck.

Elgenzay@lemmy.ml · 76 pts · 1d

At 800k impressions, assuming 10 seconds per view, this guy wasted about 90 days with his dogshit take

jtrek@startrek.website · 70 pts · 1d (15 replies)

I don't understand what he wants the pedestrian to do. Not cross at all? Wait until there's no traffic?

Alexstarfire@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 1d

IRL Frogger

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 34 pts · 1d (2 replies)

Clearly, the pedestrian should get a car, and OP just happens to work at a used car lot.

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 1d

Well he's a blockchain guy so maybe he wants everyone to rent or lease used cars via some DeFi car lending app.

Flower@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1d

And when everybody's driving they'll complain there is too much traffic and the roads are now clogged.

Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Jaywalk.

wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d

But if they move in a J formation, they won't successfully cross the street

monotremata@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 1d

Frogger.

pHr34kY@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d (5 replies)

I see people press the button and wait when there's clearly no traffic.

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 13 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Well, if there's a pedestrian traffic light, that's the legal thing to do

iknewitwhenisawit@fedinsfw.app · 4 pts · 1d

Also the speed limit there might be 45 miles per hour. Crossing 6 lanes of traffic without a light may be impossible even if there is no traffic when you start!

hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 1d

Yes, because you have a red light, you stop, press button and wait for green. At least that's what I've been teaching to my kid, maybe I'm wrong?

brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 18h (1 reply)

Press button, stay in the lines, if worried about success of your personal injury suit :)

pHr34kY@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 17h

You don't get hit if you don't expect cars to stop. It's safer to go on the red.

Jiral@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

I think he just wants pedestrians to just not exist at all or maybe die trying to cross while traffic is flowing.

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d

I'm guessing he wanted the person to wait until it changes for the cars or something

Waffelmeister@lemmy.world · 65 pts · 1d (38 replies)

Maybe I shouldn't tell you guys this, but sometimes I press the button even if I don't have to cross the street. Also sometimes I cross the street really slowly, drivers get especially mad about that. Obviously I'm not from the US, since I'm still alive.

betelplouf@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Crossing suuuper slowly when there's a suv waiting is my fav, especially when the driver didn't want me to cross

FatVegan@leminal.space · 8 pts · 1d (2 replies)

My dad aways makes a remark when someone crosses tge street slowly. He's fat and slow as gell himself. I don't understand how you can get mad at sghit like that.

Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I know you meant to write 'slow as hell' but 'fat and slow as gel' brought up a mental image that fits the scene.

i_love_FFT@jlai.lu · 5 pts · 1d

Movement speed of a gelatinous cube is like 3 squares per turn. It's slow as hell!

kestrel7_7@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

I never cross the street slowly… but I never hurry, either, and even that annoys some car drivers 😭😂

tetris11@feddit.uk · -6 pts · 1d (9 replies)

Why though, people have places to go and public transport might not be available to them. You're punishing people for their lack of choices

Waffelmeister@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1d (8 replies)

Nah, you got it all wrong. I don't punish them, I do them a favor. They mabe don't know it, but it's good for them if they stop occasionally.

On the other hand, they punish me, every day of every week. They punish me with pollution and noise and concrete and traffic accidents and oil consumption and heat radiation.

horsesaysweird@feddit.org · -4 pts · 1d (7 replies)

Deciding what is good for random strangers and then forcing them to enjoy whatever it is you came up with doesn't sound like very good idea.

And how is this helping your situation? Breaking and accelerating increases noise and pollution. If cars have to spend more time on the street instead of being at their destination, they either need more road space or they spend more time in traffic jams that, again, increase noise and pollution. Cars are the least likely to be involved in accidents when they are cruising, so you are also making your city less safe.

Just to be clear: I'm absolutely in favour of banning cars in cities, but you are making the already bad situation worse for everyone.

Waffelmeister@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Yeah, I guess I'm a litte bit accelerationist(1) with my take here. But the situation will not change if drivers have it more comfortable.

There is so much violence in driving a car, and you argue against me because I make them stop for 20 seconds. (Inner)Cities should not be build for cruising. They should be build for pedestrians. If you want to cruise, drive on the Autobahn or some Umfahrungsstraße.

::: spoiler Spoiler (1) DuckDuckGo translated accelerationist with beschlagnaderungsorientiert. Since you german speaking I thought you might enjoy this. :::

horsesaysweird@feddit.org · 1 pts · 1d

You misunderstand me. I agree that being a pedestrian or cyclist should be more convenient and safer, and I don't care if that means car drivers are inconvenienced by whatever it is that needs to be done to achieve that goal.

But you are inconveniencing car drivers while also making the situation worse for pedestrians, cyclists and everyone else. What you are doing has no positive effects for anyone, except maybe you feeling righteous for a moment.

::: spoiler Spoiler "beschlagnaderungsorientiert" sounds like a dangerous words from the funniest joke in the world. :::

Swemg@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Are drivers not deciding and then forcing people to "enjoy" their cars ? ^^

horsesaysweird@feddit.org · 0 pts · 1d (2 replies)

No, they don't drive their cars because they think it's good for you, they drive them because they think it's good for them.

Swemg@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Depends on the context I think, if you use even though you don't need to then it's a choice for you and people around you

horsesaysweird@feddit.org · -1 pts · 1d

But you are still driving your car because it benefits you. Nobody thinks they are helping others by driving through a busy city center.

0x0@lemmy.zip · -4 pts · 1d

Deciding what is good for random strangers and then forcing them to enjoy whatever it is you came up with doesn’t sound like very good idea.

The birth of an authoritarian.

0x0@lemmy.zip · -18 pts · 1d (22 replies)

Also sometimes I cross the street really slowly, drivers get especially mad about that

Perhaps you'll change your mind next time a side mirror hits you because you thought you were on a catwalk.

Swemg@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1d (13 replies)

Lol wut. If a car doesn't let me cross even though I have the priority as a pedestrian, I usually hit the side mirror or the car. They can go fuck themselves with their overpriced rolling boxes. People get so mad when you touch their cars. I like it.

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 1d (1 reply)

You don't even need to cause any damage or even leave a fingerprint and they get so angry. Its kinda funny.

I see so much road rage, but usually from extended family so I try not to start an argument that will lead to someone storming off in a strop. I find it funny that an adult can get so angry, but it upsets my partner.

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 14h

There was a fight between 2 security guards for different gated communities when I lived in the US. One wasn't letting the other go through the gate and "slapped his hand on the hood", causing the other to get out and fight him.

manuremy@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 1d

I often walk or cycle past a school and a daycare, and here they have recently "upgraded roads" which means that they have scraped away a few pedestrian crossings. I 100% do shitty tricks to cars driving too fast or not giving enough space, especially if I am moving around the time kids are active. (Around here kids are still allowed to walk/cycle from school and often play around the town.)

I have made air kicks, always do when necessary, but sadly so far they have missed..

0x0@lemmy.zip · -16 pts · 1d (9 replies)

I usually hit the side mirror or the car.

Until someday you'll get a well deserved surprise.

dactylotheca@suppo.fi · 8 pts · 1d

You're an actual psychopath and you should be locked away before you kill someone

Swemg@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d (6 replies)

Lol, if touching a side mirror gets you that angry you need to look in a mirror and think about whats wrong with you. Also I'm a carpenter, I most often have my tools with me, I could do way worse than "hitting" a side mirror if you really need something to get upset about. I bet you get half hard looking at your rolling box ^^

percent@infosec.pub · 0 pts · 1d (5 replies)

Unpopular opinion: Cars are expensive. Vandalizing them in response to an inconvenience seems like an overreaction.

AA5B@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d (1 reply)

It’s symmetrical though. Sort of like a pedestrian risking death if they inconvenience car drivers

percent@infosec.pub · 0 pts · 17h

Sure, attempting to murder a pedestrian over an inconvenience is also bad.

Not sure I'd consider them "symmetrical" though... Maybe I'm being pedantic, but murder seems a lot worse.

Regardless, both are overreactions, and varying degrees of crazy.

Swemg@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Cutting the priority to pedestrian isn't an inconvenience tho. It's straight up code violation. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be a priority for the police 🤷🏻

percent@infosec.pub · 0 pts · 17h

Oh, I see. It still seems like an overreaction to a code violation though.

DudleyMason@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1d

True. However given that they're the largest "lifestyle" contributor to climate change (as opposed to things in the agricultural sector), vandalizing one in response to it simply existing seems like a slight under reaction, if anything.

DudleyMason@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 1d

A medal for meritorious public service and right of first refusal to carry out the sentence against the ecocidal narcissists? That'd be a well deserved surprise for any non-carhole who's been making carholes angry.

Waffelmeister@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Yeah. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Carbrained psychopaths look a people crossing the street and think: How dare they make me wait a few seconds longer. I'll fucking hit them with my car.

And they think that's a proportinal response. It's just deeply sick and twisted.

0x0@lemmy.zip · -9 pts · 1d (3 replies)

How dare they make me wait a few seconds longer.

...on purpose, just to cause a reaction. You missed that bit.

When i'm driving vehicles i have to qualms waiting for elderly or disabled people to cross the street, regardless of whether or not the crosswalk has a light.

Dipshits intentionally walking slow just to piss me off deserve to piss off someone who gets out of the car and demonstrates their discontent in a more direct manner.

If you want to label dislike for lack of civility as being a psychopath so you can feel better about yourself be my guest.

kestrel7_7@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1d

I’m going to walk slowly in front of three cars just because you made this post. It’s the only reasonable response to your lack of civility.

Seriously, you’re advocating getting physical with someone because of a perceived lack of civility — literally walking too slow. I drive almost everywhere, have done so for decades, and this is not a problem I’ve had, even once in my life. If "people walking too slowly in front of your car" is a regular problem for you, you may need to cultivate more patience. You have lost the plot. You sound like you are the problem in this social interaction.

HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1d

You don't get to hit them though.

DudleyMason@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 1d

Thanks for adding more evidence to support my central thesis: good people don't drive cars.

HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 1d

Fucking drivers thinking they can assualt people with their cars becase they've been inconvenienced

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 1d

Mirrors are so breakable..

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 14h

When I'm filtering, I let my mirror scrape cars that didn't leave enough room for bikes.

onnekas@sopuli.xyz · 56 pts · 23h

While the dude who pressed the button witnessed 100 able, adult people sitting in a polluting metal box instead of walking, cycling or taking public transport.

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 53 pts · 1d (6 replies)

Raises a good point. So we should destroy those cars to make way for trams.

cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Trams that never brake because of the collective loss of efficiency that might happen. It's like the trolley problem except there's 50 people on the trolley and the amount of money lost by them being collectively late for work is worth the loss of life.

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 10 pts · 1d (2 replies)

Ohh yes, +1 vote for the trams of death.

cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 16h

I can't stoppher capin' the economy just won't let me.

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 14h

Rvturn. (This was stopped because the trains kept killing children playing in the street)

AA5B@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

Add a giant “cow catcher” to the front of the tram, reinforced so that even the car brain with the most oversized pickup is at the same risk as the rest of us

ajikeshi@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23h

no... 30s of red light for cars, every 60s, fixed schedule... no wasted time since the drivers already calculated it in :D

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 1d (1 reply)

These idiots exist

The type who fetishise "the grind" and all that other toxic bullshit

Not exclusive to 'Murica, but over-represented in their "society"

hansolo@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 1d

It did come across like a wannabe LinkedIn post.

Magnus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 50 pts · 1d (4 replies)

The confusion I feel as a European about this post.

slaacaa@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d (2 replies)

I have no idea what is the supposed message of the “author”. Don’t cross the street?

kestrel7_7@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d

Their logic: people in cars = captains of industry who cannot be delayed as they go to their power lunches

People on foot = slovenly, slackjawed peasants who are obviously wasting time

Malfeasant@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d

Only the poors walk. Don't be poor.

dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 23h

Despite seeing drivers enraged by road safety and basic courtesy frequently while walking, this remains confusing AND infuriating as an American.

Chick0nPlayz@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 1d

I mean he has a blue check so he's a professional idiot

glibg10b@lemmy.zip · 42 pts · 1d

They'll just arrive 30 seconds later at the next red light where they still have to wait for the same 5 phases

gedaliyah@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 1d (1 reply)

That's why I no longer stop at red lights. Thats just theft of life. My car also works just fine on either side of the road; limiting it to just one is imprisonment. /s

TehWorld@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d

I pay for both sides of the road….

Zachariah@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 1d (2 replies)
thethrilloftime69@feddit.online · 1 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I was looking for this comment

snoons@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1d

I came to this comment.

XPost3000@lemmy.ml · 39 pts · 1d

Making ~100 cars drive 30 minutes to work every day is the destruction of 50 hour of human life, 100 hours both ways, almost every single day, but apparently cars are freedom so 🤷

jaemo@sh.itjust.works · 36 pts · 1d (1 reply)

If it's not, I've been given a new mission from up on high.

"Press ye every walk signal, both ways, on every single street ye walk on. Though ye may be turning right at that corner and not even crossing that that intersection, still press ye the buttons."

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 0 pts · 1d

Oh cmon don't do that. Make liberal use of the button when you're actually crossing obviously, but don't waste everyone else's time if you're not crossing (and emissions, cars require more energy to accelerate than to cruise, especially combustion engine cars).

Danarchy@lemmy.nz · 33 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Thousands of walk-button Hitlers out there committing one Holocaust of presses every 90 minutes and NO TRIBUNALS???! Make it make sense

InvalidName2@lemmy.zip · -21 pts · 1d (2 replies)

You joke, but that's exactly the kind of rhetoric that's getting increasingly common on Lemmy. "You're basically a Nazi supporter" for using an app one time 10 years ago where the developer of that app "was caught" giving an upvote to some other social media personality who was recently filmed having lunch at Chickfila, which is known to donate to anti-LGBTQIABLMDEI+ causes.

Amir@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 1d

No, it's not.

Sincerely, a terminally online Lemmy user.

huppakee@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

If someone calls you a nazi supporter while you don't feel you are, either you are one but you don't believe so or you are not one. I'm going to guess you are the second category, in which case there is no reason to care they call you a nazi-supporter. Especially if it is FORMATTED with RANDOM capitals and exclamation MARKS!!

hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 32 pts · 1d

i'd like to see it the other way around, drivers have to get out and run over to press the beg button. At least they will be getting some exercise.

ReptilianCleric@lemmy.zip · 31 pts · 21h

Just for you, Jeff, I'm pushing every single walk button I see, especially when I'm not crossing the road.

echodot@feddit.uk · 31 pts · 1d (14 replies)

I'm pretty confident pushing the button actually doesn't do anything. You press the button and wait forever and eventually the lights change but they were gonna do that anyway.

AA5B@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 1d (9 replies)

It depends on the intersection. Yes, some are a placebo, too many are token, but some actually work.

uberfreeza@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I know for my nearby intersections, when the button is not pressed, even when the lights change, the walk signal will never illuminate.

AA5B@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

I’ve started walking around my town a lot more since Covid, and see all three regulalrly

ricecake@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1d (5 replies)

Yeah, a lot of the time they're just there because people look for them if they're not and then they fidget, don't wait for the signal and dash into traffic.

The town I grew up in, the vast majority didn't do anything but they gently beeped, and if you pushed the button it would tell you the sign status until it completed the cycle. Helpful for vision impaired people.
There were a few that shifted the traffic lights to a different cycle and otherwise it never did a pedestrian cycle.

There was one though, where pushing the button nearly immediately started a pedestrian cycle.
There was a wide block with an apartment building in the middle on one side, and a grocery store directly across from it. Not long enough that people complained, but enough so that people still trotted across the otherwise busy street a lot. After trying nearly everything else they eventually put a traffic light in the middle of the block that was nearly entirely on demand for the crosswalk button, because almost any delay and the (college student) residents would just dash across.

Watching confused drivers was fun.

randomised@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 22h (4 replies)

Does the US not have traffic light controlled crossings at all then? In the UK we have multiple types of light controlled crossings for pedestrians and others e.g. bikes and horse riders (Pegasus crossing). These are always on demand from the button.

goldfndr@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 21h (2 replies)

In terms of animals, pelican can be quite common in urban environments, zebra in suburban. I haven't quite seen a toucan other than separate signal fixtures in downtown Seattle (my memory is a bit hazy though). I have yet to see pegasus or puffin.

randomised@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 19h

Ok good. I was worried for a moment there when the commenter I was replying to painted a picture of US drivers totally confused by traffic signals that weren't part of a junction for road vehicles.

I also had never seen a Pegasus crossing in the UK until one appeared close to where I live, it's between a suburban area and a national park crossing a 60mph road so it makes sense for horse riders to cross there. They probably appreciate it.

HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 21h

You might be a little far south for the Pacific Puffin.

ricecake@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 13h

It's less common to have a light or crosswalk away from a junction. Usually when you push the button it changes the lights to the crossing sequence on the next cycle so everything keeps flowing, so a pedestrian might hit the button, then wait for traffic to stop, then cross traffic, then a dedicated turn cycle. It can be a bit of time.
The light in question would turn yellow the moment you pushed the button, without integration with the nearby lights. Driver's usually don't expect to get stopped after being allowed to pass a red light after only about 100 meters.

In general, there's too much variation to say the US as a whole doesn't do some traffic thing. If it exists odd are someone tried using it on a road somewhere.

m0stlyharmless@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 20h

In college, I lived close to my university’s campus near an intersection that would get very busy during sporting events and other occasions where there would be many people in town.

The intersection would set all the lights to red if it had detected no activity for a good while (such as at night when it was rarely used) and would also immediately change the green light for cross traffic to red if you pressed the crosswalk button so long as there wasn’t any cross traffic for a few minutes.

It was surprisingly sophisticated traffic control considering that most of the other intersections were just on simple timers.

MBech@feddit.dk · 3 pts · 1d

In my country, if you don't press it, you won't get green. The intersection will still change, but the pedestrian light won't. If the button isn't pressed, the intersection light will change faster, since there won't be pedestrians holding up traffic.

RBWells@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 23h

The one near my work extends the red light for long enough you can cross on foot & makes the walking signal & countdown appear.

It does not stop left turning cars from running us over though.

zarkanian@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 21h (1 reply)

I know at least some of them work, because sometimes I'll be waiting there for the walk signal and it never appears, and I go "Oh, I forgot to push the button."

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 20h

Where I live the major cross streets' buttons are just placebo. They aren't even connected. It just makes people feel better to push them.

The smaller streets, however, they are critical. You will not get the walk indicator without it.

Venator@lemmy.nz · 29 pts · 1d

If it's not satire, I'd love to see his reaction when someone presses the button then realises it's clear and they didn't need to and jaywalks 😅

gray@lemmy.ml · 28 pts · 23h (11 replies)

I don't understand, isn't this the button you press if you want to cross? Are you not supposed to press the button?

musubibreakfast@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 23h

In America pressing that button is considered a government handout. You're supposed to cross the street using common sense and determination. Real men don't even look to check when they cross the street because they have God on their side.

Jinarched@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 1d (1 reply)

The kind of person that will whine if I don't press the button and cross the street.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 1d

tbf, it's totally your fault by not being inside a personal tank as well /s

SpatchyIsOnline@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1d (1 reply)

This the same guy who made calls for child labour to be legalised and for the civil rights act to be repealed... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this isn't (deliberately) satire

Jiral@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d

Let me guess, he is driving an oversized pickup truck with view lines worse than a German WII tank, right? Or am I haunted by prejudices?

Jiral@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1d (2 replies)

This is rage bait, right? What is this guy saying btw, when 10 car drivers are making 200 people in a light rail wait because traffic lights are completely car centric?

Malfeasant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d

At least where I live, the traffic lights definitely favor the light rail.

0x0@lemmy.zip · -1 pts · 1d

I guess the pollution from idling cars... dunno.

Mulligrubs@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1d (9 replies)

I always assumed the button is just for mashing to soothe angry monkeys, it doesn't actually change the light, does it? That's madness.

forbiddencherry@lemmy.today · 21 pts · 1d (4 replies)

I think it probably depends on the city and maybe even the intersection. Here, when they're working (not a given) you get a walk signal (whereas if you don't push the button it stays a solid do not cross hand). Additionally, the length of the green light is potentially extended to allow enough time for pedestrians to cross.

There's even one intersection here on a road with designated and flimsy bollard separated bike route where I can be approaching on my bike in the bike lane and it notices me and turns the light green for me which is super cool.

Zorque@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d (2 replies)

Are you from nirvana? :o

Mostly for the second thing, the first is pretty common in my area as well.

Grail@multiverse.soulism.net · 4 pts · 1d

Most signaled intersections have bike detection and smart timing in Amsterdam.

forbiddencherry@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1d

Oh, you mean like this? haha! https://youtube.com/watch?v=FklUAoZ6KxY

huppakee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

Not to make you jealous, but most streets here have bike lanes and when they do the traffic light has a light for cyclists as well. It's awesome and super cool.

taiyang@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d

It most certainly changes on some roads, usually to adjust timing for safe crossing. There's a street here that's notoriously wide for stupid reasons (parking in the median lol) and if pedestrians are around it gives them about 60 seconds. No button? Usually 15, but depends a little on time of day.

There's an interesting other case I've heard about from my Mom. There was a light that, at 3am, generally never changed unless a button was pushed. My mom had to get out of her car to push it every night after her night shift. I'm not sure that is still the case, but I suppose if your car never activates a sensor (or you're on a bike or motorcycle), it makes sense.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 1d

It certainly doesn't cause the lights for the cars to change at the intersection at the corner of my apartment. It rarely ever even gives the pedestrian the little dude on the screen instead of the big orange hand.

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d

Might tell the electronics that there's a person waiting so it'll do the audible chirps or pre-recorded verbal messages when the lights change. Haven't paid enough attention to notice whether they still happen with no button-press.

jerkface@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 1d

More and more often, they are "beg buttons" which must be pressed, or a pedestrian green signal will never be given.

Seaguy05@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1d (5 replies)

I push those buttons all the time on my motorcycle. Floor sensors don't pick up my bike sitting at a light if no ones behind me. So I push the crosswalk buttons so I get a turn.

merc@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1d

Are you talking about the induction loops, where you can see lines cut in the street near the stop line? Where I live they work fine for bicycles. There are a few intersections without them where I need to hit the pedestrian button though.

JackFrostNCola@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

You can get magnets for the bottom of your bike which help trigger the sensor btw.

0x0@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 1d

Tell me more.

MML@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d

Where I'm at you just run the light after 2 cycles or some amount of time I can't remember, as in that's encoded in law.

0x0@lemmy.zip · -1 pts · 1d

Floor sensors don’t pick up my bike

I hate those... sometimes i try to rest on top of them but nah... not enough metal.

belochka@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1d

That just means 100 people are making this decision fully aware that others have to cross roads.

BTW, what's about able adult males who use cars instead of a 30 minutes' walk?

I suppose there are horrible places where you can't just walk to such distances, though.

golinux@fedia.io · 17 pts · 1d (3 replies)

"Jeremy Kauffman is an American entrepreneur and political activist known for founding and leading the blockchain-based filesharing project LBRY. He is also a vocal supporter and activist within the Free State Project (FSP), a movement designed to get libertarians to move to New Hampshire. Kauffman was the Libertarian nominee in the 2022 United States Senate election in New Hampshire, losing to Democrat Maggie Hassan. He was elected the chair of the Libertarian Party of New Hampshire in 2026. Kauffman has been known for his provocative statements on Twitter that have been deemed violent, racist, and antisemitic. His legal troubles include misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and obstruction of government administration stemming from an incident where he allegedly tried to fight several people while hurling racist insults."

T156@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d

libertarians to move to New Hampshire

Isn't that the place that ended up with a bear problem because of a libertarian town privatising all its services? So no-one took the rubbish, and then came the bears.

EDIT: It was!

FinalRemix@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Full explanation only 6 words in.

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d

Damn so he is serious. Mental.

Frostbeard@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Close to my home there is two lights on either side of a busy roundabout. Have seen highschoolers coordinating pressing the crosswalk buttons to maximize the mayhem. One part of me thinks they dont get enough beating up, and another part of me thinks "for the lulz! "

huppakee@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1d

The fact those buttons can cause mayhem is a flaw of the manufacturer or the people who set it up though. But if they expected little pedestrians i can imagine they overlooked this.

Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1d (2 replies)

But the whole point of roundabouts is to not have to use traffic lights and let the traffic flow through the intersection.

filcuk@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I would imagine they're crossing lights...

Frostbeard@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d

Aye, crossing lights

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 13 pts · 1d (32 replies)

It's not wrong in the sense that an idling combustion engine is more polluting that one maintaining a speed. An ideal intersection is where all cars can smoothly interact without stopping, something only possible in the theoretical computer guided traffic crossings. Such places would have to have a pedestrian bridge nearby, as they aren't compatible with the slow human form.

Sunforged@lemmy.ml · 56 pts · 1d (4 replies)

So trains. You're describing light rail.

stevles@aussie.zone · 18 pts · 1d (3 replies)

The average yank: “A what?!”

Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1d (2 replies)

It means "just a little cocaine".

socsa@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d (1 reply)

That doesn't seem like it would be enough cocaine

Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

There will be a lot of light rails.

balsoft@lemmy.ml · 35 pts · 1d (4 replies)

The most obvious solution to "idling combustion engine is polluting" is get rid of the combustion engine to the extent possible.

Armok_the_bunny@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d (3 replies)

You would still have cars in that case, and combustion engines aren't the only cause of air quality reduction from cars. Tire wear puts a lot of carcinogens into the air as well at the very least, and I'm sure there are other things.

balsoft@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 1d

Yeah I agree 100%. There should be no personal cars in populated areas with very limited exceptions. It was just a sequitur on the premises of the OC.

wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

Drive on your rims, problem solved. 🌌🧠

jerkface@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 1d

idle tires don't pollute; push more buttons

TIEPilot@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Ped bridges take up a large area and are expensive. Also what if youre in a wheel chair?

davidgro@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d (3 replies)

They typically take the form of a ramp.

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 1d (2 replies)

Exactly, a ramp, which is a major obstacle for wheelchair users. And everybody else.

davidgro@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Ok, what's your solution?

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 1d

Design city streets for humans, rather than maximum car speed.

crazycraw@crazypeople.online · 3 pts · 1d (15 replies)

round about with a walk over bridge.

done annnnd done.

brambc@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Ah yes, let’s force the non-motorised to climb stairs or make a minutes long detour!

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d

I heard an electromagnetic catapult is about to become available, maybe there's another way to solve this. Gotta keep refreshing that GSA auction site.

crazycraw@crazypeople.online · 7 pts · 1d (2 replies)

ok so we could use pneumatic tubes to go places...

naught101@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Futurama style?

crazycraw@crazypeople.online · 2 pts · 1d

good news everyone!

snoons@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 1d

Underground round about with a park on top.

TIEPilot@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 1d (8 replies)

What if youre in a wheel chair?

AWTM_James@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d (7 replies)

Dang, too bad no one's ever thought of that... Oh wait

TIEPilot@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d (6 replies)

Dang look at the size of them, its almost like you can't put them at every cross walk...

Oh and the cost isn't prohibitive, who would have thunk?

Salvo@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 1d

And it only increases the walking distance by a factor of 3. How efficient!

SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d (4 replies)

Why would every intersection need one?

naught101@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Because people all need to get to different places, and walking/wheelchairing half a kilometre in one direction to access a bridge and then walk back sucks

SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

Not every intersection is busy enough to warrant this.

iknewitwhenisawit@fedinsfw.app · 2 pts · 1d

Having a 6-lane highway that goes through a pedestrian zone is a good sign that things have gone off the rails and the design of the space is broken. Making people trudge up stairs and cross a huge road is indeed better than mowing them down with pickups, but feels like a hack. 😅

AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 1d (2 replies)

I press to walk signal for both directions. 🤘

merc@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Same, and if the street is empty I'll often push the button and then cross while the light / crosswalk is still red.

If a driver is inconvenienced, good. Little nudges that make driving less pleasant are good for humanity.

greenhorn@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 1d

Same, I push anyone I walk past regardless if I'm crossing or not, just to inconvenience them a little.

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 13 pts · 1d (2 replies)

This HAS to be satire

I'd say it's about 50/50. Which would make it very good satire if it was. But I don't want to influence Schroedinger's satire by peeking.

huppakee@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d (1 reply)

It's not satire :(

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 1d

Yeah I just saw some of the other comments...

lustyargonian@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 1d (2 replies)

These don’t exist in my country but when I had traveled I pressed these all the time? I hope that country is doing okay.

Wunz@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d

They are not.

lemmyvore@feddit.nl · 9 pts · 1d

They're typically timed into the traffic anyway. They don't turn green instantly whenever you press them, they wait until it makes sense depending on the other lights nearby.

If they're not near an intersection they're typically synchronised with the lights at the closest ones on that boulevard, to allow for a "green wave".

If they're not near any other lights they're still made to enforce a minimum red time between activations so people can't keep making them green.

kamen@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 15h

One hour commute to the office for a job that could be done from home is the real destruction of time in a human life.

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d

This guy is going to shoot a pedestrian for pushing crosswalk signal buttons and claim he's stopping a serial killer.

TryingToBeGood@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 1d

if it's satire, it's not funny. If it isn't, he can eff right off.

Nautalax@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 18h

People intentionally say stupid things on Twitter to rile up viewers into arguing in the replies (free engagement!) and get even people who hate them to share their “content”

abcdqfr@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Can we keep the infantile engagement/rage bait off of this site? Be better y'all

zarkanian@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1d

Comment complaining about ragebait is itself ragebait. Well played.

pedz@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 1d

Ok. I'll also push it when I'll be on the other side of the street, for the next pedestrians.

T156@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d

Even from the picture, that's clearly not 100 cars for a four-way intersection. 12, maybe.

100 (25 per side) would be a massive queue.

criss_cross@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 22h

In my area all of those buttons are vestigial and the cross walks all go on timers.

ignotum@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d

I completely agree, which is why I, an able bodied adult, always run out into oncoming traffic and die

Almacca@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 13h

I once saw a jogger push the crossing button on one of the busiest roads in the city and then continue on his way without crossing. I kinda respect that kind of mad-lad behaviour. :)

friend_of_satan@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 23h

Of course it's satire. Do you think a driver found parking, got out of their car, and took that photo? Of course not. They have places to be! Urgently! Like sitting at the next red light.

jerkface@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 1d
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 1d

Who cares? I have to wait for them to stop so I can cross, so they're wasting MY time.

abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 1d

Yet again, the convenience of the car comes before the health and safety of the general public.

StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 21h

If it's real I think he should be sent to a re-education camp. America really needs them.

Katana314@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d

This guy would love Car Park Capital. Tycoon game where you convert a pedestrian city into a traffic nexus for giant metal frames.

DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 7 pts · 1d

No, this guy has actual shitbag vibes: I think it's real.

hedge_lord@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d

The cars would get so upset if they waited though. It's important that cars get constant exercise. Otherwise the cars will break into your house at night and run you over. They just can't help it otherwise it's part of their instincts. Is that really what you want?

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I have similar thought processes as an adult pedestrian, and sometimes just cross without pressing the button because I'm not a child.

Then sometimes I think "do i really want to be the idiot that got ran over 10ft away from the pedestrian crossing lights?"

5318008@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 23h

The more the traffic gets slowed down by pedestrians crossing, the more the city planners will look at the design of their intersections to improve safety.

Always hit the button, even if you're not going to wait for the light.

Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1d (2 replies)

Troll's gonna troll.

DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 9 pts · 1d

I think this guy is maybe just a for real asshole.

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

I might be fixing up a big bowl of Poe Slaw here but if OOP is who he claims to be, it's plausible. Seems like the kind of jackass who would mean it. Yet another waste of initials that could've meant they were just kidding.

ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1d (6 replies)

What makes me mad is when people press the button and then jaywalk immediately anyway. If you press it, you should have to wait just like the drivers will.

rImITywR@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1d

What makes me mad is pressing the button and then having to wait an additional 5+ minutes for the ped signal to change because it needs to finish the current green phase for cross traffic and an advance left turn phase before letting peds go.

Jaycifer@piefed.social · 4 pts · 1d (3 replies)

I’m not a civil engineer, but based on my experience with traffic lights pushing the button doesn’t actually alter the order of operations for the lights, it just makes it so the next time there is a natural gap in traffic that would allow for safe crossing, the crosswalk light turns on. So it doesn’t affect drivers at all. I’m still not a fan of jaywalking unless the road is REALLY clear.

That said, I’m always Jay walking when I go somewhere :P

driftwood@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d

This is how they seem to work in the US. Coming from other countries - where you know all vehicles have a red light when pedestrians have green - it’s fucked up. Same with green turn signals for vehicles, actually. I don’t know whom thought that made sense…

socsa@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d

It depends on the area. Some places work like this but there are plenty of intersections near me which have a dedicated pedestrian crossing sequences

LodeMike@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1d

Not for smaller roads that intersect with arterials.

socsa@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1d

I do it because it pisses you off. I even press the button when I have no intention to cross the road. Chaotic neutral energy.

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d (7 replies)

No, nothing is worse than reclining your airplane seat.

Jimbabwe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (4 replies)

What’s wrong with reclining?!

Zachariah@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

seats should just be permanently reclined to stop the debate

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d (2 replies)

There's already almost no leg room - and sometimes negative leg room, like for yours truly, who's 6'5".

Jimbabwe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (1 reply)

So.. recline your seat?

azimir@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1d

Doesn't make room for my knees. Also, passing the buck to someone else is just making me the last asshole in the chain.

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (1 reply)

A bored child on an airplane reclining their airplane seat, repeatedly, while throwing a tantrum.

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d

No, I can scare kids. I look big, mean, and scary.

OwOarchist@pawb.social · 5 pts · 1d (1 reply)

You don't push the button because you're concerned about delaying cars.

I don't push the button because I trust my own eyes better than a walk/don't walk signal, and I can usually find a good opening faster than it takes for the signal to change to 'walk'.

We are not the same.

bstix@feddit.dk · 4 pts · 1d

You're not finding any openings without pressing the button if there really are 100 cars crossing in the span of 30 seconds.

orenj@leminal.space · 5 pts · 1d (1 reply)

simply frame perfect parry the vehicles when they collide with you like a real man

AXH@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1d

LT + X Tiger Drop

Formfiller@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 15h

I’m taking my 2” recline it’s all I got

FishFace@piefed.social · 4 pts · 1d

This is ragebait either originally or reposting it here, even if you did caption it how you did.

FaceDeer@fedia.io · 4 pts · 1d

Utilitarianism is a tricky philosophy, it's got a lot of sharp edges like this.

Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 1d

Is there no painted crossing here or is it outside the picture?

taiyang@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d

The thing a ton of people are missing here is... who the hell are you even blocking by crossing? You're going when the cars in your direction are going. Where I live, there's always cars idling for other cars.

What about left turners? Dedicated lights. Right turners? C'mon man, you get to go on red in most places. Four way pedestrian crossing? Well at that point, your car is intruding on a place with high pedestrian traffic; you're lucky your car is even allowed there at this point!

Side note, fuck that button not even having a crosswalk or a pedestrian light. Is this even real? How do you have a button without a crossing light? Smh my head.

humanspiral@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1d

I mean... It's only 6 fucking lanes. This guy looked old enough to know what Frogger is, ffs. Frogger pedestrian rules should replace tax funded schooling of children. Only those who can cross streets without annoying drivers should survive.

peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1d

Never mind being a ass hat, we see three cars at the one light. Even if the other three parts of the intersection had thrice as many cars, we would still be well shy of a hundred. And also, half (maybe less if turning lanes) would be using the same light as the pedestrian.

morrowind@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Judging by the pic, it's maybe 6-7 cars so 2-3 minutes of human life destroyed. A little uneven but not terrible.

tburkhol@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 1d (2 replies)

If that road had 100 cars passing every 30 seconds, there's no able, adult male going to Frogger himself across six lanes.

TIEPilot@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Nor a mom pushing a stroller, a person w/ a cane, etc

forbiddencherry@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1d

Although, surprisingly, he did mention those as exceptions.

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1d

They removed the button and now the "AI" in the red lights are causing all of those cars to periodically stop. Damn you "AI" !! /s

LotrOrc@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Tbf what annoys me more is people who just hang out there on a straight road with no traffic in either direction and refuse to cross til the little white man tells them to.

Like use your damn eyes. There is no one there. Just cross the street.

If its a busy intersection, multiple lanes, press the button.

If its india, just fucking cross because its the driver's job to avoid you and if you just keep walking straight it keeps it predictable for everyone they will find a way to move. If you dont just start walking you won't get to the other side. In which case just stay there

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 6 pts · 1d (2 replies)

That works in the United States if you're white. If you're brown, it's an invitation for a cop to harass you. And if you're Black, they're allowed to kill you.

LotrOrc@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Mate I'm brown in the US I can still cross the street if no one is there

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 0 pts · 1d

That's fine, but other people (like the ones you were criticizing) may have different motivations.

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1d

Excellent bait imo

bugbear@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 21h

Still workshopping my idea of crossing lights for cars instead of pedestrians, but posts like that (satire or not) make me wish my idea became real.

caboose2006@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d (5 replies)

I don't get the reclining airline seats thing. Get over it

JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d (4 replies)

If the person in front of me reclines all the way I can't put a laptop or tablet on my tray table and can't hold a book up where I can read it properly. Worst of all the seat jams into my knees which is very painful. Plus I get to smell their head. Wish they'd either put in non reclining seats or limit it to 1-2 inches. It fucking sucks being behind someone intent on reclining.

caboose2006@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 23h (3 replies)

They are limited to 1-2 inches lol. They barely move. You must be a very large person. I'm 5'10" and 200 pounds and I've never experienced any of what you're describing when the person in front of me reclines.

JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 15h (2 replies)

So because you've never experienced it no one else has?

caboose2006@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 13h (1 reply)

Nope, not saying that. Just saying I've been on dozens of flights both domestic and overseas and never experienced that. I'm bigger than average and the person reclining in front of me has never affected my enjoyment of the flight whether I have a laptop or a book. So either I'm unusually tolerant or you're unusually sensitive. Or big.

JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 13h

Nope, not saying that.

Just saying I've been on dozens of flights both domestic and overseas and never experienced that.

Pick one. Your anecdotal experience is not universally applicable.

LoafedBurrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 23h

Sounds like a Linkedin post.

blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1d

Trying to quantify road rage?

iocase@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 11h
underisk@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 1d

I would make every car on earth wait indefinitely if you gave me the power. People would die, sure, but so many more would be saved.

SabinStargem@lemmy.today · 0 pts · 16h

Honestly, I think the solution is to put an arched bridge over intersections. This lets pedestrians to cross intersections freely without disrupting traffic. The big problem is that this requires a bit more infrastructure, since these bridges have to have ramps for the wheel-chair bound, bikers, and people on crutches. There is probably an disability architect who has calculations and knowledge about the costs and planning this kind of thing would take.

...still, probably cheaper than traffic accidents, even if it initially costs a good bit of dough.

I am guessing that at a four-way intersection, the arched bridge would be an X shape, or Lamda-ish if there are three spots. People move to the center, then point themselves towards their destination. The underside of the bridge can host traffic lights.

DudleyMason@lemmy.ml · -4 pts · 1d

I press every one I see.

Fuck cars and the people who drive them. Get a bus pass.

JohnnyMac@lemmy.world · -9 pts · 1d (6 replies)

Theres a special place in hell for people that push the button and then decide to cross before they get the walk signal, and force all lanes to wait for no one to cross

itsprobablyfine@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Fun fact, if there weren't cars we wouldn't even need traffic lights.

JohnnyMac@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 1d

Fun fact if it weren't for cars you wouldn't have this technology to bitch about cars on.

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 1d (3 replies)

Valhalla, I think it's called. Heroes!

JohnnyMac@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d (2 replies)

How? Press button... Cross before walk signal. Make everyone else wait. How is that cool? If you're just going to cross anyway, don't press the button.

I don't understand the down votes. Seriously. What am I missing. What makes the button presser a hero to make everyone else pause for them, when they aren't even there anymore?

explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1d

Sorry if I'm getting whooshed, but they don't know that they're going to cross anyways. They'll cross in whichever situation comes first.

I think it would be better if all stop lights were just red by default, and you had to push a button to drive your car across the intersection. Then you won't needlessly inconvenience walkers.

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 0 pts · 1d

What you're demonstrating is a lack of empathy, hence the downvotes.

Look: People gotta get places, even degraded subhumans like pedestrians. (/s, obviously, but that's the message street design conveys.) So, imagine you're walking, and you come to yet anothet intersection with yet another stream of cars in your path. You need a clear path to proceed and not die, so you need to cars to stop, or be absent.

I don't know about you, but I'm not clairvoyant. I can't see the future, or view remote locations. So, if you're like me, you can't cross because of the cars, so you push the button provided by the city to make the cars stop, so that you can move forward and not die.

But, then, and this is where the lack of clairvoyance comes in, there's a gap in traffic that you did not foresee! Now, you face a choice: Cross the street while not under threat of a gruesome death under the wheels of a vehicle, or wait until you have the righteousness of a pictogram of a little, white man to light your path while you walk into the path of a speeding brodozer, hoping the driver stops in time. People with a survival instinct prefer the former.

Or, without the color commentary, humans need to cross the street to get to their destination with minimum delay. Asking them to stop, wait, and do a traffic flow analysis to determine whether they need to push the walk cycle button is unrealistic. They're not actually out to screw you, they push the button so they know that they will eventually get a walk signal, but will go earlier if possible.

It's a rational strategy to deal with a terrible system designed by some of the dimmest people on the planet, i.e. American traffic engineers.